Melt This Heart
( jerry & alexis )
; let's be more than this
Disclaimer: I do not own GH.
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
-- Alicia Keys
Her head ached. Her eyes ached. Everything just ached and there was nothing she could do to stop it; medicine, quiet in every sense of the word, a heated up beanbag... Nothing. Waking up every hour of the night had done nothing for how aware and alert she was, either. She could barely keep her eyes open and when she heard a knock on the door, she had no strength whatsoever to get herself up and off of the couch she'd fallen onto earlier in the day.
They were persistent, too.
Of course. Because she would never have the luck to attract anyone else to her house. She said nothing, not that she felt like it anyways, hoping that the person on the other side of the door would take the hint or perhaps believe that she wasn't home.
Only he would walk in uninvited.
"Alexis, darling, really, you shouldn't be so rude to your favorite client. And I do believe I still hold that title, am I right?" Jerry drawled in the sickeningly sexy accent of his -- not that she noticed those things, of course -- and she heard him, quite obnoxiously, start to hang his coat up and kick off his shoes as if he were actually asked in. As if he thought he was staying! She had little strength to waste on a laugh and so it came out as a weak chuckle.
First mistake of the day.
"Sweetheart, you look terrible." Jerry informed her and she forced herself to open her eyes, only to find him hovering over her just a little too close -- not that he ever seemed to care about that. He surprised her when she saw the flicker of unmistakable concern flash through his eyes. He laid the back of his hand against her forehead and she was relieved, for a moment, as she took in the coolness of it. "Where is Kristina? And Molly?" He asked, looking around for a sign that they were in the house with her. "Not with you, I hope."
She shook her head and coughed slightly, feeling the burn in her throat intensify. "With Sonny and Ric."
He chuckled. "Good thing I stopped by then, my dear. You don't look very much like you could survive alone today. Have you eaten anything?"
"No. Just opening my eyes is painful, probably more so now that I get to see you every time I do."
"Ouch. Those are striking words, Alexis, but since I've offered to take care of you..."
"I don't need to be taken care of, nor did I ask you to." She retorted, sharp as ever and he smiled. "Don't smile, just leave." She added, without looking; damn, she knew what he was doing without looking? That was never a good sign.
"Okay. If you insist. What would you like to eat?" He said, leaving the room for her kitchen and she could've killed him for his ignoring her, but she recognized that small niggling in the back of her head; that want and need for someone to take care of her for a day and why not today, when she was too sick to do so?
She had too much pride to let anyone was all, especially when it was Jerry Jacks. It was bad enough he had found her in this condition.
He spoke loud enough so that she could easily hear him from the couch as he started to rummage around in her cupboards. "Come on, Alexis." He sighed when she didn't answer. "Stop resisting and let go of that stubborn disposition for a moment, all I'm doing is making you something to eat -- I'm hardly going to try and kill off my favorite attorney--"
"Your only attorney." She muttered to herself. "The insane one, apparently, for taking you on."
"--not to mention my favorite lady of Port Charles--"
"Ha!" She laughed and he stopped what he was doing, hearing it.
"Why is that funny?"
"Oh, I don't know," her voice dripped with sarcasm as he stepped back into the room with a frown. "And haven't you ever wondered why I'm always eating out? I don't have any food because I don't cook -- cooking is a disaster and cooking is ridiculous--"
"And you can't cook? Come on Alexis, you can admit you are challenged by something." Jerry grinned down at her.
She raised her arm up to cover her eyes, blocking out the light and, more importantly, Jerry. Okay, yes, she couldn't cook, she thought with a sigh, but she didn't really care. Why was he here again? Why was he ever anywhere near her, actually? If this was the constant price she would have to pay for taking him on as a client, she could most certainly do without! She voiced that thought. "You know Jerry, most clients of mine don't take to stalking me. What's different about you?"
"Oh... Come now, you know exactly why I like to show up on your doorstep, sweetheart."
"No, no, I think I'm still trying to figure that one out." She enthused, her arm still laying across her eyes.
"Shall I demonstrate?"
She lifted her arm, her expression dead serious. "No."
"But I thought you wanted to know? And I might need a little more clarification myself, darling." He grinned again and she had to really try to stop herself from feeling anything too cataclysmic since it was directed entirely at her. He shook his head then, slightly, but enough for her to notice, before he stood up and retrieved her phone. "Well then, I guess we're stuck with Metro Court food," he said a little sadly.
