Morgue

Morgue.

Mental Anguish

Edward's Point of View

"Um…well…she was the person who was supposed to give me my autopsy," I stuttered. Who ever heard of a stuttering vampire?

"You are in so much trouble, Edward!" Alice chirped.

"Bella, I swear I would have stopped her but I would have given the poor girl a heart attack." Bella was slowly walking toward me with a look that could mentally beat you up. The fact that we were in a very crowded area and talking about the fact that I was supposed to get an autopsy was filling the air with confused thoughts. This is not good.

"Edward," Bella practically spit. "We need to have a talk, Mr. Cullen."

"Bella," I gulped. "Can we go somewhere a little more private?" Crap. She was still beating me the only way she could…with that beautiful brain of hers.

"Edward is in so much trouble," Alice chanted, as she danced around the store spinning a string…no a pair of underwear on her finger.

"Where do you want to go Mr. Cullen?" Bella stomped her foot and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Okay!" Alice yelled suddenly. "Back to the hotel room!" she instructed. Then she leaned toward Bella and whispered, "trust me you do not want to do this here we need to leave."

Alice grabbed her elbow and started dragging her then grabbed my elbow with her other hand and started pulling. That pixie is stranger than most people think. She dragged me right out of Victoria's Secret. She dragged me!

The limo was waiting for us at the nearest exit. Soon enough we were in front of the Embassy Suites building. It was very nice considering the other hotels. When we stepped inside I saw exactly why Alice had picked this hotel.

It was completely open inside with green plants everywhere. I know there was a generous amount of fake plants in there but it was very pleasant! I am sure my lovely infuriated fiancée would love it if she could give her eyes a break from beating me over the head with blunt objects. I may not be able to read her mind but as I said she was beating me thoroughly with her mind!

Alice had booked the corner executive suite. It had windows that curved around the corner and a table right in the nook of it. It might not be like a big city hotel but considering we were in Minnesota it really wasn't too bad. I bet there are some nice ones when you get into the heart of the twin cities.

"Okay!" Bella yelled. "Now that we're here let me say, Alice get those biters out your changing me so I can do some damage!"

"Bella, you're over reacting," I said putting my hands out in surrender. "She just took one little peek."

"You should have seen her face!" Alice giggled. "She looked like she had never seen one before!"

"You are not helping right now, Alice," I scolded through my teeth. "Please understand that if I would have stopped Miranda I would have caused her a lot more mental issues than I already have."

"I swear, I don't want to even think about what went through that vile woman's mind!" Bella yelled. This prank was the dumbest thing I had ever done! "And you thought that Mike was bad! This girl has seen you naked! Mike never saw me naked!"

"Yes, but I'm never going to see this girl again!" I pointed out to the love of my existence who returned to mentally beating the shit out of me. That is if I was human and could have that happen.

"Think again, brother," Alice said sickeningly sweet. "Her and Jonathon hopped a plane to get married at the mall! Hmm…maybe I could convince Jasper to marry me at the mall. I mean there isn't anything more romantic than a mall…"

"What are you talking about Alice?" I asked trying to sound calm.

"She called that delivery boy up and they are headed toward the mall now! Oh, we should head back over there soon because I want a word with her about her dress choices," Alice said with a look of concentration on her face. "That dress would be perfect on her."

"She can't see me Alice! That would be a bad thing!" I yelled.

"Unless you are going to let me loose on that girl you better not expect me to step foot in that mall until she's gone!" Bella said, as she tapped her foot.

"Don't worry, Bella," Alice sighed, waving her hand at my sweet Bella. "Edward is going to be here doing exactly what we tell him to!"

"Whatever we tell him?" Bella smirked at my evil pixie of a sister.

"Yep! Go into the bedroom and change into the clothes that are on the bed, Bella," Alice giggled.

"Alice this is ridicules!" I said in despair. I didn't want to leave e Bella's side it is just too hard to be away from her. And if Alice didn't stop singing that evil song from Hairspray she was going to have to deal with being thrown out the corner window!

"Calm down Edward," Alice said dismissively. "This will help Bella in the long run and it will be really funny for me to watch!"

"Why is this important?"

"Because it's a wedding," Alice said trying to make me understand something but honestly I was lost. "You two are getting married in two weeks. Bella still has a bit of cold feet. If we help plan this wedding it will help her with the wedding!"

"Sometimes I want to kiss you for your ideas, other times I want to rip your arms off. But if you don't stop some of that singing I will be forced to do something drastic!"

"You wouldn't!" Alice gasped. "I saw it! You can't do that to those poor innocent shoes!"

"Pick a song that doesn't want to make me revisit the Volturi then!"

"Fine I'll sing that Linkin Park you seem to like so much," Alice pouted.

"I do like other music Alice."

"That's the band that usually pours out of your expensive speakers," Alice smirked.

"Just go back to the mall already," I sighed waving my hand from her to the door.

Alice went into the bedroom with Bella and I tuned out Alice's banter about proper makeup techniques and her awful interpretation of Linkin Park. After fifteen long minutes Alice entered the room in a black cocktail dress that showed too much of her for my liking. The only reason I even know what a cocktail dress is that Alice and Rosalie got board one day and decided to make their own fashion school in our living room because all of us boys were "fashion impaired." Bella emerged in a sapphire blue knee length satin dress that had black lace over the top of it. She was utterly breathtaking and thankfully that couldn't hurt me.

"Bella, I think I just fell in love with you all over again," I smiled lovingly, as I walked over to her. Surprisingly she didn't pull away when I wrapped my arms around her. She seemed to be starting to show me some mercy. Thank God for that!

"You have been granted one kiss, Edward Cullen, use it wisely," Bella smirked. That was a major improvement from the mental beatings I had suffered. I moved my lips to hers and kissed her with all of my strength and all of my restraint. I had to admit I was looking forward to a more durable Bella. I let my hands drop farther down Bella's back so they were resting on her lower back just where her wonderful butt started. Bella gasped and it reverberated across my lips. I had to fight to keep my mouth closed, there was no way I was letting her near my teeth.

Alice faked a cough from across the room and Bella jumped away from me and started blushing immediately.

"I'm sorry Alice," Bella whispered.

"I'm not," I laughed. The two ladies who I had forgotten were infuriated with me began glaring. The mental beatings had started all over again.

"We have a wedding to attend, ado," Alice chirped, as she dragged Bella toward the door. "Remember to keep that brain of yours listening to mine. I know you can handle at least three miles and the mall isn't even that far away."

"Yes Alice," I replied sounding like a child who had just been sent to their room.

They left me sitting in our room staring out the corner window watching the limo that carried the love of my existence drive away. I was thankful that Alice was driving away because her Panic at the Disco sucked. She kept forgetting lines and then leaving them blank. I don't know how the girl could remember every word of a Spice Girls' album but forget entire lines from other bands.