Here's a Quick rundown on the Characters.
Kai, as he always is.
Popuri, we call her Poppy, or Pops.
This is the first piece in a fourshot i'm doing. The coupling in this pair is Rosemary and Kai. I've been a bit on the dramatic side, so, pelase forgive me. Thanks to Ashly, Danae, and Hazel. This is for that one person who isn't supposed to like me.
Jealousy- The Green Of Envy
Every time she smiles at him, my heart dies just a little.
From that little arch of her eyebrows when she grins, and her rosy red cheeks, when she looks at him and when she twirls a strand of her hair around her index finger, just challenging him to go the ninety degree's so she can finally kiss him back. Every time he manages to make her laugh, or when he moves in and gives her a just 'friendly' hug, every time she wishes upon a star for him to be in love with her, my heart dies just a little. So, as I sit here with her at the café and watch her talk animatedly with him on her cell phone, I automatically digress that if this keeps happening, I'll be dead in a matter of months. Doesn't matter, I don't care.
So, I take a sip of my coffee, staring at her pacing back and forth giggling and sending me little winks and little hand gestures. They're not for me, by this time I know that.
But even though I know I'm desperate, so desperate as to actually pretend that I have no interest in her whatsoever, and, to actually hang out with her and practically stalk her most of the time. When you can't stand not being near them even though you know it's painfully obvious that it's always going to be one-sided, that's desperate. Or, you can be even more like me and sit in a small coffee shop brooding over a chai latte while she giggles to the guy on the other line, and you still want to be with her.
Even though, there's always been something about her that just makes me want to be with her and be proud of her and just hold her hand until I fall asleep. It's her attitude and her looks, that curly blonde hair, or maybe her lips, like dainty little peach wedges stacked perfectly on top of each other just waiting for someone to grab her shoulders and kiss the hell out of them. I know for certain that the someone that she's waiting for isn't me. Never me, never ever, ever. It kind of hurts just sitting here, staring at her with that small smile on my face, because even though she has no idea what she means to me, I'm so proud of her and with one gulp of lukewarm coffee, I say it again in my mind, where she can't hear it. I love Rosemary O'Doyle so much. It feels like my chest is just bubbling up and I forget how to breathe and it just hurts so weirdly right in the middle, it hurts so bad that it tickles and makes you want to just laugh your guts out forever and ever and ever. Yeah. If that isn't love, then, I have no idea what it is lest what it even feels like.
She snaps her phone shut, still giggling as it rings again, this time, her best friend Poppy, most likely wanting the next update, or where we'll all be having a drink next Friday. She snaps it again, and walks over, staring at her vacant spot across from me like it's the devil just waiting to bite her tongue out or chew her earlobe.
"Let's go visit Poppy and then collect Tyler. Today's drink night remember." I take another sip, almost gagging on the spicy lukewarm sweetness running over my tongue as she smiles up at me, her eyelashes coiling up in dainty dark brown curls.
'Maybe if you weren't spending all your time thinking about her, you'd actually be able to drink it hot.'
I think to myself as I toss the cold thick coffee into the trash, trying to ignore those peach wedges as she carefully applies pink lip gloss and then plumper. 'As if they could get anymore perfect…'
Of course I blush and stare at my shoes, opening the door for her as she continues to apply more and more gloss, shining and perfecting, shining and perfecting, going two hundred percent for him. I imagine myself in his position, waiting for her at the bar, fixing his tie as she rushes in, bombarding him with flurried kisses, and comforting little touches on the cheek. I shake my head as we walk down the street, stopping at a stop sign as a truck whizzes by, the horn honking as obnoxious boys make lewd gestures in her direction. She's putting on eye shadow now, walking ahead of me while I lag behind staring at the boys driving by. I wait until I'm sure she's not looking, and then flick the bird at them, scowling and glaring and growling like a tom cat protecting his property. They smack their lips in the air, and honk the horn driving off into the distance in a flurry of rock music and thin grey clouds of cigarette smoke. She snaps the makeup shut and looks at me, smiling sweetly with the gloss and perfect shadow and sexy whispers of perfume floating around.
"Do I look okay Kai? Too plain? Do you think I look like a prostitute? Do you think he'll say anything about my hair?"
I force a smile as she looks at me from under those eyelashes, her bright blue eyes contrasting perfectly with the green shadow. I think she's beautiful in her pajamas, I think she's beautiful in anything. But, of course I have to tell her something. So, forcing that smile back onto my face, I wink obnoxiously and then allow myself to touch her cheek gently before pinching it, earning a playful squeal from her. God, she's so amazing.
"Rosy, honestly? He'll probably be so awestruck with your beauty that he won't even be able to say anything."
