Useless Notes: Everything's already been said in the summary, so there's really not much to add.
Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing. Well, maybe except for Yukihimura Kaego. I made him up.
Enough with the commercials; our feature presentation is about to start.
Sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
This Morning, as told by the Rooster
Tonight was a night like any other: the stars were out, the moon was out and two people were out walking on the street. One guy and one girl. Tori-atama and kitsune. Sanosuke and Megumi.
Now, if you're thinking that they were out on a love-walk just to enjoy the other's company, then you're wrong. Because: 1) These two DON'T go out on love-walks just to enjoy the other's company. It's just illegal. And 2) This isn't a pleasure trip. Sano's accompanying her home from the dojo, just like what he does on most nights. Well anyway, back to the story.
So there they were, walking together under the starry night sky. Everything else would have been normal, but this time around, Sano was being very quiet. Megumi intended to find out why.
"Hmph. Someone's being quiet tonight," she huffed.
"Yea," he replied.
"I wonder why," she persisted.
"You don't wanna know," he grunted, his reply being the longest sentence he said all night.
"Did something happen today, tori-atama?" she eyed him suspiciously.
"Nothing that'd concern you," he turned his head toward the opposite direction.
"You're being evasive," she noticed, "Which means that something did happen today."
"Is it something that involves yours truly?" she smirked, fox ears popping out of her head.
Still, her companion remained silent.
It was like this for a few minutes until…
"There was this guy who showed up a bit before lunchtime…"
Megumi kept walking with him in silence, allowing him to continue his story.
"Said his name was Yukimura or something like that and that he was lookin' for you."
It was past eleven in the morning and Sano was just about to have lunch when—
Sano gave a low grunt and stood up from his place and walked (quite angrily) to the door. He was surprised that no one else answered the door first.
'Kenshin's probably doing the laundry and Jou-chan and the brat're maybe still training,' he thought with a frown, 'Geez, why do I gotta do all the work around here, I don't even live here!'
(All the more reason why you should do some of the work around here, ya mooch)
"Okay, what the hell do ya want?" he asked roughly and pushed the door aside, hoping to intimidate whoever dared to interrupt his lunch.
Unfortunately, he didn't succeed in doing so.
"Good morning, kind sir!" the stranger cheerfully greeted, "My name is Yukihimura Kaego and I'm looking for Ms. Takani Megumi. Do you know where I might locate her?"
That was when Sano noticed the flowers.
"I'M GOING TO MARRY HER!"
"So let me get this straight… he wanted to kidnap me?"
"Yea, I know. I couldn't believe it either."
"If he was going to kidnap me, then why did he ask for directions?"
"Beats me. Must've been new in town, I guess."
"So what happened next?"
"Why would you want to marry her?"
"Why? WHY?!" Yukihimura exclaimed, "Have you not seen her, kind sir? She's beautiful,
smart, kind and everything else! She's the ultimate wife for anyone! The ultimate wife for me!"
"You are blind, kind sir, BLIND! How could you not see her as I do?!"
"Actually, I do."
"And then, he starts callin' ya crap names and other things I won't even bother mentioning, but I told him right then and there that you ain't any of those crap names he just called you."
"Why, thank you Sano."
He grinned at this. "Don't sweat it kitsune. Hell, if even Makoto Shishio'd say some such stuff like that, I woulda done the same- an' maybe throw in a punch or two."
"So you didn't even hit the guy?" Megumi asked, genuinely surprised that the rooster-head talked to the guy first before beating him to a pulp.
"Well not at first. I was gettin' real interested in our conversation anyway…"
"I'm with ya there, man. That kitsune doctor really is like that."
"Did I not tell you, kind sir? Now you really see why I want to marry her so badly."
"How'd you find out about her anyway?"
"Her name as a doctor spreads far to even the provinces. That's how famous she is. I come from Aizu- her hometown- as well. So you see that we really were meant to be."
"Turns out this guy's a stalker too, 'cos he actually knew where you lived an' everything… and then I find out why he wanted to kidnap you in the first place."
He paused for dramatic effect.
"Ya see, this asshole wanted ta marry you."
