Saturday Night On Sci Fi
By Madripoor Rose
Disclaimer: The X Men are the property of Marvel Entertainment. The orange iguana is the property of Sci Fi Channel.
The only illumination in the Teacher's Lounge was the flickering television screen. Kitty tried to keep one eye on it from the doorway while finishing her conversation. "Uh-huh. Okay. We'll expect you when we see you." She hung up her cell, and hurried back to the sofa and Piotr's arms, snuggling down into his embrace and helping herself to a handful of Cheetos. "I miss anything good?"
"The blond boy with the action figures likes the girl whose grandfather owns the antique store. Also, the thieves in the museum were melted by something escaping from the sarcophagus."
"Aw. Gooey-gross fx? Darn it." She finished nibbling on the cheetos and moved to Piotr's neck.
"Katya, I thought you wanted to watch these movies. If you don't..we could retire..."
"I do. We are. This is part of the Bad Horror Movie Experience, Petey. There isn't really a plot, so you don't have to pay attention. Just watch the gooey-gross fx and neck on the couch."
"Ah. What did Scott have to say?"
"The team won't be back until late. They haven't found Logan yet, but there was another explosion so they're close. Doctor Strange says he can seal the portal forever once they're back out."
"mmhn." Piotr thought about it, and reached over to unbutton a few buttons of her blouse.
Kitty closed her eyes, and then opened them again. "Oh please. The grimmoire with the bannishing spell they need just happens to be at the antique store? No, baby, this bra unhooks in front."
Closing credits rolled. Piotr sat up and coughed. "I think perhaps I should check on the students and the perimeter."
"Taking a break is good. Could'ja bring me a soda? The next movie is Dinoslaughter Returns, it's pretty good in a completely terrible way."
"I won't be too long."
He checked the security screens. The students were behaving themselves, and there was nothing on the estate that didn't belong there. He went to the kitchen and retrieved two Coca-colas and returned. Mildly disappointed to see Katya had put her brassiere and blouse back on, and looking forward to taking them off again. He settled beside her on the couch, and stopped.
"Katya. That is an iguana. That is an orange iguana. The size of a semi-truck."
"I know!" She popped open her drink, happily. "Awful, isn't it? See, the cavemen stole one of her eggs and she's trying to get it back."
"But humans and dinosaurs did not live at the same time."
"It's a Bad Horror Movie. They don't care. Oh, did I tell you Rachel got back from the Savage Land? She called from the X-Corp office in Brazil this morning. Junior says hi."
She snuggled back into his arms and they started smooching again. "See, that's one of the fun things about bad horror movies. They're so unrealistic."