Take Me to Bed

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Harry Potter, or any of the characters mentioned in this story, unless stated otherwise. Rated for some sexual content, violence and language. Any similarities to real life are purely coincidence and I will not be held responsible! Thanks!


Author's Note: A pairing I personally LOVE and have been meaning to take a stab at for ages. Of course, Decimare (StrawberryPunk) was also a driving force behind this, as she and I both just like seeing Remus get laid. LMAO. So…yes, we're ready? Good. 'The worst pies in London!' Cheers!!


He wasn't drunk. Pfft…that would be bloody ridiculous. He'd only had seven (eight?) drinks. Sirius was certainly sober…at least he thought he might be. He certainly wasn't all touchy feely like how he was when he was drunk.

Remus stumbled over the threshold of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place and decided that he might just be a smidge tipsy. But certainly not drunk. "Sirius?"


"Are you drunk?"

Sirius giggled as they made their way not really all that quietly (they were a bit plastered) upstairs. "Why? Thinking of jumping me?" They'd dated on and off for a bit, and had settled, in their old age, into a kind of routine, casualness. They had sex if the mood struck, but were by no means committed. And neither had desire to be at this point either.

"Hmm…maybe," Remus said earnestly. "But I…I think I may possibly be." He tripped over a step and fell heavily as Sirius slapped a hand over his mouth in a poor attempt to keep from laughing.

"Sorry mate, it's just funny. You…drunk. And for the record, I'm pretty hammered meself."

"We can tell."

Sirius looked up, still half-smiling at Luna and Hermione, who stood with identical annoyed looks and crossed arms. "Hermione?" Remus said blankly. He was rather distracted by her lack of clothing. Apparently almost non-existent shorts and tank tops with no bras were pyjamas…

Sirius looked equally as impressed and now rather hungrily eyed up Luna, who was dressed similarly. "Come on," Hermione sighed, hauling Remus up off the floor where he gaped at her. "I'm taking you to bed."

"Taking him to bed?" Sirius enquired, waggling his eyebrows. "Oi!"

Luna had taken his arm, and promptly frog marched him to his bedroom, grimacing at Hermione and closing the door behind her.

"What's with the look?" Remus pondered aloud.

"Maybe that it's really unfair that we should have to stay up to make sure you two don't wreak havoc while you're pissed."

Remus snorted. "The only havoc Padfoot is going to wreak is that on your friend. Guaranteed, by morning, he'll have gotten in her knickers. He's a helluva persuasive fellow when he wants to be, Sirius Black is."

Hermione blushed and stifled her laugh. "I'll bet. Come on…bed time."


Remus was standing, swaying only minimally, in the middle of his room, dressed in naught but his Muggle blue jeans and underwear. He was painfully (and pleasurably) aware of Hermione's very womanly presence. Hermione herself seemed not to notice, but Remus still spotted the minor blush she tried to hide.

The alcohol bolstered his normally frail confidence. "See something you like Hermione?" he murmured, catching her chin in his hand.

Her blush grew. "You're drunk."

"I know…great isn't it?" He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, making her shiver delightfully. "But you haven't answer my question…"

"I do." Her voice was barely a whisper between their lips, but as soon as she had uttered the words, Remus closed his mouth over hers almost possessively, and pressed her soft body into his.

Hermione barely resisted, and soon she was pulling him closer, grinding her pelvis into his like a bitch in heat. Remus pulled back and smirked just a little drunkenly at her, and with hardly any glaze at all in his eyes. "Hermione…"

"I know. Me too."

Remus smiled. His gentle, long-fingered hands slid down her back and around her waist, up over the smooth tautness of her stomach, and cupped her generous breasts firmly. His thumbs teased her nipples through the fabric of her shirt until he lifted it away from her.

He bent to kiss and lick her nipple, loving the way she moaned at every delicate flick of tongue or nip of pearly whites. His hands dipped, and with growing passion, he gripped her buttocks firmly in his hands, their lips meeting again.

The spank was loud, and startled Hermione, but she moaned at the rush of wetness to her pussy. Remus' hands were insistently pushing at the material around her hips, and with a soft whoosh, her short shorts slipped to the floor.

