Catch me in the Night
A/N: What's up my peeps? Lol. Here's yet another OneShot! Hope you enjoy and don't forget to review. Ja!
She was hurting so much. So very, very much. Her heart was bleeding, her cries were endless. She was screaming voicelessly, her hands desperately trying to grab a hold of something. Of anything. As long as she stopped falling. Stopped falling deeper and deeper inside herself. Enveloping her in a dark abyss of suffering. Somebody help me, she thought, her tears seeming endless as she continued to fall. Fall deeper. Deeper. So deep. Anyone… please help, she pleaded inwardly.
And then, she felt something grab a firm hold of her wrist, stopping her from falling any further into the bottomless void. Her pain was receding, her soul became lighter. With a grateful smile, she looked up to her savor. "Thank yo--" she started but then, she stopped, her breath hitching in her throat. Dark violet eyes, the colour of tainted blood, looked down on her, an evil smirk on his face. Her pain came back in full force accompanied with immense fear.
She felt the hand let go of her and, she finally screamed as the darkness consumed her entirely. The last thing she saw were the dark, amused eyes that danced staring as she fell.
Kagome shot up from her sleeping bag, her entire body sweaty as she cried. Hastily, she wiped the tears away with her pajama sleeves. Careful not to wake the kitsune next to her, she stood up shakily, terror still running through her veins. Silently, like a ghost, but stumbling here and there, she walked towards the nearest stream. It was only a few meters away from camp, bordered by the thick trees that separated it from view.
She collapsed at the edge, unable to look at herself in the water. She cried silently with hidden pain, hidden anguish that she hid so well during the day. Something was wrong with her. Something seriously wrong.
Continuing to cry, she hauled herself up, her throat suddenly dry and thirsty. She knelt by the stream shakily, drinking in the pure, clear water as if she had been in a dessert for weeks. Water dribbled down her chin and lightly soaked her clothes but she didn't really mind. She splashed the cool water upon her face, washing the tears away.
As she dried herself off, her face was once again clear of tracks or pain although she looked a bit tired. She looked up, to the dark blanket sky. The stars were out, blinking quickly as the almost crescent moon shone brightly, illuminating her slightly wet figure.
She's been having those dreams for three nights now, ever since Naraku had kidnapped her. Every night she would experience it, the pain, the suffering. Everything. She felt a piece of her break with every dream, with every nightmare. With every moment she lived that horrible fantasy. She had wanted to tell the others but she had figured that it was only from fright and fear. But now, she wasn't so sure.
Sighing to herself, she got up, feeling the cool grass between her toes. She had thought that the dreams would stop for a few days. But it hadn't. It just kept on coming. No experience was pleasant and they never seemed to ease either. It was the same torment over and over again, as if she was experiencing it for the first time ever.
But she wouldn't trouble her friends. No. They already had enough troubles as it is. They didn't need to worry about her. It'll probably go away in a few more days. She thought to herself hopefully yet falsely. They don't need to worry about me. She looked down. They shouldn't need to worry about me, she thought sadly.
And so, she treaded back to camp, snuggling herself into her sleeping bag until she was comfortable. She prayed with all her might that she didn't have that dream again. She pulled Shippo closer to her, relieving in the warmth and safeness he gave her. She closed her eyes tiredly, failing to notice the golden eyes that had watched her tonight. And the last night. And the one before that.
She had the same dream next night, the same anguish and terror. She woke up at the middle of the night, panting and sweating. But she fought the tears. She didn't cry that night. She kept them bottled inside, like she always did with strong emotions.
And, as always, her guardian watched silently, his golden hues expressing something foreign.
"We're going back to that old bag, Kaede." Inuyasha proclaimed the next morning.
Everyone looked at him in confusion. "But why?" Miroku asked, just as confused as the others were. "We still have a good amount of supplies and none of us are seriously injured." He told the hanyou.
But Inuyasha wasn't looking at him. Instead, he was looking at Kagome who had averted her eyes. "We're still going." He said gruffly with finality.
"But it'll be a week before we get there." Sango argued. "And we've made such good progress too. Plus, didn't we just leave?" she asked skeptically.
The hanyou crossed his arms stubbornly. "Feh. We're going back okay? Besides, there isn't a shard close by." He said.
