DISCLAIMER: "Kim Possible" and all characters within (c) The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved.
SUMMARY: Kim and Shego are stuck in a collapsed lair with only a crate of Dr Drakken's Grape-Flavored Truth Soda to sustain them. I bet you know what happens next.
TYPE: Kim/Shego, Slash
NOTES: Set about four months after "Graduation", and acknowledging everything from the TV show as canon. While I generally prefer fics that let Kim and Shego realize their feelings over a longer term, this fluffy plot bunny refused to go away.
"Shego, is that you?"
"Yeah, Princess, it's me. Who turned out the lights?"
"You did, when you plasma-punched the lair's only load-bearing column."
"Pfah. I wouldn't have done that if someone hadn't ducked."
"Sorry, but I'm attached to my head."
Darkness. The silence disturbed only by a rasp of pleather on concrete.
"Shego? What are you doing?"
"Relax, Cupcake. There's a stone digging in my side. I'm just moving off it."
"Sorry. Nervous, I guess."
"Aw, is li'l Kimmie afraid of the dark?"
"Of course not. I'm afraid of getting a fistful of plasma in the face. Though speaking of your plasma, maybe you could light up ... we could at least see what's around us."
"Number one, Pumpkin: using my powers takes energy. I don't know how long we'll be here, so I don't want to do that. Number two, I am not a frickin' night light."
"I am not afraid of the dark!"
"What about your communicator?"
"Tried it already. No reception. Must be too much debris above us."
Shego rolled her eyes, despite this being somewhat pointless, in the circumstances.
"Not to call out. Use the screen as a light source. Assuming the batteries will hold up."
"Wade designed them. They should be good for years." A dim glow suddenly blossomed in the darkness. It cast only a shadowy light in a three or four foot circle, but it still seemed dazzling to eyes that had been straining to see in pitch darkness. "Eep, bright. Say ... this was a really good idea, Shego."
"Doy. It was mine, wasn't it?" Shego flicked her hair. "Move it around, Princess. Let's see what kind of hole we're in, here."
The hole they were in was a pocket of space about four feet high and fifteen wide, shaped roughly like a partially squashed circle. Massive blocks of concrete and stone loomed over the pair, interlocked with sharp-edged iron bars.
"Not good." Shego understated. "Did you see what happened to Dr D and the buffoon?"
"You mean Ron and the buffoon?"
"They were right near the door when you knocked the roof down on our heads. They should have made it out."
"So once Drakken's run away, the buffoon should call for help and we'll be out of here in what ... a couple of days?"
"If we wait to be rescued, at least that long." Kim concurred. "And assuming we haven't killed each other before then."
"That." Shego pointed up, "Does not look very secure to me. If we start rough-housing in here, we could both end up as flat as your chest."
"Just telling it like it is."
"You're only saying that now because we're stuck somewhere that I can't just kick your ass."
"Hey!" Kim sputtered at the dead-on impersonation of her father.
"You said that already."
"What are you, a broken record?"
"Not 'Hey! Stop picking on me.'," Kim pointed at a roughly cube-shaped object on the far side of the pocket. "But 'Hey! What's that?'."
"Bring the light over and we'll take a look."
The pair shuffled over on hands and knees.
"Doctor Drakken's Grape-Flavored Truth Soda." Kim read from the side of the plastic box. "Uh, what?"
"Dr D's latest plan to take over the world."
"Truth Soda. It's like that time you got hit with the truth ray, but in liquid form. Dr D was all 'White lies are the glue that maintains modern civilization! Without them, the world will have to bow to me!' Blah, blah, blah. That's when I stopped listening."
Kim looked nonplussed.
"Couldn't people just not drink the soda?"
"You miss the part where I said this was Dr D's plan?"
"Point taken. Well, at least we have something to drink while we're stuck here."
"You realize whatever goes in has to come out, right?"
"Best case scenario, we're here for two days. I'm not crossing my legs that long, regardless."
"I thought anything was possible for a Possible?"
"Possible, sure. Desirable? No."
"Admit it, Pumpkin. You just want to get naked around me."
"Trust me, Shego, the only thing that appeals to me less than seeing your big green butt is trying not to pee for days on end."
"Big? Big?" green plasma flared around Shego's hand.
"Uh uh uh." Kim shook a finger. "No rough-housing, remember?"
"Gah." Shego snuffed out her flames. "OK. Truce?"
"Truce." Kim held out her hand, pinkie finger extended.
"What are you doing?"
"You have to be kidding."
"I am not doing a pinkie swear."
"Yes you are. Pinkie swear."
"Couldn't we just shake hands, like adults?"
"No. Pinkie swear!" Kim's face suddenly seemed to morph, her bottom lip sticking out inhumanly far as her eyes seemed to grow into sad, plaintive saucers.
"Nyah! Fine! I'll pinkie swear, okay? See?" Shego hooked little fingers and shook as briefly as possible before letting go.
"Yay!" Kim clapped her hands and smirked.
"You know, Princess, I think the pressure of this situation is making you a little crazy."
