Just A Short Little Trip, That's All

Author owns no rights to Firefly, and no copyright infringement is intended. Fanfic only.

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Written for the 10 CrackFics Challenge, using Table B

Rating should probably by R for suggestive content.

First attempt at this, so be kind:)

A/N Replaced the boy-whore prompt with River going shopping.

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"Why are we doin' this again?"

"Because it's a job, Jayne," Mal said over his shoulder. "One that pays cashy money, and one where I ain't like to be shot."

"Well, I'm all for you not getting shot," Simon said straight-faced. "I need the time off."

"Very funny, Simon," Mal groused. "We're picking up an entertainment outfit on Persephone, and takin' 'em to their next show, on Deadwood. Cash up front, and not much in the way o' heavy liftin'."

"We'll, I don't care so much 'bout you gettin' shot," Jayne smirked, "but no heavy liftin' sounds good."

"You two should do a comedy act," Mal snarled, and Simon and Jayne both chuckled.

"Are you two harrassin' the Captain, again?" Zoe asked, walking down the stairs into the cargo bay.

"Yes, they are," Mal whined. "Make'em stop."

"He started it!" Jayne and Simon both exclaimed at once, pointing to each other. Zoe couldn't help but burst into laughter at that.

"Let's go, already," Mal ordered. Jayne and Zoe got on the mule. Just as they were about to leave, River came bounding down the stairs.

"Wait for me!" she called out, and jumped from the stairs toward the mule. Jayne reached up and caught her with ease, lowering her into the rear of the vehicle.

"Thank you, my Jayne," River smiled, kissing him soundly.

"Oh, my eyes! My eyes!" Simon looked away. "I'm blind!"

"Ignore him, and he'll go away," River sniffed, and Jayne chuckled. Simon hadn't reacted too terribly bad to River's announcement that she and Jayne were, involved, and Mal, after seeing the effects that the little assassin had had on the merc, had even stopped threatening to throw him out the airlock. Still. . . .

"That's enough, you two," Mal groused, and engaged the mule.

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"Why is it you decided to come along, Albatross?" Mal asked.

"Going shopping, Captain Daddy," River smiled from where she was snuggled into Jayne's embrace.

"For what?" Mal demanded.

"I don't think you want me to answer that," River smirked, and Mal's face went slightly red.

"No, I don't. Forget I asked." The Mule eased to a stop in front of a building that announced it was the 'Farrellday Theater', and Mal engaged the break.

"Well, this is the place," Mal told them, dismounting. "Jayne, you keep an eye on Albatross while she does whatever she's doin', and don't be long. Half-hour at most."

"All right, Cap'n," Jayne nodded, helping River down. Mal and Zoe went inside, leaving the couple in the street.

"So, is that a protein bar in your pants?" River batted her eyes up at him, "or were you glad to see me?"

"I'm always glad to see you," Jayne growled.

"Come on," River smiled. "We have to hurry."

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Inside the theater, Mal looked around. Seeing a young woman in the open office, he cleared his throat.

"Excuse me, miss. I'm looking for a Mister Johan Trebel. Might you know where I can find him?"

"I'm Trebel," a voice said from behind him. Mal turned, but didn't see anyone.

"Zoe, am I losin' it?" Mal asked quietly.

"If you are, we're both gone," Zoe murmured back. "I heard it too."

"I'm down here," the voice said again, and both looked toward the floor to see. . . .

"Never seen a dwarf before?" the small man snapped indignantly, hands on his hips.

"Uh, no sir," Mal replied politely. "I ain't. But that's not a problem. I'm Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, and this is my first mate, Zoe Washburn."

"A first rate first mate, too," Trebel eyed Zoe's figure up and down, appreciatively.

"Uh, we're supposed to be doin' some business, aren't we?" Mal said, trying to keep Zoe from stomping on their small contact.

"Right you are," Terbel nodded. "Business before pleasure, I always say," he smirked at Zoe and turned. "Follow me, please." Zoe was huffing by now, and fingering her carbine.

"Zoe, he's just tryin' to rile you," Mal said, the hint of a grin teasing his lips. The hint withered at the look she gave him.

"It's workin'."

They followed the dwarf into a small storeroom, where others his size were sitting, waiting. All of the men stood up straighter at the sight of Zoe, and the tall warrior woman looked distinctly uneasy.The women, fewer in number but equally small, eyed Mal appreciatively, though he didn't seem to notice.