"How do you know?" Shippo asked curiously.
He looked towards Kagome. "Are there any shards near us, wench?" he asked rudely.
Without arguing, she shook her head. "None of that I could sense at the moment." she informed them. "But tell me why we need to go back again?" she asked, slightly curious.
He just turned around, avoiding the question. "Come on. Let's get a move on." He said roughly, already walking in the lead.
The humans and kitsune followed slowly behind him, confused expressions plastered on their faces. Well, at least Kagome had a clue. She walked behind the group, staring at the ground. He knows, she thought with slightly fear. He's been watching me all this time. Why hadn't he said anything before? She asked herself mentally.
She looked up briefly, staring at the back of the hanyou's silver head. She felt her pace slower. Her heart had restricted at that moment and she didn't know why. Without knowing it, she had come to a halt.
Inuyasha, noticing the absence of a single beat, stopped and turned, noticing the still Kagome. "Oi wench." he shouted at her. "What? Dead feet already?" he asked, slightly irritated that their progress had stopped. But inwardly, he was worried. What was Kagome feeling right now?
She looked up at the sound of his voice, the tears she forced inside drying as she gave them all a sheepish smile. "Heh, heh." she said nervously. "Sorry about that. I kind of spaced out." she said, scratching the back of her head.
The humans and kitsune nodded their heads and continued to walk. Kagome also began to walk, faster this time so she walked side by side with her friends. She needed them close at the moment. She didn't want to be alone.
And, the hanyou, surprisingly, fell back, watching the group from behind. Well, more specifically, watching Kagome. Kagome… he thought, saddened slightly as he watched the back of her figure walk slowly in front of him. Are you hurting right now?
Night came in faster than they expected as they made up camp. Sango and Miroku were sleeping separately on different trees while Shippo once again found his place next to Kagome, sleeping in her sleeping bag. And, as usual, the hanyou was perched upon the tree, his eyes closed.
But he wasn't sleeping. He was waiting. Waiting for Kagome's dreams to begin. And they did as soon as midnight came. He opened his eyes to the sound of her moving, the smell of her discomfort and fear. He hopped down from his tree and approached her slowly, worry and anxiety written in his eyes.
He had yet to forgive himself for letting Kagome get captured by Naraku. It was all his fault. He found it amazing that she was still willing to trust him. But, as he watched her, he was reminded that he was failing as her protector. He had witnessed her nightmares more than once but he had thought they were just usual ones that would fade away.
But, with each passing night, it would hold out for longer. And, with each experience, he'd see her wake up slightly more broken and shattered. He really began to worry last night when he didn't see her cry. That had terrified him to no end.
He knelt down beside the tossing human, softly pushing the stray hair from her face. Even at this state, he couldn't help but think how beautiful she was. But, her frown, the scent of fear and terror, it destroyed his image of her. It was replaced by mountains of worry and the picture of Kagome, his Kagome, broken and soulless. It horrified him like no other.
He crouched down and whispered sweet things in her ear. But it didn't do anything. The vision she was having, it was too intense for his voice to penetrate. He was growing desperate every passing minute, worry rising with every second. He shook her slightly, calling out her name softly so he didn't wake the others.
And suddenly, her eyes went wide with a mixture of fear and terror. She backed away and he was left hurt and confused. "Kagome…?" he said softly, true worry and care etched into his voice.
Kagome blinked once, forcing back the tears that threatened to spill. It was weird. It became easier and easier to hold them back after each dream although the pain was still intense, the suffering and emptiness still overwhelmingly constant. "Inuyasha." She whispered.
Before he could even say anything, she had stood up and ran into the forest, trying to find a stream, a spring, anything. Inuyasha had immediately followed her. He followed her scent. Her frightened, terrified, ashamed scent. Ashamed?
As he caught up to her, he found her sprawled on the ground, shaking slightly. "Kagome!" he yelled worriedly as he ran up to her. He crouched down and softly picked her up. She continued to shiver, her eyes shut closed. He picked her up and held her on his lap, hugging her against his chest as she continued to shiver like she was cold. "It'll be all right. I promise." He murmured in her hear. He could smell the tears. But she bottled them inside. It wasn't a good thing. Bottling things up were never a good thing.