"I was just getting you back for earlier."
"I thought we had a truce?"
"We do ... now that you've pinkie sworn." Kim smirked. "Hey, give me a hand to empty this crate."
"Why?" Shego asked, watching as Kim pulled open the lid of the box and began to unpack the plastic soda bottles from inside.
"Because this box looks waterproof and has a sealable lid." Kim explained. "Which means we can use it for ... waste."
"That's actually not a bad idea."
"It's a very good idea. Though I notice you're still aren't helping."
"You haven't said the magic word."
"You're kidding ... Okay, fine. Please help me empty the crate?"
"Sure." Shego pulled exactly one bottle from the box and placed it on the floor.
"Whatever. I'm almost done, anyway." Kim removed the last bottles and sealed the lid back onto the crate. "Now all we need to do is find something to do for the next fifty hours or so."
"We could sleep."
"For fifty hours?"
"I'm a very good sleeper. Dr D's rants give me lots of practice."
"We should play a game."
"Sure, we could play I Spy." Shego mocked.
"How about Truth or Dare?"
"Aw. Why not?"
"It's a dumb game. There's no interesting dares we can do while we're stuck in here, and everyone just lies when they pick truth anyway."
"We won't." Kim picked up two of Dr Drakken's soda bottles and tapped them together. Shego frowned.
"You sure you want to do that, Princess? I could ask some mighty personal questions."
"We're going to have to have a drink sooner or later, and there's nothing else here. Besides, I don't have anything to hide. I bet you do."
"Hey, I'm not the one with a reputation to lose."
"I thought you were a tough chick, but it seems more like you're chicken, right now."
"Fine." Shego grabbed one of the bottles and twisted off the top. "We both take a drink at the same time. The level of the liquid has to drop below the top of the label. No cheating."
"I don't cheat." Kim twisted open her own bottle. "Ready? Go!"
They each put the bottle to their lips and swallowed the bluish-purple liquid.
"Gah! That's the worst thing I've ever tasted!" Shego wiped her mouth on her sleeve as she pulled faces.
"It is terrible." Kim agreed. "I wonder how we'll know when it's taken effect?"
"Ask a question that would normally get a lie as an answer, I guess."
"Good plan. So have you ever kissed Drakken?"
"Yeah, at the last Henchmen's Christmas Party. But only because I was really smashed and he trapped me under the mistlet -" Shego slapped a hand over her mouth and glared furiously at Kim as the teen hero burst into giggles.
"You really kissed Drakken! Oh, that's too funny! Well, I guess we know the soda's working." Kim caught a glimpse of Shego's furious expression. "Sorry. That was mean. Your turn to ask a question."
"We're taking it in turns, are we?"
"Yes. My turn."
"What!? That wasn't my question!"
"It was a question. That counts."
"Okay. But if you get distracted and ask me what that noise was, I'm counting that as a question."
"I didn't hear anything. My turn."
"You lied! You said there was a noise!"
"No I didn't. I was just using that as an example. My turn."
"Fine." Kim huffed. "Your turn."
"Did you just start dating Stoppable as a rebound from Eric, or do you actually love him?"
Kim's eyes went wide and she jammed a fist into her mouth. Shego smirked at the stricken look on her frequent adversary's face.
"I did warn you it would get personal, Kimmie."
Shego rolled her eyes.
"Answer the question before you choke yourself."
"Aaaaah ... IstillloveRonbutIdon'tthinkI'minlovewithhimanymore." The words spilled out in a torrent.
"Because for all that he's a great friend and a great guy, he's changed since Graduation. I mean sure, he was kinda all ping-pong with the way he acted for the whole of last year ... some weeks he acted like he was the butt of some lazy screenwriters' jokes. But since graduation he's been a lot more serious and sensible and grown up. He's actually talking about trying to learn more about his monkey powers. Especially since he thinks it will help his sister when she is older. And if all that wasn't enough drama, there's the sex thing." Kim's eyes bugged out and her torrent of words came to a sudden stop. "Hey, that was two questions! I get two turns now!"
"How old were you when you lost your virginity?"
Shego goggled. Kim shrugged.
"You hit below the belt ... so can I."
"Either sixteen or never, depending on your definition of losing my virginity. And if you want me to explain that ... which I would prefer not to ... it counts as your second question."
"... but that's something that really does need explaining. Please?"
"My hymen broke when I was sixteen. From, um, self-fulfillment. So physically, I'm not a virgin any more. But I've never had sex with another person."
"Why –" Kim broke off, "Sorry. Not my turn."
"You're actually trying to be fair about this. I'm impressed."
"I am the hero in the room."
"When you were talking about Stoppable, you mentioned 'the sex thing'. What did you mean?"
"And you're definitely the villain."
"Answer the question, smart mouth. You know you're gonna have to."
"Actually, I think this stuff is wearing off."
"Wouldn't surprise me. Drakken made it, after all."
"We could always drink more."
"You sure you want to do that? And before you say anything, you can't count that as a question because you're not compelled to answer."
