this isn't a fashion show, pixie
by an awesome blossom
you are not wearing innovation! seriously, those sandleboots have to go.

Midnight Crystal Sage requested Link and Pit for Popping Corks, but this ended up being too long for it. Super Smash Bros. Brawl is property of Nintendo.


Pit's feeling rays jutted out past his eyes and hit the reflective surface in front of him; the rays bounced back, and so Pit stared at himself in intense self-examination.

With how his toga fell about, it looked as if he wore a skirt, and he could just not see his little shorts underneath. Was he okay with looking like a little boy in a skirt? Did the shorts even go with the toga? They were just for modesty, really, but Pit couldn't decide if they actually went with his outfit. Did he have that shade of blue anywhere else in his ensemble? He didn't think so.

Twisting and turning around, Pit looked all over for that shade of blue; it wasn't there. But that was alright, he supposed, as long as it fit in with the grand color scheme of things. Did it, though? After seconds of critical self-observation, Pit concluded that he didn't really like that blue with his outfit.

And his shorts were still too short.

This was a problem, a very serious problem. No one would respect a teenage boy in a skirt, and if they were lucky enough (since Pit considered himself a very desirable love interest no matter who you were) to see that he wore shorts underneath his toga overflow, they still wouldn't respect him because that shade of blue simply did not go.

Staring at himself, Pit took a deep breath and tried to put things in perspective. "It's okay, Pit. This isn't a fashion show. You're the best dressed guy here anyway, short shorts in the wrong shade of blue aside..."

"I resent that."

Pit jumped, startled at the sudden intrusion, and whirled around to face Link leaning against the threshold of the dressing room.

"And besides," Link advised, "if you wear your toga asymmetrically instead of perfectly splayed around, then it's less likely to look like a dress. Also, it gives your outfit some dynamic and flow."

Facing the mirror once again, Pit concentrated on himself and his friend's advice. He shift how his toga folded so that it parted over his right leg and hung lower to his left and in the back. Satisfied, he turned to Link again who nodded in approval and gave a triumphant smirk. "So I guess your tunic looking like a boring skirt is intentional?"

Immediately Link scowled. "Oh shut up, this is traditional garb of the Hero back where I'm from - completely different from your fashion dilemma. ...Besides, the tight-pants-under-a-skirt look is in right now."

"And in your land, heroes wear skirts?"

"Whatever," Link muttered and went to stalk away when Pit suddenly cried for him to not leave.

Leading him back into the dressing room, the angel explained, "I still need your help. So look, now that you can clearly see that I'm wearing shorts... Look at the color!"

"What about it?"

"You don't think that the blue looks out of place with the rest of the outfit?"

Link shook his head. "That's part of a bodysuit, right? Then just rearrange your top so that it shows in a well-intentioned way."

As he unraveled the top portion of his toga and began anew, Pit asked, "So how do you know all this anyway?"

Slightly flush in the face, Link rubbed his neck. "I, uh...I, I..." Then he coughed and muttered quickly, "I-steal-Peach's-fashion-mag-subscriptions."

Snickering, Pit presented his newly draped top for Hylian approval. "How does it look?"

"Pretty good," Link nodded but then glanced down with a raised eyebrow and a look of clear distaste on his face. "Now you just have to do something about your footwear..."

"Wait, what about my sandleboots?"

"They are, um, how do I say this nicely...atrocious."

Pit exclaimed as he physically recoiled at the offensive judgment. "What! How can you even say that? These beautiful babies are top of the line! They're the height of fashion back home!"

"The height of bad fashion, you mean. Those sandalboot things serve no purpose other than to be downright horrible!"

"You don't know anything! You're wearing stodgy and boring old rags that your grandfather probably wore back in the day, and they probably weren't even fashionable then! You know absolutely nothing!"

"Vintage is in!"

Crossing his arms in a huff, Pit defended, "Whatever, Link! I'm wearing innovation and you're wearing crap! So don't hate on the sandleboots, man, don't hate!"

A floating chuckle interrupted the argument, and, startled, both Link and Pit turned around to see Samus and Captain Falcon looking quite smug.

"So what are you two pixies up to?" Falcon asked, amused.

Samus chuckled again. "Arguing over clothes like two valley teens?"

"N-no..." they both murmured, looking quite embarrassed and red.

"No matter," she shrugged, "Doug and I came to tell you two fashionistas that Zelda and Peach are having a potluck tomorrow night, so bring something."

With the message successfully given, she and Captain Falcon left in snickers. Falcon, though, couldn't resist: "Oh, and the skirts make both your butts look big, ladies."

In a panic, Link and Pit rushed to the mirror and rode out the perceived fashion emergency together.