"If you don't want food from the Metro Court Jerry, Port Charles is a town filled with other places to eat."
"I simply find myself eating from there all the time, I rarely go anywhere else, so I wouldn't know; anyways, I'm not even hungry, my dear, it's you I'm calling for." She groaned internally; why on earth did he make life so complicated? Sure he wasn't hungry, she believed that now. "But I'm glad your attitude is turning around so quickly. We're bound to get along much better if you cooperate."
I--what?" She felt too sluggish to keep up with whatever he was going on about now. "Never mind, don't tell me, I don't want to know." She blew out her cheeks, feeling tired and useless and she was stuck with an unwanted guest that she couldn't do much about in her state. Who knew how long he'd be there?
Why was it always her?
'You don't really mind.' A voice in the back of her head whispered. 'You like having him around and you know it.'
No, she really did not.
"What would you like?" Jerry asked, dialing his brother's hotel number, sending her a quizzical glance.
Giving in, she told him what she felt like having at that second before closing her eyes and relaxing against the soft cushions, wondering if she could make herself fall asleep so she didn't have to entertain -- what the hell, she didn't have to do that in the first place anyway! She heard the click of the phone, letting her know Jerry was finished ordering and she waited for what was going to come out of his mouth next, ready to fight back with barbed words and calm emotions.
And when nothing did, she started to feel a little uneasy...
Until a weight settled down on the other end of the couch and, because she was stretched out which left him no room, he laid her calves across his own legs as he seemed to make himself comfortable. Her eyes shot open and she forced herself to push herself up onto her forearms so she could look at him. He caught her gaze and in that silky and sly voice, too quietly, he said, "isn't this nice?"
"No. There's another couch over there, you know."
"But why sit over there when I could have the pleasure of sitting right next to you?"
"Oh, I don't know, perhaps out of courtesy, but I had forgotten for a moment that you don't have any." She snapped, flopping back down and bringing her legs up off of Jerry to rest just in front of his leg.
"Touchy, touchy... If I was any other person of course, I might move for you, but since I'm not... Besides, I quite like our little arrangement." His eyes sparkled with mischief and she watched him incredulously.
"You know, if I didn't know any better, which unfortunately I do, I would think you that are obsessive and I would think I should run in the other direction -- you would scare a lot of innocent women off, Jerry, I'm amazed that you haven't before."
"Alexis, someone like me does not scare women off." He shared haughtily and he could tell that egotistical remark had pissed her off and she was just waiting to let him have it. He didn't give her any time to act on that impulse, however. "And secondly, you don't need to worry, darling, because I save this special treatment only for you." He enunciated his words with a series of gentle pats on her knee and she knew she had to do something to ward him off because she could feel his proximity getting to her.
And not in the way she wanted.
"Actually Jerry, if you're willing to make yourself so useful to me, could you please turn off the fire?"
"Just stop while you're ahead." She said, raising her eyes to the heavens, reading the connotation he had to put into everything he did. He chuckled and got up, giving her a moment to get a hold of herself as he found the switch for the fire. Luckily, a knock on her door saved her for a minute or two more and she made herself comfortable again before realizing that she really was too hot -- she needed to get up and change. Wearing a heavy sweatshirt and fuzzy pajama pants had seemed and felt wonderful earlier, maybe, but now it was far too much clothing.
"Well, hello..." She heard Jerry speak to the carrier at the door. "You really are quite efficient, I am impressed with your speed in getting here..." They indulged in a fair amount of small talk and Alexis guessed that he wasn't lying about being at the Metro Court a lot if he and an employee were comfortable enough to talk with each other for more than a minute. Standing a little shakily due to the lightheadedness sickness brought along, she started to make her way to her bedroom.
Jerry must have noticed or perhaps the carrier saw her walking by and had given her stricken stance a questioning gaze so that he would take notice, because no sooner had she made it past the couch, Jerry shut the door and put the food down on the table before making his way over to her. "You must be quite sick if you can hardly stand to walk."
"I'm just tired and... Tired." She tried to clear her head a little and found that opening and closing her eyes hurt more than before now -- was she getting worse? Possibly, she thought wryly, and three guesses why.
"Eloquent. Well, you are sick, let's remember. Why are you walking?"
"I need to change out of these... Clothes. They're too much right now, it's way too hot in this house."
