katie don't cry i know,
you're tryin' your hardest
and the hardest part is letting go

Naruto fights because the only way to reach some people is with skin.
Kakashi reads and shows up late because he lost the chance to be on time a long time ago.
(And his friends on a stone can't hear his excuses. )
Sai smiles because that is what human beings do,
but he still cannot feel the way his skin stretches taut across his skin,
still doesn't feel the warm flood in his chest that he senses that Naruto gets when he looks at Sakura.
Everyone does things that only they can do.

..And so should she.

-
if only i could save your heart..

everyone's at war with something
i battle my own heart sometimes
;

"Haruno, we're losing him."

She turns sharply on her side, the rain is pouring and it makes the chakra flow thicker than water.
It glows bright but it doesn't burn enough to go through this man's steadily drying veins. She turns sharply, because even
though she knows these voices,( has been with them since their younger days where she still tagged behind)
they don't matter, and for now their names don't matter because right now all she cares about is saving this name.

He could have a family, her mind says feverishly, going over every process, every step. Every little secret code Shishou ever taught her.
His skin is going chalky white, and even though the Anbu around her start to hiss, start to say , "There are still others that can be saved, Haruno."
She isn't thinking about that, no, she isn't thinking about that at all, she is thinking about a boy with cold, angry eyes and dark hair and thank-you's.

And she wonders how on earth he would be thanking her, this little boy in her head, for letting him slip right through her fingers?

Your hands are life, your touch is life, she muses, as she pumps a little more life, a little more heart into this unknown name. This moment. She imagines she hears a gasp, a sputter of life. The middle-aged face suddenly becomes a pale, young, beautiful face with dark eyes and a cynical smile, a smile that as she continues to work in the rain, ( all in the pouring rain ) softens into a sincere expression of gratitude. And her hands are no longer stained with blood, no, not even dirt or mud. They are stained with rose-petals and flowers bearing her namesake and most importantly they are stained with light.

There is so much of it that the boy would never be able to look away, she thinks to herself, and her chest throbs. But all too suddenly the shouts call her back to reality under the pouring rain and the boy's face returns to blood-smeared filth and middle-aged reality as she licks her lips and ignores the shouts of "Let go, Let go".

If my heart was strong enough I could pump life into this man. But that inner voice that never fails her whispers, but could you pump it into that boy-oh wait he is no longer a boy. And he isn't whole enough to be a man.
And as they plead with her to save the next patient, a younger man with a more prosperous chance at success, Sakura snarls, grits her teeth, wipes a strand of pink out of her face and says, "Shut up, Shut up. Shut up." And she doesn't know if she's talking to them or that voice. Somewhere inside she grasps the name of this boy, and as she chants, "Come on, come on, come on.." To this unknown name stuttering beneath her hands and glow, somewhere beneath this man's body there is a corpse of another, a body in blue and white, with dark hair and eyes wide open, still angry and hurting.

This hate is a disease that is killing him, she muses as she harnesses her chakra to close up what she can of this wound, all the while remembering the operations she tried to perform on the boy beneath this man. The wound was so big and vast, she wondered if it could ever be filled.

She's so close, ( come here please, we can make it out together, just you and i. I'll take care of you and I will never let you sleep alone, and you are a part of me and that will be enough to cover both our ends. So please, please, come with me, please..the disease is eating you whole and there won't be you anymore, no, you'll be dead so please-)

Please, Sasuke.

There is a flicker of life, and this stranger coughs, chokes, and everyone is silent, staring at this whirlwind of a medic who they knew was strong but ( who could have known she'd be so stubborn and right? ) stand up, dust herself off, jerk her finger at them while her body is dissolving in the pouring rain who says,
"I am never letting anyone go. Ever. I am never giving up, ever. And I am not leaving without closing the pain up. Ever-"

And as they run off to give her the next body, Sakura shudders against the cold, damp earth, the wet, empty sky, and whispers something, thankful that the rain covers up everything. Even her failure.

"Again."

Naruto fights, Kakashi shows up late, Sai smiles.
And Sakura saves every single life because she couldn't save the one life she wanted to save.

..

..

..

..

i'm feeling iffy about my writing lately.
i'd love some reviews. i'd love to know
how i'm doing.

please send me a request and a prompt.
only then will i find time to update with some
inspiration.