"This is our troop, Captain," Trebel said. "And our gear. I assume there's no problem with taking it?"

"No, not at all," Mal nodded. "You gonna have it delivered to the ship, or want us to haul it?"

"We'll bring it ourselves," Trebel said, maybe a tad nervously. "Where shall we meet you?" Mal told him what berth they were in.

"We'll be there in an hour," Trebel nodded. "Here's your payment, Captain," he handed Mal a small bag. "Half now, half on arrival, as requested."

"Good enough," Mal nodded, checking the coin. "We'll be waitin'."

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"What a job," Zoe grumbled, as the two walked out onto the street. "A buncha horny midgets. All the way to Deadwood."

"Ease up, Zoe," Mal chuckled. "Just a short, little trip. That's all. We can do it."

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Jayne and River had walked down the street a ways, River leading. Jayne didn't grouse like he might have if anyone else were along. Truth was, he loved River Tam, with a passion he himself had never thought possible. She had somehow managed to worm her way into his heart, and unlock the boy that had withered and died long ago, learning to live life on the run, in the black.

And he found that he liked it.

"Where is it we're going, again?"

"I need clothes," River said over her shoulder. "Certain neanderthal style lovers seem completely oblivious to the fact that underwear, once it's torn from my body in the throes of noisy passion, cannot be worn again." This was accompanied by a wicked smile, since she rather enjoyed the act herself. Jayne mumbled something that might have sounded like an apology, and she giggled.

"Fear not, ape-man," she teased. "I am not averse to the violent actions of procreation. But I must replace rent garments to avoid social calamity, and to appease your need for me to wear appropriate under things when off ship."

"I ain't said nothin'," Jayne sighed, as River led him into the small shop she had chosen.

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Once all four of the crew members were reunited, they headed back to the ship. Mal and Zoe had stocked up for the trip, so once they returned, Jayne was busy unloading the new supplies. He smiled at the memory of the new do-dads River had bought. The store had sold lingerie, and River had selected several items that had his mind racing by the time she was finished modeling.

"Jayne, watch where you're goin'!" Mal yelled, as Jayne almost ran over him.

"Sorry, Mal," Jayne mumbled. "I didn't see ya."

"Best keep your mind off lil Albatross when you're workin'," Mal grumbled. "Hate to wind up mashed on account of it."

"I will," Jayne promised contritely. Mal shook his head again at the change in the merc. River must have hypnotized or something.

"Or something," the little reader sing songed from above him, and Mal jumped at that.

"Ain't you 'sposed to be plottin' us a course to Deadwood?" Mal demanded, trying to cover his discomfiture.

"Already done," she informed him. "Can lift on your order, Captain Daddy."

"Well," Mal nodded. "Fine then. Only don't go distractin' Jayne till he'd done. Can't have him crushin' somebody while he ain't watchin'."

"I will ensure the safety of the crew, my Captain," River smirked, and walked away. Mal shook his head again.

"This ain't no way to run a ship, and that's just the cold hard truth of it."

"Captain?" Mal turned to see. . . .nothing. He looked around the bay, wondering who. . . .

"Down here!" Mal looked down to see one of Trebel's troop standing by his leg. He jumped back.

"Bwaaaa! What are you doin', sneakin' about like that?"

"I wasn't sneaking," the dwarf said sternly. "I walked into the ship fully upright, and not hidden in any way. Trebel asked me to come and find you, and see if you were still willing to help haul some of our equipment. The man he hired hasn't shown yet, and he doesn't wish for you to have to wait on us."

"We can do that," Mal nodded. "Jayne!"

"Yeah, Cap'n?" Jayne appeared from the galley, returning from carrying foodstuffs up the stairs.

"Load up. We gotta go and get their stuff, after all. Man they hired to bring it up ain't come around."

"Okay," Jayne nodded, and moved down the stairs.

"Let's get goin'," Mal ordered. He lifted his com. "Zoe, me and Jayne gotta run back into town, and get the. . .passengers gear. Their truck didn't show. You're in charge, back in a few."

"Got it, sir," Zoe called back. Jayne went to help the little man onto the mule, and he bristled.

"I can do it myself!" he exclaimed, clambering up onto the mule.

"Fine," Jayne muttered, climbing into the front with Mal.

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They were almost loaded, in fact were loaded all but the passengers, when two doors down the street another gang of smaller than average people boiled out onto the street.

"There they are!" one yelled, and Mal was amazed to see them point at him and his mule.

