The Grand Finale Epilogue Thing.
AN: This is our epilogue. But it sorta isn't. You see, this is the chapter where we sorta...'end things.' Please don't be alarmed or review saying things like 'what?!' or 'this makes no sense!' It's not supposed to...well... it is...but it depends on how imaginative you are. The main point of this is that it is our last chapter of this story, our "Grand Finale" and we want to have fun with it. Because of the fact that this may be all over the place, the dashy-thingys (like this: --)mean we are changing subject or perspective. Also, there is a nice big time jump between this chapter, and the one before! Enjoy!
"Oh lets go for a drive...la la la...Vah-ROOOM Vah-ROOOM...weee...driven'..."
A servant looked about the window, and she says to her friend "Um..what is he doing with the lawnmower?"
...he never quite got over those side-effects...poor guy.
The black cat licked her paw as she sat in the middle of the market. The stall she had vacated was a mess, the poultry vender was unconscious. Feathers were everywhere.
The noble in the black cloak who so discredited the fruity drink, punch, stood one again at a drinks table staring at the big bowl of pink liquid. He wrinkled his royal nose and took a royal spoon and dipped it into the drink. He took the giant spoon out and watched it fall slowly from the spoon, into a little plastic cup.
"Byakushi!!" He dropped the cup in surprise as a girl jumped on his back. "Byaka-nisa what are you doing?"
"Um, do I know you?" The ShiniFairyGodgami gave a wide smile.
"Maybe ya do...Maybe ya don't..."
The guards were walking down the hallway, headed for the kitchen to eat more cake. Or in Hisagi's case, he was going to watch Nemu make cake while eating cake at the same time. WOW! Multitasking! Renji walked a little faster to get in front of Kira and Hisagi before turning around and walking backwards so he was facing them.
"Did you hear about Momo? Apparently the Prince has taking a liking to her and she's going to live in the castle with the two twins of trouble." Hisagi looked at Renji strangely.
"The two who of what?" Renji sighed at Hisagi's incoherence to understand him and his awesomenesses.
"You know, Nel and Yachiru..." he made jesters with his hands trying to make Hisagi understand faster so he could get on with his news. A look of understanding crossed over Hisagi's face before quickly turning into one of skepticism.
"Well, what do you think?!" Renji asked impatiently.
"I'm very happy for her. Aren't you?"
Renji nodded. "Of course I'm happy for her. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn't?" He turned to look at Kira who had been silent the entire time. "What do you think about it?" Kira looked up with a dazed look on his face.
"I think the whole thing is just kind of magical. Kinda...fanta...psycho...logical." He looked at the others with a proud look on his face.
"Fantapsycho-what?!" Hisagi shook his head.
"Man, you REALLY need some cake."
Ukitake could hardly contain his joy. He was jumping on his throne like sofa thing that had gold trimmings, he was so exited. He had just gotten a call from his son that he had found the girl he was going to marry and they were headed to the castle to meet the king-him-and Hitsugaya's father -also him-. Sentaro came into the hall.
"THE PRINCE AND HIS MOMO ARE HERE, SIR." Ukitake nodded impatiently. He wanted to see this Momo.
"Well, send her in!"
"OF COURSE, SIR." Sentaro ran out of the room quickly, knowing that if he didn't get the prince in soon, his dear king-ship would explode...or something along those lines. The doors of the throne hall opened and Ukitake could see Hitsugaya on the other side walk through the big double doors, before being pulled back out. He could hear hushed whispers of encouragement coming from the hall before Hitsugaya came back into the room pulling a small looking girl along, who was wearing jeans and a plain t-shirt, covered in dirt. WHAT?! She didn't look like a princess at ALL. His son couldn't marry a commoner! He would have to take this up with him later.
"Toshirou! How are you! And this must be Momo! It's a pleasure to meet you dear," he got up off of his throne like thing and went over to the couple.
"Momo, we have MUCH to talk about, but first who is you wardrobe manager? We will have to get you something to wear! We can't announce the engagement of the prince and you with you dressed like that can we?" The girl blushed and looked down.
