Space pie

"Mrs. Lovett, what's wrong with this pie?" Sweeney Todd asked suspiciously.

The baker sighed deeply. Finally she had persuaded the demon barber to eat something at last. She had baked him a nice, normal pie, and there he was, complaining about to food.

"There's nothing wrong with it love," she said, trying not to show her annoyance. "It's a perfectly normal pie."

"Then why don't you eat from it too?"

"Because I already had dinner. I didn't expect to persuade you to eat something, to be honest," she said.

"And you thank me for this by poisoning me?"

"Mr. T, what's this for nonsense? There's nothing wrong with that pie!"

"Then why don't you eat it?"

"Because I made it for YOU. You need some food dear, before you'll starve."

Reluctantly he ate the last part of this pie, just so she would stop nagging. He gave her an odd look while doing so, like he still didn't trust it.

When he had finally eaten the pie, he emptied the bottle of gin she had given him in one gulp. After that, he kept sitting in the chair, the alcohol in his system making him lazy. He stared at the bottom of the bottle, just so he wouldn't have to look at Mrs. Lovett, who would certainly bother him with all her questions and cheerfulness.

"Mr. T, what are you staring at? It's empty, but you look like there's a goldfish in it!"

O god, she just couldn't stop it. Goldfish – completely ridiculous.

"Of course, Mrs. Lovett, of course."

If she made useless remarks, she'd get useless answers in reply.

She sighed once more because of the way he reacted to her, and then continued reading in her book, deciding that the demon barber simply had no common sense.

"Mrs. Lovett?"

"Yes?"

"Why is the wall purple?"

"Excuse me?!"

She looked at him in shock, wondering what the man was talking about. The walls were brown, like they had always been.

"The walls aren't purple, Mr. T. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm alright!" he said fiercely, but his voice sounded different than usual. "But there's something wrong with the walls, I tell you! They're turning green!"

"Mr. T! Are you completely insane?!"

He stared at the walls, but not with the blank look he usually eyed things: his eyeballs followed the walls like they were actually moving.

Mrs. Lovett started to wonder if she hadn't poisoned him after all. Accidentally there could have been something wrong with the herbs…

"Mrs. Lovett!!"

Before she could even look around to see what was wrong, he pulled her into the kitchen.

"What is it this time?" she cried.

"Hush, silly woman!" he whispered. "I saw them, in your living room!"

"WHO did you see?"

"They had two heads, and they were looking for you," he whispered in her ear. "You have to hide!"

Mrs. Lovett was to bewildered and shocked to think properly. There certainly was something very wrong with the man. Had he gone mad after all, or was it a temporarily problem, because of her pie?

"Mr. T, I…"

"They're coming this way!" he said, his eyes wide. "There are seven of them now!"

Mrs. Lovett dared to look at the things in her living room, just to make sure there wasn't actually someone or something; but of course, everything was how it was supposed to be, including the color of the walls.

"We have to run!" he mumbled.

He dragged her into her bedroom and shut the door carefully before he pulled her into the corner that was most removed from the door. It was next to a window, and he used the curtain that was in front of it to hide themselves. Their legs where still visible, but Sweeney didn't seem to realize.

The entire situation was bizarre, even in Mrs. Lovett's opinion, and she had seen quite some absurd things during the years, but this certainly was a very special case. Mr. Todd seemed to have lost his mind completely, but as long as he didn't hallucinate too much, she didn't care, since she was aware of the fact how close he was to her. They were pressed against each other in the corner, and she could feel the heat radiating from his body. When he scanned the room with his dark eyes, she enjoyed the closeness to him.

Despite the situation she smiled against his chest. It probably was very wrong, but now she finally had this opportunity, she wanted to take it – he would never accept this in his normal state, so now he was influenced by god only knew what, she had to get her change.

"Mr. T," she whispered, "there's one looking to this room. Would they be able to see us? I mean, with those huge eyes of his…"

"Yes, I see him too," he whispered in her hair, as if he could prevent the 'thing' from hearing him this way.

He wrapped his arms around her and puller her closer into the shadows of the corner, so they were almost invisible.

Mrs. Lovett's heart beat rapidly, but of course not because of the things Mr. Todd seemed to see. She leant against him, her head resting on his shoulder, and inhaled his smell. She couldn't remember ever feeling so comfortable and happy – if only Sweeney Todd wouldn't suffer too much from the pie.

"Is he gone?" he asked after a while, but Mrs. Lovett was too caught up in his presence to answer.

They just stood there. Maybe for minutes, maybe for hours, Mrs. Lovett couldn't tell. It was like heaven, being so close to the man she loved, despite the situation.

"Mrs. Lovett?" he finally said. "Why are we here?"

She looked up at him, not knowing what exactly he remembered from the previous hour.

"Are they gone?" she asked in return, trying to find out.

"Who are you talking about?!" he asked, like she was mad.

"No one, love," she replied. "I was just…"

Reluctantly she removed herself from her embrace, not knowing what to say.

"My head aches terribly," he complained before she could continue talking. "And I feel weird."

"I think it's better if you take some rest," she said, hoping that the influences of whatever it was would fade if he slept, and she would have the time to investigate the remains of the pie.

To her surprise he allowed her to guide him toward her bed, where he laid down and closed his eyes the moment his head touched the pillow.

Mrs. Lovett watched the barber, her heart filled with love at the sight of his finally relaxing face, and hearing his steady breath. She could stand there forever, just watching him sleep, but she needed to find out what was wrong with that pie, and perhaps call a doctor before it was too late.


Sweeney opened his eyes the moment she left the room. It wasn't hard for him at all to behave 'normal' again.

He smiled wickedly when he imagined Mrs. Lovett trying to think of what had been in that pie, as if the ingredients had anything to do with his behaviour. How easy it was to fool that woman. Not that he cared.

He had had to make a fool of himself, but with a little bit of acting, he had gotten what he wanted from her. A moment of oblivion, nothing more. No commitment, no promises. No love, not even a kiss. She would never be his Lucy, never, but her warmth had been enough to make him forget about the miserable past, just for a few minutes, but it was enough – for now. Maybe, just every once and a while… If she finally shut up, her presence was quite enjoyable after all.