"Well," he said, making her give an involuntary squeal when he scooped her up into his arms, "all you had to do is ask. I'm not so cruel I would watch you hobble your way around the house."
"I was not hobbling!" She protested, glaring up at him after making sure she had her arms securely around his neck so she wouldn't fall. "Jerry Jacks, put me down!"
'Not that he would let you fall and you know that -- you feel safe in his arms.' That voice in her head was back.
She firmly ignored it because, deep down, she knew it was true.
Jerry Jacks, formerly aliased James Craig and James Brosnan, a hostage-taker, a constant dabbler in the mob, the man who had poisoned Nikolas and who had threatened both Robin and Emily, made her feel safe. Secure. Warm. Like she was a woman worth going after because of all the attention he spared her.
"I'd love to hear what you call that very elegant walk you had going on there, then. And honestly, Alexis, this is going to get you there much faster." He was oblivious to her thoughts and emotions and she was grateful, of course, but it made her no less uncomfortable to have him so close while she was thinking all of these things around him and about him.
She didn't want to fall for him. She didn't want to fall for another man with a shady history and a gloom ridden outlook in life, but she was no doubt never going to stop attracting their type, nor was it looking like she'd ever stop finding and wanting their type herself.
She was inexplicably doomed.
"Will you be needing my assistance?" He asked when he had brought her up to her door and was setting her back on her feet. She had to grasp the doorknob behind her for support because he was far too close to her. He was affecting her more than she thought he could.
But she stood her ground with a twist. "Yes, Jerry, I do need your assistance." He saw shock run through his features, but he managed it well. "You can start by walking out the front door." She continued as she opened the door and, after flashing him a sweet smile, she shut the door in his face, leaving him standing on the other side with a frown marring his face.
"Alexis, you play dirty. I love that." He chuckled and she could hear his footsteps quieten as he walked away, leaving her to change.
"God." She breathed, frustrated and she let herself lean her forehead against the door for a second to calm herself. She wanted nothing more than to let out the aggravated growl that had been building up in her chest since he'd arrived, but she didn't want him to hear and to give him the satisfaction, so she bit it back. She hurried as much as she could, throwing on a black tank top and thin cotton pajama pants that kept fairly cool but would keep her warm should she start to feel cold again, before grabbing a throw to bring with her. She left the room quietly and she moved just as silently, not wanting to bring Jerry to her "rescue" again. She had made it as far as the entrance to her living room when he noticed her.
"You could have said something," he said, rolling his eyes exasperatedly and standing to carry her back. He settled down beside her again after setting her down on the couch and she took care to be sitting up this time instead of laying down so she wouldn't find herself in another... Predicament.
"You look lovely, darling." He said, throwing a smile at her.
"I guess it was too much to hope you'd be gone." She deadpanned, defiantly fighting back a blush at his words, not to mention the butterflies.
"We need to work on those conversational skills, Alexis. And you do not like compliments, do you? I give them so freely, too." He shook his head. "You are being more temperate than usual, are you sure you are just sick? Is something wrong?"
She sighed. She knew she was being far too rude to him, but she couldn't help it -- she felt too exposed to him, more now than ever before and it was disconcerting. Letting herself relax completely for a moment, she felt all the aches and pains come back to her in a rush. She just felt so... Vulnerable. "I'm sorry, Jerry."
He was immediately filled with concern because he could see how tired she was and how weighed down she looked. He recognized that whatever ailed her obviously had something to do with the tiredness, but he hadn't ignored the fact that she'd always looked like the world had been against her, try as she might to hide it.
"I just..." She huffed as soon as she started and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not used to people trying to take care of me like this, is all."
"But surely Jax, Sam and--"
She shook her head, cutting him off. "It's different with them."
"Because I am a probable suitor and they are... Your friends? Family?"
"Who said anything about suitors?" Alexis bristled.
"Please, let's not deny the undeniable." Jerry waved a hand in the air dispassionately. "You are attracted to me and I, dear Alexis, am attracted to you. What is so wrong about that?"
"I am not attracted to you!"
