Author's Note: This was a response to a challenge written by one of my good friends; she basically demanded a 'crack' Harry Potter fic completely based on alliteration and she fully invites anybody who can write one to submit an entry and she'll post it (... probably; she says that's the only reason it would continue). It's called "Hummed Harry" by Neighpony if anybody is interested in reading more and because the three of us; being Neighpony, PenisControl and me, Sirenic Griffin, have completely different tastes when it comes to Harry Potter fiction only alliteration links them. Neighpony is impartial and writes whatever strikes her fansy, Penis Control is a Harry-Draco slash fan and I'm a Hermione fan who keeps pairing her with Draco. It's rated T because of PenisControl... anyway, enjoy and be inspired and please ignore my grammar: I'm not a very good poet and the linking words I usually use are missing.

An Alliteration Attempt at a Amour.

"He's here." Hermione huffed; her hair hanging horrendously, horrifically helpless.

"Dastardly disaster, don't doubt." Draco dramatically declared dispassionate, despite drool dripping deliberately.

"Good going." Goyle grumbled glare greedily glowering.

"Can't cope." Crabbe crankily clouted contorting Colin.

"Slytherins socialising!" screamed Snape, seeing said Snakes.

Hermione hesitated.

"Rubbish!" rumbled Ron.

"He's here." Harry horrendously hiccupped.

Severus Snape scrutinised, seeing slimy sightseers.

Tom tormented Trelawney.

"LUNACY!" Luna laughed.

"Victory!" Voldemort ventured.

"Scram." Snape snapped, scuttling sending Slytherin's southward.

"Let's leave." Luna lectured loudly.

Draco departed, dragging disputing damsel downstairs.

Harry heard Hermione's holler.

Granger's gruesome glare gave guts.

Malfoy met measure, maliciously meeting 'Mione's mouth.

Hermione hit him.

Malfoy's masochistic mind meandered.

Dangerous, death-defying deeds danced down Draco's drifting day-dreams.

Granger glowered, greatly grieved.

" My mind, my- " Malfoy meddled.

"Hush." Hermione hastened, her hand hurriedly handling her hair .

Trelawney trounced toward the two.

Draco ducked.

His head hitting Hermione.

"Meddlesome madwoman." Malfoy moaned.

Granger grinned. Gaze glued.

"Sadistic snake." Slytherin snarled.

"Gruesome gargoyle." Gryffindor glared.

"Mine." 'Mione's mouth met Malfoy's, melding maws.

Hermione hooked, her hand held his.


Thanking the Thesaurus, the terrible thespian tried, trickly testing the... extent of her brain...