This is a follow up to my story "Why do you hate him?". For those who haven't or don't want to read that story, the summary is easy, Xander always crashes and burns at love because Angel has manipulated the people around Xander so he is always alone. He does this in hopes that Xander will finally turn to him, and Dawn figures this out. Anyway, this is a dark fic so be prepared. As always I do not own anything related to Buffy, that is the property of Joss and the parasitic suits that live off of his creativity. Criticism is appreciated, but please no pointless flames or rants, they make my two brain cells hurt. Thank you for reading and enjoy.
THE TRUTH OF HER EXISTENCE
Xander was dead and that was the truth of Dawn's existence. She'd been there for three months, ever since she had finished her watcher's training. She'd spent that time re-introducing Xander to the humanity he seemed to have left back in the crater that had been Sunnydale; but now he was gone. She could remember their slayers bringing his body back to their lonely compound in Kenya, all of them crying unashamedly and Dawn wailing in her grief and denial and loss. It had been a single shot to the heart, those who truly knew Xander would say that it was poetic. The authorities said it was a random killing, like so many in Africa. That night the slayers went looking for vengeance, but all they found were demons who were ignorant of what had happened; unfortunately for these demons, the slayers used them to vent their rage. Later that night they were gathered around the table when Kewithe had muttered "maybe the man had something to do with it".
"What man" Dawn had asked.
"He was a stranger, dark and handsome; he came here that day you were in Nairobi."
"Could you tell if he was evil; or part demon?"
"No" Kewithe had answered "he was human, but he and Xander argued and the man left in a hurry and Xander was very agitated for the rest of the day."
Dawn remembered Xander acting a little off that day, but she had put it out of her mind. Now, as she sat a vigil over his body she knew who it had been, and she knew what had happened. She remembered a conversation many years ago in Los Angeles and a word that she'd heard from her sister 'sanshu'. Dawn knew what had happened, knew it as surely as if she'd witnessed the whole thing. Angel had gotten his sanshu and was now human. Idly she wondered if he had actually earned it, or if the Powers were simply removing a loose cannon from the board. As a human he was free to love and so he had come to the one person he'd never admitted to loving. Dawn could see Xander's reaction, anger, disgust, pity; she could see the realization in Angel's eyes and the knowledge that Xander would never be his. Three days later Xander was dead, no doubt at Angel's behest. Dawn knew what she had to do and her hand slipped into her pocket and came out with an object; a souvenir from her days as a thief, one of the few she hadn't returned. Carefully she examined the medallion and then quietly she began to chant.
"Who dares summon D'Hoffryn" the demon's voice boomed out "know that I shall…..oh, hello there, I didn't expect it to be you" he said as he caught sight of Dawn. Then he became aware of the body in the room and he stooped to examine it "yes, I'd been told that some had seen him, I figured it was true after I couldn't find Anyanka's spirit anywhere. I must say I was expecting a call but not from you."
"The others don't know, at least not yet."
"Ahhh, but you, you know the who's and why's and you want to do something about it, I can feel it seething in your brain."
"But why summon me; I would expect you to have a visitor rather soon."
"Maybe, but I wish to call vengeance on a champion of the Power's, and I want nothing to thwart my desire in this matter; they have no power over you in this area but might over some of your minions."
"A champion" D'Hoffryn said then he brightened in understanding "so Liam is responsible for this ehhh, I must confess I'm amazed he finally committed to something." Then the demon lord turned his gaze on the young woman "so what is your wish?"
"I wish that Angel would suffer as he made Xander suffer, I wish that he might almost taste love only to have it taken away time and time again. I wish that any affection would turn to affliction, and all caring to pain. I want no one other than Angel to hurt, none that he love can be killed only lost to him and I want him to live his full life, no suicide will be successful, no untimely end for him, I want him to live a lifetime in anguish" Dawn finished, her the sound of her voice now harsh and rasping.
D'Hoffryn smiled, it was a terrible smile "now that was a wish and a half, do you mind if I use it as an example for others?"
"No" Dawn mumbled "feel free". She felt hollow now, all the passion had left her body and she felt numb and cold.
"Thank you" D'Hoffryn said with a mocking little bow "and wish granted" he then disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Still Dawn sat there with Xander's body, she knew she might have damned her soul with that wish but she couldn't find it in herself to care, after all she'd already lost her heart.
Buffy snuggled into her lover's side, his warm human side. It still amazed her that Angel was now human, no stupid happiness clause, no specter of Angelus, nothing to get in the way of their happiness. As she lay there, running her hands lightly over his body, a thought just popped into her head "Angel"
"Why did you bring Xander with you when you came to the Master's cave?"
"I told you, because I couldn't do CPR."
"But how did you know I'd need it, I mean who drowns in a cave after all?"