Disclaimer: I own many things but certainly not twilight or any of the characters although if I had Edward for an afternoon...
I glanced at the clock, 7.30pm, Charlie would be home from La Push soon, with a lifetime supply of fish I was sure.
I collapsed onto the sofa and turned on the tv, it threw colors and shapes across the walls of the dark living room. The Notebook was on, great! I love a good love story.
I settled myself onto the sofa and tried to focus on the screen now filling with images.
As the movie started I got lost in the epic romance that was Aly and Noah.
That should have been me and Jake, I thought to myself.
This summer was supposed to be the best summer of my life. Jake had promised me the world this summer and I had believed him. Ha I scoffed at myself.
We had so many plans...it was hard to believe it was almost over with school starting back up again tomorrow.
I was lost in my thoughts when I felt something wet on my arm. I looked down, it was a tear, they were streaming down my face now. I cried so often lately I didn't even notice anymore.
I hugged a cushion close to my body and wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my sweater. I looked at the tv to see the credits roll up the screen. I told myself that the tears were chick flick tears but my heart new they were Jacob Black tears and this angered me, it had almost been a month since I had last seen him and here I was sitting in the dark, crying with a crushed heart.
I couldn't keep doing this to myself. I wiped my eyes again and looked at my tear stained sleeve.
These are the last tears I will ever shed for Jacob Black, I promised myself. Tomorrow is the first day back at school, a new day, a clean slate.
Just then the front door flew open,
"Bells?" Charlie called out, probably wondering why the house was in darkness.
"In here Dad" I called back.
He took off his boots and set down his gear in the hallway and made his way to the living room.
"Bells" He called again, "Why are you sitting in the dark?" he asked, switching on the light.
"Oh...um... I was watching a movie, how was fishing? I asked
"Oh Bella the fish were..." he trailed off as he looked at my face for the first time since he entered the room.
I tried to imagine what I must look like, big red puffy eyes, sitting at home in the dark.
"You been crying Bells? he asked softly.
I blushed crimson and wiped my eyes again "It was just the movie Dad. It was a sad one"
"Oh right" he said, not believing me for a second.
My break up with Jacob hadn't exactly been a secret and I'm sure they were aware of it at La Push too.
"You know uh.." Charlie began, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I saw Jake today, he was asking how you were."
My blood became hot under my cheeks as he finished his sentance. "He said he tried to call you a bunch of times" Charlie added rubbing the back of his neck.
"Well the last time I saw him he had his tongue down Leah Clearwaters throat..." I shot back. I could feel the anger in my voice and the water welling in my eyes. "Maybe he thought her mouth was the phone!" I breathed heavily.
Charlie looked at me shocked with his mouth open...speechless.
"Sorry Dad." I said, calming down. "I didn't mean to lash out like that."
"You know kiddo, your Mom would be so much better at dealing with this kind of thing. I'm sorry I'm not more..."
"Its ok Dad." I cut him off. He glanced at me. "Really its just hormones" I said letting out a little laugh. The sound felt strange to me.
"Hormones right" he agreed laughing a little awkwardly, the room was silent for a moment.
"Well" he said suddenly, "I'm gonna put this fish in the freezer and then I'm gonna go to bed, I'm beat."
"Ok I'm gonna have a shower and get my things ready for tomorrow" I said.
"Oh right, first day back at school" he replied just remembering what date it was. "Are you excited?" he asked hopefully.
"Oh I can hardly contain myself" I said sarcastically, before heading to the bathroom. I heard him laugh and mumble to himself as I headed up the stairs.
I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I let my long brown hair fall loosely at my shoulders as I stared at my reflection, big brown puffy eyes stared back at me, my face pale just the hint of color still in my cheeks from my encounter with Charlie. My eyes were red and bloodshot too. I looked down at my tear stained sleeve again remembering my promise "No more tears" I said almost aloud. I stole another look at myself before getting into the shower and letting the hot water wash my worries away, at least for now.
When I was in my pj's, hair towel dried and teeth brushed I met Charlie on the stairs.
"Night Bells" he replied stifling a yawn.
I closed my bedroom door and went straight to the wardrobe. Time to get the school bag out.
When I eventually found it amidst all the clutter, I dusted it off and left it on the rocking chair by my bed. As I opened it I noticed something, there on the front pocket were the letter BS + JB wrapped in a big red heart. I stared at it for a moment remembering when I had done it. I could feel myself going back to that day...Ok new bag!! Snap out of it Bella I thought to myself.
I dug out an old schoolbag, it would have to do for now. I got into bed and pulled my earphones on. Once the music started, everything in my head went quiet. I started to drift to sleep and as I started to drift I started to dream.
I was sitting in class. I recognized the room, the people, the teacher...it was Trig ! The teacher called the class to attention.
"We have two transfer students from La Push joining us today class" he stated.
Just then Jacob and Leah walked through the door holding hands. My heart sank.
"This is Jacob Black and Leah Clearwater" Mr Varner introduced them.
This wasn't a dream this was a nightmare!!! I stared at Jake in horror, he was smiling completely content. I looked at Leah. She looked smug. The classroom seemed to be getting smaller and Leah was laughing, her shrill crude laugh getting louder and louder now. I put my hands over my ears and started to scream!
I woke myself up screaming. I gasped and then sighed with relief when I realized where I was, in my bed, in my room, wrapped in the wire from my earphones.
I looked at my alarm clock, 7.00, Charlie had already gone to work. Thank goodness for that! I didn't really want to explain the screaming to him although he knows by now I talk in my sleep.
I looked out my window, it was a cloudy overcast day, typical weather in Forks.
Oh well at least its not raining...yet I thought to myself. I dressed for the day in converse, jeans and a dark blue sweater. I looked at my hair and decided to leave it loose and down. I never really wore much make up but it was the first day back so I decided to make an effort. I slicked on some mascara, a little eyeliner and some gloss for my lips. Nothing too extreme. I brought my old schoolbag down stairs and threw it on a chair in the kitchen where I found a note from Charlie. It was difficult to read his childish scrawl.
Have a good first day Bells
try to contain yourself
See you later
I got myself a bowl of cereal, just as I was finishing it the rain came. I groaned.
After I brushed my teeth, I pulled on my jacket, pulling up my hood. I grabbed my bag and keys and I was out the door. I pulled down my hood when I was safe inside the truck and drove slowly to school.
I turned on the tempremental radio and was pleased when I got good reception, but changed my mind immediately when I realised what song was playing. I turned it off and let silence fall in the truck again. The words of the song came creeping back into my head. I thought about my dream and shuddered. No more tears!. But every song I heard lately reminded me of Jacob.
I pulled into the school parking lot. I was running a little late.
Nice one Bella! First day back! I scolded myself.
I finally found a space after circling a few times. Could it be any further away from the school? I thought to myself as I climbed out of the truck.
It was raining hard now. I pulled up my hood and began running across the parking lot towards the office trying to avoid the puddles. I have to get my new timetable I reminded myself.
The rain was in my eyes now and I tried to pull my hood up further to shield my eyes. I couldn't see where I was going. Not a good thing for a prone klutz.
Suddenly I crashed into something hard. I didn't quite know what it was but it knocked me on my ass.
"Ouch" I said as I hit the pavement. I thought it was a parked car until I heard an unfamiliar soft voice
"Are you ok?" Only then did I realise it was a person. I looked up through the sheets of rain falling now, to see the face of my road block.
My eyes took a moment to focus, he certainly was tall. When my eyes finally reached his face, my mouth fell open.