I had intended for this story to be a one-shot but a suggestion from TPcrazy made me rethink that decision. So!! I owe the idea for this chapter to TPcrazy!! I hope you enjoy!! Also, since today is my birthday, I decided to update all of my stories so expect three other updates today!
Thanks to Hordak's Pupil, TPcrazy, and Garnet Sky for reviewing the first chapter!!
Hordak's Pupil: The Cake Ghost could be the Lunch Lady's grandson but it isn't. Thanks for the review!
TPcrazy: Thanks for the suggestion for this story!
Garnet Sky: I'm glad you enjoyed this story but unfortunately, there's no "I" on this website that I can use to rate this story "insanity". It would probably be rated that though. XD
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plotline and the Cake Ghost!!
I, the Cake Ghost, am finally released from that accursed device!! I also remained in battle with Danny Phantom for over ten minutes, thereby deeming me worthy for world domination!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Unfortunately, they were thwarted as he caught me. Plus, I WAS EATEN AGAIN!! Now my whole body smarts….
"FEAR ME!!" I shouted as I saw Desiree, the wishing ghost fly by.
"In your wishes," she retorted.
"I, the Cake Ghost, have defeated Danny Phantom!!" I bragged.
"Surely you jest," Desiree said, folding her arms with a look of total respect on her face. HA!! I have finally commandeered the respect I deserve!!
"I remained in battle with him for over ten minutes!!"
Desiree snorted and flew away.
"That's right!!" I bellowed, waving my arms. "Quake in fear!!"
"You wish!!" was the far-off reply.
"Oh shut up," Skulker said, flying by. "I'm surprised Phantom hasn't let his bumbling father eat you." He threw me a glance. "Then again, his father would get sick trying to scarf you down." The hunter flew off, leaving me stupefied.
"Hey!! What do you mean by that?!" I yelled to empty space. "I am the Cake Ghost!! Behold my--"
"SHUT UP!!" Ember McLain screamed, coming out from behind a floating ledge. "You're making me sick!!"
"YES!!" I raised my hands, if I had any, in triumph. "Feel sick!!"
Ember groaned and dashed off.
"And I thought I was unlucky," Johnny 13 commented, whizzing by on his motorcycle before I could retort.
"Fish or steak, sweetie?" a kind voice said from behind me. I turned around to see the Lunch Lady in a good mood.
"CAKE!!" I answered.
"THEN PERISH!!" Her mood switched from good to bad.
"CAKE!!" I insisted brazenly. "FEAR ME!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!"
"Then cake it is, dearie." The Lunch Lady's mood shifted again.
"Wanna beat Phantom?" I suggested slyly. With the Lunch Lady on my side, no one would be able to beat me!!
"HE SHALL PAY FOR CHANGING THE MENU!!" the ghost declared, her hair turning into flames.
"AND FOR DESTROYING CAKE!!" I added.
"What does cake have to do with it, sweetie?" The Lunch Lady appeared puzzled.
The Lunch Lady looked even more lost. "I thought meat was everything."
"No!! It's cake!!"
"CAKE!!" I hollered back defiantly.
"SHUT UP!!" several ghosts that were nearby screamed.
I took advantage of the distraction to throw in one last shout. "NO, IT'S CAKE!!"
I was nailed in the icing by a very irritated Youngblood.
"So my dad races by, complete with napkin, knife, and fork, and eats the Cake Ghost," Danny said, acting out what had happened during the four-way fight with Skulker, the Cake Ghost, and the Box Ghost.
"Again?" Tucker snickered. "That is so like your dad."
"I still can't get over that pathetic cake ghost," Sam muttered, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "Seriously, can you imagine the grief that thing must be giving the ghosts?"
"I can." Danny collapsed onto his bed. "I get enough of it from the Box Ghost."
"High score!!" Tucker yelled. He looked up from his PDA to see his friends shoot him irritated looks. "What? Can't a guy have some fun?"