"I-I'm sorry. Someone took all my clothes and the rest was taken to the laundry. I think it was Yoshi..." Ukitake got even more excited...if that was possible.
"Yoshi?! Oh who is she?! Is she your mother? Or maybe your sister, or a maid, or a friend, or a friend of your mothers or fathers, or just a random lady who comes and takes your clothes to wash although why a random lady would come to your door and take your clothes away to wash them for you, especially if you're like us and have tons of maids and butlers to do it for you cause I mean come on! Who want's to do laundry? It's like the most boringest thing there is! So if the lady who takes your laundry away and washes it for you is a stranger, how do you know she isn't stealing your clothes?" Ukitake paused and got a look of OH MY GOD on his face. "What if someone came into your room and was like a ninja" he emphasized his point by kicking and almost hitting Sentaro in the gut. "So the ninja lady came into your room and was all, dun dun duuuuuuuun and then she took all your clothes in your closet, but the strange stranger lady already took your clothes to wash so the awesome ninja lady only grabbed all the clothes in your closet and then, while singing the pink panther theme song, climbed out the window and hopped into her ninja bat mobile and drove away! So now here you are with no close except for that! You pour thing! I'll have Kiyone come and take you away and get you something to wear and then you can meet back up with Toshirou and he can take you to his room where you will be staying with him cause I mean you to are getting married, and then after Kiyone is done with you and you're with Toshirou again you two can do what ever you want. Get my drift?" He finally stopped and looked at his son and the beet red girl in front of him.
"Father, did you have to do that?" Hitsugaya turned to Momo and made her look at him.
"You can sleep across the hall in one of the MANY guest rooms. Okay?" Momo nodded and then turned back to the king.
"So, where is this Kiyone?"
Ukitake smiled. "Sentaro, could you please get Kiyone?" Sentaro nodded and went to the door.
"KIIIYYYOOONNNNNEEEEEEE!!" Momo held her ears as the yell echoed off the walls.
"Coming, coming. Don't need to let the whole kingdom know I'm wanted but to late" she mumbled as she walked up to the king.
"You called," she turned and glared at Sentaro. Ukitake smiled.
"Yes, well more like Sentaro did the calling but yes. Can you take Momo here and get her something to wear?" Kiyone nodded and turned around.
"Come on." As Kiyone led Momo out of the room, Momo stopped.
Kiyone turned. "Yes?"
"I kinda have a no frills policy." Momo said tentatively.
"You are just like Hitsugaya!" Kiyone exclaimed before turning and walking out the door with Momo following once again. Hitsugaya turned to the king.
"What was that for?"
Ukitake smiled. "That was me getting to know your fiance."
Hitsugaya sighed. "But did you have to SCARE her?!" Ukitake only smiled wider.
Ninja lady/Soifon POV
Soifon the ninja lady drove through her town in her ninja bat mobile singing her favorite song at the top of her lungs.
"SPIDER MAAN. SPIDER MAAN. DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER CAAN. SPIND A WEB, ANY SIZE. CATCHES THIEVES, JUST LIKE FLIES. LOOK OUT, HERE COMES YOUR SPIDERMAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!" She looked into her rear view mirror, catching sight of the pile of clothes she had just stolen before laughing maniacally.
"MUAH HA HA HA." She stopped at a red light and turned to the person next to her.
"I am the great and all mighty ninja lady! Fear me and my horde of angry ninja turtles. FEAR MEE!! FEEEEAAAAARRRR MEEEEEEEEEE!!" As soon as the light turned green the car next to her sped away.
"I don't know why people don;t like me. I guess they just can't handle the awesomeness of my ninjaness." She shrugged and sped after them, screaming Yankee doodle. I love my life.
"Sir, there is a call for you!" Kiyone ran up to the king holding the phone.
"Oh, joy! A phone call! Who is it?" Ukitake reached for it.
"It's the prince, sir."
