These Faded Old Blue Jeans

Dark Lady Devinity

Axel remembered little of his life before. He had no interest in his somebody as that time held no importance to him now. It was the era before Roxas. It was the era of owning a heart that didn't love. But he did remember a pair of Levy's blue jeans that he had owned. He only ever owned the one pair. Denim wasn't a popular, or even commonly made, material to use in clothing. Yet he loved those blue jeans. They were something unique and different and he didn't know a single world that had them. The few times he had to himself were times in those jeans. He spent nearly his whole life as a somebody in a uniform and his entire life as a nobody in one. Then, after many years, the jeans faded out as the dye was stolen by the washer machine and the threads became weakened. He threw them out when it was no longer acceptable to wear them even in the privacy of his own home.

He had long since forgotten about those faded old blue jeans of his.

He never had any concern for his heart-filled life of old. Any memories he had were useless things because he wasn't that person anymore. He was Axel - got it memorized- the eighth member of Organization XIII. He never had to memorize it. Axel just came naturally to Axel. He could have continued to exist emotionally as a nobody forever, doing as he pleased and serving the organization because it helped pass the time. He made no friends among the members who came before him. He befriended Larxene and Marluxia because it suited him and, had he a heart, they amused him. But he didn't care if they stayed friends or fell apart. He even used them in the end and it didn't bother him. Nothing matters when you're nobody.

Then a fourteen year old boy with eyes the colour of deep mid-day blue lost his heart. Those eyes became a faded blue much the same shade as his old jeans had before he could wear them no more. They were the eyes of the nobody the boy left behind.

Axel often wondered if the darkness had left behind some part of his heart. There was no other explanation for the attraction he felt for the boy upon meeting him. As he told the boy to memorize the name Axel, the name Roxas was committed to his own memory. He found himself genuinely caring about Roxas' opinions and thoughts and found himself in a real friendship. Axel loved him, even though he couldn't love.

And had he a heart to break, it would of shattered when Roxas said no one would miss him because Axel would miss him. It was impossible and made no sense, but Axel just would.

He hurt when Roxas left him and rejoined with the boy Sora. Roxas would now be whole forever and that left Axel feeling as empty as he should have when he lost his heart. Yet he continued on with the life he had been living, doing as the organization ordered. He kidnapped Sora's sweetheart Kairi. Then he finally made himself really look into Sora's deep blue eyes and he gave everything up. Because those were the eyes that Roxas would have had had the boy been happy. And he did that kamikaze attack to save Sora because in the boy Roxas could live on but Axel had no place in the boy's life. Roxas didn't need nobodies.

So Axel faded away into the dusk, much like his old blue jeans faded away.