Well everybody, here it is. The last chapter of Public Affairs...
I really really /really/ hope you guys like this, endings are sooo hard, the hardest things to write because they have to be a thousand times more perfect than each chapter and are so easy to be disappointing - the amount of times I've read an amazing book/story, loved every minute and then absolutely hated the ending.
So I damn well hope this doesn't happen with this!
It's short but I poured everything into this and it's taken me an unbelievably long time to write (I've had bits written here and there for ages) because it had to be perfect. But I'm happy with it. There was that moment when I finally typed the last line and went, /yes/. It's right.
I just hope you all think so too!
(And btw make sure you read everything in my A/N at the end! And I apologise for the stupid length of it now!)
It had started fairly innocently. Small glances and little smiles here and there that held secrets only the other knew - of their taboo little affair that they tried to keep concealed from the public. But as they found themselves getting in deeper, found their desires running stronger, people started to notice the badly concealed glances that held more than they should, the hand on the other that lingered too long. They noticed their flushed faces when they both re-appeared from wherever they'd been.
Then somehow their casual little affair had turned more serious - no, not somehow - Jimmy was how. Mrs. Lovett had become pregnant, leaving them with a problem and the option of keeping their affair private no longer possible.
And that's when their secret affair - which had never really been all that secret - was legitimised - and concealing the smiles and glances was no longer a necessity.
Of course it hadn't been as simple as that. Nothing ever was straight forward with the dark pair, neither was their path together smooth and straight. But perhaps the fact that they were still on it despite every twist, bump and obstacle only made it all the more right.
To say their relationship was unorthodox was an understatement - it was simply unheard of - twisted, scandalous, outrageous - but strong. So strong…and Mrs. Lovett often wondered herself how her love for her husband could still bubble through everything they'd been through - and everything he'd put her through. She wondered how but she was glad. She'd take the pain he'd caused her in a million different ways a thousand times over if she had to rather than lose that love.
As for Sweeney himself…the relationship had dealt him his fair share of pain. Perhaps his was more internal than hers - she didn't really know how she'd made him suffer silently on the inside…but like her, he wouldn't take it back. He truly believed she had saved him - saved his mind and saved him from an otherwise inescapable and despair filled death. She'd made him move on from the man he used to be…although she'd also made him realise that that man was the same as him, only younger, and more naive (and probably more stable minded) and that Sweeney Todd had really been inside Benjamin all along. So perhaps she'd always been meant for him this way, just as his destiny was to change into the darker man. It was funny how such good could come from such bad.
Mrs. Lovett had been disbelieving at first - she couldn't believe that the man she had been secretly in love with for as long as she could remember - yes, she had been in love with Sweeney Todd all along, she knew that now - she just didn't know during the time when she mistakenly thought it was Benjamin Barker she longed for - she couldn't believe he could love her back. She'd dreamed and hoped - maybe even pretended a little at the start - but now she knew without a doubt that he had fallen for her too and she would never doubt this again - how could she? They were so right for each other in a perfectly imperfect way that it had all been so inevitable from the start.
Yes, he loved her - how could he not when what they had was so real?
Mrs. Lovett had learnt so much from Sweeney Todd. She'd learnt that it was true what they said; love really did know no bounds, it was truly unconditional - on her part for certain - and she liked to think on his part too. She'd learnt that strong emotions could be dangerous - the most dangerous things in the world. His feelings of hate had consumed his thoughts, enslaved his mind and controlled his life, twisting him into the dark and dangerous man he had become.
But the feelings of hatred were gone now, dead with the judge to leave room - a lot of room - for new feelings. Feelings she had only been too happy to bring out in him.
She'd watched them grow, as without the all the hate and anger covering and overriding them, they been able to finally do so. She'd watched happily as they became stronger and stronger, and how he slowly came to begin to tentatively accept them.
She didn't worry about the state of her husbands mind now, she had convinced herself that the love she'd put in there was healing it and his dangerous insanity was - perhaps not fading - but stabilising.
Yes, Sweeney Todd loved her now, he would admit that quite happily to himself - even say it to her (but not too often mind, he had his hard image to maintain of course) and now that he'd accepted that it was possible for him to have a life of his own, he finally felt free to embrace this feeling - rather than fight against as he had automatically done for so long.
He loved her, he needed her, everything about her, more than anything, he needed her to live, to breathe - even more than he'd needed his desperate revenge. He knew he loved her. He loved her more than he'd ever even thought it possible to love.
He'd realised all this one night - and allowed himself to realise it - and he'd even told her he'd realised it.
She'd been shocked when, as he lay half on top of her that night, he'd grabbed her hand when she'd slid it down his body and pushed it gently back, pulling away a little from her to lean up on an arm and stare down at her face.
She shifted her head on the pillow to look at him better, a little furrow in her brow. "Love?"
He dropped his eyes momentarily.
She was frowning with curiosity now. "What is it?"
His eyes snapped back to hers. "I love you." He told her, suddenly looking extremely serious.
She tried to not act as shocked as she felt by his statement, out of the blue as it was - usually she had to drag the words out of him - and then she was lucky if she succeeded. "I know love. I love you too."
He shook his head firmly. "But I mean - I really do - I really love you -" He was sounding a little funny, his brow crinkled and face so deadly serious, his eyes searching hers intently.
"Shh love," she cut him off. "It's alright, I know, I know you do."
She leant in for a kiss but he pulled back. "No - I'm trying to tell you…you really don't know how much you mean to me - you're everything I've got - you're everything…"
His eyes were still boring into hers and she could feel her own widening, feel her heart staring to beat faster.
"And Jimmy - both of you mean - the world to me, you're my whole life…"
Damn it was she crying!? She blinked back tears, determined not to ruin what he was saying.
