Disclaimer: Boo, no character in this is one that I have created. Testuya Nomura owns them.
Author's Note, August 2009: Oh, hi guys! You may be wondering, "whoa, why is she uploading a bunch of chapters of this story again?" Unfortunately, this isn't a real update. Chapters 3,5,6,7, and 8 were removed from ffnet a few days ago for "violating the guidelines." I wasn't given a warning or a reason other than that, but I'm not upset about it because it kept all of your awesome reviews still and gave me a chance to write up this long-ass author's note to explain some things to you guys xD I have gone through and edited the chapters in order to make them more appropriate for ffnet. I believe they should be fine now. If not, I guess I'll just post them elsewhere. Went through and took out a lot of the perverted humor, sorry :( I also took out some unnecessarily stupid stuff, the excessive swearing (haha, sorry, I really do curse a lot), and I also improved Naminé's characterization. Hopefully the writing is better now! :)
So what happened? Some of you have been asking, why have I not updated this since January 2009? Well, I guess college happened. I went to a school for a semester that ended up being a really wrong match for me, and it frankly sucked. Here's a little summary of what happened for you:
Big-scary-mean-college: WATCH AS I RUIN YOUR LIFE WITH BIOLOGY, CHEMISTRY, AND CALCULUS. WATCH AS I TURN YOUR BEST FRIEND WHO YOU IDIOTICALLY CHOSE AS YOUR ROOMMATE INTO A FURRY WHORE WITH THE GROSSEST AND MOST ANNOYING BOYFRIEND EVER. WATCH AS I GIVE YOU NO TIME OR MOTIVATION TO WRITE FANFICTION. BWAHAHAHAHA.
The-Sugar-and-Spice part of Michele's soul: FATALITY.
So yeah, long story short, this chapter (chapter 8) was written after first semester. It was very difficult for me and not any fun, which is why I have not written this story since. I only write if I enjoy it. My writing has improved, my interests have changed and as I read through the chapters that I wrote in high school, I found it hard to believe that I had written this stuff xD
But! Do not give up. I still love AkuRoku and I haven't totally forgotten this story, and I would like to finish it. I still remember how I wanted it to end, and I probably can do it in just one chapter. So I just want to thank you all for you support, your reviews (sorry for the period of months when I was terrible at replying! D: I almost always do now), favorites, and alerts! And for the fanart that I love. The whole reason why I bothered to edit the chapters and post them back up is thanks to you guys. I mean, they were gone for less than 24-hours and someone messaged me asking about them since they were translating them into Spanish. Holy crap! Your kind words have made me smile, blush, your advice has helped me to improve.
So this story is here and remains because of those who enjoy it - it is here for a fun and carefree read. It's not meant to be an epic or amazing story - I'm just happy if I can make people smile with it!
Please do not leave me a review in regards to the chapters being removed. I would rather have reviews just about the story itself. I have disabled anonymous reviews for a period of time because of this. If you want to talk about it or you have any questions, please send me a private message via my profile page. Thanks again guys!
Sugar and Spice
Chapter Eight: Confessions
One minute till class starts, Roxas thought as the clock's longer hand clicked one notch to the right. The boy tapped his pencil restlessly on his desk, glancing around the room obsessively as if its interior might change at any moment. Where is he?
"Huh?" The boy tore his eyes away to see Naminé sitting down in the seat next to him. Disappointment struck harshly. "Oh, hi," he said to her; then turned his gaze swiftly to the doorway.
"…Is there something wrong?" she asked worriedly to the back of his head after a few seconds.
Biting his lip, Roxas contemplated whether he should say anything or not but his nerves easily broke his composure. "Uh, well, Axel's not here yet and I'm just worried about him, is all…" He jiggled his left leg edgily under his desk as his eyes constantly darted between the clock and the door, wondering when that damn redhead would show up.
"Oh? Why wouldn't he be here?" Naminé asked conversationally, not at all catching the apprehension in his tone. Roxas cleared his throat, a specific moment of the night popping into his mind once again.
"We… went to the Oblivion concert last night." Despite his worry, Roxas was unable to keep a smiling from twitching onto his lips because it had been awesome in so many ways. "We didn't get back until it was early in the morning…and uh…" An automatic flush spread to his cheeks when he thought about when Axel said goodnight, but she thankfully didn't seem to notice.
"Ah, he must have slept in then," she concluded optimistically and turned to face front, ready for class. Roxas hoped like a sap that she was right. He'd always been a bit of a pessimist…
"Alright, today, we're having a pop quiz!" Xigbar announced with far too much enthusiasm for so early in the morning, especially when the sexiest redhead on earth was missing, as he entered the room. The whole class groaned, though Roxas couldn't care less what they were doing in math at the moment. He turned around one last time to see if Axel had snuck in without him noticing, but the redhead's seat was empty. When he faced front again, professor Xigbar was raising an eyebrow at him but he said nothing and just passed out quiz papers. Rubbing his tired eyes, Roxas blinked down at his test.