And then, she paused for dramatic effect.
"If he wanted to marry me, then why did he call me all those bad names?"
He paused, but it was not for dramatic effect.
"Same thing I asked 'im," he finally said, "All he said to me was 'Hey, the more you hate, the more you love, right?'"
"Oh is that it?"
"Damn right it was," he nodded, "'An then he asked me again where he could find you."
"And I'm guessing you didn't tell him."
"Naturally," he scoffed, "There was something else too."
"So, do you know where I might find her, kind sir?"
"Damn right I do, but why should I tell you?"
"But didn't I just say—"
"Yea, yea I heard you. You don't have to repeat yourself."
"'Fraid she already belongs to someone else, bud."
"But that…that can't be- from what I heard I-"
"Well looks to me like you heard wrong. Sorry."
"But that's impossible; please tell me she's still single!"
"Listen punk, the sun's way up and I'm a hungry man so-"
"At least tell me the man's name- tell me who she's with! I swear I'll kill him and make sure he stays that way so we can be together!"
Sano sighed and rubbed his stomach lazily. Boy, was it getting hot and was he getting hungry; won't this guy give it a rest?
"Zanza. The man's name is Zanza. 'An I don't think you'll be able to do all that crap you just said, 'cos from what I heard, this Zanza guy's tough. You won't even last two seconds with him."
"I don't care! I'LL KILL HIM! I swear I will!"
"You're more than welcome to try, but just for starters, here's how Zanza usually attacks; only his are definitely more powerful than this," he punched Yukihimura out cold.
He smirked at his handiwork before going inside. As he was about to close the door, he threw one last glance at the man and:
"Geez, you're the first guy I know who got so fired up over that kitsune doctor."
(Har har look who's talking)
And with that, Sano closed the door, leaving Yukihimura and his flowers sprawled on the sidewalk.
"'An I told him that he could go to hell, 'cos if he ever ran off with ya, two demons'd be hot on his ass an' he'll forever regret doin' that to ya."
"And then you hit him."
"'An then I hit 'im."
The two continued to walk together in silence, each with different reactions about Sano's story. Megumi was thinking really deeply, while Sano was looking really proud of himself.
"Well, tori-atama, that was such a nice story, considering it was different compared to
Sano almost swallowed his fishbone in surprise and almost stopped dead in his tracks, causing Megumi to almost run into his back.
"Aa, I'm afraid he was there with Kaoru and Yahiko too. They were right behind you the whole time… you didn't notice?"
The giant merely shook his head slowly in a very confused manner.
"I have to say, yours was definitely the most original compared to what they told me."
He lowered his head and blushed furiously, suddenly interested in the ground and how ants bring their food down there.
"But thank you anyway. I found it most entertaining," she chuckled.
"Some'd call it embarrassing," he muttered.
"I'd prefer the word flattering in this scenario," she looked at the sky, "Amusing even, but it flattered me more than it amused me. Thanks again, tori-atama."
"For makin' you laugh? Or maybe for showin' ya how stupid I really am?"
"Iie," she shook her head, her smile still on her face, "For showing me how much you really care, whether you were lying or not."
"Aa," was all he said. And from that moment on, the pair walked in silence.
A few minutes later, they reached Megumi's house. Just as Sano was about to leave…
"Oh, and by the way," she said, turning to face her door, "I do belong to someone, but it's not Zanza."
"Yea?" Sano asked, eyebrow raised.
"Sagara. The man's name is Sagara Sanosuke. And from what I've heard, the man's pretty tough himself."
Sano smirked. "If ever you get any death threats or some asshole followin' you around, you tell me an' I'll kick the shit outta him, ya hear?"
"You'll be the first to know," she smiled before closing the door. "Goodnight tori-atama."
And with that, the ex-gangster turned to leave, a smile plastered on his face. He softly hummed a tune to himself as he strolled towards the moonlight.
A/N: Okay, just lemme get this bit straight: Italicized characters are what REALLY happened (flashbacks), normal characters tell the present story (and Sano's messed-up lies) and those written in (parentheses) is just me butting in. Heh.
Reviews would be most appreciated. Thanks.