"Lie down," he murmured into her shoulder as her kissed it, sucking and biting greedily at her pale flesh. He wanted everyone in the world to see his love marks on her and know he had done what he was about to do.

Hermione obeyed his words, and spread herself seductively on his bed. It had never looked more appealing. He slowly unzipped his pants, and with the grace of a drunken werewolf, slid them and his underwear down his legs, the thick, hard shaft of his phallus jumping to attention. Hermione's mouth watered at the sight of him.

There was a slight pause in which only the muffled sound of bedsprings and rhythmic thumping from Sirius' bedroom next door could be heard, and it worked its magic by breaking the tension between the two.

Hermione giggled and Remus climbed onto the bed. "Told you."

The brunette pulled his face down to hers. "He's not the only persuasive one…"

Remus smirked coyly, looking like the sex demon he was. His body covered hers, and his fingers explored her body, making her moan and gasp with excitement and rising lust. Then his fingers spread the soft lips of her sex and rubbed her clit. Hermione moaned loudly and arched into the touch.

Remus licked her neck. "So good…" he muttered, then with his knees, splayed Hermione's legs before him. She held her breath, and looked up at him, so innocent and yet so wanton at the same time. God, he wanted to just bury himself in her, burrow into her and cover himself in her. His cock slid slowly into her, filling her to the brim and then some, her hot pussy tight around him like a glove.

He was throbbing and it was agony. He wanted to fuck her. Pound her into the mattress and not stop until she was hoarse from screaming and sweating and begging for release. Mmm…yes, that's what he'd do to her…

He slid out easily, and thrust back home, hitting her sweet spot and making her writhe with barely controlled ecstasy. He smirked, rearing away from her and grasping her by the hips.

Hermione merely lay there, arching and moaning as he had his way with her, and when she reached her shuddering, glorious release, he pounded her until every last drop of pleasure had been wrung from her body. She lie there, limp and content beneath him.

"Oh no, no," he murmured, kissing up the inside of her thigh. His tongue delved into her now well-fucked passage, tasting her juices mingled with his seed. His tongue flicked over her clit, making her whimper. "I'm not done with you, not nearly done."

He rolled her over, lifting her to her knees and bending her forward so that her buttocks and everything else stood out for him to sample. And sample he did. He licked her pussy, running his tongue over her lips and into her cunt, and sucking hard on her clit, stoking the smoldering remains of her passion.

Despite his drunkenness (and there was no denying he was completely gone at this point, as he was in bed with Hermione Granger doing things he couldn't think without blushing normally) Remus was rather nimble and sure in his actions, and without hesitation, he entered her from behind, making her shiver and throw herself into the sheets, vocally expressing her enjoyment of this new position.

He rode her hard and fast, and Hermione could only kneel there, her breasts swinging back and forth as Remus' hands devoured them, pinching and teasing her nipples. She clenched at the sheets, her fingernails biting into her own palms. "Ohh…" she moaned, feeling another, much stronger orgasm building. Remus slowed slightly and covered her again.

She reached up, her hand fisting in his hair. "Fuck me Remus," she gasped. "Oh Merlin…fuck me."

Remus grunted. God…she was driving him wild. And he was so fucking close. Then, as though he had misstepped on a tightrope, he fell into his orgasm, and he howled with release. Hermione screamed and arched beneath him, but he was only aware of the most tantric feeling drowning him. His lips kissed hotly over her spine as she shuddered and collapsed in her passion, each movement letting him taste her flesh again.

She was delicious, and he wanted to devour her again, and again, until he couldn't move. Unfortunately, he couldn't move, and as he rolled away from her, sprawling drunkenly on his back, panting, he felt his limbs sink unmoving into the mattress. Hermione curled over his chest and he smirked.

"Well," she said softly after several long moments in which they caught their breath and restored their heartbeats to normal. "When I said I was going to put you to bed, I must say I wasn't exactly thinking of this."

"Me either…"


Remus laughed and, closing his eyes, passed out soundly.


Author's Note: smut. Don't you all just LOVE it? Muwaha. Anyhooters, that's this then, and now I've got ANOTHER to start on. So drop me a line, tell me what you think, and cheers!!