She gives me a hug and then steps away, opening her little purse, searching until she fishes out a tube of mascara. She applies two layers and the sticks it back in the tube, unzipping her purse and sighing. I think, well maybe I can tell her something, maybe just a tidbit of what I feel…maybe just a little-
A girlish voice interrupts my thoughts and I glance to my right and smile. Poppy's here.
I chuckle as she waggles her fingers playfully at me.
"Hello Pops, what's going down."
"You're going down tonight Kai; I'll win the drinking contest tonight."
"Oh you know it honey. You sure know how to handle your alcohol real well."
Rosy interjects, a huge grin on her face and when I see her smiling all happy and stuff, I can't help but think, God could you have made her even more perfect?
"Poppy, the last time you tried to beat Kai, he didn't drink a drop and you drank a glass-"
I interrupt with a small laugh of my own, tightening the kerchief around my head.
"And you still got dead drunk Pops."
"Damn right Kai, Poppy can't hold her alcohol at all."
We all laugh, linking arms, and suddenly I wish it could be like old times, back when Rosemary liked to ride piggyback on me and Tyler convinced Poppy to ride on his back because he was a strong man. Back when we were kids, kids without the influence, without the drugs, without the knowing that love could hurt so good like this.
And then, my heart tightens, because in a squeal, Rosy lets go of me and rushes towards a guy in the distance, leaving me and Pops in her dust. Pops just smiles a sad smile and keeps holding onto my arm.
"Our Rosy is growing up isn't she Kai?"
I open and close my mouth, wishing for life that I could just let out this huge scream of frustration. Instead I just whisper quietly, looking at the two in the distance. Rosemary tagging along as he stuffs his hands in his pockets, laughing as he makes his way over to me with a smile and a twinkle in his eye. He winks at Poppy, kissing her hand in a mock gentlemen way as she pretends to gasp and blush.
"And who is this beautiful lady with dyed pink hair. Surely she is from the blush radiating off of her pale, doll like features."
Poppy slaps him and they embrace. Rosemary scoffs, and even though she doesn't know it, I can see her scowling.
"Oh, Tyler you know, I'm just totally in love with you."
He grabs her hand, and then whispers in her ear loud enough for everyone to hear, loud enough so that we all know he's joking.
"I love you Poppy…"
Rosemary growls and then grabs his arm, smiling a huge wide grin like she isn't jealous or even slightly affected by this false play, this act that Poppy and Tyler put out. But when I saw Tyler whisper in her ear, his eyes closed ever so slightly, his face heated up ever so slightly, and his voice, thick in emotion…thick in words he only wanted that someone to hear. I saw something, something so bittersweet and true that no one would have noticed it unless they were dying to tell someone that too. So as the three walk up the street to the bar, I lag behind a little bit. I walk and amuse myself with watching his face every time he looks at Poppy and the friendly smile when he winks at Rosy. I can see her eyes, whisking from him then to Poppy, I can see her eyebrows tilted in determination. I can see the dense look in Poppy's eye's as she holds his hand carelessly, or as he slowly leans in to smell her hair. She doesn't know. Rosemary knows, and Rosemary will cry, Rosemary, by the end of the evening, will have a broken heart.
I know, and my heart leaps. It leaps in pain, leaps so hard against my skin that I start to cry a few abstract tears, wiping them away as I see Rosy keep her distance, trying to remain cool. Rosy trying to remain cool enough for Tyler to love her. He's touching Poppy's hair now, just kind of feeling it under his fingers, and she remains oblivious, smiling and laughing like nothing's wrong, like Rosemary's heart isn't breaking. I walk up to Rosemary as she stops, letting Poppy and Tyler get ahead of us. Taking her hand I look at her and then look at the two ahead of us, Poppy oblivious, and Tyler, so in love that he doesn't notice. I manage a smile and wipe away a stray tear on Rosemary's cheek as her eyeliner runs and by now the perfect gloss has worn to a dull sticky layer that just has to be wiped off.
"Sometimes loving someone means letting them go…"
She starts to cry.
"He will love me; I'll never let him go. You'll see." And then as she smiles and wipes she last of her tears, she shakes my hand before running up to them, shouting over her shoulder as I'm standing there, the tears threatening to slip down my cheeks.
"Thanks for being such a good friend Kai!"
And suddenly I'm so jealous of Tyler, so jealous of Poppy, So jealous of Rosy, to have someone love them as more then just a friend. I'm so jealous I think I might be green, green in envy, and green in resentment. My own words echo in my head as they shout at me from ahead to hurry up, waving their hands at me, Rosemary hanging off of his shoulder, Poppy looking at me, Tyler grinning at Poppy. My own words just keep replaying, and replaying.
"Sometimes loving someone means letting them go…"
I silently start to cry.