"Nellie…" He brought a hand up to rest it on her cheek, his eyes roaming her face briefly. "I love you. I'm in love with you…I couldn't live without you now…"
That was it, she was in tears. And he held her as she cried so hard she couldn't even get out the 'I love you' back for several minutes. And when she was done crying and their sweet kisses became heated and desperate, he'd moved over her, and held her so tightly as he'd made love to her it felt like he'd never let go.
Was it possible to love someone too much? For if it was he knew he did…it was stronger than ever now, it took over his every sense, dominated his every thought, he was almost consumed by it…
Sweeney Todd had well and truly fallen in love.
But was it possible for that love to become so strong that it turned into something else?
x - x - x
And that my darlings, is the end.
But although it's the end of Public Affairs it's not the end of the story, the sequel is well on the way…
Sequel to 'Public Affairs'
Sweeney Todd was an obsessive, born from an obsession with revenge. But when that revenge was complete and his obsession dead along with it, it left a huge void in his mind - for a new obsession to fill…
Watch the trailer now!
The trailer is currently uploading on youtube now so will hopefully be online shortly, and it will give a clearer idea of the upcoming story. There will be a direct link at the top of my profile when it's done but that probably won't show up straight away cause this site is retarded...there's a link to my youtube page in my profile anyway. I don't know how long it will take before it uploads though, I think when I uploaded candyman it took a couple of hours.
And just a warning that it is a little hardcore! ;)
Please please go watch it cause it took me forever and a day to make cause I'm hopeless with vid editing programmes, I had to download another trail version of sony vegas to make it and I'm completely retarded when it comes to these sorts of programmes and it really didn't help that I accidently downloaded the Spanish version by mistake…! Duuuh...O.o. But I'm actually damn proud of the finished product so please go watch it now and tell me what you think cause I am absolutly dying for some feedback on it and what you think of the upcoming story!
So. I really really seriously hope you all liked the ending! Gosh it was so hard to get it just right…I must have written out the last few lines or so differently about a hundred times. The painful fluff at the end made me twitch like crazy and wanna slap myself…it was very necessary though…um if it seemed…too much…hopefully it will make more sense soon. Well hopefully it makes more sense now after seeing the title for the sequel and when you watch the trailer.
Now let me just explain the release date. So I know I said before that it would be out fast (and I do have the first chapter all ready to go so I wasn't just telling porkies) but I have decided that I won't put it up until the 30th September, and this is simply because of the fact that I'm taking my teaching (riding teaching that is) exam on the 29th and have a portfolio to get together for it and need to prepare and stuff - so I've decided it wouldn't be wise to start with the new story until after - cause otherwise I'll only end up distracting myself with it cause I'm like that. So this way I don't have an excuse and have to get my arse in gear cause it's incredibly important to me that I pass this!! :S
So I hope you will all understand and won't kill me for this! And remember…all good things come to those who can…wait…;)
Um I've explained this on you tube with the trailer but I will be posting the story on the 30th September at midnight - midnight my time - and I live in England remember so it will be up sometime in the evening of the 29th for all you guys who are in the states ;)
Alrighty so…I guess this is goodbye for now…you've no idea how weird typing this feels - I think it just hit me that this is the end of Public Affairs! Eek omg I'm gonna cry!! :'(
Take care all you wonderful, amazing people, I sure hope you're all gonna join me for the sequel - and I look forward to seeing you all (virtually) there! But if any of you feel like PMing me to say hey or even about anything random between then and now feel free - cause I'm gonna miss you guys!!
Love you! All of you!! Mwuh! Kisses, hugs and a trillion thank yous cause I never could have done it without you!
Okay I'm gonna finish there cause I actually am crying now!
L x O x V x E xxx Y x O x U
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Replies to un-signed in reviews: (Btw guys I'll stick my replies to the un-signed in reviews for this chap in the first chapter of obsession!)
Cheyenne - Yeah it is kinda funny to find those two words in the same sentence isn't it! ;) Lmao yes I'm sure Sweeney wouldn't have minded that at all (and I was tempted I must say - thought that was going a little too far though ;) Oh the sequel will be a pretty much direct continuation J Hahaha I cracked up from your story of setting the lawn and your jeans on fire…! Lol stupid indeed! I hope you still got the spider though ;) Thanks so much for your /incredibly/ long review (lol) hehe love ya hun! (hugs)
S.M Hoffman - Haha yeah it was about time huh!? ;) Awww bless ya, that sounds so embarrassing lmao! But hey, it still worked out in the end for you so I guess that's not so bad! Yep is was in there for a reason, it usually always is. /Usually/ LOL. Thanks so much hun! Love ya (hugs)
Jamie - Thanks love -true, pointless sex /is/ the best haha ;) Love you too hun! (huggles)
Sarah Brihene - Hehehe yes she did just say that! ;) Epic indeed lmao XD Naww don't cry, the sequel is on the way hun! Thanks so much sweetie, love ya! (huggles)
Vienna Cornell - Jimmy's a strong little tyke indeed! Lol I love that ;) OMG you spell definitely how I always wanna spell it with an a lol that's good I'm not the only one who does that haha! I'm so glad what she did at the end was one of your fave moments of the fic, it was one of mine too, I've waited a long time to be able to get her to do something like that and I think it felt as good for me as it did for her! ;) Omg…how did you manage that!? Lmao! Thanks for the review sweetie! Love ya! (huggles)
Miranda - Yeah Mrs. Lovett is badass now isn't she! Lmao ;) Nah of course I couldn't let Jimmy just die at the end like that! I can't believe I've only got one more chapter left of this either, writing it has gone so quick lol. Really, so do I haha ;) Well thanks for the review hunni, love ya! (hugs)