A/N: So, um...I don't really have anything to say because I know you all hate me anyway. Basically, I just got lost on this story and couldn't find a way to end it, and I kept telling myself I'd do it later and then BAM! I'm in college, so...I was going through some old stuff and I was on break this week and thought it was truly horrendous of me to have never finished this. So, I wrote an ending. It may not be great, it may not be what you're expecting. None of you may even read it because you all hate me now, but here it is nonetheless.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
It was finally here; the day of the surgery. And I was absolutely terrified.
"It will be alright, Bella. Just relax. You'll be out the entire time and you won't feel a thing."
Leave it to Jasper to know exactly what I was feeling. I swear, sometimes I think that guy has a knack for reading people. And then I feel like an idiot for thinking of the term 'reading people.'
"I know, I know. I just can't help but feel nervous, you know?" I supplied weakly. I gave him a small smile and looked to Alice beside him. She gave me a knowing look, and my smile became a bit stronger, but only a bit. My hospital room was full of everyone I loved, waiting there with me before I was wheeled in to be butchered. Okay, I wasn't going to be butchered. Maybe this was why I was freaking out.
"Bella, everything will be fine. I promise."
I looked over at the voice and saw Edward. He had a reassuring smile on his face, but I could see the worry hidden in his eyes as well. We both knew this surgery was dangerous. There was only a sixty percent success rate. While those odds were fairly good for some, for me, danger-magnet extraordinaire, it might as well be a death sentence. At least, that's how I saw it. Still, I had to take the chance. Without it, I was dead anyway, right?
"They know what they're doing here, sweetheart," my Dad said softly. I could see he was on the verge of tears, so this did nothing to assuage my fears.
"Yeah, it'll all be good. Plus, think of all the drugs they'll have you on afterward. It'll be hilarious - Ouch! Rose, that hurt!"
I laughed as Emmett rubbed his side, which Rosalie had just rather forcefully stuck her elbow. My smile faded as Dr. Hale walked into the room.
"Bella, it's time."
My heart dropped into my stomach at those three words. My head turned swiftly back to Edward, and in my panic I grabbed his hand.
"You'll be here when I wake up, won't you?"
"Are you kidding? Rabid wolves couldn't keep me away," he spoke, trying to keep his tone light, but I could hear the same panic that was in mine. He leaned down to give me what I expected to be a chaste peck, but instead he fisted his hand in my hair and kissed me roughly. Understanding his reasoning, I poured all the passion I could muster into that one kiss. When we finally broke apart, he rested his forehead against mine.
"I love you," I whispered, unable to keep a single tear from falling.
"I love you, too. So much," he answered, his tone just as soft. He quickly caught the tear as it made its way down my cheek, and then gave me another kiss, this one soft and brief. He straightened suddenly, and I immediately missed the contact. He put on the fake smile as a nurse came in to take me away. As his hand slipped out of mine, I hoped it wouldn't be the last time I was able to hold it.
Blackness again. I hate this blackness.
I was hoping you wouldn't be here again.
Well, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not exactly thrilled to see you either. Hold on, am I actually dead this time?
No, and you're not in a coma either. You're just very heavily sedated.
So basically, whenever I'm unconscious for long enough periods of time, I start talking to myself. Yep, I'm totally not crazy.
I thought we established last time that you weren't.
Nope, that was you. I still think I'm probably mad as a hatter.
Dear Lord, I would have hoped since I was your subconscious you would have a little more sense.
So, do you do the decorating around here? Because I have to tell you, it's pretty horrendous. You should definitely invest in some color. Or some lighting, if that's the problem.
I'm beginning to think there's no hope for you. Aren't you even the least bit curious as to what is happening to your body right now? You know, the one that is having brain surgery performed upon it?
Yeah, I'm kind of trying to think of anything but that, but thanks a lot for bringing it up. Killjoy.
Don't blame me for being logical.
Well, since you brought it up, what is going on?
Oh, I have no idea. I was just wondering if you were curious about it.
You truly are infuriating.
I heard the sweet velvet voice and tried to answer it.
