AN: The first in a collection of drabbles that are not only random, chances are they make no sense.


Chase Young was perfectly at peace with being evil. He liked sitting in his castle, in the Middle of Nowhere, ignoring the rest of theworld, and doing viciously evil things to people who happened to either annoy him, challenge him, or stumbled across his Palace.

He was perfectly okay with ignoring the world and meditating in the mountain he happened to live in. He had a routine. A routine that included mediating, and fighting, and mediating, and killing people, and mediating, and practicing his martial arts, and mediating, and eating dragons, and mediating, and drowning puppies, and most of all mediating.

He didn't know exactly when they began to interrupt his routine, but he remembered it.

He was mediating at the time, when he heard the loud knock the echo through palace. His eyes snapped open in annoyance, but he waved his hand, indicting that the door should be opened.

It was an action that he regretted doing every single day for the rest of his life.

The grand doors open and in stepped a thin, lanky looking man. He was dressed in a tie and a business suit and carried a bunch of formal looking papers. "Hello." He began in a rather boisterous voice, "My name is Carl Furgson, and I here to tell you about Laundry's Washing Machines. There a lovely brand of machines that will help you-"

"Sic him." Chase deadpanned, before watching Carl be torn apart by several types of big cats. Carl did, after all, intruded on his all important mediation to sell him washing machines.

It, however, didn't stop with Carl. No, after Carl, more came. How they found him in the Middle of Nowhere was beyond Chase, but find him they did.

They came armed with magazines and books filled with coupon for places that didn't exist or weren't relatively near him. They came for Church Fundraiser and School Drives. They came selling everything from manure to the shirt on there backs. They ignored the "No Solicitors" signs and dodged the many traps Chase's minions set.

And no matter how many times Chase murdered them, or how many times he told them to 'Go away before he ripped them open, took out their hearts and sent it to there families', or how many times Chase even didn't open the door, they kept on coming.

But the worse of them all; were the Girl Scouts.

They was just no stopping them, and they would cry when you didn't by anything, (not that Chase cared if a little girl was crying. Pssh, as if. No, it just… interrupted his err, mediating. Yeah, that it. There sobs disturbed his mediating). One even had the audacity to (attempt) to kick Chase Young in the legs.

Once, Chase had bought a box of the infernal cookies, just to shut them up. Then, bang, he was hooked. He couldn't help it. He loved the cookies as much as he hated them. They were addicting, but to get them, he had to be visited by little demons called Girl Scouts.

To make it all worse, one of his minion had to go install a phone.

Chase wasn't sure who did it, but when he found out, he would kill them. No, he would torture and then killed them.

People kept calling him. Interrupting his mediation to talk about politics, and sell him crap. Honestly! They already had his house surrounded, couldn't they let him have some minor peace in his own home.

And every time he ripped the phone off the wall and smashed it into the ground, stomping on it for all that its worth. Somebody would go and replace it with a new one.

That somebody was going to die, very soon. A slow, slow, painful death.

As it was, the world, seem to be ganging up on him. He couldn't get in an hour's worth of mediation, let alone anything else in his routine. So that when Chase Young decided, he was going to destroy the world. The world was obviously screwing him over, so it was Chase's turn to screw the world over.

And so he started planning.

In between the feverish interruption of his ever-persistent evil solicitors.