"A ferris wheel is 40 feet in diameter and its axle is fixed 32 feet above the ground. Marianne got on at time t = 0 seconds into the car at the bottom of the wheel, and as the wheel turned she found it took exactly 48 seconds to go from the bottom point on the circle to the top. Write an equation h(t) giving Marianne's height above the ground in feet at time t in seconds."
All Roxas could think of was how 'axle' looked like it was misspelled and needed to be capitalized.
Sighing in disbelief at himself at the fact that he was even considering calling upon them for help, Roxas asked in his mind, "…Guys…do you think I screwed up last night? Is Axel not here because of me? Am I just being paranoid?"
"Whoa, whoa, one question at a time. Don't start getting clingy already…" Roxas' devil replied almost automatically as he materialized, poking fun at his real-world-self's anxiety. "Think hot lips isn't here because of you? …Hmmm… I think you might be right."
"No, no, no!" Angel Roxas fluttered down onto his shoulder gracefully, stomping his feet on his words determinedly and making Roxas flinch. "Axel isn't skipping school because of you, don't jump to conclusions!"
"Yeah, but…last night…" Roxas blinked down at his paper miserably. "I didn't really…"
"Your reaction was perfectly acceptable," the angel reassured. "Your first kiss was stolen by a boy after all."
There was a short pause in which each Roxas flushed a bit but the silence was broken when the evil conscience snorted, "…Axel is not a boy."
Roxas' shoulder angel practically got whiplash from turning so quickly to gape at the devil. "…Wha…what's that supposed to mean…?"
Right away the trademark smirk slowly made its return to the other's face. "Puh-lease… Have you looked at him? Axel is alllll man!"
"…Oh my God," Angel Roxas spluttered, burying his face into his hands, mortified.
Roxas groaned, and copied his angel's actions. What was the point when they were never any help?
When the period ended, Roxas jolted awake at the bell that signaled it was time to move on to the next class. The only mark that he had made on his quiz was a nice puddle of drool, marking only the fact that he had fallen asleep. Reluctantly, he handed in his paper along with the rest of his peers, ready to accept his first zero in trig. But as Roxas was making his way out the door, a hand caught his arm.
"What's wrong with you, kid?" Xigbar asked him with a scowl.
Roxas blinked. "Uh, nothing," he said and shrugged him off.
"As if," Xigbar snorted. "You look like someone beat you with an ugly stick and then punched you in both your eyes." Roxas gaped at him, insulted, so the man added quickly, "No offense, of course. Usually you look very clean cut and… sunshine-y. …So what's the deal? You didn't even complete your test."
Scratching the back of his head, Roxas replied blandly, "I was up late, went to a concert last night." He appreciated that his teacher cared – but he had bigger things on his mind.
Xigbar studied him for a second and sighed. "With Axel?"
The blond shifted his feet and gave a short nod. "Yeah…"
"Oh, and he's skipping today now is he?" Xigbar asked suspiciously, crossing his arms.
Roxas' mouth fell open in protest, not meaning to have implied that at all even though the redhead was well-known for it. "N-no! I don't really know where he is-"
"He's skipping," his teacher concluded to his horror, pulling out a slip to give Axel a detention without considering obtaining any more proof. "That's what all the kids do after rock concerts…except for you, obviously. Weirdo."
"No, he, uh, might be s-sick or something!" Roxas stuttered, cursing himself for getting his friend in trouble.
With a roll of his visible eye, the man just pulled out a pen from his pocket to scribble on the paper. "You came to school. He didn't. And now I know where both of you were last night. Don't try to defend him, Roxas." Seeing the dismay on the boy's face, he went on, "I'm starting to think that kid has a bad influence on you. Taking you to a concert on a school night? Tsk, tsk. You're my best student, Roxas. I would tell you not to bother tutoring him anymore, but since he missed today's quiz, he's probably no longer passing."
Roxas was about to attempt sticking up for Axel again, when the cogs in his brain clicked to a halt with realization. "…Wait, he's passing?"
"Was," Xigbar corrected. "Well, I guess you are a good influence on him. So… if you see him, let him know he has a detention tomorrow for not having a valid excuse for being absent, but I'll let him take the test during it just this once. You can join him if you wish, since you slept all over yours. But he needs to come to class otherwise no more freebies and you'll stop wasting your time on him, capishe?"
"Uh…sure…" Roxas said to his over-sized shoes.
"Make sure not to forget to tack 'capishe' on the end there too, for effect." And with that, Xigbar slapped the detention slip into the boy's palm and went to his desk to watch YouTube.
Roxas dragged himself out of the room, wondering when he was going to see Axel next and how in the world he was going to get the courage to even talk to him.
The redhead wasn't in lunch either, which meant he definitely wasn't in school because he never missed a meal and it was his favorite 'subject' of the day.
