Author's Note: So it seems like I'm going to be getting into the habit of saying this, but this is Cafei's fault. And Vaeru for refusing to be the voice of reason. And letting me publicly abuse her universe like this. But mainly it's all Cafei. I'm a slave to my imagination and my imagination is pretty much any enabler's best friend.

Crack. That's all the warning that should be said about this. Pure. Unadultered. Crack.

Also if you haven't read Vaeru's Juxtaposition series you probably won't get it.

Juxtaposition: A Grand Scale Love Song

Two things happened as the Decepticon ship peeled off its attack. The first was that all the lights in Metellus went to their lowest setting. The second was everything that Metullus controlled- doors, lifts, locks –all froze.

The third thing, immediately after the first two occurred, was they were hailed by the Wreckers.

"Primus slagging Pit," Ironhide cursed, even as Jazz replied to the query on if they needed any additional assistance. "Of all the ships to come to help us." The rest of the bridge crew rumbled their own displeasure.

Optimus Prime merely opened a ship-wide communications link. "All hands, stay where you are. We have Wreckers in the vicinity."

As one every mech onboard groaned.

She was the most gorgeous thing he'd ever seen and given his long life and even greater distances he's traveled that was not something to be said lightly. He loved everything about her, the cut of her planes, the way light played on her curves, the cool, composed red of her chassis. He loved looking at her length, her breadth, the enticing angles of her wings.

If she were just beautiful he could've ignored his infatuation or had gotten over it centuries ago. But no, she had to be so talented and relentless and loyal in her mission and her mechs. And so very, very clever. She teased him every time they met, purposefully mixing her signals, making him work for her acknowledgement and he'd scramble to prove himself worthy. She'd give him a trill of laughter each time he figured out her games, gave him little flirtatious surges, sending off sparks that would run subtle riots through his systems and he loved every single moment of it. He loved her and there was nothing he wanted more in all the galaxies than to spend his time pleasing her, protecting her, being with her every instant he could.

He was- utterly –in love.

"Slaggit!" Ratchet snapped. "We don't need this right now! Wheeljack!"

"I got her." The engineer went over to Evelyn and carefully picked her up. He and Ratchet sat in the middle of the medbay, away from any doors or vents or cabinets.

"What's going on?" Evelyn asked, her eyes slowly adjusting to the dark. "Do we not like Wreckers? Are we going to be attacked again?"

Sideswipe chimed up in her head, though he sounded just as confused. 'We shouldn't be, the Wreckers are supposed to be one of our strike forces. I've never met them myself, but everyone's heard of them.'

"Nah, they're on our side." Evelyn winced as Wheeljack spoke, his vocal indicators ruining her night vision. She shaded her eyes. "It's not the Wreckers themselves that's the problem. It's their ship. Xantium."

"What's wrong with their ship?"

Suddenly a long, slow vibration rippled through the deck and Evelyn belatedly recalled it was like being wrapped up in a cat's purr.

"Um, I guess the simplest way to put it would be that Metellus is in love with her."


'Did your brain just short, or was that me?'