I kept asking myself, was something wrong with me? Was I not good enough for him? Was I that bad of a girlfriend for him to stoop that low? Was I?
Was he not happy? Did I not make him happy?
Wasn't it only the other day, you drove me home and kissed me good night? Wasn't it just last week, you told me you would never ever hurt me?
Today was the crappiest day my life will ever have. Today was the day I found out what happened, what really happened. I knew something was wrong, I kept asking him, but he told that it was nothing, and I was stupid enough to believe him.
I knew something happened that night, I knew something wrong happened. The nervous glances whenever I talked to her and he was next to me, the awkward moments were hard to miss, we could all see it, but they continued to deny anything ever happened.
I woke up late that morning; I was busy trying to make a new song for the theater. I rubbed my eyes and tried to find my cell phone on my bed. I found it and noticed there was one text message, from her. It said that she was sorry, and she regretted what happened and hoped for me to forgive her. I didn't understand a thing she said, why was she apologizing to me? Did she do something wrong?
And then the phone suddenly rang, I picked it up and began to talk. It was Ryan, my boyfriend for 7 months. He asked me if he could come over later this afternoon, he said he had some things to explain and that he was really sorry.
Why were a lot of people apologizing today?
I shook my head of stupid thoughts, and just continued with my day. And then, afternoon came, which meant he would be stopping by anytime to explain. As I waited, I began to put the pieces together, I began to slowly understand. By the time the doorbell rang, I knew what had happened.
All the awkward, nervous glances, both of them suddenly apologizing out of the blue, I understood it.
I stood up from the couch and prepared myself, I gathered all the courage I could muster and opened the door. Usually, whenever I would see him, I would forget anything sad and just be the happy person I am. Whenever he was around, I felt so alive, so happy. But when I saw him, I could read his eyes perfectly. What I thought was true, his eyes were red, probably from crying, his eyes were clouded with sadness and regret.
He wrecked what we had. I felt like I was living in a bubble, and he got out a needle and popped it. I nodded for him to come in; I sat on the couch, got a pillow and hugged it tightly. He sat next to me silently. We stayed there for a couple of minutes before I decided to just ask him, he clearly wasn't going to talk.
"Please tell me what happened." My voice croaked, I never was the strong one. He turned his head and looked me directly in the eye, I felt myself break even more, and he looked so lost, so alone in this world. Why was he having this effect on me still? I was supposed to be angry at him; I was supposed to be furious. He was lost, and I wanted to be the one to find him and tell him that I'm here and everything would be okay.
He was talking, but I clearly wasn't listening. I was too focused on his face, studying every feature. From his beautiful, blue eyes to his perfect lips. Why did he have to do this to me? Was I not enough for him?
I shook my thoughts and began to listen to him.
"..There was a lot of alcohol in the party, and I had a lot. I stumbled towards Jason's guest room, and just lied on the bed. Trying to drown the loud music away, and then, she came in the door.
"Hello." I slurred, standing up but stumbling back down on the bed.
She chuckled and smiled, "Are you really that drunk?"
"No.." I said, "I just lost balance."
"Really now?" She giggled, "Well, I think I've had too much to drink." She stumbled on the bed, lying next to me.
I sat up and looked at her, "You're drunk Gabi-ella, really wasted." And then, I stupidly fell off the bed, "I'm okay, but I think I need one more drink."
"But, you're drunk Ry." She commented.
I shook my head, "I don't care, I'm thirsty." And then, we ran downstairs to get some more.
I don't remember how much we drank after that, but all I know is we somehow ended up back in the room, which is really surprising because we were really drunk, I don't know how I got up those stairs without rolling back down. I also remember singing "The itsy bitsy spider""
I glared, "Would you just get to the point? Please?!" I snapped.
"Err, yeah. Well, we were lying on the bed, laughing, before I started saying things I shouldn't have. You know what I do when I get drunk, I talk a lot. I want you to know Kels, that I'm really, really sorry for this. I know you'll hate me with a passion after I say this." I watched him take a deep breath, I was starting to imagine what he did.
"As I said, we were laughing and joking around when I suddenly blurted out that she was the most magnificent girl I've ever met. She shook her head at me and laughed. She said that it wasn't true. I knew I should've stopped there, I wished I just passed out. But I didn't, I continued telling her things. I started to tell her how happy I am that she moved to East High and how happy I am when she broke up with Troy. And then I started to tell her how much I loved her. I said some other things too, but I don't think it'll be right to tell you the other stuff."
I looked up and glare, "Tell me Ryan! What could possibly be worse than hearing you say that you loved her?!" Tears were threatening to come down, but I somehow managed to stop it.
I saw him look down guiltily and stopped talking. I sighed and barely whispered, "Would you at least have the decency to tell me what else happened?" He nodded and took another deep breath.
"After I told her that, she just stopped talking and laughing. I sat up and looked at her; I told her that I shouldn't have said that. She agreed with me, telling me that it wasn't right. But then again, I opened my big mouth and started talking again. I told her she was beautiful and I wanted to kiss her. She bolted up and surprised me when she kissed me." He took a deep breath before turning his head away, so he didn't look at me directly. "And then the kisses grew more heated, and then we just couldn't stop."
I felt it, I heard it, and I felt my heart shatter in a million pieces. I heard the pieces of my heard break. It hurt so much, I just wanted to reach something valuable and throw it so it would break. I wanted to let go of all my frustrations, I wanted to hit him. I wanted to march over her place and break her just like what they did to me. "I thought we both wanted to be our firsts. But I guess only one of us did."
He looked down, doing his best not to look at me. "I know Kels, and I'm really, really sorry. And I hope you'd somehow forgive me for the awful things I've done. I regret it, we both do."
I chuckled darkly, "Yeah, I bet you do." I muttered, rolling my eyes. I was surprised that there were no tears falling down, I felt so upset, so hurt.
"What?" He snapped his head up, looking at me. "Kelsi, do you honestly think we both wanted our first time at a friend's guest bedroom? Add the fact that we were completely wasted? I wasn't the only one who screwed up their entire life that night. I lost my girlfriend, and my best friend, because of one stupid mistake. I know you hate me with a burning passion, Kelsi, but I honestly thought you knew me better than this. I would take this all back, if I could, but I can't. She's different, she's like me addiction, and there's no rehab to help me."
I refused to believe him when he started to shake; I turned my head away when I started to see him let a few tears fall. Deep down, I knew he liked her, but I was blinded. And then, he started to like me, and then I forgot about everything. I tried to believe that he liked me, and not her.
I was the second choice, I was the left over.
We sat there in silence. The only thing you could hear was him, wiping his tears, trying to stop. I didn't know how I did it, but I wouldn't let any tears fall. Not a single one fell.
After awhile, I watched him get up and walk towards the door.
I knew I had to ask this one question, I knew I needed to know the answer. "Was she worth losing what we had? Was she worth it?" I asked.
He turned around, and looked me directly in the eye. I could see the sadness, "Yes." I heard his husky voice said, and then he left.
That one word was all I needed.
I broke and finally allowed my tears to run freely.
AN: So, that was Ryella/Ryelsi. It was just an idea that popped in my head.
To the readers of "I Drove Him Away", I'm really, really sorry for the delay. I'm just trying to make a good enough ending for you guys. I assure you, before March ends, you will have the finale. Again, I'm sorry for the delay. )
I do not own the characters.