So Roxas ate with Naminé by invitation, which was an interesting experience that only added to his anxiety.
"So you went to the Oblivion concert? How was that?" she asked while poking at the yellow lettuce in her salad. Wonderful, as if he wasn't already thinking about it enough.
Closing his cellphone because he hadn't gotten any texts from Axel and he certainly didn't have the guts to send him one, Roxas replied blandly, "Uh huh. It was great."
Naminé bit her lip and examined him for a moment, which made his current uncomfortable feelings only increase, before going on. "Just great?"
Roxas gave her a funny look, wondering why she was so interested when she claimed that Oblivion was 'just noise' to her. "It was fantastic," he elaborated with a sigh. "It was so freaking awesome… I could see everything because, uh, Axel put me up on his shoulders and it was so loud and kick ass and made for the best birthday ever!" He couldn't help but ramble and smile widely despite the fact that he was worried about Axel.
Swallowing down a gulp of her skim milk, Naminé nodded and smiled. "I'm so glad that you had such a great birthday. That's really cool for you, Roxas. I mean, you never really had a boy friend up until this year right? I'm glad you finally have a guy to be so close with."
Roxas nearly choked on his noodles at 'boy friend'. Seriously? Why did fate hate him so much? "Erm…yeah," he agreed awkwardly, practically wincing. There was no way that she knew, right?
Naminé propped her elbows on the table and looked at him with eyes that seemed to shimmer with joy and he drew back, studying her at a distance to try to figure out what the heck was up with her. "Hmm…and he's still not in school today. I bet you he's skipping," she said like she was all-knowing. Roxas scowled at her for making the same assumption as Xigbar. "Do you know where he is?"
The blond drew his eyebrows together, wishing that people would stop interrogating him about Axel. It wasn't like he was the guy's keeper – as much as he would like to be. He tried to pull off a casual shrug, but it ended up more like a nervous spasm. Naminé giggled, which only made him feel more embarrassed. "Yeah, the concert ran late into the morning and then he had to drive us back..." Even though Roxas figured that it was his own fault that Axel was absent. "Xigbar even gave me a detention slip to give to him because he didn't come to class and I kind of gave away why… I might be joining him to re-do mine as well. But uh, I don't know really know why he isn't here."
To his utter and complete surprise, Naminé slapped her hands down on the table angrily. She almost gave him a heart attack. "What? You don't know where he is? He could have gotten into a car accident on the way home! Aren't you the least bit concerned?"
Oh, Roxas was concerned all right. But he really didn't want to talk about it with the girl he'd been crushing on since he was a wee child. He only looked down guiltily at his hands and decided that he had completely lost his appetite. What if Axel really hadn't gotten home alright? It had been really late at night – or early in the morning, rather. He did have a weird British neighbor with an obsession for cards who was known for driving drunk, after all.
Since Roxas wasn't responding, Naminé whipped out her cellphone with a flash and began pounding buttons with her thumbs so fast, they were a blur. "Wh-what are you doing?" Roxas questioned nervously, lifting his head to try to catch a glimpse of the screen.
"Texting Axel to see what's up," she explained with her gaze still focused on her phone, the glow illuminating her light blonde eyelashes.
Blue eyes widening, Roxas opened and closed his mouth like his goldfish Goofy that he had won at a fair a few years ago and ended up killing because he didn't clean the tank. He couldn't help but think that he might suffer the same fate, suffocate in his own crap – figuratively speaking. "W-What are you saying to him?"
Naminé glanced up for a second, bangs getting in her eyes so she shook them out of the way. "I'm just asking him why he's not here. Why are you so fidgety? Did you two get into a fight or something?"
"…Erm, nope not really," Roxas said awkwardly, thoughts a little jumbled.
"You don't sound very convinced…"Naminé's eyebrows twitched in confusion at him.
Roxas gave her the 'oh, like I'm going to tell you' look, and then asked, "Why do you care?"
Brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, Naminé reached over and placed her hand on his. Roxas looked down at it, feeling the hairs on his skin prickle because he had liked her for so long, though there was something eating away at those feelings. And her hand looked…small. Too small. Felt too fragile, too soft.
"Because he set us up together," she said sweetly.
Luckily, Naminé's cell phone buzzed on the table so she removed her hand to retrieve it and Roxas relaxed his shoulders. She read the text with a frown and Roxas couldn't stop himself from blurting out, "What does it say?"
"'I slept in so I didn't bother coming to school'," she read out loud. Then she glanced up at him before reading on, "… 'How's Roxas?'..."
Said boy felt his spirits lift and he smiled a little, feeling slightly giddy to know that Axel was thinking about him.
"What should I tell him?" she asked next, fingers poised and at the ready to type away.
Roxas only blinked at her. "Uh…" What does a sad little bisexual boy say to the most amazing guy in school, who kissed him goodnight less than twenty-four hours ago?
