So, I'm willing to bet you never really thought I'd update this story. And I didn't either. The past couple of years have been interesting, to say the least, and I haven't been writing due to some really crappy stuff in my personal life. However, when the urge to pick this up again hit me, I decided to try. I'd love for you to let me know what you think. If not, no big deal. Enjoy! I don't know when or if I'll update this story again. But I'm glad to have written at least one more one-shot.

Strip Poker

"So y're tryin' t' convince me dat y' can beat me at poker?"

"Ah don't need to convince ya." She gave him a cocky grin, her green eyes flashing in amusement. "Ah'll prove it."

"Mm, I like a challenge." He purred, moving closer with a grin of his own. "Y' shouldn' challenge dis man, Roguey. Not when de stakes are so high."

"Bring it on, Swamp Rat." She tilted her face so their lips were nearly touching. He could feel her breath warm on his lips. "Ah'm not scared of ya."

"Think I already figured dat out." He replied, reluctantly pulling away to pull out a deck of cards. "Y're still makin' a mistake, River Rat. Not dat I mind. Y'r loss is my gain."

"Yer just actin' cocky 'cause ya don't wanna lose that precious trenchcoat of yers." She leaned back in her chair with a smirk.

Remy LeBeau raised an eyebrow at her. Just a few years ago, the girl known only as Rogue wouldn't speak a word to him. And now they were sneaking away to hotel rooms to play strip poker.

Not that he minded, of course.

"Deal 'em, Swamp Rat." She took a lazy sip of her bourbon. God, he loved a girl that could drink.

"Y' trust moi? I might stack de deck." He winked at her. "Gotta say, hope y're wearin' de red ensemble. Y' know it's dis Cajun's favorite."

"Why don't ya wait and see?" She rolled her eyes at his impatience.

He dealt the cards swiftly, grinning at each win and easily shrugging off each loss (literally - he liked to lose the top half of his clothing first in these games). Perhaps theirs was a strange relationship. They met often in private, away from their respective groups. It had taken him five months, after the Apocalypse incident, to convince her to meet for coffee. It had taken another two to convince her to come to dinner. By the time he convinced her to kiss him, they had been on speaking terms for nearly a year. He remembered the day she gained control of her powers – the day, in fact, she suggested the first of their many games.

And the day he first made love to the woman he couldn't get out of his mind.

"Ya know, Ah think Ah'm coming out ahead this time." She grinned at him mischievously, handing him her shirt with no chagrin. It was hardly a concession, considering he was had lost his trenchcoat, shirt, and both socks.

"F'r now. I like t' let y' t'ink y're winnin' and den steal it all." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Remy LeBeau, ya would never let me win. Yer too conceited." She pointed out.

"Dat's just what I want y' t' t'ink. Dat way, y' trust moi and I get t' steal all y'r clothes."

She couldn't help but grin as she rolled her eyes. She knew at some point their clandestine meetings would be discovered- she was surprised she'd managed to keep their relationship under wraps for a year and a half, considering the gossip mill at the Xavier Institute. Perhaps her private nature played in her favor, especially now that they were all out of school.

A few hands left them both in the bare minimum, though neither seemed to terribly mind. This was the fun part, after all, toying with one another.

"One hand left, and ya lose." She gloated with a smirk.

"Y' only have deux until y' lose, River Rat." He countered. "An' I never lose when de stakes are dis high."

"Ah can think of one or two occasions where ya did just that." She pointed out cheerfully, draining the last of her drink. He opened his mouth to reply-


Both jumped up at the sound of an explosion and exchanged a nervous look. While neither was exactly a stranger to such events- membership in either the X-Men or the Acolytes led to a regular occurrence of explosions- this was not a welcome interruption to their secret tryst.

"What was tha-" Rogue began but was interrupted by the ground shaking. Cracks ran down the wall, and dust rained from the ceiling onto their heads.

"If dat's Avalanche, he is de king of cockblocking." Remy gritted his teeth.

"We're fifteen miles outta Bayville, why would that be Lance?" Rogue countered with a frown. "Should we go out there?"

"Non." He shook his head. "If we go out dere, we have t' help fix de problem. An' dis is my night off."

