A little oneshot I came up with on a really long car drive!
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Twilight apart from the books. But even then, Stephenie Meyer owns the rights to them!
Months had passed since he left. He being my soul mate, the reason of my existence. Yet, to him I was nothing more than a stupid human, a mere distraction in his eternal life. I was naive enough to give him my heart and soul yet all I got back was rejection and hurt.
My life had been crushed the day he left me in the forest. My heart shattered into a million pieces while I screamed in complete agony. Pain cursed through my veins and the suffering was completely evident on my face. There was no meaning to my existence anymore, no reason for me to still be alive. Yet, I carried on with my daily events, putting on a smile for Charlie. He was the only one that cared for me the slightest and even he was getting more and more distant by the day.
For days, I would sit on my bed staring out of my window to the green scenery of Forks. What if I never came to Forks? Where would I be if I never met Edward? Questions filled my mind, begging for nonexistent answers. My heart would throb with pain as I tried to grasp onto any memory I had left of him. The time he loathed me in Biology to the time where we revealed our secrets in our meadow. Memories of my disastrous birthday party would constantly be replayed in my head, threatening to drive me into insanity.
I needed to do something about the emotional pain I was going through. It was getting more unbearable by the day. Physical pain eventually disappears but emotional pain certainly doesn't. It builds up inside of you like a volcano, threatening to explode at any given moment.
Looking out the window, a sudden flash of inspiration hit me. Physical pain. That was exactly what I needed. It had the power to release me from this misery, end my suffering once and for all. I walked down the stairs, only tripping on the last one. Stumbling into the kitchen, I went over to the cutlery draw and pulled it open. From it, I took out a brand new shiny silver knife.
None of my supposedly 'friends' would care about me. Even Angela would get over it eventually. And him? He was probably out with another human distraction, not caring about whatever I did.
Slowly, I made my way up the wooden stairs into the bathroom. I placed the knife onto the ground and I slowly undressed myself. Next, I turned on the tap for the bathtub and placed in some strawberry soap. I watched the warm water slowly fill up the bathtub, the bubbles rising to the top. Reaching to the shelf on the other side of the room, I grabbed a basket full of red rose petals. Red, symbolizing love as well as blood. Gently, I tossed the petals into the water, watching it cover up the top of the tub. Then, I lit about 20 rose-scented candles and surrounded the bathroom with them. If I was going to die, I might as well do it well.
Carefully, I stepped into the bathtub, holding the sharp knife in my right hand. Lying down, I got myself comfortable before lifting the sharp blade onto the pale skin of my left wrist. Softly, I stroked the blade up and down my skin, leaving nothing more than a few scratch marks. The coolness of the knife provided me relief, knowledge that my pain and suffering would soon be over. My patience was dwindling and I finally summoned the courage that I needed. With trembling fingers, I lifted the knife above my soft and delicate skin. I pushed the knife down softly and drew it down my arm. That's all it took.
I looked at my arm to see a trickle of deep red blood flowing down it. A psychotic smile broke onto my face when I felt no pain. I was right. Physical pain did covered up any emotional torture that I suffered from. With a newfound desire, I lifted up the knife once more and started drawing crosses up my arm. Looking down, I found my arm covered in blood. I laughed crazily for the last time before I dropped the knife into the water. Blood was pouring into the bathtub, tinting the water red.
I knew that the time had come. The rusty smell of blood overtook my senses as I slowly began to feel fainter and fainter. This was it. Knowing that in a matter of seconds my agony would finally be over once and for all, I whispered my final words before drowning in my own blood.
"I love you Edward."
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