Apparently Naminé knew better, for she started to dial out words without his consent, losing patience.
"Hey! What are you telling him?" Roxas suddenly thought of those chick flicks when girls would get together for sleepovers and one would call or talk to one girl's crush for them. This kind of felt like that. Roxas felt a little pathetic.
"That you want him to come over to your house later so you guys can study and you can give him his detention!" the blonde announced with an odd cheerfulness.
"Huh? No!" Frantically, Roxas reached across the table for the phone, but Naminé held her hand high in the air and at an angle too far away.
It was a wonder that Roxas didn't piss his pants.
Naminé flipped her phone shut triumphantly and disposed of it into her oversized designer bag, eyeing Roxas' frightened appearance warily. "What's wrong?"
He struggled for words for a few moments, but eventually, the boy was able to respond. "I could have told him that myself…" he lied with a strained voice. "And he doesn't want to hear that I'm giving him detention!"
"Roxas… Relax…" Naminé said quietly. "Axel is your friend, he should want to see you for whatever reason and it doesn't matter who he hears it from!"
After about a minute of awkward silence and poking at the food on their trays, her cellphone vibrated again and Roxas perked up like a curious little kitten.
"He said, 'Alright, I'll meet him at his house after school.'" Naminé said in a bright tone, flinging the hand that wasn't holding her phone up into the air. "Yay!"
Roxas nodded, so happy that Axel wanted to see him again and talk to him. But now the nerves switched over to fret about seeing the older boy again. What would he say? What would he do?
"I know. Steal his virginity," his devil finally said right next to his ear with a maniacal laugh. "Man… I still can't believe he's a virgin…"
"I don't understand what's so funny. You're still a virgin too…" the angel pointed out with a roll of his eyes.
Devil Roxas opened his mouth to retaliate but was hesitant. "Well… that's… no thanks to you, little prude!"
"When it's the right time and the right person-"
"Don't you dare say 'after marriage' or 'Naminé'," the evil Roxas drawled, curtsying and using a girly tone on 'Naminé'. "…Though I am still totally supportive of a threesome."
On the bus ride home, Roxas almost looked like he was having a mini-seizure, he was shaking so much. The boy did not have good social skills, especially when it came to those he liked. Especially those like Axel, who initiated something that boys don't often do together.
When he finally got home, Roxas flung the door of his house open. Not even bothering to close it, he ran to the bathroom to relieve himself. Honestly, those nervous butterflies in his stomach were making it so he was about to wet himself. He was in mid-pee when he heard a loud engine drawing close, slowing down. He quickly finished up and washed his hands. He'd been in that car enough to know the sound of it by now.
Dashing towards the door, Roxas caught his flustered appearance in the hallway's mirror; paused to try to compose himself, taking a deep breath. He straightened his clothing and his tie; then blinked dejectedly at his disheveled hair. Pursing his lips, he raised his hands up to the blond locks and futilely attempted to flatten the pieces that seemed to be sticking straight up into the air and overall make it look like less of a mess. It wasn't working though, and he huffed in frustration, pulling at the strands in his hands harshly.
"…What are you doing?"
The voice came from the doorway and Roxas whirled around, eyes wide and hands still tangled up in his hair. Axel could clearly be seen standing there in front of the screen door, looking stiff and not wearing his usual smirk of greeting.
"Hey…" the redhead said, his lips twitching into a nervous smile. The two stared at each other until Axel broke eye contact, glancing around at the spaces that surrounded Roxas in a completely obvious way. Seriously, the picture of Roxas' great Aunt Ruth was not all that interesting.
There was a long awkward silence in which the two only fidgeted nervously, perhaps waiting for the other to speak. Roxas' memory flashed back to that very early morning, Axel kissing him on his doorstep, causing his entire face to flush and any hope of thinking of something clever to say died in his throat.
"Uh… can I come in?" Axel finally asked, still smiling slightly.
Letting his hands finally fall from his hair, Roxas straightened up. "O-oh of course!"
The other boy made his way inside, giving Roxas a funny look as he drew closer. Roxas had forgotten how tall Axel was and swallowed tensely, almost painfully. The redhead paused a few feet in front of him, biting his lip and chuckling a little.
What the hell? Why is he laughing at me…? "What?" the blond demanded a little harshly, setting his expression to a glare. It was quite a challenge, considering that Roxas felt the strong urge to tackle him to the ground and kiss the redhead instead.
Finally Axel made eye contact again, grinning like his usual self, though it was softer than the mocking one he most often wore. "Ah, nothing, it's just… your hair…"
Roxas' eyebrows twitched down in confusion at him, but then he turned slowly back to the mirror to see that his hair was sticking out on the sides from where he had been pulling it. Oh great, he had only made it worse. Blinking at himself, he realized that he kind of looked like a blond Sora. Weird.
