AN: I'm alive! Hehe. Sorry, I've been working on my other stories, I promise, but this one just sort of came out. It's a oneshot, funny, pointless, and more than likely ooc. Feel free to tell me if it sucks.
Major Disclaimer: I do not, I repeat do not, own Naruto. If I did, the fight between Sasuke and Itatchi would have ended about four chapters ago. Sorry if that's a spoiler for anybody. Also, I am in no way shape or form trying to bash veganism here, personally I respect anyone who has as much dedication as it takes to be a vegan. I'm just using it for plot, don't hurt me!
When team seven moved in together, things just fell into place.
Each member kept up with his or her own room. If another teammate had a problem with another's level of cleanliness, then they simply stayed out of his or her room. Well mostly they just stayed out of Naruto's room. But that's a different story.
They never had to wait on the bathroom, mainly because they all woke up at different times anyway.
They all did their own laundry. (This was Sakura's idea. She didn't want the burden of doing everyone's laundry, but neither did she want any of her male teammates handling her clothes.)
Everyone just did his or her part. Ironically, even Naruto did.
Even for meals the work was divided evenly.
Sakura did the grocery shopping. After all, what guy wants to be caught in a supermarket?
Sasuke cooked, when they actually had time to sit down and eat a nice meal. All those years of living by himself had actually given him decent culinary skills.
Naruto did the dishes; it was kind of all that was left.
Kakashi…well, he did everything else (which wasn't much).
When team seven moved in together, some things were just expected by the general population.
Naruto and Sasuke were expected to give Sakura her space for a little while, but then the apartment would eventually get too small for all four of them.
Naruto was expected to keep his room in a constantly messy state that was uninhabitable to anyone but him. He was also expected to finish his dishwashing chore in record time thanks to his army of kage-bunshins.
Sasuke was expected to get thoroughly sick of his teammates and spend a lot of quality time by himself, in his room.
Kakashi was expected to spend a lot of time away from home. Who wanted to be cooped up with a bunch of moody teenagers anyway?
Sakura was expected to buy groceries that benefited the household as a whole. Tomatoes for Sasuke, instant ramen for Naruto, and any other food items that she deemed healthy and or worthy of a purchase. Oh, and key lime pie for Kakashi.
When Sasuke cooked, he was expected to make meals everyone could eat. But of course they expected tomatoes to be an ingredient in everything he made.
Kakashi was expected to be late for every meal. Or not even show up at all.
Not that any of them would mind. It was just what they expected from each other.
When Team seven moved in together, certain things just started happening. Regardless of expectations.
Sasuke and Naruto gave Sakura plenty of space. She didn't seem to mind living with her boys in the slightest. This thoroughly surprised one Yamanaka Ino. Not to mention won a certain Nara Shikamaru some cash.
Naruto actually kept his room in a decent state of order, so much so, that Sakura didn't mind going in every once and a while to get something from him or to ask him something.
Sasuke actually spent a decent amount of time out of his room and with the rest of the team. He didn't even complain when others came in to his room. This left the rest of his team dumbfounded.
Kakashi spent quite a bit of time home as well. But they suspected that was just because they kept key lime pie around.
Every once in a blue moon, Sasuke would even pull out a tomato-less meal.
Kakashi was only late for most meals…he was on time for few. But those involved key lime pie and that's another story.
Pleasant surprises the lot of them.
And then there was Sakura.
She had started off as expected: buying food that benefited everyone. Sasuke got his tomatoes, Naruto got his ramen and Kakashi got his key lime pie at least once a month.
However, Sakura should never have been left in charge of the grocery shopping after taking an extra nutrition course at the hospital.
Sasuke and Naruto were beginning to realize this as they stood in front of the open refrigerator.
Apparently Sakura had decided they weren't eating healthily enough.
"Do you think if we close the door and open it again all of the normal food will appear?" Naruto asked, half joking, half desperately hoping.
Sasuke was to busy glowering at the fridge's contents to even answer.
Which contained no ramen and no tomatoes. At all.
And they were hungry.
"Has Sakura gone grocery shopping yet?" Sasuke asked, half hoping this horrible nightmare was just their sensei getting back at them for not having key lime pie that month.
"Yes, why? Is there no food?" The aforementioned masked ninja asked as he entered the apartment through the window.
Sasuke groaned. "No, there's food."
Kakashi raise his eyebrow. "Then what's the problem?"
Naruto let out an exasperated sigh. "I think Sakura-chan's been spending too much time in that stupid class of hers. This looks like Ino-chan's fridge."
Their sensei peered over their shoulders to get a better look at the problem. What he saw troubled him greatly.
It was organic and vegan food. All of it. Even the drinks.
"Please tell me there's at least key lime pie in the freezer."
The blonde woefully shook his head. "No, and the cabinets have been filled with this stuff too."
Sasuke just stared at it. He was seriously considering practicing his new fire jutsu on the refrigerator.
All three men looked up as the door opened.
