Chapter 6: Secrets

7.30, almost breakfast. It's very calm and breezy. I gaze outside. Nothing to stare to, just endlessly snowfield. All is white, nothing more. This house too, seems boring now since Toya and I wish to move from here. Maybe, it's a good choice to leave this place and move to Yokohama. I'm sure Yokohama is a better place. But in such a big city, of course I will miss this tranquility. So peace, so calm, so tender. But…

"ARGH!" someone's voice screws it up. Yup, that's Toya.

"What's wrong?" I mouthed.

"My book! It's gone!"

"Ah! That silly book. You brought it with you last night." If I'm not wrong, of course.

"Where? And it's not silly!" he points his finger on me.

"Your room?" Maybe? If I'm not wrong, again.

"Did I?" he puts his right hand on his chin, and starts to think, "I mean no. I remember it. I didn't bring it along me. After we saw the falling star and after Chitose told us to sleep, I remember I didn't touch the book."

"I'll go ask Chitose."

Before I could stand, Toya pull me, and say, "No!"

"Why not?"



He remains silent, mysterious silent. I don't get it. Why he doesn't want Chitose to know about the book. He keeps the book secretly since he found it. I don't know where he found it. He never told me anything about the book, except he found it somewhere in this house.

"Who was screaming?" Chitose always care about us. She will run from kitchen to us when she thinks that we are in trouble.

"it's Toya."

"What's wrong, Toya?" Chitose squats in front of him and look him into eyes. But not for Toya. He doesn't want to look Chitose. He throws his face.

"Ah, Chitose, do you see a boo..up!"

He's shut me down with his hand! I'm struggling! Help, Chitose!

"Nothing. Really."

"up! Oof!" Stop this! I can't breathe!

"Really? You're sweating a lot. Do you feel sick? And what about Atsuma? It seems he want to talk."

Do you hear it, Toya? Chitose worries about me. Let go of me!

"it's really nothing. Just tired. We played many games, right Atsuma?"

"Up, up! Mph!" no, it's not! But, he pinches me. Hurt! "UMPH!"

"Is that so?" Chitose's face seems not sure. "You must be hungry. Breakfast will be ready soon"

Chitose leaves. Toya gets his hand off me. Time to sue someone.

"Are you crazy? I'm almost died!" oxygen, I need lot of oxygen. Huff, huff, hah.

"Never tell Chitose about the book. Understand?" He says it with seriously serious face. Makes me more curious.



Again, silence answers me. He still remains silent until breakfast. We usually sit in a round table, eat our breakfast and chat with happily. Ah, that reminds me, he never told us about Yokohama if Chitose's in. Is this a secret? Why he would keep secret from us?

"Toya, is something wrong? Is it not delicious?"


I hate when he silent, so I nudge him. Not too hard yet not too soft. I just want him to regain his senses.

"Ah! Sorry, I just don't feel like eating."

"Are you sick?" Chitose worry face, I don't like to see it. It's because us, she must like this. Worrying too much, doesn't suit her. Can make she looks much older. Not just her, everybody doesn't suit to worry too much, it'll makes you old faster. So, cheer up like me, is the best.

"No. But I need some rest."

He leaves. Just like that. Are you sick or what! It's rude to leave someone who is worry about you like that. I gotta scold him. Oh, but I need to finish my breakfast first.

Geez, I'm finish. I'm moving toward target, Toya. He must be in his room. No need to be polite anymore, I will open the door without knock it.

"Hey!" I open the door and see him standing in front of window, gazing the field. He doesn't notice my presence. Without any blah and blah. I'll just to the point. I walk to him, and say, "What's wrong with you?"


Again , silent is his answer. But it won't stop me to push him to talk.

"Hey! Are you listening?" I MAD! I admit it. I push him hard. It's just a book. How come you get to be so angry to just lose a book?

"What!" he annoyed, I can feel it, I can see it from his face.

"Man! What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing!" he doesn't want to look at me. What kind of attitude is it?

"Nothing you said?" I'm upset. Really upset. Why he doesn't want to tell the truth? Just tell me 'Well, it's about the book, Atsuma.' Although, I'm a bit dumb, but I'm not so stupid to not know about your problem and your mood now. You can't lie to me. I will reveal it now! "It's just a book! What make you so angry?"

"Forget about it…"

This is definitely NOT Toya, the annoying boy. He doesn't want to look at me. I'm not that ugly, it'll not hurt your eyes just to see my face. I'm cute you know! "Fine, I just forget it. Can you happy now? Don't make such a scary face."

"Ah…" just his reply…

Man, it's suck! It's already night. But, Toya isn't willing to play with me. It's very suck today!

I lie down on the carpet. It's very warm. I roll over and over from tip to tip. It's so soft. I can feel spring will come after this, but it's impossible. This is snowfield where snow is eternal in here. I enjoy myself on it. Roll and roll. Until…


My… little toe… it's… hurt! Aw, my feet… I kicked the table… I hate it! I roll over in pain. It's very hurt. My tears burst out. I want to scream. Eh? What's that under the table? AH! That's the book. It still open. I knew it, it couldn't be lost. It's too difficult not to notice such a big book. I'm going to report to Toya.