"We should go, Captain," Trebel said calmly, hoisting himself onto the mule, the others following suit on the trailer behind.

"What is all this?" Mal demanded.

"I'll be glad to explain, once we're on the ship, Captain," Trebel replied. "But we really should be going."

"I ain't goin' no where till I find out. . . ." Mal's reply was cut off as a bullet whizzed by his head.

"Okay, we're goin'," Mal said at once. "Jayne, get on."

"What?" Jayne looked at him in amazement.

"Get on!" Mal growled, starting the mule. Jayne clambered aboard, muttering. Mal took off, and soon, the miniature gang fell behind.

"I can't believe we're bein' chased by a buncha midget thieves," Mal grumbled.

"Dwarves, Captain," Trebel said sternly. "Dwarves. And they're not thieves, per se, but rather discontented co-workers."

"Former co-workers, if you please," the little blond woman mid. . .dwarf, said with a snip. "Paltry help at best. Untalented."

"And they're shootin' at us, why?" Mal demanded.

"They think we owe them money," Trebel shrugged. "Seem to think that working for us entitled them to a share in the profits, and the business. It's a very cut-throat business," he added.

"How we doin', Jayne?" Mal asked.

"I'm doin' fine," Jayne snarled. "How you doin', Mal?"

"Are we bein' followed anymore?" Mal demanded, ignoring Jayne's sarcasm.

"Can't tell," Jayne shrugged. "They could be right behind us, and I couldn't see'em over the trailer."

"That kind of crack is uncalled for, sir," the little man that had come to fetch Mal said airily.

"It ain't a crack, it's the truth," Jayne snarled back. "And no, Cap'n, I don't think so. We ain't bein' shot at no more, at any rate."

"Well, that's always good."

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There were ten dwarfs in the party. Six men, and four women. None of them were couples, just co-workers, it turned out. They performed a variety show, and made their living allowing others to laugh at them.

Off stage, however, they had a rather more unpleasant attitude.

"Aw," Kaylee beamed, walking into the bay. "Ain't they cute!"

"We are not pets, miss," Trebel bristled. "And I'll thank you not to refer to us in that manner."

"I didn't mean nothin' by it," Kaylee promised, took aback by the man's attitude. "But ya'll are a good lookin' bunch."

"You're a right doll, yourself, sweetums," one of the others replied, eyeing her up and down. "I'm Fredric, I am. Pleased to meet you." He bowed theatrically. Kaylee giggled.

"I'm Kaylee, the engineer," she smiled at him.

"Inara back, yet?" Mal asked, testily.

"Yes, Cap'n," Kaylee nodded, missing the look that Fredric was giving her body. "Got back a few minutes 'fore you and Jayne did."

"Then let's get off this rock, and into the black," Mal ordered.

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The dwarves took to settling in for the five day trip to Deadwood. The crew were all busy with different tasks, so supper time was the first time that all had been assembled together.

"Folks, these are our passengers for this trip," Mal said, introducing the dwarves leader. "And this is our crew, and our regular passenger, Miss Inara Serra."

"Pleased to meet you," Inara smiled gracefully. Kaylee had warned her about the small passengers, but. . . .

"We're right pleased to meet you, too," the dwarf called Stimson didn't quite leer.

"Now that we all know each other, let's eat," Mal ordered. Zoe had been quiet, since Trebel had still been eyeing her with open interest. She was sorely tempted to squash him, but he was paying, so she managed to curb the urge.

"Hey!" Kaylee jumped, and frowned at Fredric, whose hand had just brushed her rear.

"Sorry," the dwarf smiled, looking anything but sorry.

"Just don't be doin' that," Kaylee warned.

Meanwhile, the little blond female dwarf had managed to sit next to Jayne, and was smiling up at him. River was on Jayne's other side, and was fighting valiantly not to laugh outright at the little woman's attempts to flirt with her very large lover.

"So, big boy," Derenda asked, "how long you been on this tub?"

"Serenity ain't no tub!" Kaylee put in heatedly, and Derenda gave her barely more than a glance. "No offense," she smiled, turning right back to Jayne.

"I been here a while," Jayne said, shifting a little to get away from the dwarf woman.

"Lonely out her, in the black, I bet," Derenda smiled again, and Jayne almost choked. He looked at Mal, who was smirking at his discomfiture.

"He's not alone," River told Derenda sweetly, looking at her across Jayne's front. "He has me."

"I see," Derenda's smile lost some of it's wattage. "Still, man like that, he needs a lot of attention, I imagine," she added.