"I believe you." Jerry replied, clearly not believing. "But anyway, you shouldn't have to be unused to this kind of treatment -- you deserve no less, in fact, you deserve more. Sometimes," he said, a note in his voice indicating that he was about to tease her in some way. "Sometimes I have to wonder why someone such as yourself would lower herself to be with those like... Oh, I don't know, Ric Lansing or Sonny Corinthos." He smiled. "Of course, then I remember that they might fall in the same line as me, though I can assure you the three of us are nothing alike -- well, I'm nothing alike to them." He corrected. "I would never have made you feel like you were undeserving of this and... Whatever else they may have made you believe that is simply untrue."
She stared at him for a long time. "That was a lovely speech, Jerry, thank you. I have to say, you sure like to paint yourself in an honorary light." She paused, giving him the look that clearly let him know how much she believed in that.
"What can I say?" He grinned, ignoring her expression or just not caring. "Now, eat." He said, shoving the food that she had completely forgotten he'd ordered for her into her hands. Looking down at it for a second, she realized that she was indeed hungry -- she was famished, actually. She managed to get through a little more than half of the food (it was quite a large meal!) and then she had no desire to do anything but doze.
She told him and he shrugged. "Movie? Do you often fall asleep to the TV?"
"Comes with the kids." She sighed. "Just put whatever you like in, it doesn't matter much to me anymore." She said, bringing the children into her reasoning again. He smiled.
"But you don't care." Jerry stated. "You would watch a movie you hated with your girls."
"Yes," she nodded. "I would."
"And that is why you are an extraordinary mother, darling. They're lucky to have you." He said sincerely, causing her to have to fight back a blush again.
"What exactly did I do to earn this high opinion?" She wondered aloud, laying herself out on her side on the couch once he got up. She threw the throw over herself and snuggled down into the cushions, trying to find a warmth that wasn't there. "I've never understood where it came from."
He shrugged again. "After watching you go through everything you've had to go through over the past year, year and a half..." He paused and seemed to hesitate, something she didn't think he'd done very much in his life. "You're a strong woman, Alexis. A lot of women wouldn't be where you are now after all that, happy and going on in life. Especially," he added with a lighter tone, "with that attitude of yours. It's admirable."
"Yes, well..." She cleared her throat, remembering. "I suppose it comes with being a Cassadine, too. Unable to accept death." She said dryly, thinking of Helena.
Jerry slipped a DVD into the player and grabbed the two clickers they needed before he resumed his spot and Alexis could feel him sitting there with senses as sharp as ever, the warmth of his body instantly tangible. She couldn't believe she was laying on the couch, barely dressed (to her standards) with Jerry Jacks -- and that he was attempting to take care of her.
Not that she was complaining... It was...
She had forgotten how good it felt, being cared for by someone with a genuine interest and by someone who refused to back down to her demands and her, dare she say it, insults. She had to commend him there, because he had definitely gotten the worst of her when he'd first walked in the door and he had repeatedly stood against her, again and again... Not that he had ever seemed to have a problem with that before today and more than likely he never would in the near future.
"So," Jerry started to say, but stopped when Alexis pulled the blanket that was covering her over her head. He gazed at her quizzically for a second before determining, after a moment where all thought had been erased from his mind at the rather comical sight, that she couldn't see through the throw. "Sweetheart, the black screen is not going to harm you, I swear." He said, referring to the movie he hadn't even started yet. "Honestly, the movie is not so bad yet--"
Frowning, he laid his hand down where he could feel the curve of her hip, hoping that the contact would be enough to shake her out of whatever this... Was. It always seemed to shake her up just a little bit, he thought. "Alexis?"
"A movie is not a good idea." Alexis said with a hint of nervous laughter in her voice, throwing the blanket off of her and standing up so fast she nearly lost her balance. "Not a good idea..." She muttered a little more quietly, just a little more frustratedly. "Why don't you... We..."
She was so flustered, it was hard not to laugh. "Oh dear, am I getting to you?" Jerry teased, throwing his arm over the back of the couch so he could face her better. "Darling, there is no need to be so wound up like this, I mean, we can easily get rid of this... Sexual tension anytime you wish. Or, perhaps, that's what you are worried about and in that case, if you want me to stop just for this one day while you are sick, all you have to do is ask. But I'm afraid that is all I can manage, one day. One."
"Right, because I should take your word for it after this unending chase you've got going on--"
"No, no, no, I do have perfectly gentlemanly skills hidden away, I swear to you." Jerry said, holding his hands up in surrender.
Alexis smiled sweetly. "Right. Uh huh."
He sighed. "You're being very difficult today." He had said as much earlier and it still rang true.