"You look a little like that Sora kid right now…" Axel commented amusedly, echoing Roxas' thoughts and catching him by surprise. "You should leave your hair alone. I like it the way it always is."
And suddenly Axel was closing the distance between them again, making Roxas feel light-headed, his eyes growing impossibly wide. His adrenaline spiked, and his consciences screamed "He's going to kiss you again!"
The redhead smiled and placed both his hands on either side of Roxas' head, smoothing the boy's hair down gently. "There."
"…Guh…" was all Roxas was able to say to him, mouth hanging open stupidly and most likely making himself appear extremely unattractive.
Axel's smile slowly faded away to a thin line, the older teen's eyebrows knitting together. Roxas cursed himself. Nobody wanted to kiss someone who was looking at them like they had the IQ of a meat wad.
Quickly removing his hands, Axel let them fall to his own sides. The already awkward air was only growing heavier by the minute. "Sorry," he mumbled.
"Tch, this is ridiculous, you two are acting like a pair of twelve year old girls. Be a man and just admit that you want him already and maybe he'll do the same," Roxas' devil remarked dryly, examining his nails.
The angel was standing on the opposite shoulder, hands behind his back and tracing a crease on Roxas' shirt with a sandaled foot, silent.
"What, you don't have some kind of anti-gay counter to that?" Devil Roxas called over to him incredulously; then paused upon seeing the other conscience's stance. "What's up with you? Is that…is that a blush on your face I see?" A slow smirk spread from ear to ear when the pure mini-Roxas looked up and his face was visibly red. "My, my! I think someone is starting to want Axel to take his innocence away-"
"Wha? No!" Angel Roxas protested, a few feathers coming loose from his wings and floating downwards slowly. "I would never! Axel's just… sweet that's all."
"Sweet, huh? Want to test that hypothesis? I'm sure Axel tastes very good-"
"Erm, so… Naminé said you were going to give me – detention?" Axel asked with an anxious laugh, scratching the back of his head in confusion.
"Oh, oh yeah," Roxas nodded, reaching into his back pocket to retrieve the somewhat crumpled piece of paper. "Uh, Xigbar kind of figured that you were skipping since he found out we both went to the concert last night and… yeah…" Wincing at his own disability to explain something so simple, Roxas held out the slip to him.
Axel took it tentatively from the boy and studied it with a scowl on his face. "Detention tomorrow, huh? Great…"
"I-I'm sorry. It's my fault," Roxas blabbered right away. "Xigbar gave a pop quiz and I fell asleep during it. He asked why and when I explained, he jumped to conclusions…"
"Jumped to conclusions?" Axel asked abruptly, eyebrows shooting up and almost into his hairline.
"Yeah… that you were skipping school…" Roxas elaborated, giving the redhead a strange look.
"Oh…" Axel nodded, seeming relieved. "Well, shit, I missed a quiz?" With a sigh, Axel leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. "Now I'm probably not passing anymore…"
All this small talk was practically killing Roxas; he didn't just imagine that Axel kissed him last night, right? This wasn't how he had pictured their reunion afterwards. In Roxas' mind, it had involved a little less conversation and a little more mouth to mouth contact. And a hell of a lot less awkward.
That's when Roxas noticed that Axel's hands were shaking slightly and upon glancing down at his own, he found they were the same. The redhead looked uncomfortable and jittery, like he didn't want to be there. Roxas realized that he had to give the older boy reason to stay. "Well, let's study together! I have to re-take the test tomorrow, anyways," he provided with faux confidence.
To his delight, Axel's expression brightened and he nodded. "Gonna tell me what was on it?" he asked with an eyebrow wiggle. The air seemed to lose its weight, sinking down to a comfortable level between them. It seemed that neither of them was going to mention the kiss or make a move and Roxas was okay with that – for now. He just wanted things to be at ease with himself and Axel; that was the most important thing, despite what the malicious part of his conscience suggested.
"Noooo," Roxas laughed, shaking his head and heading over to the couch. "I, uh, fell asleep after I looked at the first question anyways… But it's all stuff we've learned recently." Axel grimaced a little, feeling guilty for causing Roxas to be up so late that night but followed him obediently, sitting down in his normal spot where he was tutored. Roxas glanced over and took in the slightly awkward way Axel's knees bent above his thighs due to his height when he sat, smiling at the irony of things. Who knew that he'd fall for a tall, lanky, spiky-haired redhead with tattoos on their face? And a boy for that matter…
They got out their notes from class and shuffled through them as Roxas did the same with his thoughts, trying to pull out a way to keep things light and laid-back. "Uh, would you like something to drink?"
"Uh, sure," Axel responded, "What d'you have?"
"Soda," Roxas replied automatically. He drank so much it that it practically ran through his blood and it was a miracle that his teeth were still nice and white.