"Maybe it's over?" She suggested hopefully.

"Oui, 'cause we tend t' have dat kind o' luck." He rolled his eyes as a second earthquake rocked the room. It was followed by a second series of explosions and loud voices began to fill the hallway.

"Let's get dressed-" Rogue reached for her clothes as the door burst open. A wrestling Logan and Sabretooth tumbled into the room.

"Merde." Remy groaned.

"What the hell- Stripes?" Logan shoved the other man to the ground and glared at the young woman in front of him. "Where are your clothes?"

"On the floor." She answered defiantly, trying to quell the fire burning in her cheeks. "Ah'm occupied."

"Gambit?" Sabretooth stared at his teammate, momentarily forgetting his rival.

"Bonjour." Remy replied irritably.

"Wolverine, I've got your-" Hank burst into the room, clearly planning to help his friend in the fight against his adversary. "Oh my. I- Well, Rogue this certainly- What exactly is going on here?"

She didn't answer, but Remy noted her cheeks burned darker, if such a thing were possible. This would have been far more amusing if they were perhaps more clothed. And if Logan didn't have such sharp claws.

"I t'ink it would be a good idea if everyone left. An' we got dressed. An' den we all talked about dis like rational adults." Remy offered a weak grin to his (secret) girlfriend's only father figure. "Preferably wit'out guttin' anyone."

"I don't think so, Gumbo." Logan snarled, extending the claws on both hands. "What the hell is going on here? Did you drug her or something? Huh, bub?"

"Nobody drugged anyone." Rogue snapped. "Can ya pleased leave so Ah can get dressed? If ya didn't notice, this is really awkward."

"Did you just forget there's a fight going on out here, mate?" Pyro stormed in. "Oh, hiya Rem! I thought ya had some kinda family emergency!"

"Yep. Dat's what I said. T' get outta de base." Remy groaned.

"Why are ya naked? Don't ya know we're fighting the X-Men out here?" His friend raised an eyebrow, and then zeroed in on Rogue. "Oi! There's a naked X-Sheila too!"

"Is he always so observant?" Rogue glared at Remy, as if this were somehow his doing.

"Pyro, stop running off!" Pietro zipped into the room.

"Jesus Christ, is everyone here?" Rogue groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"Rogue?" The speed demon's jaw dropped. "Why are you-"

"She's not." Remy snapped, snatching the sheet from the bed and wrapping it around his girlfriend to cover her. "Okay. Y're all supposed t' be fightin' out dere. So get back t' dat and we'll just leave an' pretend none o' dis ever happened."

"Mystique is not going to be happy about this." Pietro grinned. "I can't believe you're doing the dirty with Gambit."

Logan's eyes widened, as if he hadn't made this connection.

"Merci, Quicksilver. Dat's exactly what we needed t' hear right now." Remy glared at him.

"Wait till Colossus hears 'bout this, mate!" Pyro grinned. "Ya can't give me shit for any girl I bring home, ever again!"

"Since when do y' bring girls home?" Remy raised an eyebrow.

"…. It could happen."

"Wolverine, come in." Scott's voice crackled over the communicator. "Have you immobilized Sabretooth?"

"I'm occupied, kid." Logan spat into the communicator. Pietro zipped over and grabbed it from him, before running safely to the other side of the room.

"He caught Gambit and Rogue in a hotel room. Naked." He reported gleefully. "How do you feel about that, four-eyes?"

"What?" Kurt's voice cracked in, horrified.

"Everyone can hear on these things?" Pietro scoffed. "How do you ever have a private conversation? You X-People are so nosy."

"Like yer one to talk. Get out and go make fun of people somewhere else." Rogue glared at him menacingly. It was far less intimidating than her usual death glares, perhaps because she was wrapped in a sheet.

"Nope." Pietro grinned. "Your embarrassment is totally worth all the times you hit me back at the Brotherhood house."

"If ya don't wanna get hit again, ya will get the fuck out of this room." She snarled, lunging to grab at his face. He slipped out of her grasp easily, smirking at her.

"If I leave, I'm just going to tell everyone what I caught you doing!" He paused. "Maybe with a few embellishments. Bet you wish you and Lance didn't take those pictures of me now, huh?"