"We should drink. I still owe you an answer and there's no way I'm giving it to you without the soda."
"Ron and I had sex a couple of days after graduation. We'd had a great time at a beach party ... he'd booked a hotel room ... it was actually really romantic and well thought out."
"You're sure it was Stoppa - " Shego cut off her smart alec remark, "- never mind. No way my smart ass comments are going to cost me a question."
Kim smiled at the comment, then grew serious again as she returned to her answer. She had her hands clasped in her lap, and spoke without her usual confidence.
"... so we did it. And it was okay. It didn't hurt at all ... I broke my hymen when I was fourteen, doing the splits in a cheer routine." She caught the surprised look on Shego's face. "It happens sometimes. Not necessarily just from the splits, but intense activity, stretching and twisting the body ..."
"I'm not sure you drank enough of the soda. "
"I would so not be telling you the hymen story if I hadn't."
"And yet you haven't answered my question."
"I'm getting there." Kim sighed, "So ... it wasn't bad. But it was only as good as 'self fulfillment'." She made little air quotes as she appropriated Shego's term. "Well, maybe a little better. But I think if you really love someone it ought to be amazing."
"You know, it was your first time. Maybe you just need to practice."
"So not taking sex advice from the Forty Year Old Virgin."
"I'm only twenty five!"
"Anyway, we've done it a few more times since then. And I suppose you're going to make fun of me and call me a slut for sleeping with a guy I maybe don't love. But Ron's been such a good friend for so long. I don't want to disappoint him."
"No name-calling, Kimmie, but 'I don't want to disappoint him' sounds like a really lousy reason to be in a relationship that isn't working."
"I just don't understand why it isn't." Kim complained, "I mean, the first few months we were together were great ... at least once we got past the coupon thing."
"The coupo – no, not asking."
"Good call. But like I said, sometimes it was like dating a different guy every week, but through it all he retained his innate 'Ron-ness'. Since graduation, that's not there anymore. He's a different person. One I think maybe doesn't need me anymore."
"Huh." Shego found herself in the unusual position of having nothing to say.
Kim sniffled a little, but then pulled herself together.
"Why haven't you ever had sex with anyone? It can't be for lack of offers." Kim clapped her hand over her mouth and colored a little.
"Flattery, Pumpkin?" Shego smirked, but her good humor quickly fell away as she felt an answer she didn't want to give start bubbling out of her. "I'm scared. Not of the physical side of it. I love how it feels to orgasm. I ... I guess you could say I have intimacy issues. I keep people at arm's length, because people are jerks and if you let them in they'll hurt you. The thought of letting someone be that close to me ... of letting them make me that vulnerable ... there's only one person who I might trust -" she broke off.
"Aw." Kim pouted.
"No way you're getting more, Possible." Shego growled, "I answered your question."
"Fine. Your turn."
"During the Bueno Nacho incident ... when you said you hated me. Did you mean it?"
"Talk about a left field question." Kim raised her eyebrows. "... as I said it, I meant it. And when you hit the tower and it all caved in on you, I felt glad. I felt strong. That lasted a couple of days. And then for the next three weeks I had nightmares that I'd killed you. We're talking 'waking up screaming' type nightmares."
"I didn't know you cared."
"I care about everybody."
"Maybe, but it's my turn again. You know what I'm going to ask." Kim smirked, but the triumphant grin faded when she saw Shego flinch at her words.
"Yeah I do. But I don't have to answer it unless you actually pose the question. And I'm begging you, Kim ... please don't."
It wasn't the word 'begging' that caught Kim's attention: though to hear the proud Shego say it was certainly a surprise. It was the use of her real name. She paused, obviously thinking hard.
Watching her long time adversary, Shego swallowed nervously. Kim might show her mercy. Not that she felt she deserved it, or would have offered it in Kim's place. Finally she saw the ghost of a smile flicker on Kim's lips before the redhead opened her mouth to speak. Shego's heart sank.
"Why did you and Drakken go back to trying to conquer the world?"
"Drakken did it because he's a megalomaniac and I joined him because I was bored." She answered dully. Well, now Kim would know her secret, and she'd have it thrown back at her every time they ... "Wait, that was your question?"
"Not the ... other thing?"
"But don't you want to know?"
"Yeah, but obviously you were freaked about me asking it, and it didn't feel right to do that to you." Kim reached out and gently touched her hand. "Oh, and now you owe me three questions."
Shego barked a laugh.
But in her mental list of one, she crossed off the word 'might'.
Author's Notes: I guess I could continue the banter until the inevitable HLS begins, but this seems like a nice moment to end things. It's all sweet and fluffy.
I realize the idea of Shego-as-a-virgin runs counter to her usual depiction in fanfic (where she is often the sexual aggressor) and possibly also her often flirtatious behavior in the TV show. She does strike me as a character who deliberately avoids serious emotional entanglements, though. And I don't think it's that much of a stretch to imagine that need for distance also including an avoidance of physical intimacy with others. Sometimes flirtation can be a way of keeping people at an emotional distance.