Warning!! this is the end of the road for this fic. May seem...anti climatic but here it is,...time to see if fuffy makes it.
So that was bout a year and a half ago. Me and B stayed friends. Yesterday. Just yesterday we found out I was a spell gone wrong. Spike didn't want me and B together so he did a spell to make her love him but instead it rekindled her feelings for her first love. As soon as he started reversin it I made my way home to my girlfriend. Don't look surprised. It was a year and a half. Did you really expect me to stay where I was and not move on while she found happiness? Didn't think so. Anyway I walk into the front door of our apartment we've been sharing for about three weeks.
"Baby?" I call out. She yells back from our bedroom.
"Back here!" I make my way back to my beautiful girlfriend. I thought I couldn't care after B. that I'd never see anybody else as beautiful. I was wrong.
"Somethin happened at the meetin today." I say casually.
"Really? What? Black or red?" she asks holding up two shirts.
"Found out that the only reason B was with Fang is cus Spike messed up a spell. Black." I say. She nods.
"Oh?" she asks finally catchin the first part of what I said.
"Yeah. Spike's reversin it now. I'm gonna go back to the hotel in half an hour. See if she's 5x5." I say. She's silent for a minute before noddin. Seems distracted. Don't blame her. We've been together for bout 9 months and hearin news my first love is gonna be her normal self again must be shockin.
"Oka-" she's cut off by someone knockin on the door. "Just a sec." she says walkin outta our room. I hear murmuring then she comes back in with Buffy right behind her.
"Sup B?" I ask. She smiles at me and bites her bottom lip.
"The reversal worked." is all she says. So?
"Wicked cool." I say tryin to figure out why she's here and how it happened so fast.
"Can I talk to you alone for a moment?" she asks. I look to my counterpart and she gives a nod of approval. Well not approval cus I'm a grown ass woman but a nod lettin me know she won't interfere. I stand up and walk outta the room onto the balcony followed closely by B.
"So..." I start trailin off.
"I remember. Well I never really forgot how much I loved you but I feel it. Faith I'm sorry about before." she says. Hmm.
"S'all 5x5 B. Not like it was intentional or nothin. Can't hold emotions against you or nothin like that." I say. Honestly I can't.
"Faith I know... I know this maybe out of line or bad timing but I want us back. I want there to be an us." did she really just? The words I was prayin for for almost a year? Fuckin right its bad timing!
"B I- look Buffy I don't know...Fuck! I just... I gotta go." I say leaving before she can say anything else. I still love her. I probably always will. But do I wanna risk what I have? Am I still in love with her? Yes. But I'm in love with Cordelia too. I mean we fuckin live together. But I haven't told her I love her yet. Does that make it any less real. She hasn't said it yet either but I know she feels it. I remember the first time she asked me out:
I was sittin at Angel's desk pretendin I was workin. I did that from time to time. Mostly when I was off and bored. Cordelia burst into his office expecting him.
"Alright Angel. If you and th- oh hey Faith." she said suddenly nervous. I looked up like a dear caught in headlights. I mean here I am actin like a four year old pretendin to own the company her dad owns and she catches me. I'm worried about my image!
"Hey Queen C." I said clearin my throat. She gave me a small smile.
"Have you uh- have you seen Angel?" she asked lookin away. I had noticed she acted different around me but never thought nothin of it.
"Yeah. Went shoppin for baby clothes with B. Left me to hold down the fort. I'm just hidin from the actual work. Somethin I can help ya with though?" I asked. She shook her head.
"No I was just going to ask him for some advice." she said. I was intrigued.
"Maybe I could help. Shoot." I said motionin for her to cop a squat in the chair across from me. She sat down.
"Well there's someone I like and I was thinking of asking them out since Brendan will be with Wesley this weekend. But I don't know how to approach them." she said. I thought for a minute.
"Well what do they like?" I asked. I was really askin for information so I could figure it out but I was also wantin to help out my friend.
"A little of everything." she said with one of those fond smile things. I sighed. She wasn't being very helpful to my snoopin ya know.
"Well alls I can say is find a club or restaurant or hell both to their likin and take the direct approach." I said. I wasn't gonna snoop too much cus if she wanted me to know she'd tell me. She nodded and was quiet for a minute.
"Direct approach? As in just asking them straight out?" she asked I nodded. She got quiet again. "Faith would you like to go out with me Saturday night?" she asked. I was like...well shocked. But I saw no reason not too. I needed to move on anyway. I thought. Did I have any plans? Nope.
"Sure." I said with a smile. She smiled back and that was that.
