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By: Lifehouse

How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface

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Written by: Lourdes, a.k.a. I Fancy Hugh Dancy

Rating: T-MA: heavy swearing, adult content.

Genre: Romance/Humour/Angst/Drama

Summary: She was the lover that Connor could never have. When he travels halfway across the world to see her again, will he be able to change that? Or will fate not be in their favour? Connor/OC.

Disclaimer: This story is pure fanfiction. I do not own the Saints. I own Lourdes and other characters unidentifiable from the film.

Author's Note: I missed writing Connor/OCs so I thought I'd give it another go. This idea wouldn't leave me the hell alone! I'm not really sure where this fic will go since I haven't planned out the plot like I usually do, but I guess I'll let my heart and my readers guide me on this one.

You can call it a "sequel" to "Path To Sainthood", but I'll just say that it'll be loosely based on it since I won't be following some of the storylines that I've established there. This story can be read on its own, but "Path To Sainthood" will give you some background on the characters and their current relationships with the MacManuses. This fic will be Connor-centric and of course, Connor/OC heavy, so all of that crime stuff last fic will probably not play that big of a role in this one.

Also, I have this really bad habit of starting stories and not finishing them, so I apologize in advance. I'll try to make this shorter than my other fics so it won't be as cumbersome to read. I am mostly concentrating on my Murphy/OC fics at the moment, but I'll keep writing this if you guys want me to!

Check out my other BDS fics:

- "Diapers, Pacifiers and Milk, Oh My!"

- "Even In Heaven"

- "Even In Heaven II: Saints' Scourge"

- "Path To Sainthood"

- "Into the Dark"

- "Till Death Do Us Part"

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Chapter 1: Home Sweet Home

"Con, are we gonna sit 'ere in the car all day or are we actually gonna go inside?" Murphy MacManus wrinkled his nose in utter distaste, wholly impatient of his twin's sudden inactivity. Shoving Connor's shoulder in order to wake him from a reverie, the dark-haired MacManus twin barked, "Look, ye dick, the cake is fuckin' meltin' on me seats! These are brand new leather seats, ya know!" He lengthened the vowels as he emphasized the words, "Brand. Spankin'. New!"

With a snarl, Connor merely pushed his open palm upon Murphy's advancing face, keeping his twin brother at bay. Muffling the sounds of Murphy's protests, Connor replied simply. "Just gimme a few more fuckin' minutes. We haven't been in this goddamn city for more than an hour, so forgive me if I'm experiencin' a lil culture shock 'ere."

Finally managing to pry his brother's hand away from his face, Murphy irritably wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "…Pansy."

Connor had been out of character as of late, seemingly moping – something Murphy had only seen his brother do when they were younger – all throughout their journey back home to Dublin. His moods altered frequently: he was snappy, somberly quiet, and wholly distracted. Though, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the root of Connor's current behaviour.

Ever since Lourdes Villamor, a Special Agent in the An Garda Síochána, or, Ireland's National Police Service, and her team of agents had left Boston almost a year ago, Connor hadn't been quite the same. The Saints, the Boston Police Department, and the Garda Agents had worked together on an IRA/Unionist case. But, with some dangerous and, for Connor and Lourdes, unfortunate turn of events, the Agents were recalled back to Ireland for their own protection. With the danger of their situations, coupled with the way that they had parted, Connor and Lourdes had not been able to contact one another ever since.

Murphy constantly worried about his brother's state, not knowing exactly just how deep his relationship had been with Lourdes nor how much her leaving had affected him. But if that parting affected Connor this much, almost a year after it had happened, then Murphy knew that this was something serious. So, when their Ma called out of the blue to invite them to Dublin for a family reunion, Murphy wasn't the least bit surprised that Connor was the first to jump at the chance. Without Connor having to tell him so, Murphy knew that Connor held onto the hope that he would somehow, somewhere, see Lourdes once more.

Murphy couldn't stand the silence that currently passed between him and his brother. In fact, Murphy entirely despised awkward silences – which was probably the reason why everyone had a hard time shutting him up most of the time. Letting out a low whistle, he threw Connor an inquisitive look as he commented, "You must really love this lass, huh?"

Connor's back instantly straightened at this unexpected question. Bright blue eyes darting to his brother's form, he wasn't surprised that he immediately knew who his brother was speaking of. Taking a long drag of his cigarette and leaning his arm out of the open car window, Connor replied calmly, "What makes ye say that?"

"Well, ye travelled halfway across the fuckin' world ta try an' see her again." Murphy poked good-naturedly with a shrug. "An' managed ta drag me along fer the fuckin' ride!"

Connor playfully punched at the side of Murphy's arm, much to the glee of his twin. "Oi, ye came here on yer own free will, so don't even fuckin' start." Straightening his tweed coat and eyeing himself in the rearview mirror, Connor lightly pointed out, "We came 'ere ta see Ma, Da and the rest o' the family, remember?"

Repeatedly flicking at Connor's ear, Murphy nodded enthusiastically, "Aye, I thought ye were the one who forgot!" Pushing the door open and cheerfully hopping outside, he called through the window, "Ready ta go reunite with the family?"

"Aye. Let's go." Then, Connor finished as an afterthought as he looked back into the car, "We'll buy a new cake in a bit." He winced at the right melted mess on Murphy's brand new leather seats. "And this time, it won't be ice cream."

