Realize, I'm Yours
I based this roughly on the Colbie Caillat song and the new Jason Mraz song. Found inspiration in the lyrics
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the story. I do not own the song posted.
Setting: This is the first story that I have ever written. It will make more sense as it goes and takes place a few years after the BtVS finale. While fighting another battle, she is thought to have died…
From inside the bedroom, the pounding of the rain against the windowpane was violent. The wind knocked loudly, the dark ominous clouds seemed only to add to the misery that was enveloping Southern California. This storm was an abnormality, and it only added to the pain that Angel was feeling as he paced back and forth in his bedroom. His mind was racing with thoughts, thoughts of her, her death. He didn't want to think about it anymore, he wanted to forget that it ever happened, or even more prevalent in his thoughts, he wished he could go back and make sure that it had never happened. He felt incomplete, although they were no longer together, she always was a part of him, he never stopped loving her, and now, it felt as though something was missing, a crucial part of his soul was taken from him and he would never get it back, the chance that they could someday still be together was only a dream now.
In a moment of complete insanity, he threw himself on the bed, if only a tear could be shed, if only there was some way that he could release the anger and passion inside of him then maybe he could have a solid chance at moving on, at remembering her and finding a way to let go. It was useless he knew, how could you mourn someone who you barely knew? She wasn't the same girl that she was when they were together, time had most certainly changed her. After all, his time apart from her had changed him as well, he no longer had the ability to find comfort in another, the only person who could comfort him was her and now… Now there was no chance of her ever coming back into his life, he failed her when he failed to protect her.
He sat up and cradled his head in his hands, if only he could get a sign, a sign that she was happy now. A sign that she forgave him for the anguish that he put her though. A sign that would tell him everything he needed to know, that she still loved him and cared for him as he did for her. Even though they could still never be together, he would have been immensely consoled knowing that she still loved him with all her heart.
One Year Later
One year had passed since that dreadful day that he learned of Buffy's passing. It still tore at him with every day that passed. He couldn't help to constantly wonder what could have happened, what would have happened if he had never left her alone in Sunnydale, if he had stayed with her, loved her openly. He needed to escape, to get out of Los Angeles, he felt suffocated, and he needed to find a place where he could try to sort through his thoughts. Quickly grabbing a bag, he pulled open his drawers and rummaged around grabbing clothes and aimlessly stuffing them into the bag.
He waited for nightfall before he left, sneaking out so no one would know he had left. It was the only way, the only way that he could actually leave without the others telling him that this effort was only in vain and that he just had to accept her death and try to move forward in life. He didn't want to forget her though, he wanted to remember, to remember her and how they use to be, he wanted to recreate those days in his head because the longer the time passed, the harder it was for him to remember all the memories he hoped he would keep forever. They were his only link left to her and as they faded, he began to feel helpless, he didn't want to concentrate on her death, he wanted to concentrate on her life.