The African-American jumped as a blue-skinned ghost poked his head literally through the window and said, "BEWARE!!"
Danny ignored the Box Ghost and continued to chat with Sam. Tucker shook off his shock, remembering that his friend's ghost sense had gone off earlier only to be ignored. Apparently, the halfa had been expecting the annoying ghost. He turned his attention back to his PDA.
"Hey! I said 'BEWARE!!' " the Box Ghost persisted. He was still ignored. Growing frustrated, he shouted, "You have brought on your doom!! Prepare to be clobbered by my cardboard boxes!!"
Before he could even summon any boxes, the Box Ghost was sucked into the thermos by Danny, who hadn't taken off his eyes from his girlfriend and had been saying at the same time, "And my mom yelled, 'Don't eat that!' 'Course, he didn't listen." He glanced at Tucker, who was staring at him, open-mouthed. "Is something wrong?"
"Y-You sucked in the Box Ghost without even looking!!" Tucker stammered, awed.
"So? It's just the Box Ghost," Danny said, irritated. He redirected his gaze to Sam. "You were saying?"
"Can you do that with other ghosts?" Tucker broke in.
"No. The Cake Ghost and the Box Ghost are the only ghosts dumb enough to stay in one spot for it to work."
"CAKE!!" came a shout from downstairs.
"Speaking of which," Danny grumbled, transforming, "I'm gonna go take care of said Cake Ghost."
"BEWARE!!" came the Cake Ghost's squeaky voice.
"FLEE NOW OR FACE MY ECTOPLASMIC BLASTS!!" Danny Phantom could be heard yelling.
"That's new," Sam commented.
The Cake Ghost's cackle could be heard along with more shouting from Phantom. Finally, a whirring sound combined with one last "BEWARE" from the Cake Ghost was heard before Danny phased through the floor and switched back, grinning.
"That was fun."
"What's up with that shout of yours?" Tucker asked.
"Just something to keep the ghosts distracted while I use the thermos on them," Danny explained nonchalantly.
"Does it work?" Sam wore a skeptical look.
"Yup. First time I did it Skulker underestimated me. He thought the Box Ghost had finally gotten through to me." Danny still had an insane grin on his face.
"Please drop that grin. It's freaking me out."
"That cake is taking such a long time, I hope it hasn't run into any trouble," The Lunch Lady murmured.
She waited for a few more minutes until a very battered Cake Ghost approached her.
"Well?" she inquired. "How did gauging Phantom's strength go?"
"I am the Cake Ghost!" it wheezed in a deflated voice. "I cannot be defeated!!"
"So how did you end up back here?"
"He tricked me!!" it shouted, momentarily regaining back some of its old bluster. "That's how." The Cake Ghost deflated again.
"There's always next time, sweetheart."
"That's right!! And next time, PHANTOM IS GOING DOWN!!"
In the meantime, behind a stone ledge, stood Skulker, Ember, Youngblood, Johnny 13, Kitty, Spectra, and about a dozen other unknown ghosts. They were sick of the Lunch Lady's and the Cake Ghost's constant idiocy and had decided to kick them out of the Ghost Zone until they cooled down.
"On three," Skulker whispered. "Johnny, your shadow is up."
"Go, Shadow!!" Johnny commanded.
"While his shadow distracts them, you, Spectra, will feed on their misery," Skulker instructed.
"I can't wait." Spectra grinned evilly.
"Speaking of misery, I wonder what kind of fears that tart-loving cake eater has?" Youngblood asked.
"Why don't we find out?" Spectra answered. She snuck out under the cover of invisibility.
Shadow, meanwhile, had thoroughly confused both the Cake Ghost and the Lunch Lady by whispering to each ghost about meat and cake and various other food items that had nothing to do with either ghost's obsessions. (A/N I don't think Johnny's shadow can talk but it can make noises.)
