Angel of Death
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I make money off these fanfics
"HIDAN….." Hidan's eyelids flickered, and he tossed and turned in his bed. "HIDAN…." The quiet voice rumbled through the priest's consciousness like a big cat purring. Hidan opened his eyes, as silver moonbeams flooded the cheap-ass hotel room his fucking miserly partner had picked to stop for the night in. There standing in front of Hidan was a black hooded figure. A pale hand removed the hood and long white hair tumbled around the face. Hidan had never seen him before, yet he would know him anywhere. Hidan was on his knees, trembling with excitement and fear. Only the most devout priests and priestesses had been visited by Jashin Kami-sama.
"HIDAN, MY MOST FAITHFUL SERVANT." The God purred, "I HAVE A TASK FOR YOU." Hidan dared to raise his head, and looked at Jashin. He then realized why he took on the reaper-like form in his rituals. Jashin had the same skeletal markings, in a well-muscled black body. The only difference were the black and gold wings that stretched past the tiny room.
"Yes Jashin-sama, I will do whatever you command." Said Hidan reverently.
"I WANT YOU TO TAKE ON A WIFE." Hidan couldn't hide his surprise.
"A-a wife J-Jashin-sama?" He stuttered. Hidan was shocked. Followers of Jashin were not allowed to take lovers. It was a sin. Jashin looked at the man.
"YES, BY TAKING A STRONG KUNOICHI AS YOUR WIFE, I CAN REINCARNATE HERE ON EARTH, AS THE CHILD BORN OF YOUR UNION." Hidan couldn't believe his ears! He could scarcely believe that he was being asked to undertake on such an important mission for his God. Hidan nodded slowly trembling with joy.
Temari woke up in the middle of the night, she was thirsty and needed to get a drink of water. The sleepy kunoichi wandered downstairs into the kitchen, she had just put the glass in the sink when she saw him! Temari stared, she knew him! It was Hidan! Her quick mind sprang into action trying to remember everything she knew about the insane priest. He was an Akatsuki member. He made human sacrifices to some evil, freaky deity called Jashin! He was immortal, nothing could kill him. He had taken down a strong jinchuuriki, and even then, Temari couldn't help but feel sexually attracted to the dangerous S-Rank criminal. Temari landed a punch that sent Hidan crashing into the refrigerator then she turned and fled! Hidan winced at his broken nose.
"Stupid fucking bitch! I'll fucking kill her!" Hidan snarled angrily. "SHE'S THE ONE HIDAN……" Hidan smiled.
She had to get her brothers out of here! She kicked open Kankuro's door.
"Temari! What the hell?" He growled. Seeing the panicked look on his sister's face, he got out of bed and grabbed Crow, ready for a fight. "Temari! Behind you!" Kankuro warned. Temari was slammed into the wall.
"That was payback you stupid blonde bitch!" Hidan roared.
"What is going on out there?" Gaara demanded flinging open his door, he froze when he saw the intruder. Temari elbowed him, turned around and knocked him to the floor, fracturing his arm in the process. The man laughed like a lunatic and with his scythe landed it into the leg of the fleeing kunoichi, rendering her immobile. He picked her up and stuck a knife near her throat, suddenly Hidan found himself being surrounded by the Kazekage's sand.
"Let her go." Said Gaara giving a death glare to the intruder. To Gaara's shock, the man laughed and hugged Temari close to him. Temari let out a scream of frustration.
"Go right ahead Kazekage motherfucker! By crushing me, you crush your own fucking sister! You can't kill me dumb-ass! I'm immortal, she's not."
Gaara frowned, "Your bluffing." He said quietly, and began to tighten the sand around them both, expecting the man to give in and let Temari go. "Dammit Gaara! Don't you ever read the bingo books?" Temari wondered.
