A/N: Hey! So this plot bunny hopped into my head when i was right in the middle of writing chapter 21 of Life Renovations, so i just started to write it down. I like it so far, and just wanted to see if it interested anyone else. This chap is short, but if i continue, the chaps will grow in length. I will continue with it if i get enough reviews. So please r&r! Thanks.
I Need You For Hope
When did things get so turned around, that he couldn't even see straight anymore? This was the third night in a row he had to leave the common room to clear his head of everything. It got to the point that if he stayed within the room with his friends, he may have ended up blasting through the walls with his wand. His headaches were getting bad, which were only made worse when he had to endure meaningless conversation with those around him. Really, there were more important things to talk about then when the next dance was going to be, or what should one wear to graduation. Ron and Hermione, bless them, weren't among those idiots, but they were together now, which meant that left him alone most of the time. And that wouldn't be so bad, if the other Gryffindors didn't pull him in when they wanted his opinion on stuff like that. Did they really think he cared about that shite?
So in order to save the Gryffindor common room from his lashing out, Harry had dashed out of there, even when there were only five minutes left before curfew. He didn't care. He didn't even care that he did not have his invisibility cloak. The only person who would really give him the most grief for being out late was usually Professor Snape. But Harry didn't really have to worry about him anymore either. And the other person he might have had to keep an eye out for was Draco Malfoy, but for some reason, Malfoy had decided their rivalry was too childish, and it seemed he wanted to grow up a bit. Which suited Harry just fine. It had been getting to the point where he hated himself more then he ever hated Malfoy when they began to fight. So Harry was grateful Malfoy seemed to have grown up.
" You're out late again, Potter." Came the silky voice of his potions professor. Harry sighed and turned to face Severus Snape, and nodded his head.
" Why do they all act like nothing important is going on outside of these walls, Professor? It gets so bad that sometimes I just want to strangle some of them."
" Now you know how I feel when I have to teach you idiots."
" Hey! I've been doing well this year."
" Yes, I suppose that's true. Thank Merlin."
Harry made a reserved sound and rubbed his forehead just over his scar. Severus peered intently at him. " Your head has been bothering you more lately."
" Yes. It's nearly time. It will be finished soon." Harry looked away from Severus and peered out of the thin window near the astronomy tower where he had been headed. " I was thinking…maybe death isn't such a bad thing. It's my destiny, right? To die fighting Voldemort…"
" Potter, follow me." Severus turned around and glided down the corridor, leaving Harry no choice but to follow. He followed Snape all the way down to the dungeons and past the Slytherin common room to Snape's office. At one point near the Slytherin snake pit, Harry was sure he had heard a noise, like the scuffing of shoes against the hard stone floor, but when he looked, he could see nothing. He felt a presence, but chose not to go investigate. He really didn't care. It was probably a Slytherin couple seeking solitude outside their common room. When he turned back around, it was to find Snape studying him.
" In here, please."
Harry raised his eyebrow at that, but he did enter and took a seat across from Severus, who sat behind his desk. Severus brought his fingers together in a steeple under his chin and studied the Gryffindor once more. Harry had never been to a psychiatrist before, but he had a feeling it would have felt just like this.
He and Severus had come to an understanding at the beginning of the 7th year. It had been a hard and strenuous struggle before that understanding was reached, but Severus had tried, under the guidance of Headmaster Dumbledore, or rather under the demand of the old and wizened wizard, and once Harry had seen Severus trying to make a compromising truce with him, Harry had no choice but to try as well. It was slow in coming, but now, nearly at the end of his seventh year, he and Severus had a very good working relationship, and were close enough to even be considered friends.
" Have you been thinking about death often, Potter?"
" Oh please, professor. I'm the bloody boy who lived. Of course I think about death."
" No need to take on an attitude. Tell me what is really bothering you."
Harry sighed and threw one leg over the arm of his chair. " I don't know." He said flatly. Why the hell did he even bring that up? He should have kept his mouth shut! But it was probably because he hadn't had any time to talk with Hermione and Ron, which meant he hadn't really been able to speak his mind about anything with anyone who really wanted to listen. As if Severus could hear his thoughts, he mentioned Ron and Hermione.
" I've noticed you spend less and less time with Granger and Weasley. Have you had a row?"
" No. I just think it's best if they spend as much time together as they can before we really have to battle. And I hate being a third wheel."
" You need to be able to talk to someone."
" I'm talking to you right now, Professor."
" But there are some things you do not want to talk to me about. Maybe your problem is that you think too much about what is going on outside of Hogwarts. Maybe you should take some time for yourself."
" How do you suppose I do that?"
" Maybe by making new friends…perhaps you are depressed because you are lonely."
Harry looked at Severus sharply, and dropped his legs to the ground. " I never said I was depressed, and I don't need new friends. I'm friendly with everyone, except the Slytherins, and that is only because they hate me."
" They don't hate you." Severus chose to ignore the rude snort the young man in front of him made. " Not all of them, anyway."
Harry stood up. " It's time I return to Gryffindor tower, Professor. Thank you for talking with me."
" Harry, you know you can speak with me. You needn't be afraid that I would reject anything you have to say. "
" I know, Professor. Thanks." Harry gave him a weak smile and then left. Once the door was shut, Severus waited a minute, and then called out. " You may come out now."
A side door opened, and a young man stepped out. The smug look on his aristocratic face told Severus he had heard everything.
" He would never speak to me again if he knew I allowed you to listen in." Severus began. He watched the young man saunter over and take up the seat Harry vacated.
" But you know I only have his best interest at heart. I want to help him." Drawled the young wizard. " Everyone can see how lost he's becoming."
" No. Only you, myself, and Dumbledore have noticed, and you have yet to tell me why you seem to care so much about what happens to him."
" Isn't it obvious, Sev?"
" Yes. But I want you to say it."
" It's simple really. I want him. Plain and simple."
" No, it is not simple." Severus said lowly, leaning over his desk. " How exactly do you want him? For a game? For a short time until you tire of him, as you have with all your former lovers? He cannot be played with like that."
" This isn't a game for me." His student said, his eyes blazing with determination. " It can't be. Not with him. Just like he said, he is the bloody boy who lived. If I wanted a plaything, I could find someone much easier, much less complicated to amuse me. But Harry," here he said the name with a soft smile, " he's different. And he's worth every bit of trouble I'll find myself in when and if we come out. He's already helped me, and he didn't even know it. Damn Gryffindor, always the hero…"
" Fine. Would you like my assistance?"
A hopeful grin spread across the Slytherin's face. " I would be indebted to you, Severus."