"Hmm? Did you say something about fruits?" the Lunch Lady inquired.
"I HATE FRUITS!!" Then in a quieter tone, "And what about your insult that cakes stink?!"
"I didn't say that!" The Lunch Lady's hair began to smolder. "AND WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT MEAT ROTTING YOUR BONES?!"
"When did I say that?" The Cake Ghost scratched off a strawberry.
"Yes, yes!!" a dark shadow cackled, swirling around until it solidified to reveal Penelope Spectra. "Feed me your misery and doubts!! It's all in good hands." She swept around the Cake Ghost, smiling evilly and touched it. "Ah. Such pain, such fear, such misery." Then she stopped and frowned. "Is it ethical to fear being eaten up by a….orange oaf in a jumpsuit? And what about this doubt that you won't be worthy for a vanilla cake?"
"Oh the fears of rejection!!" the Cake Ghost moaned.
"On second thought, I'd rather not know what fears you have," Spectra said. She let go and flew away.
"Now!" Skulker whizzed out from the stone ledge. "Ambush!!"
"SNEAK ATTACK!!" Youngblood hollered crashing into the Lunch Lady and sending her flying to the Ghost Portal.
"It's not a sneak attack if you yell it out," his parrot said.
"What?! But that takes all the fun out of it!" Youngblood whined.
"LUNCH LADY!!" the Cake Ghost shouted.
"Didn't you see her fly into the portal?" Skulker asked. He fired up an ecto-gun and shot it at the Cake Ghost, sending it flying into the portal. "Anyone complaining?"
"Not me," the other ghosts all said.
"Good. Now let's go somewhere far away before it decides to come back."
"Yes! Yes!" Tucker crowed, hanging onto the edge of his seat. "Whack him to the right. Left. Give him an upper hook and….banzai!! Yes!" He put up his arms in victory. "The Killer Zone strikes again!!"
"Dang it," Danny lamented, leaning against Tucker's bed. The two were playing video games with Sam watching. "Is it right to call your character Killer Zone?"
"It sounds cool," Tucker said.
"To an idiot," Sam muttered.
Danny's ghost sense went off. "Ghost, guys. We'll come back to this topic later. I'm going ghost!!" A bluish-white ring formed around his waist to split and reveal Danny Phantom.
"I thought you were over that battle cry," Tucker commented.
"Nah. It sounds cool."
"To an idiot," Tucker quoted.
Sam glared at him. "That's my line! And for your information, that battle cry does sound cool."
"All right, fine, I'm outvoted," Tucker said, backing off.
"I'll say." Sam smirked.
"There is a ghost nearby. You must be an idiot to not notice the ghost you're standing in." Both friends turned to see Danny rattling the Fenton Ghost Finder.
"Get that fixed, dude," Tucker stated.
"Eh--I better. Guess we'll have to do this the manual way." Danny twiddled a dial and the Ghost Finder beeped as the screen changed to a grid. "OK, there are two ghosts by the park. You guys follow on foot while I fly there, okay?"
"Got it." Sam nodded as Danny clipped the Fenton Ghost Finder back to his belt before flying out. "Come on, Tuck." She ran out of the room.
"Hey! How come Danny gets to fly while we run?" Tucker complained.
"No one's listening, are they?"
"Let's hope these ghosts aren't too tough. I want to enjoy my weekend," Danny murmured, flying against the breeze. It whipped his snowy-white hair back.
"BWAHAHAHAHA!!" a familiar cackle was heard in the air. "FEAST, YOU PATHETIC MORTALS, FEAST!! AND BECOME SICK!!"
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Danny said, screeching to a stop to see the Cake Ghost commanding a horde of sweets. It was bombarding the civilians in the park. Quite a few people had a sweet of some kind or another in their hair or clothes. He winced as a rock hard cake smattered the fountain's fat and ugly cherub. "I sure hope they're insured for that."