"Why would Toshirou be calling me now? He, like...just left."
"Oh, no, sir, it's the other prince."
"Yep. The one with the ugly suit at the dance, the one who ran off with Ms. Matsumoto."
"Oh, him?? I remember...that back-stabbing princess-stealing little-"
"Hey I can hear you!" The little voice of the angry prince came from the receiver.
"Oh, yes." Ukitake put the phone to his ear. "Yes, Prince Kurosaki, what can I do for you?"
"I was just wondering..." He answered. "Was it you who sent us the package of half eaten raisins as a wedding present?"
Ukitake grinned, and was glad Ichigo couldn't see it. Kiyone was listening with interest.
"Half a package of raisins? Why in the world would you suspect me of that?" The king asked innocently.
"Well, lets think," Ichigo said sarcastically. "Maybe because of the note crammed inside it that said "ALL THE RASINS YOU DESERVE!!" signed with the king's emblem. I mean, it you wanted to remain inconspicuous about the whole thing at least make you're self and alias!"
"Hmm..." Ukitake thought out loud annoyingly, knowing full well that he was totally pissing off the prince and was happy about that. "You know what, Ichigo? That makes a lot of sense! I will make myself and alias next time!"
"Hey...I wanna talk Ukitake too!" The voice of none other than Princess Rangiku said faintly, off in the distance on Ichigo's end. "Put it on speaker phone!"
"Ok," Ichigo said. "Um...how."
"You have to hit the orange button." She replied.
"All the buttons are orange."
"Hit the one with the little speaker in it, then- NO not that one, idiot! Thats RECORD! This, button, this button! Ok."
Her last word was louder this time. They must have hit the right button.
"Heeeey Ukitake-Teriyaki!" Rangiku called in a sing-song voice.
"Excuse me?" Did the all mighty king suddenly get referenced to a smoky flavor generally use in dried meat? He better not have.
"Hey, hey, hey I'm wondering, Uki, was I like, supposed to do something at that dance? Did you like, tell me do do something and I totally forgot, because if I did forget, forgive my unholiness, or...whatever it is..."
It was then Ukitake decided it would be better if he just...hung up. So he did.
"MOTHER!!" Nitdata screamed dragging a servant by his collar into Yoshi's sleeping chambers.
"What is it, dearest?"
"Mother! I found this servant locked in a closet! And he says...he says..."
Yoshi stood up. "Says what?"
Nidata took a deep breath and said "Momo...Hitsugaya...gonna...get...MARRIED!!"
"WHAT!! IS THIS TRUE??" Yoshi rounded on the servant.
"I-I-I th-th-ink s-so m-ma'am..." The servant stuttered. "I've b-been locked in th-that closet f-for a w-while..."
Nidata was backing away from her mother who was looking like she would explode.
"Mother, you won't let this happen!!" She whined.
Yoshi looked down at her daughter, and her monster-face cleared, and an evil grin spread across her face. She sized Nidata up, squinting at her figure.
"No," she said. "No, I won't let it happen...I have a plan...You there!" She pointed at the servant. "Get a copy of the dress Momo will be wearing. An exact copy. Now!"
Looking terrified, the servant nodded and fled the room.
"Ready to get married, Nidata?" Yoshi smiled and patted Nidata's head.
"This is fully utterly terribly terrifying." Momo said looking in the mirror.
"Oh, AWSOME! Can you fit any more adjectives in that? Like, you could have said 'fully utterly terribly terrifyingly terrifying', or 'completely utterly terribly terrifyingly terrifying', or-"
"Rukia, that isn't helping."
The ShiniFairyGodgami looked anxiously at Momo. She had shown up again with a bunch of dresses in all sizes for Momo to try on. After a and hour or so, Momo and Rukia had found one they both liked, (Rukia finally giving in on not having her wear the bunny patterned one) and Momo was now checking it in the huge floor length mirror Kira had brought in with the help of his buddies.
"I'm so freaked out though..."