In synchronized motion, the twins marched down the gravel path towards their front door. With every matching step, they identically hopped upon the front porch, with Connor automatically ringing the doorbell and Murphy knocking on the wooden door frame. Hearing muffled, raised voices within, the twins shared a confused look, then turned their attentions back towards the closed door. With a nod of understanding, they simultaneously used their shoulders to burst into the home, smashing open the already unlocked door. Eyes freely scanning the room to see if anything was amiss, they spotted two familiar figures not too far from where they stood. It was their Ma and Da, seemingly in the middle of a regular argument.

Da MacManus groaned exasperatedly as he threw his head back, eyes towards the ceiling as though asking for divine intervention. "Annabelle, how many times do I have ta feckin' tell ye that I didn't break the feckin' air conditioner?"

"A likely story." Ma MacManus narrowed her eyes in utter suspicion, menacingly holding a spoon to her husband's pointed nose. "So how do ye explain it not workin' after ye came back from Boston, huh? Are ye gonna blame the feckin' tooth fairy again?"

At this point, Connor and Murphy shared a knowing, identical look. They literally couldn't count how many times they've seen their parents bickering and bantering like this; it was definitely where they received the traits in order to do so. Even after a minute had gone by, neither Da nor Ma even realized that their boys had entered the house and were quietly observing them. Taking their bickering to the kitchen, the twins slightly followed, interests now piqued as to how this "air conditioner argument" was going to end.

What happened next, neither of the MacManus boys ever thought would transpire.

Abruptly stopping their shouts and screams, Ma and Da locked eyes, as though trapped in a standstill. Then, without a word passing between them, Da hastily took Ma in his arms as she roughly wrapped her arms around his neck. Kissing each other passionately, they knocked off appliances right and left in their haste to stumble into Ma's adjacent bedroom.

Blinking repeatedly in sheer bewilderment, Connor's mouth dropped open so widely that it was a wonder that he didn't make a hole upon the tiled floor below. Slightly doubling over, Murphy placed a hand over his mouth, cheeks as large as a blow fish's. He weakly croaked as he grabbed Connor's shoulder, "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Murphy's snide remark didn't go unnoticed, however. Finally realizing that they were no longer alone in the home, Ma and Da slowly released each other, beaming at the sight of their boys. "Well, if it isn't the terrible twosome, back in the motherland!" Ma MacManus cheerfully cooed, clasping her hands together as she glided towards her boys. Seeing the disgusted expressions still emanating from both of their faces as a result of her semi-public display of affection, she chided, "Oi, how do ye think ye boys were ever conceived?"

"Immaculate conception," Connor mockingly muttered under his breath as he kissed Ma's forehead.

Murphy laughed gleefully at this quip, though it wasn't long before he received a stern slap on the back of the head from his annoyed mother. "Ow. That hurt." Wrinkling his face, he rubbed the pain away with the back of his hand before walking towards his father.

Ma rolled her eyes, and then turned her attention wholly to Connor. She threw him a kind smile. "I hope ye don't mind that I've invited more company. I mean, seein' as the four MacManuses are usually never tagether like this, I thought the rest o' the family would like ta see all o' us tonight."

Embracing his mother tightly, Connor gave a conceding nod. "It's yer house, Ma. Ye can do whatever ye want." Sharing a smile with her, Connor finished with the utmost sincerity, "I'm just glad ta see ye again. It's been way too long, Ma."

"Hellooo, anyone home?" A sing-song like call then came from the front doorway, catching both of their attentions.

"That's yer Aunt Deirdre Flannagan!" Ma beamed, patting Connor on the back in order to usher him towards the front door once more. "I'd recognize that voice from anywhere! Come, come, ye have ta say hi. She hasn't seen ye in years!"

Connor smiled at the glee that emanated from his mother. He was so genuinely happy to see her again after so many years. Smiling as he recognized his dear old Aunt Deirdre, he immediately embraced her, saying, "How have ye been, Auntie Dierdre? It's really been ages, hasn't it?"

"Oh me dear Lord! Is that lil Connor?" She placed her hand dramatically upon her full mouth, nudging Ma in the process. "What a looker yer son turned out ta be, eh, Annabelle?" Playfully pinching Connor's cheeks, much to his surprise, she cooed, "All the ladies must be comin' after ye day and night, aren't they, Conny?"

Before Connor could reply, another voice sounded behind them:

"Holy shite, if it isn't Connor MacManus!"

Attention being diverted from his aunt to his younger cousin, Connor returned with, "Sean Fergus Flannagan. After the whole runnin' off from Boston last year, I thought that I'd never fuckin' see ye again!" Upon the sight of Sean, Connor tried to push to the back of his mind the memory of how exactly he had last seen him: kissing Lourdes at McGuinty's. The sight had literally made Connor's heart constrict, and had almost forced him to make the biggest mistake of sleeping with his ex-girlfriend, Aileen. Though, fighting to place the past behind them and cater to the mantra "Blood is thicker than water", Connor shared a hearty embrace with the equally dashing Irishman, finding himself genuinely fond of seeing his cousin-turned-Federal-Agent once more.

Though, the next face that walked through the MacManus door literally made Connor's heart stop. Face ashen as he attempted to swallow the lump in his throat, he could only stare back at Murphy, who threw him a wide-eyed look, then dart his eyes back to the form standing in between the threshold of his former home.

"Everyone," Sean sheepishly cleared his throat as all eyes fixated upon the woman standing beside him. "I'd like you all to meet fiancée."

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A/N: In this fic, Mrs. Flannagan is the other lady with Ma in the deleted scene 'Ma Calls From Ireland'.

So, what did you all think about that? Is your interest piqued with this Connor/OC? Should I continue? xx IFHD