"Ah will kill ya!" She shrieked, lunging at him again. He laughed and ran out of the room. "Oh, no. He will not get away that easily!" She ran after him.

"Doesn't she know she isn't dressed for company?" Pyro stared after her.

"No. She's too mad." Remy sighed. "She's very single-minded."

"Is she now?" Logan cracked his knuckles threateningly.

"I should take her dese clothes. She be needin' 'em." Remy collected their clothes, and began to edge out of the room.

"Oh, no, Gumbo. I think we're gonna have a little talk." Logan snarled.

"No, she definitely shouldn' be runnin' around like dat." The Cajun practically sprinted out of the room after his girlfriend.

"What just happened?" Pyro glanced at his teammate and his enemy. "I don't think I've ever been this confused. And I've been told I'm not of sound mind."

"That Cajun has a lot of explaining to do." Logan ignored the pyromaniac and stalked out of the room after the offending southerner in question.

Remy thought he might have difficulty finding his girlfriend in the smoky chaos of the hallway. He underestimated two things: how loud she was when she was angry, and how shocking it might be to others to see her clad in so very little. He found her rather easy to follow by the sounds of surprise and her occasional enraged shriek echoing down the hall.

"Pietro Maximoff, get yer scrawny ass over here right now!" He heard her shriek ahead of him. "Ah will kill ya!"

Remy rolled his eyes. That would certainly motivate the speed demon to do the exact opposite. Once he arrived in the lobby, he was grateful to see it was only his fellow mutants in the room. Of course, given the situation, perhaps a few human witnesses wouldn't be such a bad idea.

"Rogue?" Kitty grabbed her friend's arm, eyes wide. "Where are your clothes?"

"Ah lost them." The southern belle muttered vaguely, pink creeping up her cheeks again, drawing the sheets closer around herself.

"So did Gambit." The valley girl zeroed in on him as he entered the room, a mischievous grin finding its way to her lips. "You, like, weren't with us when we got here. You didn't even answer your phone calls. Are we interrupting something?"

Rogue turned to glare at Remy, as if this were his fault. He shrugged at her, unable to contain a grin. It had been her idea to keep it a secret. He was all for telling everyone. Except Logan. He needed to be kept out of the loop.

"Nein!" Kurt shook his head violently, abandoning his fight with the Toad. In fact, the rather unclothed appearance of the southern couple seemed to have distracted everyone from whatever their issues were- most were staring at them. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing." Rogue and Remy said in unison as Remy approached her, shrugging into his trench coat. Neither seemed aware of how absolutely ridiculous they looked.

"Told ya." Pietro appeared out of nowhere next to the blue mutant, patting him sympathetically on the shoulder. Rogue narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh, calm down Roguey. It's not like we didn't all see this coming."

"I didn't!" Kurt snarled, jerking away from him. "You- I can't believe-"

"Oh calm down, Kurt." Kitty rolled her eyes. "Now we, like, know where she's been sneaking off to. Besides, the speedy little freak is right, everyone knew this was coming."

"And I'm not happy about it!" He exclaimed, his tail twitching agitatedly behind him. "That awful Acolyte…. My sister…."

"Everyone knew what was coming? Nothing is happening here! This is all just a… A really weird coincidence." Rogue glared at her friends, as if daring them to contradict the obvious lie.

"Yeah. 'Cause we haven't all seen this coming since you two met." Pietro rolled his eyes. "Oh, let me kidnap you and take you to New Orleans! Oh, let me specifically request to be on the team to rescue you from Apocalypse! Oh, let me drunkenly lament your hatred of me every weekend!"

"Shut up." Remy narrowed his eyes at the speed demon.

"Ya drunkenly lamented my hatred of ya?" Rogue shot him an amused grin.

"Oh, like you're one to talk!" Kitty giggled. "Like, why is he so annoying? Let's, like, go see what he's up to and follow him! I, like, totally forgive him for using me because he did it for the right reasons!"

"I knew y' didn' hate moi." Remy smirked at her triumphantly.

"Who wins the betting pool?" Pietro muttered to himself. "Lance said within a year of Apocalypse. When did this start? I have fifty dollars and an incriminating picture of Lance in a bikini riding on the line here!"