The redhead seemed amused by this, smiled crookedly and leaned back, tugging on his ear a little. His habit! His nervous habit that he did around Roxas! That was a good sign, the blond hoped. "Nah… I'll just have water," Axel answered.
Nodding and grinning tensely, Roxas scurried off to the fridge. Okay – things were a little weird; still awkward. But now was the time to fix it. But how?
"Head back in there and give him a lap dance or something," devil Roxas sighed tiredly, rubbing his forehead. "Whatever, just make it obvious that you want more than to be just friends. Friends with benefits even. Really good benefits, heh."
"Oh, shut up," Roxas muttered aloud, pouring himself a glass of cherry soda from the liter he had defiantly bought when his mom had foolishly sent him grocery shopping; then moved on to Axel's cup of water. Psh, water. No wonder he was so skinny.
He paused and took a deep breath, deciding that if Axel didn't do or say anything, neither would he. They would just go about their studying ways, drink their drinks, and he would figure out the rest later.
"Good plan, Roxas, I'm proud of you!" angel Roxas complimented sweetly.
"Suck up," the other said dryly. "I don't see you offering any advice."
Deciding also that he really didn't want to listen to himself argue anymore, Roxas strode back into the living room at top walking speed. But he reached the couch right as Axel apparently thought it was the perfect time to abruptly stand up and head for the doorway. Their timing couldn't have been any worse, or more perfect, one could say. The two collided together with surprised grunts, water splashing between them and cherry soda flying forward and wetting the whole front of Axel's shirt.
They stared at each other with wide eyes and open mouths for a long moment, Axel holding his arms out awkwardly – at what Roxas couldn't help but notice was a forty-five degree angle thanks to damn trig – from his sides. Soda was dripping from the redhead down to the carpet and it didn't help matters that he had decided to wear a white shirt that day. Having Axel's shirt be see-through made the situation almost ten times worse for Roxas.
"I knew he had a killer body under that school uniform," devil Roxas said smugly.
Somehow this made Roxas snap out of it and he spluttered, "Oh crap, I'm so sorry!"
Surprisingly, Axel only chuckled and shook his arms out a little, as if he had been immobile until Roxas decided to speak. "S'alright, accidents happen…"
The blond swallowed and tried to think of what to do next, opting to set the two glasses he was holding down onto the table. When he rose and his gaze returned to Axel, however, his whole thought process seemed to halt completely. His brain only knew to make his face flush pink and to keep his eyes fixed on what Axel was currently doing, which was peeling the hem of his shirt away from his belly. His flat, flawless, drool-worthy belly!
"Whoa what are you doing?" Roxas squeaked, eyeballs practically falling out of his head.
Thankfully Axel paused and blinked at him, shirt halfway up his stomach. "Uh…" He laughed uneasily, looking unsure of himself. "This shirt's covered in soda, Roxas. Do you have a spare I can borrow?" And with that the damn redhead decided that it was a wonderful idea to continue, pulling his shirt up and inside out above his head, getting stuck at the neck and squirming a little to get out of the trapping article of clothing. The blond in front of him took the opportunity to gawk at the chest he'd never had the privilege of seeing before while listening to the oddly sexy noises of frustration Axel was making. Oh this must have been some sort of twist of fate just to mock Roxas!
Finally Axel was able to tug the soda-sodden top off, red hair turning out a little messy on top of his head thanks to the struggle. He wiped at his chest with the dry part of the shirt as if it was a towel, then noticed Roxas ogling him and glanced down at his naked torso self-consciously.
Roxas was only faintly aware that angel Roxas had passed out some time ago on his shoulder and that his devil was flying circles around his head issuing commands. He couldn't comprehend much at all at the moment and neither could possibly have any influence because the dominant part of his mind was telling him, "Axel good. Axel wet. Axel hot. AXEL NOW!"
"Roxas, is there something wro–nnff!" Axel started to speak in what sounded like a concerned voice but was cut off when Roxas lunged forward, wrapping his arms around the redhead's neck and pressing a sloppy, wet kiss to the corner of his mouth. The force of Roxas' assault caused the redhead to stumble backwards with flailing arms, trip over the arm of the couch and land flat on his back, carrying the blond down along with him. They both landed with a startled grunt, Roxas now straddling the older boy's hips, hands still clutching onto his bare shoulder's instinctively from the fall. They were back to staring again for a long moment, muscles tense, unmoving, faces flushing.
"I'm s-sorry! I'm so sorry!" Roxas stammered at last as he moved to get up off of his crush, planning to run up to his room and hide under his bed for the rest of his life because he couldn't face the humiliation. But before he could even swing a leg off of the body underneath him, Axel grabbed hold of his hips, preventing him.
"Hey, hey! You missed," the redhead stated in a tone as firm as his grip on Roxas.
"Huh?" Roxas yelped frantically.
