He was sure he had heard something. Zoro looked out the window, still groggy from his last nap. The ship was completely quiet, standing still since it was dark and Nami was still acting funny. It was probably nothing, but why couldn't he shake that weird feeling in his stomach. The feeling he always got when…

He got to his feet and half climbed, half jumped down on the deck. He looked around, but couldn't see anything. Still there was something wrong. He walked to the edge of the boat and looked down at the water below. There, bubbles. He threw the katanas on the deck and jumped into the water.

There she was, still in her pyjamas. Lifeless. He swam down and grabbed her before resurfacing. Climbing up the anchor he finally placed her carefully on deck.

"Nami."

He started to push down on her chest like he did with Luffy and Chopper.

"Nami what did you do?"

Finally she threw up the water, and curled over to one side. He fell backwards on his butt, panting, just looking at the woman crying and gasping for air next to him.

"You could have died?"

"Maybe that would have been best?"

He was in shock, more now than earlier when he had seen her drunk. Weren't she the one to say if you're alive, you shouldn't talk about dying? Weren't she the one who loved life so much she would stay alive for any cost except her friends?

"What?"

"I'm just a bother to the rest of you."

He didn't know what to say. How could she not understand?

"I know how much it annoys you to always have to save me."

"No it doesn't."

He got to his feet and helped her to hers. Holding her tight as the wind softly caressed them both.

"How can you not see how much you do for this crew?"

She was shaking and suddenly turned limp in his hands. Her body was ice cold as he picked her up and carried her to the men's bedroom. Not knowing what to do, except getting Chopper.

--

Chopper sat down next to the sleeping body, feeling completely empty. She had been in a lot worse condition than any of them had thought, just considering all of her wounds that he now finally could check out. He looked up as Robin came in and sat down next to him.

"The rest want to know how she is?"

"She's alive."

Chopper got tears in his eyes as he looked at Robin.

"What are going to do?"

Robin looked away, not wanting him to see her own tears.

"I don't know Chopper."

"Nami would have known."

Robin looked down on the sleeping girl. Her tears make small puddles on the sheets.

"She probably would Chopper. She probably would."

--

She had slept for two full days. Chopper had said that was a good thing. That it gave her body time to heal. He didn't say it also stopped her from hurting herself more. That was just implied.

But after two days she opened her eyes, got out of bed, and walked outside. The entire ship stopped and ran to her side.

"Nami."

"Nami-san."

"Nami-chan."

She looked through them. Like they weren't there.

"I'm leaving. When we dock on the next island I'm leaving the crew."

The whole crew turned mute with shock. Some eyes were filled with water, but no one commented on that.

"Why?"

She looked up at her captain, and pure hate shone in them.

"Why? Why?"

Her voice was shaking as she screamed.

"I'm not strong Luffy. Not like you. And I… I waited for you. I screamed you name. I screamed it so loud my voice turned hoarse. I screamed so much they tried to smother me. I even screamed your name when…"

Some understood. Some didn't.

"But you didn't come. You didn't save me. I wasn't strong enough to get myself out of trouble, and if I can't protect myself from these pirates, how am I supposed to protect myself in the New World?"

She was crying.

"How are you supposed to become the pirate king when you have so weak nakamas that you don't even care to save them?"

Her knees buckled, but she didn't care. She had said what she had needed to say. Falling to her knees wasn't such a big problem now. But she was surprised when she suddenly found arms around her.

"You're not weak Nami."

She was so surprised she stopped crying.

"I'm sorry I didn't save you, but you are not weak. You know I can't be pirate king without you. You know I would never find the way there if not for you. And you know I don't have weak nakamas."

She wanted to hate him. She wanted to hate him so much, but as he talked his words, as they always did, forced themselves into her mind and touch her the same way as back before he defeated Arlong.

He let go of her before giving her the log pose. She looked at it, at him, at it again. Before she took it and fastened it around her wrist. His smile forced itself over to her, bringing out her own. She looked at the log pose, before jumping to her feet. A wet wind hit her from the right. She turned and looked at it.

"Cyclone. Everyone, we have to turn left, now."

The others started to run, with the exception of Zoro. She walked over and hit him on the back of the head.

"Now, or you have to pay me 100,000 Beli."

He rubbed his head as he walked away, but Nami would have sworn he was actually smiling.