"He gets all he needs from me," River warned, no longer smiling. Derenda took one look at the violence lurking in River's eyes, and decided that the big man was off limits.

Mal sighed, watching all of this. Long trip ahead.

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Inara returned to her shuttle, stifling a laugh at the shenanigans over supper. She had sat between River and Mal, and had not been involved in the by-play, save for some frank ogling by the male dwarves. And one of the females, she admitted. It had been humorous to see Jayne so. . . .

"Hi, good lookin'," Inara jumped as she heard the voice in her shuttle. She turned to find Stimson sprawled across her bed. Naked.

"What are you doing in here?" Inara demanded, angry. "Get out!"

"I don't think you mean that," Stimson smiled. "Haven't you ever wondered about. . . ."

"OUT!" Inara shouted.

"Well, I just wanted to. . ." Stimson provided graphic details that left even Inara blushing.

"I am not doing that with you!" Inara almost screamed in fury. "Get out!" Her screaming had alerted Mal, and he was there in a second.

"Inara? What's. . . ." He broke off, seeing Stimson laying across Inara's bed.

"What are you doing in here?" Mal demanded.

"She invited me," Stimson smiled. "At dinner."

"I did not!" Inara was beyond wrath, now, and picked up the first thing handy, a wooden dowel rod in this case, and advanced on the cocky little. . . .

"Whoa, now!" Stimson jumped to his feet, and grabbed his clothes. "You didn't mention anything kinky, sweetums. I'm not into that sorta thing. I thought you just wanted the straight goods, or I . . . ."

"OUT!" Inara screamed in rage, and Stimson ran for the door. Mal couldn't stop the laugh that boiled out, and Inara turned on him.

"What about this do you find so funny?" Inara asked, her voice deceptively mild.

"Apart from him thinking that a woman like you would ask him into her boudoir?" Mal chuckled. "The fact that I don't think I've ever seen you as anything but composed, Inara. I kinda like that streak o' fire, to be honest." Inara's anger softened a bit at that.

"I would never. . . ."

"I know that, Inara," Mal assured her. "They're all like that. I'll make sure no one does it again. I didn't think on it, or I would have already."

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Inara's encounter would not be the last in the days ahead.

Kaylee was working in the engine room when she once again felt a hand brush her bottom. She smiled, thinking it was Simon, and stood, turning.

To nothing.

Hiya, cutie," Fredric said, three feet down, and Kaylee screeched, jumping away from her.

"What are you doin' here?" she demanded. "And I told you to watch them hands, buster," she bristled.

"Aww, come on, now," Fredric smiled, advancing toward her. "I just needed to ask you for something."

"What?" Kaylee demanded, eyeing the dwarf suspiciously.

"Engine grease," he smiled disarmingly. "Just a little, really. No more'n a handful should be enough."

"Whatcha need engine grease for?" Kaylee asked, not sure she wanted to know.

"Lean down, and I'll tell you," Fredric promised. "It's a secret." Kaylee hesitated, but slowly leaned down. Fredric whispered in her ear, and Kaylee's face went beet red.

"You cannot use engine grease for that!" Kaylee exclaimed.

"Wanna bet?" Fredric leered. "I'll show ya how."

Mal managed to grab Kaylee as she ran into the galley, chasing Fredric with a spanner. A large spanner. And cursing with words he didn't even know she knew.

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Jayne descended into his bunk, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep. He and River didn't share a bunk, at least not on a permanent basis. They moved back ond forth between his and hers. Mal had grumbled more than once that they should just move in together, so he'd know where to find them when he needed them.

Jayne wouldn't mind that, but he thought that River needed her own space, at least for a while. She had beamed at him when he mentioned it, and hugged him tightly, making him glad he. . . .

"What in the ruttin' blazes o' hell are you doin' in my bunk!" Jayne demanded, seeing Derenda lying on his bed, holding Vera.

"Get you hands offa her!" Jayne bellowed, snatching Vera away from the dwarf woman.

"Easy, lover," Derenda smiled. "I was just gettin' acquainted."

"What?" Jayne looked at her.

"Well, see, since you weren't here, and I didn't want to wait, I. . . ." Jayne's face grew a look of horror as she went into detail.

"You put my gun where?" Jayne looked horrified, holding Vera by the strap.

"Oh, come on now," Derenda sat up, butt naked in Jayne's bunk. "It's just a gun."

