Just another silly one-shot! Hope you enjoy it!
Good Morning Bella
The morning sun shone brightly, signaling to the sleeping that it was time to wake up. But behind my closed lids, the light seemed staggering, almost terrible in its brilliancy.
Why did it seem extra bright today??
I lifted one eye carefully open, but immediately shut it against the onslaught of nausea that registered in my body. My mouth was bone dry, and I felt as if my stomach was filled with cement. I groaned softly and made to roll over, but I found that my body was completely stiff and my muscles were furiously aching.
What is wrong with me? I thought, as I shielded my face from the blinding light taunting me from Edward's large window.
Wait…what am I doing in Edward's room?!
I shot up in surprise but then realized that I definitely shouldn't have. I flopped back down onto the soft pillow and covered my face against the sudden dizziness. I was dying. I knew it.
A low musical hum registered in my ear, and I looked out from between my fingers to see Edward enter the room, carrying a tray in his hands. Obviously he already knew I was awake, because his face was lifted in a dazzling grin as he came to sit beside me.
"Good morning beautiful," he said in his velvet voice, kissing me lightly on the forehead before placing the tray on the floor. "How are you feeling?"
"Like death. You bit me didn't you," I mumbled groggily, knowing it wasn't true but convinced that I was currently suffering some kind of slow and painful demise.
Sheer pain flashed through his eyes for one moment, but was gone just as quickly. If I didn't know him so well, I wouldn't have even seen it. "Not yet," he finally answered softly, putting a cool hand on my cheek.
I sighed and nuzzled my head into his palm. The coolness of his skin was like fresh water. Speaking of water, I realized how utterly dehydrated I was and ran my tongue across my chap lips. As always, Edward was a step ahead of me. He reached down and grabbed a tall glass of clear water, but instead of handing it to me; he quickly dipped two fingers in it.
I scrunched my face in confusion, but then moaned my content as he ran his two wet fingers over my lips, returning their moisture. He chuckled and then slowly brushed his marble lips against mine, pulling back before I could respond.
Of course, with the horrid way I was feeling now, I doubt that I even had the energy to kiss him back. I inwardly snorted. I guess there really is a first time for everything.
He then put his hand tenderly against the back of my head to lift it up off the pillow. I felt the cool glass touch my lips and let the liquid slide down my cotton clogged throat.
"No more," I murmured a moment later, twisting my face away. The small amount of water already felt like it was going to come back up and that was the last thing I ever wanted to happen in front of Edward. It was way too embarrassing, and way too human.
He gave me a stern look, but then sighed as he silently admitted defeat. I heard a small tink as he set the water back on the tray. Before I could even blink, he was laid out perfectly beside me, his hands running through my hair. I felt a small tug.
"What are you doing?" I questioned, my eyes still closed as I tried to fight away the lurching of my treacherous stomach.
"Taking out your tangles," he responded smoothly. I felt another small tug, and then his lithe fingers pressing against my scalp. "You're hair is oddly messy this morning," he told me, but there was an undertone of amusement in his voice.
I tried to banish the thoughts of how I must look right now, and instead let out a small breath of self depreciation.
For the past month, the Cullen siblings had been treating me and spoiling me with ridiculous human things. Despite my firm protests, they were relentless. Last night was "my last Thursday night of being human," as Alice had put it, and then Emmett went on to explain about a concept known to adolescents as "Thirsty Thursdays."
I knew there was a keg. I knew I was the only one of them who could actually drink it, and I knew that the six of us had sat down to play a game of cards. But that was the last thing I remembered.
I peeked at Edward, whose lips were happily curved at the sides; still busy combing through what must be my rat nest of a head.
"Er, Edward?" I asked carefully, as I subconsciously sunk myself down farther into his mattress. "What…exactly happened last night?" I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the ambush of humiliation I was sure to feel.
He chuckled but didn't answer. I saw him twirl one of my long brown locks in his hand until it came to rest on my shoulder, completely straight and untangled.
"Edward?" I pressed again, squinting up to look at him.
He smiled beautifully and met my eyes. His hand left my head to rub gentle circles on my cheek with his thumb. "Would you like some aspirin?" he asked, affectively avoiding my question, which obviously meant only one thing in my mind.
I shook my head and groaned in aggravation. It was apparent I made a complete fool of myself and Edward was just too kind to tell me. Maybe I didn't even want to know. Maybe I could just stay ignorant until Sunday and hope that this would be a human memory I wouldn't remember.
But as I looked back up at my soon to be husband, I remembered that there was no way he would ever be able to forget. Whatever I had done would be engrained in his perfect memory until the end of time. I decided I would rather know what it was…maybe I could defend myself.
"Let's just get this over with," I sighed in irritation. "Just tell me how embarrassing I was, and then we can all hopefully forget it."
Edward nodded as he tucked the blankets into my side, making me drink another few sips of water before he explained.