"Good. I'm glad." She said, tilting her head in what he thought to be a cute gesture before walking away from the couch to look out the window.
Gods her head hurt, she thought and she placed her forehead against the cool glass window and it staved off a bit of discomfort for just a minute.
"You really should try to sleep, Alexis. That is, of course, what will make you feel better more quickly and I really don't like watching you looking so sick. It's no fun to spar with you when you're..." He searched for the word that wouldn't set her off too much. "...Distressed." He said, standing and making his way over to her. "So let's make this your last travel from the couch, alright? Or perhaps you would like to actually get into your bed? More comfortable, I would hope? Please don't tell me you normally sleep on the couch, I can't take much more." He dramatized, laying his hand over his heart.
Alexis squeezed her eyes shut, breathing a little harder than usual. She was about to ask him something... Very wrong, very bad, very, very not like her. You could always stop while you're ahead, she thought. But she couldn't lie to herself and say that the idea wasn't appealing and wasn't what she wanted and needed more than anything else.
No, she was definitely not going to ask.
"Could you get me a glass of water and maybe grab a few medicine bottles that I can swallow up while I'm at it." She queried instead.
"Suicidal now? Why not?" And with that he left. For the moment.
She sighed and felt the unfamiliar prick of tears in the back of her eyes -- when was the last time she had cried? She'd been forcing herself not to, of course. Kristina couldn't speak -- or she wouldn't. She was suffering once again and she, her mother, hadn't been in control, hadn't been able to stop it from happening again. She felt more than alone these days, going back and forth from her office and the hospital and to meetings that she hadn't the time of day for...
That was why she was sick, she knew.
The truth was, she hadn't slept in days. She couldn't, she was too wound up, too strung out by everything and everyone.
She jumped, too lost in her thoughts to have heard him return. Swinging herself around, she had forgotten to wipe away the traces of tears.
He narrowed his eyes. "I knew something was wrong -- or perhaps it's me?" He lead her over to the couch and forced her to sit down, crouching down in front of her soon after. "I can leave if you want?"
She shook her head. "It's not you."
"Kristina." He ventured.
"Partly." She admitted, wiping the tears from her eyes, but to her shame more fell in their place; he had finally gotten to her.
"It's not your fault that she saw the killer. All she was doing was looking out the window, the window she probably looks out of at least once everyday. She will be fine, Alexis." He said, resting his hands on her knees and looking up at her with so much attention that she felt like crying some more.
Because he was listening.
She nodded, covering her face with her hands. "Right, right..."
"Come on." Jerry murmured quietly, moving to sit beside her to pull her into his arms. He leaned back and she went with him without a fight, because this was what she wanted, this was what she needed.
And if she was truthful to herself, she knew that Jerry was the one she thought of the most these days. This felt right to her, being wrapped within his strong arms, feeling him kiss the top of her head gently, mumbling soothing words that she couldn't make out and yet the sound of his voice was all she needed to hear and she was calm, despite the storm that was ravaging inside her.
"Why do you always do this to yourself? How many times have you broken down in my presence now?" He wondered aloud.
"One too many." She laughed goodnaturedly, trying to pull herself together, starting to see with horror that she had just completely lost it without preamble in front of him and that she was now using him as a proverbial tissue and pillow. "I'm sorry -- again -- Jerry. This is wasn't what you came here for." She started, rambling slightly, moving away from him--
Except he wouldn't let her move.
"No, no, no." He shook his head. "You can't be serious -- Alexis, it's not a crime to cry. Especially when you're of the female variety -- alright, alright," he amended quickly, feeling her tense. "Scratch that then. Just... Relax. Try to sleep. Feel free to indulge yourself as being my patient and I will gladly take the role of being your confidante for as long as you need." He said, shifting them around so that he was leaning against the arm of the couch and she was settled between his legs, lying comfortably on his chest, legs curled up around her, feeling...
She could feel him playing with her hair and saw she was doing something equally frivolous -- absently running the tips of her fingers in tiny patterns over his chest.
"I think this is enough for now." She breathed, closing her eyes and giving in.
One, because he wouldn't allow her to do anything else anyway.
And two, because she wanted to.
She was happy right where she was, even if only for a moment.
( AN. ) Awww. My current obsession and they are so worth obsessing over! They're my number one, most wanted couple -- and they're so funny together! They would be excellent, no doubt...