A few minutes past and her shivering suddenly ceased. She pulled back slightly yet Inuyasha's hands were firmly holding her to him. "Inuyasha…" her raspy voice said. "I need… water." She said quietly.
Without a second thought, Inuyasha nodded and scooped her up bridal style and made his way to the nearest fresh water stream, his nose as a guide. Kagome was held tightly again him, his large sleeves keeping her warm against the cool night air.
He finally reached one and he set Kagome down gently. She thanked him quietly as she drank with large gulps. Inuyasha watched this all with a growing knot in his stomach. As she finished her fill, she sat back down and stared at the grass, not wanting to meet the hanyou's gaze.
"Stop it." he suddenly said, surprising her.
She looked up with wide eyes, staring at the serious young man. "Stop what?" she asked in confusion.
His eyes narrowed at hers. "Stop acting so damn tough." He growled at her, coming closer. She stayed rooted to her spot, her body stiff as he neared her. "It's not you. It'll never be." he said as he pulled her in with his arms, hugging her from behind as he set her on his lap. "You should have said something. Anything. You should've at least told Sango. Why didn't you?" he asked angrily yet softly.
Kagome didn't respond for quite awhile. During that time, the forestry around them was dead quite, the stars gazing down on them softly as the moon was no where to be seen. Probably behind the dark clouds or large, ancient trees. "It'll go away." She said softly, finally answering him. "These nightmares, they'll go away. Some day."
Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at the back of her head. "No. They won't." he growled. "Not unless you tell me what you're dreaming about."
This time, Kagome didn't hesitate to answer him. She looked up, looking at the sky blankly, recalling the painful dreams. "Nothing." She said quietly. "I dream of nothing." She turned around, twisting her body so she could face Inuyasha. "And it hurts me." she continued softly, her once lively eyes staring blankly down into his. "I dream of nothing but black and yet, it hurts as if the entire world was against me, hurting me as I fall." no tears gathered in her eyes. Nothing. Not even a drop. "But then, someone catches me. He always catches me. Every single night. And I feel so grateful because whenever he does, I don't feel as bad." A bittersweet smile had spread across her face, although it was small. "But, in reality, he was the one who gave me these dreams in the first place." She whispered.
She hugged Inuyasha then, winding her arms around his waist. He immediately wrapped his arms back around her, taking in her suddenly blunter scent. He didn't need a second guess to know who she was talking about. "And… every night, I feel different." she continued, her voice tickling his ear. "Like a piece of me was missing. Like, I'm cracking and I don't know how to fix myself." She murmured.
With every word her voice began to become silent until she suddenly collapsed, her full weight coming onto Inuyasha. But he held her tight as he hugged her safely in his arms. Her eyes were closed, her breaths coming out in even, calm breaths. She was asleep.
But Inuyasha didn't move. He continued to hold her like that, continued to keep her within his arms. He never wanted to let her go. Never. But he knew, he knew that he wasn't much use if Naraku assaulted her in her sleep again. Which, he was certain, was going to be the very next night.
And it did. It never once failed to come. Around the same time, she'd start tossing and turning, panting and sweating, then waking up to find Inuyasha watching her. Every night he'd spend time comforting her, although he knew it was rather pointless. Every night he watched her, feeling helpless and angry with himself. He let this happen. This only happened because he let her be kidnapped by Naraku. If she wasn't, then she wouldn't be suffering at the moment.
And, with every morning, she'd be less bright, more duller. Her eyes would be more calm, blank even. She had hardly risen her voice during the first few days but now, she hadn't even risen it against him. Every night when she'd wake up, she wouldn't cry either. Until, two nights before they would arrive at Kaede's, she'd stop getting up all together. After she'd wake up, she'd just lay in bed, her eyes open and staring at nothing. She was a doll. She had no soul. No life within her. And it broke Inuyasha every single time he saw her.
All this did not go unnoticed by the others.
It was the last night until they reached Kaede's hut and finally find help for Kagome. But, Inuyasha was beginning to think whether or not she could actually help. He was once again perched on a usual tree, Kagome sleeping calmly below him. He stared at her sadly. He had hardly any sleep during the last few nights. He was so worried about Kagome. Her duller attitude, her silence. Everything.