"Just a gun?!?" Jayne bellowed again at this ultimate sacrilege. "I. . .I gotta. . ." He fled up the ladder, taking his precious Vera with him. River was in the passageway, having heard him yell.

"What's wrong, Jayne?" River asked, feeling his alarm.

"That. . .that. . .I gotta. . .she. . ." Jayne stammered, pointing to his bunk.

"Go do whatever it is you have to do," River soothed, having read the problem from his troubled mind. Jayne nodded in gratitude, and ran off. River frowned, and descended into Jayne's bunk.

"Ran to get his other little woman, did he?" Derenda snarled, gathering her clothes.

"No," River smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "I came to tell you there are penalties for trespassing."

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Simon looked up in alarm as Jayne ran into the infirmary.

"Doc, I need something. . .some kinda. . .anti-septis, or whatever."

"Anti-septic?" Simon provided helpfully.

"That too," Jayne nodded frantically. "Quick!"

"Jayne what's wrong?" Simon asked, reaching for a box of antiseptic wipes.

"That little midget whore, she. . .she. . .she violated Vera!" Jayne finally managed to say, grabbing the wipes, and commencing to clean his favorite gun.

"What? Violated?" Simon was intrigued now.

"She. . .I can't say it, Doc," Jayne shook his head. "It's too awful."

"I'm a doctor, Jayne," Simon said seriously. "I won't violate your confidence." Jayne eyed him for a moment, then leaned over and whispered in Simon's ear.

Simon was still laughing when he heard Kaylee screeching in loud Mandarin at the top of the stairs. He left Jayne still wiping frantically at Vera, soothing the gun all the while, as if it were a person.

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Zoe was heading for the galley when she spied Trebel heading her way. He wasn't quite leering, and Zoe almost snapped.

"You touch me, I'll stomp you flat," she warned, and smirked when the look on his face faded.

"I'm looking for Derenda," he said with as much dignity as he could muster. "Have you seen her?"

"And hope not to," Zoe growled, resuming her walk into the galley. She made it three steps before she felt Trebel's hand pinching her backside.

And the chase was on.

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Mal had had enough. He stalked over to the com, and hit the ship wide.

"I want everyone on this ship in the galley right now!" he yelled, and forced Kaylee into a chair.

"What possessed you to chase that little feller with that big spanner, Kaylee?"

"He. . .he. . ." Kaylee lunged toward the sneering dwarf again, and Mal only just managed to keep her from beaning the little man on the head with the spanner.

"I get the picture, Kaylee," Mal nodded, turning to Fredric.

"Got anything to say for yourself, 'fore I space ya?" Mal asked. Fredric lost his smug look at once.

"What?"

"I don't cotton to no one layin' hands on a woman, 'thout an invite. And on my ship, doin' such is a one way ticket out the airlock, no matter where we are at the time. Let's go." Mal moved toward the dwarf.

"Wait!" Fredric held up a hand. "I wasn't. . .I didn't know! It was all in good fun, Captain!"

"You see Kaylee laughing?" Mal demanded. Fredric glanced at the still huffing engineer.

"No," he replied.

"Sit," Mal pointed to a chair, and the dwarf wisely sat. Just then, Trebel came running into the galley.

"Help, help!" he cried, running under the table. Mal was shocked to see Zoe running behind him, gun in hand.

"Move outta the way, sir," she ordered, levering a round into the carbine. "He's a small target. I might miss."

"Zoe?" Mal looked at his first mate. "What in blazes is goin' on, here?"

"He pinched me," Zoe glowered. "After I warned him I'm stomp him flat. I'm gonna kill 'im."

"Now, Zoe, let's not be shootin' on the ship," Mal tried to calm his first mate. "Surely we can work this out so that no one dies, we get paid, and we don't damage the ship," he stressed. Zoe eased a bit, but was still clearly furious.

"Five minutes," was all she said, and sat heavily next to Kaylee, who glared up at Mal.

"What she said," the engineer nodded.

"Mamma never said there'd be days like these," Mal muttered, shaking his head.

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Mal looked at the assembled people around the table. River wasn't present, since she was at the helm. He noticed one of the dwarf women was absent, but didn't dwell on it.

"Trebel, I don't know how you folks are accustomed to actin' on the ground," Mal told her dwarf leader. "But the antics you've been up to so far, are done. Next one o' ya lays a hand on any woman on this ship. . ."

"Or gun!" Jayne added, still traumatized by what had happened to Vera.

"Or gun," Mal nodded, "goes out the air lock. Dong ma?"

