Now We Lay her Down To Sleep

Song Fic.. sorta short.. AU, this is after the last battle in Angel and Season 7 in BtVS.. Anya DID NOT die (sorry) and half the team lives in LA and the other Half in England.. this is what happened when Anya passed away thinking she was saving Connor and Star when she followed them to help in the Sewers..

PG or G for being sad sad SAD!

I miss you
I miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh its so sad

I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
Ohhhhh

The night was hazy and jsut overly hot, the night we lay her down to rest.. the rain had come rolling in and was for now, fortunatlly holding off..the funeral small, Buffy and Willow have flown in to be with Xander.. the two of them flankng him on either side as the priest read her final rgihts.. Dad behind him a gentle hand on his shoulder, Gunn and Lorne standinig on either side of him..

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wsh that I could see you again
I know that I can't

I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
Ohhhhh

I think it has jsut hit him how final this really is, I think he is jsut understanding that Anya is not coming back and the sobs that are coming from him are heartbreaking.. tears of grief, tears of sorrow for this woman that he loved more than life itself

I've had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened that you passed by

Now your gone
Now your gone

There you go
There you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back

Now your gone
Now your gone

There you go
There you go
Somewhere your not coming back

I stood back from the rest, i'm not really good with this kind of thing.. and when they lowered Anya into the ground Xander fell to his knees, his cries piercing.. Buffy and Willow right there with him, best frends holdng him comfortng him. but will that help?.. will ths pain he feels now ever go away?.. will this guilt I feel ever go away?

I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same

I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you...

There covering her now..Buffy and Willow are helping Xander to hiis feet. Dad and Gunn and Lorne are helping them.. he looks so tired, so old.. so broken..and I can't help but think that he looks like this becasue of me.. this was my fault.. Anya would stll be alive, has she not been followng becasue she thought we were in danger..

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you

Xander is leaving here tonight, flying back with the girls, back to England to be with his best friends and the man who over the years had become his father.. he can't be here, I heard him talkng to Dad this morning, he can't be here, the memory is jsut to much for him.. do you blame him?.. I don't, I don't blame him one bit.. and maybe in time.. the hurt will go a way.. but not for along time.. I don't expect to see him again, not for along time

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you

I quietly slip away, funerals are not my thing, but wasa here.. and now, I'm gong to see Star.. talk to her.. it should have been me.. it should have been me and not Anya..I head to the hosptal, the tears falling with the realzation that yes, it should have been me and not Anya, maybe I can fix that

I miss you