"It's normal to be freaked out. But this will be fun though! Like a huge ginormous party!"
"How come you never call me ShiniFairyGodgami? Or FurryGodBunny? Those names are so much cooler!"
"They're just uh...I like Rukia!"Momo avoided looking at her. Rukia looked bemused.
"What ever you say..." The ShiniFairyGodgami answered after a moment.
The wedding was sure to start in a few minutes. Momo took a deep breath and walked out into the hall of the prince's castle. Down the hall, the door opened out into the huge courtyard where the wedding guests were situated.
"See you Momo! I"ll be in the front seat!!" Rukia called and she hopped off to the courtyard. Momo made to follow her, but someone called her name.
She turned. It was Yoshi. She didn't look angry, just a little anxious looking.
"Yes?" She asked tentatively.
"I just want to say how happy I am for you."
Momo blinked. "What?" She looked around, wondering if someone else had spoken those words and not Yoshi, but no one else was there. It was definitely monster-mom who had spoken.
"I said that I'm happy for you." Yoshi said. She took hold of Momo's arm. "So happy in fact, that I think we should celebrate!" She pulled Momo down the hall, in the opposite direction of the courtyard.
"No thanks, I don't want to be late..."
"We don't need to worry about that." Yoshi was close to dragging Momo away.
"Yes we do! Let me go!"
Yoshi smiled evilly. "I don't think that's necessary."
Momo stared at her stepmother incredulously. Years and years of torment from her had finally reached it's limit. Momo would no longer be the little girl pushed around by people. Her tolerance for Monster-mom had evaporated.
"Let me go!" She shrieked and twisted out of Yoshi's grip and punched her in the face. That felt good. Momo picked up the hem of her dress and ran for the doors. She was late. The music had started.
-Two Minutes Previously-
"Go Nidata, go!" Yoshi pushed her daughter a few steps. "I'll take care of Momo."
Nidata stumbled, but regained her balance and began walking down the isle wearing the copy of Momo's dress. The only problem with this was that it was an exact copy. Exact. Momo was taller than Nidata. The dress was too long. She tripped.
"I thought I told you not to get carried away with the guest list."
Ukitake looked guiltily at his son. "I tried no to, Toshirou."
"Yeah. Is inviting the whole entire kingdom you're idea of not getting carried away?" Hitsugaya squinted down the very very very very long isle.
"Here she comes!" Ukitake said excitedly.
Hitsugaya could barely make out the girl now walking down the isle. He guessed it was Momo, but how could he tell from that far away?
It was then that the girl tripped and fell over. The crowd gasped. At that very moment another girl burst through the great doors and stared running down the isle. Momo? It was Momo! But...who was the girl now sprawled on the ground?
The crowd gasped again. The other Momo had tripped over the Momo who had tripped and fell over.
"Nidata!! What are you doing!"
Her step sister moaned and tried to get up.
"It was gonna trying to be sabotage Momo!!" Yachiru and Nel ran up. "Go Momo go! We'll hold her!" Yachiru sat on Nidata's back, and Nel plopped down happily on Nidata's head. "You isn't goin' anywhere." Nel growled in her little voice to Nidata.
Momo looked down the long long long long isle. Seeing Hitsugaya standing on the alter gave her motivation. The music started again, and she walked.
The day was beautiful. The sun shown down on the courtyard and all was quiet except the few noises; The old guy reading from that big book to the crowd, the ShiniFairyGodgami crying happy little tears in the front row, hugging the black cat tightly- Yoruichi's eyes were popping and she made little gulpy noises as she was being half strangled by Rukia, and a tell-tail bird who sang a joyful song in the tree above Momo and Hitsugaya. The old guy closed his book, and his final words rang in the afternoon, "May you be forever bonded, as husband and wife!"
And they all lived happily ever after...in happy Bleach land. When they all died they lived happily ever after...again, in soul society. Funny how those things kind of happen.
(The end!! Ooo, exciting!!)
AN: Thanks for reading all you guys! Your support made this story happen! YAY!