"Bella, love, can you hear me?"
Yes, I can, but my mouth isn't working and my throat is parched. I settled for slowly opening my eyes. It was bright at first, too bright. My eyes immediately closed again.
"Sorry, I'll close the blinds.
Footsteps, then a rustling noise somewhere to the left. I tried opening my eyes again. It was still bright, but less so now. My vision was blurred at first, but as everything came into focus, the first thing my eyes landed on was him.
His face was similar to the last time I was here; haggard and with dark circles under his eyes. But there was a radiant smile stretching across his lips like none I had ever seen before.
"Hey, you," i said, my voice scratchy and rough from being unused. He quickly reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a glass of water, helping me drink it.
"Thank you," I whispered gratefully. "How long have I been out?"
"About three days. You've been in and out, but this is the first time you've really been lucid. They said it's to be expected after a surgery like this."
He spoke methodically, as if the lines had been rehearsed. She wondered how many times he had said them. Suddenly, it hit her. She was here. She had survived the surgery. She didn't die. The only question was...
"Did it work?"
If she thought his smile before was radiant, this one shone with the force of the sun. He reached for her hands and held them both tightly in his.
"It did. They removed it completely. You're going to be just fine. Bella, it's over."
I felt the relief wash over me in waves as tears began to stream down my face. Years worth of worrying, years worth of thinking I was going to die, years worth of planning for my death, and it was finally over. I was going to live.
"Well, then," I managed to say between my tears. "I hope you still want to marry me, because it looks like you're stuck with me for the rest of your life."
He froze, his eyes widening and his breath stopping before his smile returned full force.
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
Then he lunged onto the bed and attacked my lips, careful to avoid my stitches, of course.
A/N: So, there it was. But, because I was exceptionally horrible, I wrote a little bonus something for you. It's just a bit of fluff between Edward and Bella, kinda racy but things stay rated T, people. Anyway, I hope you like it.
"Edward, I already told you. I want to wait until we finish college. I just think it would be a better idea for us both."
"Why? I already know that I love you. That's not going to change in the next four years, if that's what you're thinking. Look, if you're worried that I'll change my mind or something-"
"I'm not," I laughed.
Five months after my surgery I had finally learned to trust Edward's feelings for me. We were going to be leaving for college soon and I was adamant about holding off on a wedding. I had accepted his proposal immediately; of course I wanted to marry him. However, I wasn't ready to get married just yet. I was only eighteen for crying out loud.
"Then what is it?" he whined from where he was lying on my bed.
"Edward, listen. People don't get married at eighteen anymore. I love you, and I know that I'll want you forever, but I still think we should wait
"Seriously? That's the problem? You know I don't care what other people think abo-"
"It's not about other people, Edward. It's about me. I'm not ready for a wedding or marriage yet. I just got over cancer. Let me be a normal person for just a little while. Please," I ended in a whisper. I didn't want to hurt him, but I desperately wanted to make him see why this was so important.
He sat up suddenly and stared at me, and intense, unreadable look on his face. Finally, after what must have been five minutes of silence, he spoke.
"Okay. If that's what you want, then okay. We'll wait."
I raised an eyebrow at this. "Really? Just like that?"
He gave a short laugh. "Of course. You're completely right, Bella. You've been through a lot lately, and it would be selfish of me to try to force something that big on you so soon. I know you love me, but I also understand if you're not ready for that step yet. We will, one day. Just not yet."
I looked at him in awe before leaping forward and effectively tackling him to my bed. He let out an amused laugh before my lips cut him off. The kiss started out playful and light. However, it soon grew into something much more intense as I began to kiss him forcefully. His hand tangled into my hair, and he ran his tongue along my lower lip. I gasped at the sensation, and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside my mouth, and I moaned softly at the contact. This only seemed to arouse him further as he grabbed my hip roughly and pushed my body down against his. I moaned loudly this time.