"You were very drunk." He started lightly, tracing my jaw line with the backs of his fingers. "And you weren't embarrassing Bella, you were absurdly endearing."
I rolled my eyes doubtfully at the silly statement, somehow not being able to picture it.
"The last thing I remember is sitting down to play cards," I admitted. "But after that…it gets a little blurry."
He smiled, pursing his lips in apparent amusement. "Well…after a few rounds of cards, you had surprisingly already consumed two cups of that beer. I insisted that it was enough, but Emmett and Rosalie got really upset, telling me that I was ruining your fun and calling me a 'buzz kill.'"
He frowned and narrowed his eyes at the memory. I held in a laugh at his expression.
He sighed and continued. "Then you pleaded with me to have just one more." He frowned again. "So I checked Alice's mind of course, and after I saw that one more would be relatively harmless, I agreed. But we made a promise that that would be the last one. "
I cringed, somehow thinking that I had broken that promise. My stomach turned and gurgled, suggesting that I was probably right.
"But what happened next," he said evenly as he shook his head. "No one was expecting."
"What did I do?" I asked meekly, feeling a small tinge of fear run up my spine.
"You chugged the entire cup within seconds," he answered seriously. "And then you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, threw Emmett a high five and announced that you had to "make it count."
I felt myself go still, wondering at the possibility of those words ever leaving my mouth.
"Then we continued to play cards," went on Edward. "Or at least we tried to, but you were er…making it a little difficult love."
He went back to untangling my hair, and I was glad that he couldn't see my face, which was no doubt strawberry red. I groaned but motioned for him to continue.
"You dropped one of your cards, so you disappeared under the table to get it. The next thing I knew you were…scraping that card up my leg."
I gasped, my mouth dropping open in complete shock. "I what?!"
He nodded. "And then you replaced the card with your teeth."
"Oh GOD," I moaned breathlessly, officially drowning in my humiliation.
"But when I reached under the table to get you, you dodged out of the way, sliding across the kitchen floor on your stomach into the living room. You then shouted to us that we should move the card game in there so the "'ol hominid " could be more comfortable."
"Hominid?!" I repeated incredulously.
"Well yes," stated Edward, pausing for a moment. "A hominid is a direct ancestor of hum-"
"I know what a hominid is Edward!" I snapped, but then immediately apologized to him through my eyes. He smiled and kissed each eyelid softly. "Sorry…continue." I muttered.
"At this point, Jasper and Emmett could barely contain their laugher and barreled after you into the living room. I obviously, was very upset. Alice, Rosalie and I got into a little argument. They insisted that you would be fine, but…well you know how I worry."
I nodded, my heart skipping a beat against my chest.
"But that didn't compare to how angry I was when I walked into the living room and spotted you doing a keg stand."
"KEG STAND?!" I shouted, pretty sure that I didn't even know what that was, let alone be capable of doing one.
"A keg stand. Emmett was holding your legs straight up in the air, pumping his fist as he counted each second. Jasper was squirting the beer into your mouth, bending down and grinning like madman."
I listened intently, amazed that this was me he was talking about.
"You can guess how mad I was then," he confessed, pausing to gently massage the nape of my neck. "I sort of…overreacted. I charged forward and grabbed your waist, kicking Jasper out of the way and thumping Emmett on his back with my free arm. But they were too busy in hysterics to even notice," he snarled angrily.
"And then," he sighed. "Hanging limp in my arms, you looked up with a woozy grin and said, "How many seconds was that Em?"
I bit my cheek and decided not to comment, hardly believing that any of this was true.
"Emmett picked himself up off the floor and shouted that you had basically made it to ten seconds. You squirmed out of my arms, and you and Emmett began congratulating each other like old teammates, hopping around and slapping each other."
I stared at him in horror as I pictured myself and Emmett doing just that. I groaned and pulled the blanket over my head, imagining the teasing that I would be facing the next time I saw the rest of his family.
Edward lifted the blanket off me gently, his sweet breath blowing into my hair as he bent down to kiss my forehead.
"And then," he continued, ignoring my sharp look of protest. "You flung yourself on the couch, spread your legs wide on the floor, ruffled your hair and asked if anyone had any cigarettes."
"WHAT?!" That last statement made me practically jump out of my skin. I stared wildly at my fiancé in shock. "There's no way I would say that, I have never smoked a cigarette in my life!"
He sighed. "I know, Bella. Don't worry, obviously we didn't have any, and even if by some strange reason we did, none of us would have let you anyway."
I nodded, wondering how much more of this I could possibly take.
"I then tried to get you to sip some water. I didn't want you to be sick in the morning." At this he gave me an apologetic smile. "You took the water from my hands, but instead of drinking it, you began to pour it onto the rug."
"Why would I do that!?" I shouted in surprise.
"You were commemorating the lives of all the dead rappers," Edward said evenly, keeping his face free of emotion. "Tupac, Biggie Smalls…."