Sakura walked into the apartment, stopping when she noticed all three guys staring at her. Well, two anyway. Sasuke was still staring at the fridge like it was about to spontaneously combust.
"Um, why are you all standing there with the refrigerator door open?"
Naruto glanced back at the fridge. "Ummm. Sakura-chan, where's all our food?"
The pink haired kunoichi looked puzzled. "It should be in the fridge, I just went shopping this morning. Did you eat it all already?"
Kakashi mulled over words in his head, trying to think of a nicer way to express what he needed to say to his student.
Sasuke didn't bother to wait for more prudent words. He reached into the fridge, picked up a random food item and turned to Sakura. "Sakura, why the hell did you buy all this vegan shit?"
Sakura scowled. "It is not shit, Sasuke. It's healthy."
Naruto groaned. "Only if you're trying to kill us, Sakura-chan. Where's my ramen?"
"And my pie."
Sakura huffed. "I didn't buy any. Do you know unhealthy all that crap we normally eat is? The stuff I bought today is much healthier."
"Why didn't you buy tomatoes? I thought those were considered vegan." Sasuke accused as he went back to staring at the fridge.
"Because we eat way to many of them, haven't you ever heard of too much of a good thing?" She bit back.
All three answered simultaneously. "No."
Sakura sweat-dropped. "It's bad for you."
The three guys looked at each other. "Not true."
"It is too!"
"It is not, Sakura-chan. Why can't we eat regular food like normal people? I don't want to eat like Ino-chan."
"I just want some freaking pie."
"There's no way you can expect me to eat this shit."
Sakura glowered at her teammates. "Well tough. I do the grocery shopping and this I what I bought."
"With the money we earned as a team!"
"YOU'RE EATING IT, DEAL WITH IT!"
And with that the kunoichi stormed off to her bedroom to take a much-deserved shower. Those ungrateful idiots just couldn't see how good this change would be for them.
At the last moment, she yelled back: "And whatever you do you better not waste that food!"
The three male members of team seven looked at each other.
Sasuke glanced back at the food. "Well, any ideas?"
Kakashi shrugged, he didn't really want to evoke the wrath of his female student. But this vegan stunt was just way too over the top.
Naruto stared at the food for a minute. "I have an idea."
The blonde glared at his teacher and his friend. "Normally, I would agree, but this one's actually good."
The Uchiha glared at him skeptically. "Fine. Let's hear it."
Half an hour later a much calmer Sakura walked into the kitchen. Humming slightly to herself, she opened up the fridge to get a snack.
Only to find it totally and completely empty.
Needless to say our favorite kunoichi was, for lack of better wording, extremely pissed off. And so, the hunt for her dick-headed teammates began.
After concluding that the ungrateful bastards were no longer in the apartment, (or had suddenly become experts at shutting up and masking their chakra) Sakura set off for the team seven training field. Those idiots had no clue about the world of hurt they had gotten themselves into.
As she approached the training ground, the pink hair kunoichi heard the faint sounds of laughter echoing over the trees. It took her another few seconds of walking to discover why.
Sasuke and Naruto stood in the middle of the field practicing their ninja skills. Sasuke was practicing is fire jutsus, while Naruto using the time for target practice.
By trying to hit the food items that Kakashi threw into the air over their heads.
The food items that Sakura had purchased that morning.
A ground shaking punch alerted the three to her presence.
Sasuke glared into space as Sakura yelled at them.
Naruto scowled and nursed the bump on his head from Sakura's punch.
Kakashi had fled the scene the moment Sakura's fist had touched the ground.
Meanwhile their pink haired teammate yelled herself hoarse about everything from personal insults to wasting food that could have been used to feed those in need and how they were both ungrateful pigs. Or at least something along those lines, they weren't really listening. Which was expected.
Finally, Sakura took a deep breath. "AND WHOSE STUPID IDEA WAS THIS ANYWAY?"
Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other, and then glanced in the direction their teacher had run off. They looked back at Sakura. "It was Kakashi-sensei's idea."
Sakura yelled several choice profanities about the masked ninja and promptly took off in pursuit.
Sasuke and Naruto watched as she ran off, smiling to themselves (well, smirking in Sasuke's case).
Sasuke glanced back toward Naruto. "So, Ichiraku's for dinner, dobe?"
The blonde grinned. "Definitely, teme." He took one more fearful glance after Sakura. "You think she'll ever figure out this was your idea?"
Sasuke involuntarily shuddered. "I hope not."
As they headed back into town Naruto scowled. "I still say if we'd hidden all the food in Ino-chan's fridge like I'd suggested we wouldn't have gotten caught."
AN: Well, there it is. Sorry if it sucked, feel free to tell me how much it did. (Or if it was good, feel free to tell me that too)
For those of you who care, I'm still working on my other three stories, I'm just having some plot issues at the moment. Also, the ideas for a new Naruto story and a Yu-Gi-Oh GX story are in the works, but I won't post them until I've finished the three I've already started. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, and even if you didn't, thanks for the read.