I nipped his lip softly, earning a deep groan that made me shudder all the way through, and pulled away to kiss down his jaw and neck. As I made my way down, I heard him whisper my name repeatedly, like a prayer, and a power I've never felt before came over me. With a boldness I had only ever dreamed of possessing, I bit down sharply at his pulse point. I felt him freeze up beneath me, and I lost all the courage I had. I was just preparing to pull away and apologize, thinking I had gone too far, when I was flipped over rather frantically and he attacked my neck with a furious passion.
"Edward," I breathed out, and he leaned up swiftly. I almost cried out at the loss, but then I noticed he was pulling his shirt over his head, and all thought left my head. I should have been thinking about a lot of things in that moment. I should have been thinking about the possible implications of this. I should have been thinking about how this was probably not the best time. But all I could think about was Edward's perfectly sculpted chest in front of me.
I leaned forward and laid my lips to his bare torso, and he let out another deep groan. As I bit down, the groan turned into a growl. He pushed me back down onto the bed and covered my mouth with his. As I ran my hands up and down his chest, feeling every inch I could reach, I noticed his own hands slowly moving under the front of my shirt. They grasped the hem and started to pull up as he continued to kiss me. This would be the time to stop, but dear lord, his mouth was doing wonderful things right now. My shirt was reaching the underside of my breasts now and-
"Hey guys, Alice said you need to hurry-HOLY HELL! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?"
As I heard the door slam with great force, I flushed what I'm sure was a bright cherry red and buried my face in Edward's chest. I expected him to start chuckling any minute now, laughing about us scarring poor Emmett again, but instead I just felt the rapid rise and fall of his chest against my cheek. When he made no attempt to move, I finally looked up at him. His eyes were shut tightly and his jaw was clenched as if he was in pain.
"Edward?" I ventured cautiously. His eyes popped open at my voice and zeroed in on me, the tension leaving his face immediately.
I felt my brows furrow together. "Why are you sorry? It's not your fault Emmett doesn't knock before entering a room," I joked lightly, trying to ease the sudden awkwardness that hung in the air.
"Not about Emmett," he replied, his voice and eyes solemn.
"Then what...Oh. You didn't - that's okay, I mean - I'm sorry. I'll just-"
I tried to remove myself from underneath him as I said this, but he just held me still and gave a short, exasperated laugh.
"No, you silly girl. I wanted to. Believe me, I still do. But I didn't mean to lose control like that."
My face flushed again at his words and I turned my head away. However, before I could move far, he had my chin between his fingers and was turning it back.
"Hey, look at me." I unwillingly obliged. "I would never want to do anything to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable. This is something we haven't even talked about before, and I would never want to take that step without knowing if you were ready. So, I'm sorry for losing control of myself and not taking you into consideration."
I didn't know what to say. Part of me wanted to cry. I settled for laughing. Edward settled for looking shocked.
"Are...are you laughing at me?" he asked, a hint of both anger and amusement in his tone.
"Yes, I most definitely am," I responded. I saw a look of annoyance pass his face, and I only laughed harder.
After a moment, I calmed down enough to answer. "Oh, Edward. Do you ever stop to think about yourself?"
"What?" he inquired, thoroughly confused.
"Did it ever occur to you that you're not the only one who lost control? That it takes two to tango? That I had it in my power to stop you if I wanted? I agree this is something we should talk about first. However, you shouldn't apologize for something we both had a hand in."
He stared at me, flabbergasted, as I sat up on the bed and straightened out my clothes. I knew full well that Alice would be up soon if we didn't hurry. She probably only held off this long because Emmett said something. I found his shirt and deftly tossed it to him before continuing.
"Now, as for us talking about it, I have to say that I don't think I'm ready. That doesn't mean I don't want to, but that's another thing I think we should hold off on for just a bit. I hope you can understand that-"
"No, I understand completely," he cut me off before taking my hands in his, his chest now fully clothed. Suddenly, a wry grin spread across his lips. "You know, I kind of like it when you take control like this."
I flushed once again before swatting his hands away. "Yes, well, Alice will be waiting. The longer we stay up here the worse it will be."
"Welcome to the family, love," he laughed as we opened the door.