"You missed…" Axel reiterated, expression softening as he let go of Roxas' hips, much to the blond's relief. But all panic came rushing back when those hands suddenly cupped his face, pulling him down to eye level. Before Roxas could even realize what was happening, make some kind of flustered sound, or even question with his eyes, Axel had slipped his own shut and kissed the blond perfectly on the mouth. It was quick, but much better, smoother and more meaningful than Roxas' previous failed attempt. Axel gently let his hands fall away and Roxas pulled back a little breathlessly, gawking at the smiling redhead below him. He was on top of a sticky, half-naked Axel who had just kissed him. He couldn't have asked for a better situation than this, and yet he was completely lost as to what to do.
So a garbled "Oh," was all he could muster. An awkward silence followed, then "I'm sorry."
Axel just chuckled, the action sending Roxas bouncing up and down uncomfortably on his lap. "Don't say sorry… I thought… I thought I had completely messed up, the other night – this morning I mean, you totally didn't react…"
And finally – the subject Roxas had been thinking about and wondering when they would talk about it was on the table.
"No! You didn't mess up, I did," he quickly corrected. It was true, when Axel kissed him after the concert; he was completely shocked and didn't have a clue what to do. So he did what any flustered, nervous bisexual guy receiving his first kiss from another guy would do – nothing. And like an idiot, he had let Axel walk away without anything more; rendered speechless. "I'm sorry, I didn't know… what to do…"
"Stop apologizing already," Axel sighed, wiping a hand over the embarrassed expression on his face. "So, wait… you… were okay with that?"
Swallowing thickly, Roxas nodded. With the nervous combination of his heart beating so fast, the adrenaline rushing through his veins and the sweat threatening to gush out of his pores, he thought he might explode.
They blinked at each other with slightly bulging eyes as if they had just witnessed Larxene run streaking butt-naked through the room or something equally as frightening. Though understandably, the subject was a bit scary to both of them.
"I… thought you liked Naminé," Axel stated.
"…I thought you liked girls," Roxas said so quietly it was practically a whisper.
The redhead snorted and averted his eyes. "Yeah, I thought I did too – I do, I mean."
"But…" Roxas prompted.
"But," the redhead agreed, eyes flicking back to the blue ones above him, his green mixing with sincerity and hesitancy at what he would say next.
"I like you too, Roxas…"
"I… when…?" Once again Roxas was completely lost for what to say, he was practically a statue on Axel's lap. He had just admitted that he was okay with Axel kissing him; without any hesitation or consulting with his consciences and Axel had just came out about having a crush on him as well. He didn't know what think of himself – or Axel – at the moment. He could only sit there as a nervous bundle of nerves and hope that his muscles held up and that he didn't randomly collapse on top of the redhead.
"I found myself wanting all your attention, even though I tried so hard to help you win Naminé's," Axel explained softly, reaching up and running a hand through Roxas' unruly hair. "I couldn't really figure it out until finally… after the concert seeing you all flustered and confessing that you lied and all that –" Roxas was sure he was permanently crimson by now "- it… just kind of hit me. Don't really know why it took my stupid brain so long to figure it out."
Roxas looked up to the ceiling in thought. "Maybe you were in denial?" he asked, thinking of his own angelic conscience always telling him that Axel was only a friend.
Pursing his lips, swallowing hard and contemplating this for a moment, Axel nodded. "Yeah… "
"So what does this mean?" Roxas asked tensely; wondering how in the world Axel seemed so calm when they were coming out that they were gay for each other and their whole lives they'd been taught it was girls that they should be with.
"Well…" Axel replied, taking in a deep breath that caused Roxas to marvel at his chest again. "I kissed you… and you kissed me… and we kissed again. I told you that I like you and – I think you like me too. Uh, right?"
"Yes," the younger boy responded right away, making sure not to falter this time. He couldn't mess up again; he didn't want to lie anymore.
"I think that means we like each other, Roxas."
"…Oh my God," said blond murmured, covering his face with his hands.
"What?" Axel frowned, reaching up and taking Roxas' hands in his own, pulling them away from his face. "Are you embarrassed?" Suddenly, he looked fearful, confidence withdrawing back from his eyes. He slid backwards to get up, Roxas still moving with him whether he wanted to or not since he was sitting on the older teen's lap. Axel's voice was slightly panicked next, "Shit, I'm so stupid – I should have known better, for a minute there I was just so amazed that you weren't… disgusted with me or anything but–" He pushed at Roxas' hips to try to get him off. "I should go–"
"W-wait a second!" Roxas frantically interrupted his rambling before the redhead could go any further. Lightly smacking Axel's hands away from himself, he requested, "Don't leave, please?"
Axel squirmed a little but complied, making eye contact with Roxas and expression serious. "You have to admit this is kind of crazy," he said, sucking in a breath.
"You were fine with it a minute ago," Roxas observed and placed his hands delicately down on Axel's upper stomach to support himself, barely having the guts to touch him.