It was just before midnight and, as if on cue, Kagome began to toss and turn. Except, this night, she didn't do it as much and she didn't seem all that bothered. She just moved around, only little sweat. He knew the dreams weren't softening on their assault. If they were, Kagome would be getting better, not worse.
So, he hopped down, crouching beside her. He kept murmuring useless things to her, in efforts to ease her unseen pain. But, as usual, his voice didn't penetrate anything. It seemed that it was even more distant now then the first time he did this.
Suddenly, she stopped moving, signaling the end of her horrid dream. He waited for her to wake up, waiting for her to lift up her eyes even though it pained him to see them. But, she didn't. She didn't stir. Her eyes never fluttered opened. They were kept close as her breaths began to shorten and grow weaker.
Instantly, Inuyasha panicked. He grabbed a hold of her shoulders and shook her lightly. "Kagome?" he asked anxiously. She still did not wake. "Kagome?" he asked desperately, a little louder than before. "Kagome!" he yelled, shaking her a little more harshly.
And then, her eyes began to flutter open like a butterfly's wings. Her blank chocolate eyes stared right through him and it irked him to no end. Her eyes held no fear, no terror, no tears. Nothing. At least she woke up, Inuyasha thought positively. It didn't help much though. With the look she was giving him, she might as well be dead.
Kagome gave him a soft, small smile although it didn't reach her eyes. The smile was ghost like, hardly even there. "He's left me." she said so softly that even Inuyasha had to strain his hearing. "He didn't come tonight. He let me continue to fall." The ghost of a smile suddenly disappeared as she slumped in his arms, a peaceful look on her face.
But this peaceful look did not ease his nerves in the slightest. It only succeeded in rising them. I have to get her to the old bag now! He thought rapidly with growing panic. With one swift notion, he lifted Kagome up bridal style and took off, not bothering to inform the others that he was leaving. There wasn't enough time.
He ran with all his hanyou speed, keeping the girl so very dear to him close to his chest so she wouldn't get cold. So she wouldn't get whipped by the icy wind that harshly whipped around him. I'm so sorry, Kagome, he thought, angry at himself. I'm so sorry.
In a couple of hours, the village finally came into view. Inuyasha's hopes soared like a newly freed bird as he sped faster towards Kaede's hut, despite his tiredness and aching bones. He didn't matter as long as Kagome could live.
He barged into the hut rudely, yelling as if there was a raid going on. "Kaede! Get your worn butt over here! Kagome's in trouble!" he yelled, rapidly searching for said old miko. "Kaede!" he yelled angrily, impatient.
He heard light taps of feet on the floorboards as the slightly alert miko entered the room. "For goodness sakes, Inuyasha." She murmured, rubbing her one eye. She wasn't in a good condition. Her hair was all messy and she had hastily put on her miko clothes. Anyone could tell she wasn't fully focused. "This had better be good." She warned.
"Wake up, you old hag!" Inuyasha growled louder than necessary. "There's something wrong with Kagome!" he yelled.
Almost immediately, Kaede was wide awake as she stared at the limp body in Inuyasha's protective arms. "Kagome, child." She murmured. "What happened to ye?" she asked herself. "I'll go get a mat. Inuyasha, make sure she's warm until I get back." She said as she exited the room quickly.
Inuyasha stood there impatiently, tightening his hold on Kagome's cooling body. "Please, Kagome." Inuyasha murmured to her. "Please hang in there for a little more. You're going to feel better, I promise."
Kaede came back quickly, setting the mat on the cold wooden floors. Carefully, Inuyasha set her down on it while the old miko lit a few candles with the flints. They flared with life as she put the candles around Kagome's body, a safe distance away. As she began to inspect the young miko, she asked Inuyasha. "What had happened to our poor child?" she asked solemnly as she took note of her light breathing.
"She has been having bad dreams." Inuyasha told her from the opposite side. "She says it's about nothing. Just a black void and that she's falling. Then, that bastard Naraku would catch her only to let her go again. That's about the time when she wakes up. And whenever she does, it seemed as if a little bit of her soul was being sucked out of her. I can't place it." he said with a slight shiver.
As Kaede checked her pulse, she continued to ask him questions. "And when did she start having these dreams?" she asked.