Danny turned around as he heard a familiar voice chime, "Would you like some chicken, dear hearts?" He saw the Lunch Lady smiling benevolently at a terrified group of adults.
They all shook their heads.
"THEN DINE ON MY FURY!!" she shouted, her mood switching and her hair turning into flames.
"YAAAAH!!" they all shrieked. One guy jumped into the fountain to escape the Lunch Lady's wrath and another hid behind a rock.
"Lunch Lady!" Danny yelled to get her attention. She turned around, flames dancing in her eyes. "Here's a question for you!" He held up the Fenton Electrifier and the Jack o' Nine Tails. "Electrifier or Nine Tails?"
"NEITHER!!" the Lunch Lady screamed, sending a wave of meat towards the ghost teen.
Danny turned intangible, letting it pass through him. He smirked. "Oh, really? Then take this!" He took a deep breath and shouted in a passable imitation of a man Lunch Lady, "THEN DINE ON MY ELECTRONICAL FURY!! How's that?" He threw the Jack o' Nine Tails at the Lunch Lady and swooped towards the Cake Ghost to electrify it with the Fenton Electrifier.
"INSOLENT BOY!!" the Lunch Lady roared, recovering from the attack. "YOU SHALL FACE THE FURY OF MY MEAT UTENSILS!!" The meat around her formed into kitchen utensils. Namely, knives and forks, along with a couple of spoons.
"No, thanks," he retorted, kicking the Cake Ghost to the ground. "I don't want to be eaten. 'Sides, last time I checked, ectoplasm wasn't on the menu."
"Good point, dearie," the Lunch Lady said sweetly. "You look famished." A slice of cake appeared in her hands. "Slice of cake?"
"Uh--" Danny had a baaaad feeling.
"YES!!" The Cake Ghost flew up, still crackling with electricity, snatched the plate from the Lunch Lady, and began to dance around with it. "Marry me?"
Danny stared dumfounded, until what the ghost had said kicked in. "Oh great. I think I'm going to be sick!"
"THAT WAS MY CAKE!!" the Lunch Lady shouted at the still dancing Cake Ghost.
"IT'S MY FIANCEE!!" the Cake Ghost retorted.
"You're a boy?" Danny stopped gagging to ask.
"You're a boy?" the Lunch Lady asked as well.
The Cake Ghost stared at the two. "OF COURSE I'M A BOY!! What'd you think I was? A girl?"
"I thought of you as an 'it,' " Danny said. "No offense but you're a cake. Cakes don't have genders."
The Cake Ghost swelled up with anger. "YOU SHALL FACE MY SWEET FURY!!"
"Somehow, that doesn't sound very scary," Danny commented.
"You think I'm scary, don't you, sweetheart?" the Cake Ghost said in a sweet voice to the vanilla cake in it's, or should I say his, hand.
"It's a cake," Danny repeated patiently. "It doesn't talk. In fact, most cakes don't talk, with the exception of you."
"He has a point, sweetie," the Lunch Lady threw in. "Now, why don't we go back to our plan for world domination and defeating Phantom?"
"I'm right here, you know," Danny said. Then her words sunk in. "Hang on. You guys are teammates?! Wow. I gotta congratulate you on your taste, Cake Ghost. First the Box Ghost--which has got to be the most ridiculous idea ever--and now the Lunch Lady, which is a slightly better pick."
"The Box Ghost is a sweetie," the Lunch Lady objected, "not a ridiculous idea."
"I sense a Box Lunch in the making," Danny muttered, keeping his voice low.
"FEAST ON MY GOODIES!!" the Cake Ghost cackled, pelting the ghost boy with sweets. "Like this, sweetheart?" it then asked its "fiancée."
"DINE ON MY MEAT!!" The Lunch Lady added her own arsenal of meat utensils to the mix.
"This is…strangely disturbing." Danny blasted as much as he could with his ghost rays before turning intangible and flying out through the mess.