"It's Hidan! The immortal Jashin Priest!" Temari screamed when she felt her ribs began to give way. Gaara's eyes widened, and he immediately forced his sand to retreat. Hidan breathed a mental sigh of relief. He wasn't sure if he could recover if he was crushed into blood and dust by this fucking freak of a Kazekage, and wouldn't that make his money-grubbing whore of a fucking partner happy as all fucking hell! He smiled suddenly and bit Temari hard, so hard that she bled. Temari clamped her mouth shut, refusing to give the crazy son of a bitch what he wanted. Hidan started backing out with Jashin's captured prize. He grabbed her head and bashed her skull into the wall, effectively knocking her out. He turned and ran off into the night.
Kakuzu yawned and enjoying the silence glanced at his sleeping partner and the woman in his arms. Kakuzu did a double take! Woman in his arms?! Hidan never looked at women, proclaiming sex as a heathen sin and there was a battered, blood-encrusted woman in his arms! His mouth dropped open in shock. She was still breathing which was good he supposed. "He must want her for one of his rituals. Yeah that's it!" From the look at his partner's bloodied face and broken nose, she must have put up a hell of a fight! Thought Kakuzu chuckling quietly. Pity that a babe like that would go to waste as one of Hidan's sacrifices. "Maybe the little hellcat will sleep with me if I set her free? Or give me money?" Kakuzu got an instant hard onat the thought of being paid a handsome sum to be set free. "Hell why not have both?"
Temari woke up to a green-eyed man leering at her, and a hard-on almost in her face as he leaned over her.
"What the hell?! Get away from me!!" She shrieked, ruining Kakuzu's rare moment of silence.
"Back off my fucking wife you goddamn lecher!" Hidan snarled, rising out of bed and swinging at his partner who ducked out of the way.
"YOUR WIFE!!!!" Temari and Kakuzu shouted as one.
"Wait-wait! Your--what?" Kakuzu asked, wondering if he heard his partner right. Hidan blushed furiously.
"Yeah so she's my wife! So-so-fucking what?!" He snapped challengingly. Kakuzu was dumb-struck! He wondered if someone had spiked his drink, that was the only logical explanation he could come up with for this insanity.
"Who says I want to be your wife?" Demanded Temari angrily.
"You shut the fuck up!" Hidan snarled and whispered fervently close to her ear, "You should feel honored you ungrateful little bitch! You have been chosen to carry the incarnated form of Jashin-sama." Temari was thunderstruck! She was in such shock that she couldn't say anything at all. The man was delusional if he thought he could get her pregnant with some freaky, evil God! "What a nutcase! I'll be dead as soon as he realizes that it didn't work and he'll kill the baby too!" She thought, "I have to escape soon!"
Kakuzu blinked, "What?" He asked again.
"Are you fucking retarded old man?" Hidan roared hopping up and down in a fit of pique, "She's my fucking wife! Are you so fucking senile that you forgot what the hell a wife is? Need me to get the fucking dictionary for ya?" Kakuzu had had enough of the foul-mouthed priest's bad attitude, he cut Kakuzu's head off and shoved a pillow over his face to muffle the screaming. Temari looked ill and…strangely grateful to the missing waterfall nin. He turned to the girl.
"Do you have any money?" He asked her.
"What?" Asked Temari gaping at him.
"Do you have any money?" Kakuzu repeated, losing patience.
"Why the hell do you want to know if she has money dumbass!" Hidan screamed from under the pillow.
"Shut up Hidan else or I'll sit on you!" Kakuzu said angrily. Hidan shut up.
"Why?" Asked Temari.
Kakuzu sighed, "Because he," he explained pointing to the headless body, "Pisses me off, and pissing him off is one of the few pleasure I have in my life. If you give me money right now, I'll set you free." He held out his hand expectantly, like a child demanding a treat.
Temari groaned, "No, I don't have any money."
Kakuzu looked disappointed. "Well, fine! But don't expect a lavish wedding girl." He said grimly. Temari growled in frustration.