Inuyasha's ears drooped slightly. "After Kagome was kidnapped by Naraku." He said in shame. "He had tried to take control of her or something-or-other. I wasn't there to protect her like I should." His eyes narrowed. Hate for himself. "That bastard must have done something to her." and hate for that blasted hanyou.
Kaede sighed gravely as she stopped inspecting the pale girl. "I think that the fiend has inflicted an incantation on Kagome." she told the hanyou carefully. "It's very powerful, no one has ever survived it and hadn't changed."
"What's the incantation woman?" Inuyasha barked, ready to kill something. Anything.
"It's a sort of curse." Kaede started slowly. "Every night, the victim is inflicted many injuries. Either mentally, emotionally or physically. It can do any. But, in this case, it seems to have inflicted Kagome emotionally, which is really quite rare. The curse only does this kind of harm to people whose souls are already scared, cracked or broken." She informed him, glancing up at Inuyasha.
He looked chest fallen. I did this. He thought to himself. All those times I went to Kikyo, I knew it hurt her. But I kept doing it. I kept going, even though I knew. I knew and I continued to hurt her. That's the whole reason why Naraku was able to take her in the first place. Because I went off looking for Kikyo…and left her defenceless… he thought, shame, regret and self-hatred swimming in his eyes like a never-ending storm.
"Is there any way to… get rid of it?" Inuyasha asked, his voice quiet and distant. And hurting. If Kagome had heard his tone right now, she would have cried. Or got angry. Or both and slapped him to snap out of it. But, she wasn't able to hear it. She wasn't even awake to see how much the person she cared for was hurting himself.
"Luckily, there is a cure although, she might never be the same." She said quietly. "This curse always leaves a scar, no matter how strong in spirit they may be. I've even heard of great, wise and powerful people fall prey to this evil spell. A curse. It is something that can only be used by the truly heartless of demons." She murmured.
"Well, if there's an antidote, then hurry up and get it!" Inuyasha yelled, running out of patience.
She sighed and walked out the room, her light footsteps fading. And, while they were alone, Inuyasha knelt down and touched his forehead onto hers slightly. Her skin was cool to touch, unlike his that was warm. "I'm so sorry." He said to her, although he doubted she heard it. "Please stay with me Kagome. I don't care what you do once you wake up. Just stay by my side. Like you promised." He whispered. "And… I'll always stay by yours."
Two and a half weeks after Kaede gave her the potion, Kagome was finally healthy enough to get up and walk for a couple of minutes. But, even though she was conscious, her eyes never really looked alive. They were still blank looking, although looking much more better than before. She had tried to smile every once and awhile but then she'd fail and go back to her unapproachable self.
Inuyasha had watched her everyday. Every night. He stayed by her side whenever he could. He found out that she didn't have any of those horrible dreams anymore and he was glad because of that.
But he knew that Kagome would never be the same. Time can heal any wound but it cannot heal a scar. Maybe, in a few more months, or even years, she'd grow to be more open and happy. But she'll never revert back to her old self. The thought saddened Inuyasha somewhat but not for long. This was Kagome. She'll always be Kagome, no matter what. Heck. She could act like Sesshomaru and I'd still lov- his thoughts ceased. Love? Did he really love her?
He let this thought fly through his mind during the next week. The progress of healing Kagome's emotional state was really slow. Sometimes, he'd catch her smile here and there but they were always false or fake. At least she was actually trying this time. Inuyasha couldn't bare it if she never smiled at all.
She hardly talked to anyone except for those who talked to her first. So, unsurprisingly, she had never said a word to him. Sure, he'd murmur a few things to her but that was only when she was asleep. During her waking hours, he'd be gone and she wouldn't see him. She wouldn't see him. He was always watching her, even though that sounded kind of freaky.
Inuyasha rested on the tree, watching Kagome rest during the day. He sighed. He still blamed himself. He also didn't know what was going through her head. He missed her scent, her lively and natural scent. She still had it although it was dampened by something. Something inside probably that might never be fixed. He hadn't talked to her for so long and it was driving him nuts. So, he decided, that tonight that he'd actually speak with her.
And, even after all these weeks, she had yet to cry.
