Girl With Golden Eyes

This is for you, Charlie. Hope you like.

Disclaimer: I don't own Jeff Hardy or Charlie, nor would I like to. I don't own the song "Girl With Golden Eyes" by Sixx AM.


She speaks to me in Persian
Tells me that she loves me
The girl with golden eyes
And though I hardly know her
I let her in my veins
And trust her with my life

Jeff Hardy. Recovering drug addict. Obsessed with the most beautiful woman on the face of this Earth.

Yeah, that's me.

All I know about her is that her name is Charlie, she worked at the rehabilitation center and I can't get her out of my head. And I've never been the one to be hung up over women, that's not my style. But Charlie seemed to be the only person there who didn't tiptoe around me because I was an addict. That's what drew me to her. She treated me like a normal human being.

I wish I had never kissed her
'Cause I just can't resist her
The girl with golden eyes

So I've been having these dreams, where we've been… intimate. I don't know why. But I can't exactly say I don't enjoy them.

Every time she whispers
'Take me in your arms
The way you did last night.

I swear, I don't try to have these dreams. It's not like I go to sleep saying, "God I hope I dream about fucking Charlie tonight."

Again, not my style.

But she's so damn irresistible; it's hard not to dream about her.

Everything will be okay
Everything will be alright
If I can get away from her
And save my worthless life.

It's gotten so bad to the point that I can't function without seeing her. Her in person, a picture, or something. I need something to keep me going. She's all that I have worth living for now.

Even if she isn't mine.

I wake up every morning
Jonesing for her love
The girl with golden eyes

"Charlie this." "Charlie that." "Charlie is." "Charlie was." That's all you'll ever hear come out of my mouth. That's all I ever think now. She's my drug, and I need my fix. Every single day.

I won't have to wait long
'Til she buries me with roses
'Cause she's always by my side

I'd like to have Charlie as my girlfriend; But unfortunately, I don't see that happening anytime, unfortunately. Not until I'm completely clean, at least. This time, I'll get clean and stay clean.

For her.

Everything will be okay
Everything will be alright

If I can get away from her
And save my worthless life.

But nowadays, I seem to do anything for her. Getting her coffee, talking to her when she seems bored (even though most of the time, she doesn't seem interested, but talks to me anyway to be polite), opening doors, making promises for her.

Oh god, I hope I'm not overly obsessing over this woman. Again, not my style.

But she's been changing me as of late. I swore after Beth that I'd never change for another woman again. Turns out, I lied.

So, I have this journal to log my progress. I'm reading over it, and it seems I've been doing a lot better since I've met her.

"Day one. Dope free. I went to the clinic today and got the first dose of methadone. I'm out of dope so I threw away all my rigs."

"Day two. I can't believe it's been two days without junk. Fucking smack, it just ruins peoples' lives. At first it seems so sweet, then you wake up next to a monster."

"Day three. I haven't had anything for three days now. This withdrawal is killing me. It's like shock therapy to my guts."

"Day four. Last visit to the clinic. My whole body feels like it's cracking into pieces. Fragile doesn't even come close to describing how I feel."

"Day five. I'm sick as a dog, but this handful of painkillers and a lotta whiskey's gonna get me through."

Reading over that after I wrote it, I realized I couldn't do that. I had to stay clean. I had to stay strong for her.

"Day six. When I'm left to my own devices I go fucking insane. I'll never use heroin again."

"Day seven. I can't believe I'm clean!"

"Day eight. Everyone says I look better—"

"Day nine.The parasites are panicking—"

"Day ten. They seem amazed that I'm alive!"

Yes, for a while, everyone thought that I was going to ruin and kill myself with drugs. Hell, so did I. No one believed in me. No one thought that I could beat this addiction. I, myself, didn't think that I could beat this addiction. But then again, I didn't think that I would meet her.

Everything will be okay
Everything will be alright
If I can get away from her
And save my worthless life.

I'm addicted to Charlie. I cannot function properly without Charlie. Hell, I'd die without Charlie. I'll admit it, I have an unhealthy obsession with her.

But she's the one who got me clean.

She's the one who made me believe in myself again.

She's the one that keeps me breathing.

Everything will be okay
Everything will be alright
If I can get away from her

So if I'm obsessed with her, so be it. She's my drug. She's an addiction that I can't get rid of. She's an addiction that I don't want to get rid of.

She's an addiction I won't get rid of.

And save my worthless life.


I had fun with this one.

You see what you do to him, Char?