"Yeah, but, but…" the redhead spluttered. "What are we going to do?"
It was kind of ironic for Axel to be asking Roxas about this since the boy knew generally nothing about dating and received his first kiss – and then a few more – in that very same day. After a moment's thought, Roxas breathed out honestly, "I don't know."
"We can't just go on being the tutor and the tutored after this, can we?" Axel questioned rhetorically and winced slightly at his words, continuingly fearing the reaction. "Things… will be weird between us now," he clarified, and Roxas had to resist snorting – as if things weren't weird already. "As lame as it sounds, I don't want to stop being friends…"
Roxas gulped down a large lump in his throat and he could feel Axel's hastening heartbeat beneath his fingers. "Are you saying we can't be friends anymore?"
"Uh…" Axel seemed to be struggling a lot with this – almost as uncertain about it as Roxas was and it eased the blond's nerves a bit to know this. "I don't see how we can be… just friends now."
Ah. Roxas got it finally. It was either go their separate ways and pretend it never happened, or follow their desires and be more than friends. Axel was right, their relationship couldn't be as it was, there would always be their underlying feelings for each other whether they wanted to acknowledge them or not.
"Don't deny yourself something that you want Roxas!" devil Roxas shouted, " He wants you! Let him know!"
The real Roxas turned his head towards his shoulder angel for support. The innocent conscience was biting his thumbnail and said, "I told you lying wasn't a good thing to do and that's what you'll be doing if you don't tell him how you feel. You'll both be lying to each other and yourselves if you don't act now." He smiled at Roxas and then at Axel. "It doesn't matter that he's a guy… Though it's going to still be a little hard for me to get used to."
Roxas beamed; pleasantly surprised that practically his whole consciousness had accepted his feelings for Axel now. "Thanks," he told them in his head.
"Roxas?" Axel scratched the top of his head anxiously, waiting for a response and wondering why the blond was grinning so widely.
Roxas looked at him adoringly. "I like you a lot, Axel."
"Wha-? Really?" Axel's blush darkened.
"Yeah." Roxas felt like his confidence was growing slightly, he knew Axel liked him and Axel was nervous about the whole situation as well, so it was ridiculous to fear what to say, right? "I kind of realized even before I started tutoring you. You've been… confusing me for a really long time now," he admitted with a somewhat exhausted sounding laugh.
"Wow," Axel breathed as he propped his elbows on the back of the couch and pushed himself up to a sitting position. "What a compliment." He touched one of Roxas' cheeks with a hand, leaning forward, hovering close and pausing before kissing him quick. Unfortunately, this sent all hopes for Roxas' composure to remain right down the tubes. He ducked his head to hide the coloring of his face and moved his hands off of the redhead's torso to straighten his shirt self-consciously. But his fingers somewhat stuck to Axel's skin from the sugary soda drying on him; Roxas needing to somewhat peel them off.
"Oh, gross," Axel commented, making a face.
Insulted and hurt, Roxas drew back, frowning.
"N-not you! The soda on me!" Axel rectified with a laugh. "This is why I don't drink that stuff," he added with a wink. "Can I go wash up?"
Roxas bit down a smile, still slightly embarrassed, and stood to allow Axel to go clean himself off. He fetched him a shirt that fit the redhead just fine except for the fact that it was too short and they worked together to clean up the mess that was made from the drink on the carpet. Oddly enough, they began studying as normal, though there was a different air between them now, gazes always lingering a little longer. Perhaps they were to afraid to talk about their feelings for each other again, neither brought it up.
"Hey, after detention tomorrow, you wanna come study at my place instead?" Axel asked as he was leaving, draping his dirty shirt over one shoulder. He scratched the back of his head and said in a quieter voice as if someone might overhear, "Uh, we can talk more then, too," hinting back to their earlier conversation where they had somehow lost how to continue it.
"Uh, yeah, sure," Roxas replied with a lopsided smile, fingers playing nervously at the sides of his pants.
The redhead took a step forward, hesitated, and decided against whatever he was going to do. "Okay. See you tomorrow then," he said, ruffling Roxas' hair before heading out the door to his car.
Tomorrow. Roxas had always wanted to see Axel's place, he credited it to wanting to know more about the boy – it most certainly wasn't like he wanted to stalk him or anything. Admittedly, he felt his pulse race in anticipation – and nervousness at what might happen. Okay, tomorrow they could discuss more of what this meant and what they were going to do. Axel actually liked him, and knew that Roxas liked him back. And he seemed okay with it, just as Roxas did. The taboo of two boys being together didn't seem a big deal anymore. Though it would be at school, which was a big concern – if they were going to date, that is. Were they? As Roxas was watching him drive away, devil Roxas popped up on his shoulder and said smoothly, "Don't worry about it now… I do believe it's time for me to announce that I totally just won…"
Angel Roxas shook his head but couldn't contain his smile either. "Oh, shut up and go to hell."