Quietly, like a burglar, Inuyasha crept into Kaede's hut and to Kagome's side, just like every single night. His activities were not unknown to the group although they chose to not bring the topic up, which Inuyasha was grateful for.
He sat there, his legs underneath him, watching as her chest rose and fell with every breath she took. The moon shone through the window, casting a silver light on her head. She looked so serene and calm. She looked much better now than she did before. Unknown to him, his hand began to move forward and cup the side of her cheek.
Her skin was warm to touch although still slightly cool. He rubbed his fingers against the smoothness of her skin gently, his golden eyes softening with each stroke. With his other hand, he used it to tuck the stray hairs nehind her ears. He crouched lower, wanting to get a better smell of her. She's so beautiful, he thought to himself. He didn't even bother denying it.
And, he saw her eyes as they began to flutter open. He pulled back slightly, his hand retracting to return to his side. Her eyes finally opened and she stared at the hanyou above her impassively. Inuyasha's heart was beating a mile per minute as they gazes stayed. There was something different in her eyes that she didn't show around the others. He just didn't know what.
His eyes widened slightly when she sat up, her raven hair falling into place at her back. Inuyasha's heart pounded. He hasn't been this close to her for three weeks with her awake. His heart was crying out to hers, begging to show at least some recognition or affection.
Kagome's head turned as she stared at Inuyasha blankly. He stared back with unidentified emotions flitting across his face. "Kagome…" Inuyasha finally breathed, staring at her as if he'd just realized how lovely she was.
And, to his surprise, the 'broken doll' smiled softly in return. And it wasn't a fake one either. It reached her eyes, even if it was only slightly. "Inuyasha…" she said softly. Both his heart and soul soared at her saying his name. He didn't know why. "Inuyasha, I've…" she said quietly. "I've… missed you." She admitted in a monotone, her smile now gone from her face.
And yet, Inuyasha could barely contain his joy. He pulled her gently into a chest warming hug, his arms tight around her petite body. He buried his nose into her hair, taking her scent. She hadn't changed all that much. It was just more calmer… He didn't dislike it at all. He had enveloped her in a warm hug, his arms trying to pull her as close to him as possible without hurting her.
It's been forever since he last heard her voice up close. It was quiet, calm, serene… empty. But something was in there that he couldn't place. It wasn't in a monotone. It was something more… her. That's the only word that could possibly fit.
"You have no idea." Inuyasha murmured back.
There was a soft silence after that, the two of them letting the silence of the night consume them gently. At night, it seemed as if the earth was completely different. Usually, nothing would be moving about. Almost everything was asleep due to the calm alluring of the dark. Here, the dark wasn't feared. It was welcomed to put them into a blissful slumber.
"Inuyasha…" Kagome suddenly spoke slowly. He grunted softly to tell her that he was listening. She continued, her voice never changing in tone. "Do you… Do you think I'm a freak?" she asked.
His eyes widened with great surprise. "What? No! Why would you think that?" he asked, slightly angry that someone had put that thought into her mind.
She stayed quiet for a few seconds before she answered. "That I'm the way I am." She told him gently, her voice now telling a tale of sadness. "I know what I was like before. It isn't as if I've lost my memory or something." She said quietly. "I know what I was like before all this. I loved my life before Naraku came along." She whispered. "And… now, I can't even bring myself to smile when someone wants me to. Or I can't even laugh freely without people noticing it was forced. It only ends up with them saddening even more." Her eyes finally expressed the feeling of sadness, regret and shame. "I don't feel… like me." She whispered sadly. "The person I am now is a… stranger."
At her words, Inuyasha only held her tighter. "You are who you are, Kagome." He told her gruffly. "Nothing can change that. I admit, you're not the same person you were before but you're still Kagome, no matter how you act. And even though you're different, you'll heal gradually. And if you don't heal completely, we'll adapt." He kissed the back of her head. "Because, you're worth it Kagome. Everybody cares for you and wants you to be happy. Don't go thinking stuff like that."
Another ghost of a smile played on Kagome's lips as she closed her eyes sleepily. "Thank you… Inuyasha." She said, succumbing into a light slumber.
He didn't move from his spot. He only held her against his chest, his arms wound around her waist, his head leaning on her shoulder as hers did to his.