I knock his door, it's good news and I need to be polite. I smile widely; it's my stand by phase. Toya opens his door and I say, "Cheer up! Here it is!" TARAA! I show the book in front of his face.

"GASP!" he pulls me inside his room, so violent! "Where did you find it?"

"I won't talk."

"Wha! You little brat!" He wants to pinch my stretchy face. NO! I'm not a teddy bear.

"You also a brat!"

"What do you want from me?"

"It's easy… Apologize…" I'm nodding my head ups and downs. You can't beat me, Toya.

"Huh? Hey! What, I've done wrong!" I know you angry, Toya. I get you.

"Yup! Being selfish step one, being selfish step two and three. And causing me a lot of trouble."

"Stop joking around! Just tell me!"

"Nope." I close my eyes and throw my face aside. I won't talk until I hear what I want to hear.

"Come on!"

"Dunno." Silent for awhile. Not a good sign.

"Alright… I'm sorry… I just… no…"

"Alright, alright. I'll tell ya. I found it under living room's table."

"How come?"

"Maybe you kicked it?"

"Did I?" Silent again. Now what? "A-Ahahaha… Yes, I did it. Hahaha… I'm sorry, okay?"

I'm glad, it's solved now. Now he won't ignore me again. I won, again. Such an easy victory.

"Wait, but how could you find it? I, myself, couldn't find it."

Ops! What should I say? I don't want him to know about my stupid action, roll and roll. It's so embarrassed. It seems, it's not my full victory yet. But I need to say something. "W-well… sometimes you laid on the carpet and roll, roll, roll, roll, roll…"

"…Enough. As long as my book is with me, I don't care how you can find it."

"Now you're smiling."

"Yeah, yeah. I just got something in my mind." He's little embarrassed. His cheeks show a little red. That Toya.

"What's that?"

"None of your business. Now, get out."

Wha! I can't believe it. He's such a rude brat! I helped him and he kicked me out of his room. You'll pay for this. But, well, everything settled. I can sleep a sound tonight. I dream about my new family. Where Chitose, Toya and I can live in a warm place. Better from this place. Where spring will come every year. Where the sun smiles on us every day. And where snow can't live for eternity. So warm. We run in the flower field. They tired, but I'm not feeling tired. Though, something feels urgent, I need to go to someplace where my dream doesn't have it. Far away from my dream… I don't want to leave my dream… I start to run, Chitose and Toya tell me to go back. But I can't I must go…



I run to 'the urgent target' and doing some 'urgent problem'. Geez! It ruined my sweet dream. Eh? I heard foot steps. Someone's here? Who's that? It's already 3 a.m. Impossible, Chitose mustn't wake up yet. Breakfast still long. It couldn't be Toya either. He's a lazy bump. Nah, perhaps he can't sleep. He's thinking too much, 'how could that Atsuma found it?' Hehe... feels Atsuma's wrath! Gotta sleep again.


Huh? What's he doing? It sounds like he open a door. Should I call him? Ah, just to make sure that's him.

"Toya? Is that you?"

No one's answering. Could it be… GHOST! Wait. Tsk! How many times he must pretend to be a ghost? First, cried in his room, I thought it to be Yukki-onna.and now this! Unforgivable! I'm not scared! I'll make you scared instead!

I'll go search him. Quiet and silent. So spooky. In the dark, I search that annoying boy. Just moon's light shines through the window is my guidance, it escorts my every step. Suddenly, I startled, because I hear another footsteps and it sounded walk away from me. It should be Toya. He knows it's me. But, I still will follow you.

Not a minute, I walk around and see something so shiny. I realize it's a light from a room. This room… I remember it. That day, it's the first time I saw Toya and I almost took a look inside it. If it weren't because that annoying boy, I would have taken a look inside. Also said I like a thief! Now, who's the real thief? And now, it's time for payback. I'll take look inside it, freely and as much as I like. Muhahahaha! I have my eyes open wide and look inside. Nothing inside? Wait! There IS something! A door? ANOTHER locked DOOR?

Wha? What's wrong with this house? Toya has a secret, even a room, too, has a secret. This ain't funny. I'll open it. Now! I mean it. I'll go inside and open it and look what's inside.

I step inside and before my next step, someone's call my name, "Atsuma!"

I'm startled again. How embarrassed! I must pretend to be cool. But, that's not Toya's voice. It should be… C-Chitose! I can't smile, my sweat run fast. I don't know what to say.

"What are you doing?" her face looks scary. It's the first time; I'm afraid Chitose gets angry.

"N-nothing…" Better say something so that Chitose not suspicious to me. Although my face seems not convince enough.

"Good. Now go back to your room." Her voice's toneless. Like robot.

She closes the door and locked it. So mysterious. I go back to my room and think a lot. Why… Chitose seemed to hide something from me, no, from us. Is that about that room? Is Chitose's secret is inside? Man, even Chitose has secret too! Looks like, just me that don't have any secrets. Of course, I'm an honest boy. Fuh, I can't sleep anymore. I have many thinking. I need to forget it. Must forget about that room and need some more rest. Breakfast still long. I… must… forget… it…

I don't know that I'm such a lazy bump too. I fall asleep and fortunately, I'm not dreaming about that room.