"HAVE A TASTE OF CAKE!!" The Cake Ghost pelted him with a scone before Danny could react.
"Um--dude, that's a scone." Danny wiped off the mess. "Get it right."
"HAVE A TASTE OF GOOD, WHOLESOME MEAT!!" The Lunch Lady attacked him from the other side by a parade of meat bombs.
Danny dodged most of them and swatted away the rest using ghost rays.
"Danny!" He saw Sam run into the park. "Need help?"
"Thanks, Sam, but I think I've got it covered. Watch this." Danny turned to the two ghosts and said, "Which is better, cake or meat?"
"NO, IT'S MEAT!!"
"I SAY, CAKE!!"
"OBVIOUSLY, YOU STUPID SWEET TART, IT'S MEAT!! CAKE HAS NO WHERE NEAR THE FIBER REQUIRED FOR ONE'S BODY!!"
"Cake has fiber?" Tucker wondered, joining Sam on the ground.
"CAKE IS STRONGER!!"
"See what I mean?" Danny shot a smile down to Sam.
"I do but it's really disturbing."
"What's disturbing is that cake in the Cake Ghost's hand," Danny pointed out.
"What's so disturbing about that cake?" Tucker broke in. "It looks yummy."
The Cake Ghost suddenly changed its tune and said sweetly to the cake in its hand, "Do you love me, sweetie pie? Mind telling the mean lady over there that cake rules over it all?"
"On second thought, that is disturbing," Tucker said, looking faintly revolted.
"I second that," Sam said. "Mind using the thermos, Danny, before I lose my mind?"
"And my eardrums," Tucker added.
"I was enjoying it, but oh well." Danny flicked open the cap of the thermos. "Say good-bye, ghosts!"
The Cake Ghost turned around, forgetting its spat with the Lunch Lady. "NO!! I AM THE CAKE GHOST!! MY SWEETNESS CANNOT BE OVERPOWERED BY SOUP!!"
"It's not a soup can," Danny said. "And you really might wanna think about changing your battle cry. The Box Ghost is scarier than that."
"Oh, dearie, the Box Ghost is a dream!" The Lunch Lady had stars in her eyes.
"Is that an 'ew' or a 'yikes'?" Sam asked.
"An 'ew'," both her friends decided.
"Before she can go off about the Box Ghost again, you'll be meeting him personally." Danny waved the thermos around. "He's probably in the Ghost Zone."
"Have a steak, sweetie?" The Lunch Lady positively beamed a ray of light at the halfa.
Danny sucked her in without another word. "That was weird." He aimed the thermos towards the floating cake. "Now for you."
"Um--Danny?" he heard Sam call.
"Zooming Specter Speeder at three o'clock."
"Huh?" Danny barely had time to react before the Specter Speeder rammed into him and sent him flying straight into a monument of Tucker Foley, in the mayor's outfit.
"Hey! That cost money, you know!" Tucker complained.
"Wow. You people actually pay money for an ugly statue like that? I learn something new every day," Sam said. "I wouldn't have paid a dime for that thing."
"Danny, where's the cake?!" Jack Fenton opened the door to look around frantically.
"Nowhere?" Danny said feebly.
"HAVE NO FEAR, THE CAKE GHOST IS HERE!! I SHALL SAVE YOU, MY FIANCEE!!" The Cake Ghost gave away its location. It wasn't much of a hiding place anyway seeing as it had been hovering in front of Jack's nose.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Sam groaned.
"I second that," Tucker agreed.
"Me three," Danny chimed in. He saw that his dad had suddenly gotten a knife and fork in his hand. "AGH!! NO, DAD!! DON'T EAT IT!!"
Too late. Jack Fenton had already managed to get half of it stuffed down.
"Now I'm really going to be sick." Sam covered her mouth, looking green. "Excuse me as I find a nice quiet place to throw up in." She scampered away.
"I'm going, too." Tucker followed.