That was so many months ago. But I mean didn't take long for me to realize that I wanted to like really pursue a relationship with her. I mean she was one of my best friends. She knew me like the back of her hand and vice versa. But then there's B. The girl I've loved since I was a teenager. You know our story. But do I still want her. Do I want to be with her and Ashley? Ashley's her daughter. Buffy was my girl, my world, my love, the love. But is she the past? No. who am I kiddin. I'll never really be over her. I sit here in this car outside the Lehane mansion for about three hours thinkin. I finally come to a decision. I know what I'm gonna do. I know where my heart is.
I know I dropped a bombshell on Faith earlier but I was serious. When Spike did the reversal everything I felt for her came flooding back. I still love her. I'm still in love with her. Faith was THAT love. The one everybody thinks Angel is. The one I'll never forget no matter what and that'll never be matched. I know the feeling goes both ways. That's why I have confidence we'll be together. I actually feel sorry for Cordelia. I know she love's Faith but I also know that she wants her happy. No matter what. Shortly after Faith left out she came looking for her. I told her and she just gave me a sad nod and went back to their bedroom. I heard her sniffling and I think she was packing her stuff. She hasn't come back out yet and that was over two hours ago. I look up when the door opens and I see Faith. She gives me a look. I guess she's wondering why I'm still here.
"Fai-" I'm cut off when she kisses me. But I- what the hell?! I don't feel anything from it. I know I love her. I still love her.! I'll always love her.
"I'm sorry B." she whispers. There are tears in my eyes because I know. I know there isn't going to be an us. I wanted there to be. But it won't happen. I didn't feel anything from that kiss. Not like I've felt when Angel kisses me. Maybe I am still in love with him. "I don't feel nothin and I know you don't either. But...I'll always love ya. Hell I'll even be your bridesmaid or whatever at your wedding when it comes." she whispers kneeling in front of me.
"I feel the same way Faith. I'll always love you. Maybe we just.." I trail off.
"Maybe next lifetime." she says. I nod and offer her a smile. I get up to leave. I turn to her and she winks. "G'won git! I'll see you tomorrow for Brendan's birthday party." she says.
"See ya." I say smiling. At least we'll always be friends.
B just doesn't have my heart no more. I could tell when I kissed her we'd both moved on. Even without noticin. I gotta say it was unfair on her part though. She didn't have a choice. But we'll always be friends. I walk back to me and Cordy's bedroom and see she's got her stuff packed.
"Uh babe? Did I miss somethin?" I ask lookin around.
"Buffy told me. She told me she wanted to give you guys another shot." she says. oh. I get it.
"She did?" I ask. She nods.
"Its ok Faith. I understand. I was a fill in and I can live wi-" I cut her off.
"Cor you could never be Buffy." I say. She looks a little agitated and even more hurt.
"I know! Faith I know! I can never be her! I know yo-" I stop her.
"You say it like its a bad thing." I say sittin on the bed. She scoffs.
"It is! She's had your heart since the beginning and I always knew that I'd never be able to compete." she says softly.
"S'not a bad thing. I'm glad you're not Buffy. I like you bein Cordelia way too much." I say.
"Faith this isn't a time to joke around. Brendan and I will move ou-" I gotta stop this. She aint leavin me.
"No ya won't. Look Cordelia I'm not playin here. You're not Buffy and that's why I love you. I don't want a replica and I don't want the real thing. I want you. We've got somethin good here I don't wanna give up. I want you to stop doin shit Buffy would do for me. Stop tryin to baby me like she would. You think I wouldn't notice you're attitude change? I did and I don't like it. I love Cordelia Chase not Buffy or Buffy junior." I say. She looks a little shocked. Yeah I noticed the way she was subtly tryin to me more... buffyish. I hate it.
"I just wanted...i wanted to make you happy." she says.
"How would that make me happy?" I ask softly kneelin down in fron'a her. She sighs.
"I thought that if I changed m-" I stop that sentence shakin my head.
"Your not a season." she looks lost. "Seasons change people don't." I say.
"What is that supposed to mean? I've changed a lot over the years!" she says. Again I shake my head.
"No you haven't. You've matured but that isn't the same as changin. Nobody changes cus in the end? At the end of the day? They're still who they've always been inside. Like you're still the sexy, beautiful, boss mommy named Cordelia that's always been in there waitin to come out. I love you." I say. She smiles.
"I love you too." she says. Right now. In this moment I know that everything in my life that lead me here; my childhood, kakistos, sunnydale, la, B, life? It was all worth it to finally be happy.
So there it is. The end of yet another story by kool-aid. Hope you liked it and I know a few people will be disappointed cus of the pairing or the fact that I didn't develop them much but who knows, there may be a sequel...review please.