Ok peoples, the last story was really short, so I'm going to make this one a lot longer so sit back relax and get ready to laugh!

"Wow!" exclaimed Ash "Tomato" Ketchup somehow alive again. He had been teleported by an Abra to the Johto Region.

"Wow, Pikachu! This place rules!" repeated Ash. He looked down at Pikachu and smiled.

Pikachu smiled back at him and yelled, "Time to get up Idiot!"

Ash looked at Pikachu strangely, "Hey…What's going on? Pikachu's can't talk…oh f&, this is a goddamned dream, ah s&!"

Ash opened his eyes to see a retarded Pikachu looking down on him with a 6 inch long cigar stuck in his mouth. "Oh, Professor it's just you!"

"Yes idiot, I've been in rehab for one month waiting for you wake up!" yelled Professor Oak, (those of you who didn't read my first chapter, Professor Oak is a retarded cigar smoking Pikachu in this parody).

"Wake up from what…?" asked Ash.

"Remember? You got shot by Mistymon. We had to get you new clothes you trouble making dim-wit!"

"Oh ! I got shot?! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" yelled Ash sounding extremely worried, "Oh my god! Let's see the wounds!"

Professor Oak jumped off the Pokémon Centre bed and said, "Well if you want to see them so much, I think I better get out."

"Why Professor?" asked Ash.

The Professor didn't answer; he just closed the door behind him and blocked his ears.

A few seconds later, the roof of the Pokémon Centre jumped and destroyed Team Rockets Arnold hot air balloon, "HOLY S&, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY D&!?"

Suddenly Nurse Joy came into the room, she looked at Ash looking at his dingaling and yelled, "OH MY GOD!"

She ran out of the room stopping to do Chansey for 3 seconds and then found a gun in the cupboard and shot herself in the head.

The Professor stepped back into the room and inhaled some smoke, "That's why."

4 months later…

Ash "Tomato" Ketchup lay in his bed. He sat up, "Well I guess I should have chosen a Pokémon to start off with…"

A retarded Pikachu walked into his room, "Well, I don't have any Pokemon to offer, but since we're in the Johto Region, let's go to Professor Elm and have a look at the Pokemon he has to offer.

"So you mean my dream was true? We really are in the Johto Region?"

"Well how the f&( am I supposed to know what you're dreaming about, you'd think I'm some kind of perve! Geez!"

Wow…A talking, cigar smoking, swearing and retarded Pikachu, what could be worse?

"Well you're just about to find out." Said the Professor.

"You read my mind?" asked Ash.

"No, I'm not a perve!" replied the Professor.

Sure…sure…sure… thought Ash to himself.

"I heard that!" said the Professor.

"Oh forget it, let's just go!"

Ash and Professor Oak arrived outside a lab, looking at it like it was a giant 20 story building. Well, in truth, the lab was a giant tree that looked like a 20 story building. But it wasn't any type of tree, it was an Elm tree.

"We have come to you Professor Elm, for a Pokemon that this loser-like trainer needs!" said the Professor.

"Yes, I require your assistance…hey! Wait, I'm not loser-like!" said Ash.

"Shut up and listen to the tree!" barked the Professor.

The tree stood there, waving in the wind.

"Are you sure he's Professor Elm?" asked Ash.

"Quite sure, yes."

A minute past, "he ain't talking and prove me wrong, but my ears aren't retarded like yours yet mate!" yelled Ash.

"Shut up you dim-wit, we won't be able to hear him!"

And so they waited.


"It isn't talking yet, I'm leaving!" barked Ash.

"Shut up! He needs peace and quiet!"

"But isn't that exactly what we've been giving it for the past hour?!" retorted Ash.

"Good point, let's & this joint!"

They walked away exactly when Professor Elm…

Started break dancing.

It was a phenomenon that no other person could ever witness, except for the 4,565,322 other residents of Johto, but otherwise no one.

Ash and Professor Oak turned back. "Holy c#p! He's alive!" yelled Ash!

"Yeah, quick before the other 4,565,322 residents of Johto get to him first!"

Ash ran towards the Elm tree when 2 familiar people stepped in front of him, not to mention the Bitchy Cat Pokémon, Meowth the talking Bichscrach.

They smiled at the same time then the familiar James started talking, "To steal all the Pokémon living in our nation!"

Jessie continued, "And make them breed with our creation!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"So that we can climb up there and secretly make love!"



"Speeding to the moon at full blast!"

"So that we can hump at last!"

"That's right! Wait, you 2 are in love?" asked Bichscrach.

"Yes Meowth, now will you please excuse us while we try to find some Pokemon to film an adult video for us!?"

"Err, ok." Said Bichscrach.

"Hey, let's not go too serious with this! I'm only a 10 year old kid!" yelled Ash.

He brushed past them towards the Elm Tree. "Professor Elm, please reward me with your most marvellous Pokemon!"

"All I have now is Humparita, Lickaquil and fuccadile. Which one do you want?"

"Hmmm…I'll take… Fuccadile!" replied Ash.

Professor Elm smiled, (if he could anyway) "I think you made the right decision! Here, take your fuccadile!"

"Wow! My first Pokemon! Let's have a look at it!" yelled Ash. He threw the pokeball and out came a fuccadile. It looked like a totadile, from Pokemon Crystal but this fuccadile was awesome. It had a long lump coming out from under it's stomach, that was the only difference.

"Wow, I guess it's time to start my journey as a Pokemon trainer!"

But suddenly, he realised something…

Professor Oak…

The retarded Pikachu…


Well, that wasn't the end but there's a whole lot more comin' your way! The next story is gonna be even funnier! Starring Ash "Tomato" Ketchup and Fuccadile. Here's a hint, Professor Oaks disappearance has something to do with Team Rocket /\

Pokemon Hater