girls don't make passes at men who wear glasses

"So," Rukia said, perching on the edge of Renji's desk, "does Abarai-fukutaichou notice anything different?"

Renji eyed her. "I thought we'd agreed that you weren't going to do that damn fukutaichou thing at me any more."

"Oh, don't be like that." Rukia waved an aristocratic hand. "Just tell me what you think."

Renji frowned. "Well, you've done your hair differently. It actually looks sort of pretty like that. And you're wearing your uniform kind of sloppily. If Rangiku wore hers like that, her bosom would be falling out all over the place. And --"

"Yes?" Rukia asked, leaning forward.

"And . . ." Renji sniffed. "You're wearing some sort of perfume. And . . ."

Rukia leaned even further forward towards him, balancing on the pile of correspondence and parcels which filled Renji's in-tray. "Yes?"

"And --" Renji's eyes widened as he saw the topmost parcel. "And the Silver Dragonfly Lenses has sent us another sample!" He grabbed the package, absently letting a shrieking Rukia clutch his sleeve and save herself from toppling headfirst off the desk. "Look!" He ripped it open, scattering shredded packaging in all directions. "The very newest goggles from Shirogane Ginjirou! Just look at them! The style, the elegance -- they're absolutely classic yet they manage to look so fucking manly -- and look, he's even put a tag in saying that they're for me. I have to try them on. Do you have a mirror, Rukia?"

Rukia looked up at him with the sort of gaze that ought to be reserved for bankai. "Now why should I have a mirror?" she enquired sweetly.

"Oh, I figured it was just one of those things that girls carried round all the time. Don't worry," Renji dismissed the idea. "I'll go find one shortly. But tell me." He slipped the goggles on and posed. "Do I look good?"

Rukia took a deep breath. "You look very good," she said sweetly, sliding off the desk. "Very manly. Very, um, cutting edge. Very stylish. Very elegant."

Renji shook back his hair and smirked. "Yeah. Thanks."

"Think nothing of it," Rukia said. The door rattled in its frame as she slammed it behind her.

"Hey!" Renji called after her. "Did you want to try them on?"