"Oh for goodness sake," I moaned and shook my head, burying my face in my hands.
"After the bottle was empty, Emmett suggested that you should try your hand at rapping…"
At those words, I knew the moment had come. Everything up until then was somewhat bearable, but this…I was sure was going to humiliate me into oblivion.
"So," he sighed and gave me a long wistful sort of look. "You loved the idea right off the bat. So you got up onto the coffee table and started jerking your neck back and forth."
My name is Bella – Ella
You could stand under my umbrella – ella
My boyfriend likes the way I smella – ella
While my face was currently underneath a pillow, Edward went on to explain how Emmett was slamming his fist on the floor with laughter, holding his stomach while Jasper was pounding a beat beside him, trying to smother his mirth.
Gold eyes or black!
They make my heart keep drummin!
Whose got 'em both!
My man Edward Cullen
Edward was grinning widely as he told me that even Rosalie and Alice were beside themselves at this point. He then continued to recite what I had said word for word in his musical voice.
Look at my neck!
And put your teeth inside it!
C'mon, don't fight it!
You know you wanna BITE IT!
Apparently I was swiveling my hips and almost fell off the coffee table. But of course Edward was there to catch me.
"…But after I caught you, you straightened out your entire body, went stiff, and rolled onto the floor, and then tried to sneak back towards the keg."
"Don't tell me I had anymore to drink?" I shouted incredulously.
He shook his head. "After I pulled you off the floor, all thoughts of drinking were gone, and you announced that you were hungry and demanded that someone take a McDonalds run. Everyone volunteered me to go, but there was no way I was leaving you alone with them."
He frowned and pulled me close to him, as if threatened by the memory.
A loud sigh escaped his lips. "Somehow, I don't remember how it happened, but everyone ended up piling into the Volvo; you were in the front seat of course."
I listened intently, wondering at the fact that I didn't remember any of this.
"Emmett reached over and turned on the radio, and everyone besides me was screaming and yelling the entire way, while you knelt on the passenger seat facing them, bouncing your head up and down, and turning on the air conditioner full blast so your hair would blow around your face."
"Then when we pulled up to the McDonalds drive through, you got in an argument with the attendant over the loud speaker about it being 11:59 and the dollar menu should still technically be open, after she told you would have to pay full price for your chicken nuggets. Let's just say in the end, you got them for a dollar."
"When we pulled around to get the food, you climbed onto my lap and rolled the window down so only your eyes were showing. When the lady turned around with the bag, you asked her if she "had the goods" and then stuck your fingers out to grab it. You obviously couldn't fit the bag through the window, but you kept trying." He chuckled lightly.
"I am never going back there," I grumbled incoherently. But of course he heard me.
"Well, I rolled the window down properly, grabbed the food and apologized before we drove off," he told me. "You finished the entire bag on the way home, and when you got out of the car, you put both hands on your arched back, claiming that you were having a 'food baby.'"
I shook my head and felt my embarrassment go numb. My body had a limit, and my face could not possibly get any redder.
"Carlisle must have disposed of the keg because when we got back in the house it was gone. Emmett, to say the least, was very disappointed," he smirked, and then it got wider as he pictured what must have happened next. He bent down to place another soft kiss to my lips, and I felt his growing smile against my skin.
"Oh just tell me," I muttered, my eyes still closed.
"You then announced that you didn't care about the keg. And that there were other more important matters that you wanted to discuss."
He looked down, trying to stifle the grin that was on his face. "You came up to me, pointed a finger in my face and told me you were tired of sitting in the virgin waiting room, and that it was your turn to get a checkup."
I was wrong, my face could get redder.
"You put your hands on your hips, told me that you were going upstairs to my room. Told me that you were going to be completely naked, and demanded that I ravish you. You spun around angrily and stomped up the stairs, disappearing, but throwing your two socks out from behind the wall."
It was official; I was completely and utterly mortified. I curled into a ball and contemplated putting both fingers in my ears to block out the rest.
"Needless to say, when I came up five minutes later, you were asleep in the hallway, completely clothed, well except for those two socks." He beamed.
I groaned, loudly.
"I am so sorry Edward," I said, my throat tight with embarrassment. "I didn't mean to cause all that trouble."
He didn't answer, but flipped me around so fast that before I knew it he was hovering over me. He looked down into my eyes, his golden ones full of love and acceptance.
"It was fun," he said softly, nuzzling into my neck. "But no more Thirsty Thursdays for you, my love."
I was about to agree, but I heard the door slam open, instantly jerking us both apart.
Emmett was grinning at me, along with Jasper. Alice ducked down in between their legs and ran into the room. Rosalie stood on her toes and peered over Emmett's shoulder, amusement filling her eyes.
"Good morning Bella!" they sang in unison, and I ducked under the covers as they all ran over to jump on the bed.
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