Title: Relax

Title: Bet

Pairing: DantexNero

Rating: T

Warnings: Mild shonen ai, implications of lemons, swearing, cheating bets, Nero's Devil Bringer.

Disclaimer: Me no own.

Summary: Mild DantexNero. Business is slow in Devil May Cry so a bet is made. Can Dante keep a motorbike intact for a whole day?

A/N: Taking a break from my BLEACH™ IchiHichi stories to write out this. Completed DMC4 a short while ago and well, I always go for pairings that aren't canon. Nero and Dante! Man…

Means it's hard to find many fanfics about them.

Anyway, don't expect any well constructed plot related oneshots. They shall be riddled with plot holes and the like. I'll probably get round to writing a multichaptered story later on once I've written enough oneshots concerning this pairing.



"My voice gives me super strength!"

--- Tristan, Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged Series



Nero twitched subtly, narrowed cerulean eyes glaring at a grinning Dante suspiciously. "…What are you doing?"

Dante's grin widened, calloused hands never stopping their ministrations on the younger male's shoulders. "Helping you relax." The red clad Devil shrugged, pressing his thumb against stiff muscles through the fabric of Nero's clothes. "Wouldn't do if you're stiff as a board, now would it kid?"

Dante always had an ulterior motive for doing 'nice' things. "What are you up to, Dante?" Nero growled, but leaning into the older male's touch all the same, not once stopping the circular motions of his hand cleaning Red Queen's blade.

"Can't I be nice for once for no reason?"

Nero snorted. "You always have a reason for being nice to me."

Dante hummed, pausing his massage on Nero's shoulders to prop his chin up on the younger male's left shoulder. "…Okay, so maybe there is a reason." He started slyly, one arm wrapping round the ex-Order member's waist. "But I'm not going to use you as a meat shield this time, promise."

"If you did I would've kicked your ass myself." Nero muttered, lifting Red Queen from his lap and digging its tip into the wooden floor of Dante's shop. "Clean."

"Hey, you're getting holes in my floor!" Dante protested, his free hand tapping against Nero's demonic arm warningly.

"Well I guess they'll go with the bullet holes in your walls then." Nero retorted, carefully leaning Red Queen on the edge of the couch and uncrossing his legs. He winced when his knees cracked, absently rubbing his legs with his human hand. "This place is boring."

"Jobs have been getting less lately." Dante agreed, trailing gloved fingers over the ridges on Nero's Devil Bringer. The faint blue light flared slightly at the careful caresses, a contented warmth seeping from the tough demonic armour. "Which is a shame, 'cause I really want new Devil Arms."

Nero quirked an eyebrow, his cerulean eyes examining the walls that were riddled with bullet holes and hidden behind copious amount of demon skulls and eclectic Devil Arms. "Think you've got enough room?" The younger male asked dubiously, spotting only one or two spaces where new additions could be added.

"Eh. Prob'ly." Dante yawned. His gloved hand enclosed fully round Nero's demonic hand. "Y'know…you wear your emotions on your sleeve, kid."

Thrown by the non-sequitur, Nero twisted his head round to see the older male's face. "What?"

"Your demon arm." Dante clarified. "When you're angry it almost blinds people, when you're sad the light switches off…I'll figure out the other emotions later…" He rubbed the smooth surface of Nero's Devil Bringer's armour. "Pain when you're trying to sleep though."

Nero grumbled, not bothering to jerk his demonic hand from the red clad Devil's grip. "You'll get used to it."

"It's like a glowstick." Dante continued, grinning at the disgruntled growl from the younger male. "At least if you lose your keys in the middle of the night in some dark, secluded carpark, you have a portable torch handy!"

Nero rubbed at his face with his human hand. "I don't even own a car."

"Hey," Dante shrugged. "You're young, could still happen."

"Why would I ever want a car?"

Dante hummed. "You've gotta point…motorbike then."

"No way." Nero snorted. "It would turn into scrap metal within an hour because of you."

"Now why does everyone say that?" Dante complained, pressing his cheek against Nero's. The younger male twitched at the pinpricks from the red clad Devil's stubble. "I don't destroy them for fun you know! Stuff…happens."

Nero turned his head round to pin Dante with a flat look. "Right. Stuff happens."

"It's true." Dante mumbled sullenly, leaning his head forward a little so that he could press their foreheads together. "I bet I could keep a motorbike intact for a whole day."

Nero (whose cheeks had taken a faint, pink shade to them) gave the older man a sly smirk. "You bet you can keep a motorbike intact for a whole day? What are you betting?"

Dante caught on rather quickly. "I bet…" He furrowed his brows in thought before his eyes lit up. "I bet that if I do keep my motorbike intact for a whole day, I get to do whatever I want to you for a week."

Nero scowled. No doubts that the Devil Hunter would do humiliating and/or perverted things to him. "Alright. But if you lose, you can't have pizza for a week."

Dante made an odd noise. "No pizza?"

Nero smirked again. "What? You gonna back out of it?"