"Nein! There is no pool! There is no relationship!" Kurt shook his head violently. "Rogue, you can't hang out with this creep!"

"Ah can do whatever Ah want." She tuck out her chin defiantly. She hoped it came across as more intimidating than it felt; without clothing, she felt it was much harder to take her seriously. She was suddenly very grateful for Remy's trench coat.

"But- but- he might have… bad intentions…" Kurt stuttered, as if the thought alone were too horrifying to consider.

"Might?" Pietro snorted next to him.

Remy took the crook of her elbow in his hand, gently pulling her towards him. "Dis is fine, mes amis. We're jus' gon' go an' let y' finish whatever y're fightin' 'bout."

"Stop right there." Kurt narrowed his eyes at the Cajun.

Scott burst in the room, followed by Lance, Jean, and Wanda. They were still fighting, clearly unaware that gossip was far more important than whatever mission they were hoping to accomplish.

"Run for it." Remy breathed into her ear as the others were momentarily distracted by the outbreak of fighting. Without a need for a further prompt, she took off at a sprint, followed closely by the Cajun. They tore down the hallway, hoping to take the back exit and avoid any further awkward situations.

"He's totally going to defile your sister." Pietro smirked at Kurt as the couple tore away. The blue boy lunged at the speed demon and latched onto his throat.


Neither southerner stopped at the sounds of fighting behind them.

"We can't meet in hotels anymore." Rogue hissed as they sprinted down the hallway.

"Chere, I don' t'ink it's really a secret anymore. We can just do normal couple t'ings. Like go t' dinner. An' when y'r friends come t' spy, we can blow somet'in' up an' run away." He replied with a grin, grabbing her arm to pull her out the back door.

Where they were promptly greeted by the very last person they wanted to see.

"Oh. Hi Logan." Rogue said stupidly after a moment. The Canadian's scowl deepened as he took them both in. Clearly, he had expected an attempted escape.

"You two. X-Jet. Now."

"Ya know, ya don't have to listen to him. He can't assign Danger Room practices." Rogue whispered as they both followed him.

"Ouais, disobeying de mentally unstable guy wit' metal claws in his hands is in my best interests." He rolled his eyes.

"I can hear both of you." Logan called from ahead of them, a nasty edge to his voice. "And Gumbo's right, Stripes. I don't need the Danger Room to take care of him."

"Dis is all y'r fault." Remy said cheerfully, draping an arm over her shoulder. After all, they were thoroughly screwed either way, might as well enjoy it.

"My fault?" She glared at him. "No. It's yers."

"No, chere, y' suggested poker."

"Ya picked the hotel!" She countered.

"Mais y're de one dat insisted on secrecy."

"It's both of yer faults." Logan turned to glare at them. "Hey Stripes- if you paid more attention during training, you'd know this was a suspected FoH hideout. And you'd know we thought Magneto's goons were gonna attack it, and we had to come protect civilians."

"Oh." She blinked.

"So dis is entirely y'r fault." Remy smirked at her.

"Is not. Ah don't function when they tell me this kinda stuff at five in the morning." She crossed her arms irritably.

"As much as I love listening to this 'lover's' quarrel, I think it would be in yer best interests to shut up 'till I get you back to the Institute. Where we can have a nice, long chat." Logan opened the door to the X-Jet.

"We could also have dis chat in a more public place. Wit' witnesses. Lots o' witnesses." Remy offered nervously, eyeing the Canadian's extended claws.

"I don't think so, bub." Logan shoved him roughly into the plane, giving Rogue a look that told her she better follow. She did so, sitting next to her nervous boyfriend.

"If he guts me, 'M gonna haunt y' f'rever." He muttered in her ear. "More dan dat. 'M gonna haunt y' an' go t'rough y'r underwear drawer."

"He's not gonna gut ya." Rogue rolled her eyes.

"Don't count on it." Logan spat at both of them, slamming the door to the jet shut. They exchanged a nervous look.

"Ah'm thinkin' we steal the X-Jet." She offered.

"Couldn' have said it better myself." He agreed as they moved up to the controls.

"Ah am gonna have so many Danger sessions next week."