Another week had past since Inuyasha had talked with Kagome that night. And, he was glad to say, she was getting slightly better. Her smiles were more frequent, if only slightly, but most of them were still forced. She'd try to laugh once and a while but it always failed. The others knew how hard she was trying and never felt anger or disappointment towards her. They loved her. They couldn't blame her for what had happened.
And still, the hanyou couldn't walk up to her and chat with the others watching. He still blamed himself, still regretted the actions he did. It was all in all his fault that Kagome had this curse and he wasn't about to forgive himself any time soon. The others did. But not him.
That night, he went over to Kagome to find that she wasn't asleep yet. He approached her and she turned her head, smiling slightly at the sight of him. He smiled back because he could. Because he wanted to and because he felt like it. Seeing her made his chest all warm inside. "Hey, stranger." Kagome said, trying to liven up her voice.
Inuyasha smirked down at her and said. "Hey yourself." He seated beside her against the wall. She crawled up to him and hugged him gently. He hugged her back without hesitation.
"You know, you really should stop blaming yourself." She said quietly. "Come up to me in day time. Come up to me at any time. Just please stop avoiding me until it's night." She whispered against his chest.
His eyes lowered. "I'm sorry." He apologized. "But I can't. I'm the one responsible for all this. I can't forgive myself as long as you're still hurting. I just can't."
Kagome pulled back and cupped his face within her hands. "Remember what you said before?" she asked, attempting to smirk and slightly pulling it off. "You have to adapt. For my sake and the others. You said it yourself, I might never return to what I was before this." The attempted smirk disappeared to be replaced by a sad smile. "Are you going to behave this way forever then?"
Inuyasha averted his eyes, unable to look in hers with a straight face. "But… it was all my fault. I caused you nothing, nothing, but pain." He said quietly, his doggy ears drooping.
The human miko looked at him awhile longer before she turned around and sat back. Inuyasha lifted hr gently and placed her comfortably on his lap as he leaned against the wall. "You really don't know what you're doing to me, do you?" Kagome asked quietly.
"Huh?" was Inuyasha's intelligent response.
Kagome giggled softly, and, unlike most of them, it was real. It made Inuyasha's heart flutter. "You have no idea what you're doing to me every single night." She whispered. "You make me feel better, in the mornings, I feel more like myself after I had a talk with you. You shouldn't hide yourself." She whispered, gazing out the window and into the bright, full moon. "It's not your fault." She said with so much finality that he actually believed it. Well, right now, he'd do just about anything she'd ask.
They sat like that for a few more minutes, Inuyasha trying to gather the courage to say what he should've said a long time ago. "Kagome I-"
"It's a nice night." She said softly, her eyes not focusing on anything. "Have you noticed it before?" she asked.
He looked at her in confusion. "Um, yeah. Sure." He said off-handedly. "Kagome, I want to tell you, that you really mean a lot to me and I can't bear the thought of losing you again." He thought. Why? Because I love you.
Kagome smiled softly. "Thanks. I feel the same way." She whispered. At least, her feels hadn't changed. "And, I want to tell you, that I've been having that dream again." She whispered, her soft smile still placed on her face.
At the statement, Inuyasha was panicking. "What?" he almost screamed. "I thought you got rid of that long ago!" he said. He was so darn sure. She hadn't been tossing, hadn't been discomforted. Nothing to suggest the return of the curse!
Kagome turned around so he straddled her waist. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him in a loving manner. She then pulled back, tears glistening her eyes. And yet, her smile held its place over her angelic face. "And now, I'm able to cry." She said silently. And, as if on cue, her tears began to fall. The ones she's been bottled inside for a month. And boy, did it feel good to be free.
Inuyasha stared at her, catching her tears with his thumb. He hadn't smelt these tears in a long time… and, now, he didn't think that her crying was a bad thing. So, he didn't hate the crystal drops that fell from her eyes. But, it still confused him on why she was able to cry now and not before. "Why?" he asked, curious and gentle.
Kagome closed her eyes at his touch and smiled a little bit more wider. "Because… when I fell, you were the one who caught me and didn't let go." She whispered quietly, opening her chocolate colored eyes once more. She leaned down, the moon shining down to illuminate them both in a soft silver light, and gave him a soft chaste kiss that he returned.