"I'd go, too, if it weren't for the fact that someone has to clean up the Cake Ghost's remains." Danny looked up to see the Cake Ghost phasing through his father's orange belly. It looked battered and, surprisingly, still had its "fiancée" in hand. "Well, not remains, per say, but I better clean it up before he eats it again."
"YOU CANNOT EAT ME, THE CAKE GHOST!!" Then in a different tone, "You all right, sweetums?"
"And I better do that now." Danny sucked in the Cake Ghost, fiancée and all, before his dad could react.
"Where'd the cake go?" Jack Fenton asked, looking slightly green.
"Uh--to the town hall?" 'How much can he eat?'
"To the town hall, Danny!!" Jack sped off.
"Okaaay," Danny said slowly, "now that that completely bizarre and random incident is out of the way, I'm going to deposit these ghosts in the Ghost Zone before they blow up the thermos with their arguments about meat, cake, and most likely fiancées."
Danny sped to his house and phased through the building into the lab, where he saw his mother working on a weird contraption with many various knobs, antennas, and grids displayed.
"Hey, Mom." Danny floated over to the portal to empty out the thermos. "What's the invention?"
"To be honest, I'm not exactly sure. It's going to be good for something but at the moment I haven't got the faintest idea," Maddie said truthfully. "It was Jack's spur on the moment idea and it needed to be got out of his system. Then he ran out with the Specter Speeder, yelling something about a 'cake' so I was just fiddling around with it. Speaking of which, he didn't eat the cake, did he?"
"No--well, yeah, he did, but the Cake Ghost phased out of his tummy before it was digested. He's right now at the town hall, trying to find out where it is," Danny explained. The Fenton Ghost Portal sucked in all three ghosts he had caught earlier. "Well, that's done. Make sure no more ghosts get out, okay, Mom? I'm going to check on Sam and Tucker. Last I saw, they were barfing in some remote location…" He phased through the ceiling, leaving his mother alone in the basement.
"Hmm. Now where'd I put that screw?" Maddie twiddled with something and the whole thing exploded in her face.
"Now that those two annoying ghosts are out of the Ghost Zone," Skulker said, lounging on a rock, "we can sit back and relax."
"Don't jinx it," Ember warned.
"Oh, please. As if I can jinx…" Shouting was heard in the distance. "Oh darn it. Just as it was getting quiet, too."
"Told you." Ember rolled her eyes and played a little melody on her guitar. She paused in the middle of the playing as the shouts grew closer. "What are they fighting about?"
Several other ghosts had also come by, curious to see what the latest quarrel was about.
"WE WERE SO CLOSE, I TELL YOU!! YOU HAD TO RUIN IT WITH YOUR MEAT!!"
"CAKE IS NO GOOD!! MEAT IS THE RULER OF ALL THE FOOD GROUPS!!"
"If they don't shut up I'm going to lock them up in a soundproofed cage," Skulker muttered darkly. "On second thoughts, I'd rather have their pelts up on my wall."
They saw the Cake Ghost flying by, holding a….cake in one hand?
"I love you, sweetie pie," it was murmuring to it much to the other ghosts' amazement.
"Please tell me I didn't just see that," Skulker said.
"I think you did."
"Oh, Boxy!!" they heard the Lunch Lady exclaim.
"BEWARE!! Boxed pizza at my place?" they heard the Box Ghost ask.
Both Ember and Skulker looked at each other, horrified expressions written all over their faces.
"Please tell me I didn't just hear that."
"Wanna go throw up at my place?"
Ooh. I had fun writing that. Hope you liked that and please review.
By the way, I have a challenge for all of you artists!! Since seeing WingsofMorphius's story Moments of Clarity drawn out beautifully on deviantart, I've wanted to see how either of my Danny Phantom stories would look. So, if you're up for the challenge, PM me if you want to draw either The Return or Shinigami Phantom. Looking forward to it!