Dante scoffed, releasing Nero's demonic hand to punch the air. "Like Hell! You'll see, kid! I'll have that motorbike completely intact by the end of this tomorrow!" He winked at the amused ex-Order member. "So you better get ready to call me Master Dante!"

Nero deadpanned. "Like that's ever gonna happen."


It had been Nero who was able to persuade Lady to give Dante enough money to buy a motorbike, assuring that a week without the red clad Devil's obsession of buying pizza every hour would total the same amount of the bike.

It was obvious that the odds were against Dante with his track record of destroying every motorbike he came across.

"There! An hour and I haven't even gotten a scratch on it!"

Nero lounged against the doorframe. "That's because you haven't rode it yet." He ignored Dante's slightly put out expression, far too used to the older male's quirks. "You'd only have to drive a metre for it to magically fall apart."

"Oh, shut up, kid." Dante muttered, stepping back from the sleek expensive vehicle. "I'll take it for a drive tomorrow and show you that I'm not the Grim Reaper to motorbikes everywhere! Then I'll make you do whatever I want tomorrow, and the first thing I'll do is make you say is, 'I was wrooong'!"

During this tirade, Dante had leapt upon the small garage's tool table, finger pointed dramatically at Nero.

The younger male just favoured the red clad Devil a flat stare. "…Right. Whatever. I'm going to bed." He then pivoted on his heel, marching away from the Devil Hunter.

"Gah! Wait! You're not mad are you? Kid? Kid!?"


Nero blinked.

Dante scuffed the floor with his foot.

Nero blinked again.

"Dante…why are you covered with green paint?"

Dante grinned sheepishly. Behind him, the motorbike was still in perfect condition, aside from the minute drop of green paint on the seat. "It's a funny story actually, kid…" The red, or rather, green clad Devil Hunter gesticulating flamboyantly as if that would help him tell the 'funny story' easier. "I was going to prove you wrong about the whole motorbike thing, when barely two metres, a can of paint fell out of nowhere! I was only able to shield the bike just in time."

Nero gave Dante a smug, 'I told you so' look. "You're dripping paint on the floor."

Dante looked down at himself and pouted childishly. "I liked this coat…and this paint is going to take forever to get outta my hair…"

"Then you better get in the shower before it dries." Oh yes, Nero was enjoying this with much vindictiveness. "Green really isn't your colour."

"Shut up, kid." Dante muttered, stomping past the younger male. As an afterthought, he then launched a surprise attack and ruffled the ex-Order member's white hair with a wet, painted hand. "Hahaha! Attack of the Green Paint!"

"Gaaah! DANTE!"


"I don't believe it."

Dante had a big shit-eating grin curled round his lips at the flabbergasted expression on the younger male's face. "It's 100 per cent the same as it was when I bought it!" He strutted up to Nero, azure eyes glinting ominously. "So…remember our lil' bet?"

Nero made a strangled noise, looking ready to gut himself with Red Queen. "Unfortunately." He choked out.

"Ah, ah, ah! 'Unfortunately' what?"

Nero grimaced, covering his face with his demonic arm. "Please don't."

Dante stepped forward, dipping his head down a little to stare into the younger male's eyes. "Say it…"

"Erugh…" Nero looked like he was sucking a particularly sour lemon as he forced out. "Unfortunately…Master Dante." He glowered angrily at the smug Devil Hunter. "Happy?"

"You have to call me that aaaaall week!" Dante crowed, wrapping his arms round the scowling teen's waist and nuzzling Nero's cheek. "Oh, I have so many plans for you! Eheheh!"

Nero didn't think much of his chances. "Why me?"

Nero squawked a second later when Dante had the audacity to sweep his smaller body into a bridal style hold, an almost maniacal laughter rumbling in the red clad Devil's chest. "W-What!? Dante! Put me down!"

"Nuh uh! It's Master Dante, remember?" Dante grinned at the teen in his arms, pleased at the cute blush on the scowling ex-Order member's face. "You're my slave for the whole week so I can do whatever I want without you complaining…" Here, Dante paused. "But you'll complain anyway so that's moot point."

Nero poked Dante's chest with Devil Bringer's clawed finger. "Master Dante." The younger male growled between gritted teeth. "Put. Me. Down."

"Oh, I'll put you down…" Dante gave a seductive purr, leading them out of the small garage into the shop. "I'll put you down on the bed and use this opportunity to try some new things out."

Nero choked. "You pervert! Let me down! Now!"

Manaical laughter rang through the shop as Dante ascended the stairs to his bedroom, ignoring the protesting Nero in his arms.

As the bedroom door closed, the shouts becoming muffled, Agni – strapped to the wall next to his brother and a particularly grotesque demon skull – commented rather blandly; "I think we should've told Master Nero that Master Dante cheated."

Rudra, however, disagreed. "That means we wouldn't have a Master Dante anymore."



A/N: How'd y'all like? Wanted smut, eh? Eh?

Heheh. I'll probably write smut later on.

Hope y'all enjoyed!