Disclaimer: Inuyasha is the property of Rumilo Takahashi and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai is the property of Karan Johar. I own this computer…that's about it.
Inuyasha stood alone after everyone else had gone, the dancing flames warming his body against the chilled night air. It was a mockery. Warmth…from her funeral pyre.
Feeling his chest tighten in pain, he closed his eyes remembering her words "Promise me you won't cry…" He hadn't broken a promise to her in four years; he couldn't start now.
Four years out of a lifetime. As a lover, a friend, a wife…a mother.
Why didn't you tell me?
Since the day they were married three years ago, he'd only grown to love her more with each passing hour. Beautiful, kind, smart, courageous…loving…she was everything he'd even wanted. Yet she was a mystery, even now. Quiet and observant, she would sometimes leave him to a place in her mind he couldn't visit. Calling her back, a warm smile and a soft touch heralded her return, but she never revealed what preoccupied her in those moments. He didn't mind, he thought he had their entire lives to solve the puzzle that was Kikyo.
He'd been such a fool.
The day she told him she was pregnant was the most wonderful day of his life. From the depths of his soul, he wanted this child and she knew it. Her happy, tired smile spoke volumes. Their days were filled with excitement and planning. Their evenings filled with caresses and declarations of love. As she came closer to the due date, all she could do was sleep. He'd thought it was normal, how could he have known?
"There have been complications, Mr. Tashio…Kikyo was aware that this would happen…all precautions were taken…did the best we could…internal bleeding…not much time left"
Looking down at the face of his still unnamed newborn daughter, he prayed he'd misheard or misunderstood…something. How could he be given such a treasure just to have another taken away? He gave the baby to his mother and sank into the chair he'd been in most of the night, blocking the doctor out. It may have been moments, it could have been hours but he realized he needed to see her, talk to her…hold her. Rushing to her room, he stopped outside the door when he heard his mother's voice within.
"She looks just like her father…" His heart cracked a little at the sound of her smooth voice, filled with all the love and all the pain in the world. "I want her to know who I am, to know me. I want her to know how sorry I am that I can't see her grow…how happy I am that she is here. I want to tell her that it was worth it…that I love her more than my life." Her voice broke and he could hear the small sob she held back. "I want her to know all the beauty that I have, all of the love. I wrote these…"
"What are they?" Izayoi sniffled, crying freely.
"Letters. To our daughter. Everything I want her to know about me…everything I want to tell her myself. One for each birthday until she's eight. Will you do this for me?"
"They're my legacy to her…all that I can give…" Inuyasha stood in the doorway as Kikyo traced her minute features with a delicate finger, tears rolling down her cheeks and settling in the baby blanket they'd purchased months ago. Pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to her forehead she squeezed her eyes shut and whispered her love once more before handing her to a sobbing Izayoi. Wiping her face, she turned to Inuyasha and motioned for him to sit beside her. He obeyed automatically, perching himself on the side of the hospital bed. Focusing on a rudely cheerful bouquet of flowers, he could hear her sniffing behind him; feel her eyes on his back. But he couldn't look at her. That would make it real.
"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was cracking.
"Don't be angry…I didn't want you to worry…" Her slender hand rested on his arm and he silently began to cry. "Inuyasha…"
He didn't want to look, didn't want to see her like this…
"Inuyasha," she repeated tugging at him slightly "Don't you want to be my friend?" she asked through her tears, a playful call back to when they first met. He finally turned to see her watery smile and it hit him like a ton of bricks. His wife…Kikyo…was dying and there was nothing he could do about it. She reached up and wiped his cheeks with one hand, holding tight to him with the other. "No crying…she needs you to be strong…promise me that." He tried to say yes but the tears were clogging his throat. She nodded anyway and gave another wan smile. "It doesn't suit you anyway, to make such a face." He stroked her cheek as he bit back his sobs. "I need you to promise one more thing…" Her gray eyes were bottomless and glittering. "It's important…" But her skin was so pale…
"I want you to name our daughter Kagome."
Startled gold eyes met hers and looked away. She gently guided his face back to her. "Swear to me Inuyasha…you have to…" Huge tears were welling in her eyes, falling as fast as she made them. He looked away again. "Please." He nodded once and she did as well before they gazed at each other again. Her eyes took on the far away look again, but for once he wasn't left behind. It was memory. He still didn't understand. "I'm so sorry…" she sobbed, shaking now as she held his hand in both of hers, "I'm so sorry for everything…"
"Don't leave me…" It was a quiet, desperate plea that stuck them both to their souls. Climbing into the bed with her, careful not to disturb anything, he held her tight as she cried. "I love you…"
"And I you." She whispered.
And then she was gone.
Opening his eyes to stare at the flames again, one tear escaped.
He was sure she'd forgive him.
A/N: I wanted very much to adapt something to Inuyasha and Co. that I truly loved. However, a lot of it didn't translate well to the page or just felt like I was forcing it in. However, this Bollywood movie idea just kept picking at me and picking at me until I had to write it. This fic is based on a great movie titled Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, which I felt had an amazing plot. While I am deviating from it quite a bit as the story goes on, the beginning & the basic idea is the same…hope you enjoy!