"That's no way to treat guests, Captain," Trebel replied, sniffing in disdain. "I daresay, if we weren't dwarves, you wouldn't have the gall to. . . ."

"You bein' pint sized is all that's keepin' you from suckin' vacuum, Trebel," Mal said flatly, and Trebel's attitude changed a bit. "I ain't one to care what folks is like, in appearance. Longs they act proper. And you all ain't actin' proper, some o' ya, anyways. See to it that it don't happen again, or the guilty party goes swimmin' in the black. You think I'm playin', let it happen again."

"And since you're in charge o' this midget menagerie, you go, no matter who does the offendin'. Got that?" Trebel swallowed nervously, and nodded.

"Not, let's not have any more unpleasantness."

-----------------

The remainder of the trip was smooth enough, with one exception.

"I can't find Derenda anywhere," Trebel told Mal. "She's been missing since last evening."

"Well she can't have gone too far, it's not that big a ship," Mal told him. "We'll start looking, and find her."

But they didn't find her. After looking for over two hours, Mal was stumped.

"Even someone her size can't hide just anywhere," he muttered to himself. Then he caught a look at River's serene face.

"Albatross," Mal said warily. "What have you done?" River was the picture of innocence.

"Me? Captain Daddy?" River said, eyes wide. "Would I do something?"

"Before a fly could bite," Mal nodded. "Where is she?"

"She's contemplating her transgressions," River said flatly, no longer pretending.

"What's that mean, exactly."

"She was trespassing," River told him. "Can't have that. Insulting to me."

"River, you didn't. . . ."

"Of course not," River rolled her eyes. "If I had killed her, there would be no need for the lesson. She is, or at least was, alive and well."

"Take me to her," Mal ordered. River smiled, and walked perhaps ten feet, opening a smuggling compartment that Mal hadn't even know existed.

Inside lay a very angry Derenda, bound and gagged, hands and feet pulled together so that she was trapped in a painful arch, and couldn't move an inch.

She was also still naked as the day she was born. He clothes were in the compartment with her.

"Was that necessary?" Mal asked, trying not to laugh.

"My first thought was to take her head," River reminded him. Mal nodded.

"Tell Trebel," Mal ordered. "We'll let them see to this."

---------------

"This is an outrage!" Trebel was shouting as he and Mal and most of the crew were gathered around the table. "I insist that some action be taken!"

"Albatross?" Mal said, and River held out her hand. Mal smacked it slightly.

"Don't ever do that again," Mal warned. "Not without tellin' the rest of us."

"Yes, Captain Daddy," River said sorrowfully, then snuggled back into Jayne's embrace.

"There!" Mal smiled. "Action taken."

"This is ludicrous!" Trebel exclaimed.

"Consider that my first thought. . . ."

"Tross," Mal cut her off. "He don't rightly need to know that. Trebel, you're lucky, as it is. Don't push that luck. We'll be landing on Deadwood in three hours. 'Spect payment 'fore we hit atmo, and you all to be ready to get off my boat the minute the ramp comes down."

---------------

The crew watched as the dwarf troop left the boat, carrying their own things. Mal and Jayne would help them into town, but had refused to load for them. Finally, the two men mounted the mule, with all of the dwarves in back, and headed into town.

"Captain," Trebel said, as the dwarves unloaded their gear. "I'm very glad to have made your acquaintance. We did behave badly, I'm afraid, though we're not always this way. We wanted to see if we could trust you. And we can." Trebel handed over a small bag.

"This is a bonus for putting up with us. We may well call on you again."

"Pleasure doin' business with you," Mal lied, pocketing the money. "Well, we gotta be headin' out. You folks take care."

"We'll come by and see you, before you go," Trebel smiled, and Mal managed to hide his shudder.

"You know where to find us," he said instead, and pulled away.

Once out of their sight, Mal pulled a com out of his pocket.

"'Tross, we're on the way back. Where, exactly, did you hide the ship. They wanna visit 'fore we leave."

"Engines are hot, we're ready to run. Leave, I mean," River's voice came back.

"Let's get the hell outta here," Jayne told Mal.

"We are in complete agreement on that," Mal nodded, and floored the mule.

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Okay, as I may have mentioned, I never did this sorta thing before, so I may well suck at it. I chose to write this story using all the quote prompts in one story, so it's a little long. I'll try and do something else if you don't like it, or this wasn't the right way to go about it.

Hope you like it, even if it's not the right way to do it:)