Summary: This is based off of the song 'I Am A Rock' by Simon & Garfunkel Music & Lyrics: Paul Simon

Summary: This is based off of the song 'I Am A Rock' by Simon & Garfunkel Music & Lyrics: Paul Simon. So it's not mine peeps'. (Peeps' - short term for 'people') This song reminded me a lot of Zelgadis.... Yes this is a typical, he likes Amelia and so on.... clichés are fun.

The Rock and The Island

A winter's day

In a deep and dark December;

            A soft crunching between boot and snow sounded softly on the road as a heavy foot laid all its weight onto the softened ground, left, right, left, right...

            Walking, it was so methodical, so well timed, so.... so predictable. Just as his life was becoming it seemed. Cure this, cure that. The group was as sick of his obsession with his 'cure' as he was becoming. Seven years. That's how long it had been. He had been eighteen years old when he had felt the magic tear through his body changing and molding it. Now he was twenty-four. Twenty - four years old. Seven years. That's what kept repeating in his head.

I am alone,

            A darkened silhouette shown against a fogged window, as snow outside fell down softly. Which wasn't very usual, he supposed his mistress had wanted a change. First it had been foggy, rainy, sunny, then dreary, it constantly changed week to week. But this snow... she had kept it since it had started snowing in the real world.

            Xellos pressed his forehead against the cooled glass feeling no cold despite the fact it would have numbed human flesh in mere moments. Cold... Just like him... He sighed out of character. He had been distracted by his thoughts all morning… Because he kept remembering the invitation, and then remembering who also might be there. And he couldn't just go up to Zelgadis at the Christmas Ball in Seyrune and say, 'Oh by the way, I've been totally intrigued and drawn to you I think I'm developing some kind of feeling for you.'

            There was no way Zelgadis would believe he had any kind of emotions for him. Even if he were to explain to Zel Mazoku COULD feel... It's just there so malicious they really don't heed other emotions. He had a connection to Lina's entire group in fact to keep track of them. Threads on the astral plain in a way, to lead him to them when need be. For a fact he knew Amelia was in a meeting with her council, utterly bored. Lina was practicing how to use her sword in the training room in the palace, and Gourry was teaching her. Filia.... He didn't really care about, but he knew she was on her way to the palace along with Lina-sans friend ... Sylphiel was it? They had met on their way.

And Zelgadis.... Was traveling alone ... Depressed... and on a road where if he kept walking straight he'd walk right by and past Seyrune sooner or later.

Gazing from my window to the streets below

On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.

            Zelgadis' mind refused to drop that one thought, seven years, two years alone. Well what did he expect? After Lina's explosion at him earlier back, he'd pretty much left. He knew about Lina now only by word. She was nineteen, still traveling, and still causing chaos. What else was to be expected? Did he really expect her to settle down? Hardly. He was pretty sure out of the group Sylphiel, and maybe Amelia would be the one's to 'settle down'.

            Lina wasn't meant for something like that.... she was meant for freedom. He HAD been meant for something like settling down... But now he was made to be by himself.

 

            His hands slid down into the pockets of his outfit and he pulled out a folded worn paper with a broken crest on it, an invitation to the palace. He had received it months ago, half a year to be exact, to a Christmas reunion in  Seyrune. Sent from the Queen of Seyrune, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyrune. Married to a prince, or so he had heard.

I am a rock,

            He had been invited to the wedding too. But he hadn't gone last year. After what he had discovered in himself how he had felt for her...

He had cared for her a lot... Not that it mattered anymore. He was alone, and that was that.

I am an island.

            Xellos in a soft rustle of wind disappeared from his room and into the winter's night. Barren trees, and a path with only one set of footprints lay below. He followed them quietly, masking his presence so that it'd be harder for Zelgadis to sense him. Yes he would confront him but if things went ill he wouldn't break. He was a very skilled Mazoku when it came to being 'emotionless'.           

I've built walls,

A fortress deep and mighty,

That none may penetrate.

            He was cold, it was very true, colder inside then the snow itself around him. He wondered if the group even knew why it was so bad for him. He couldn't stand it simply because the feeling of touch was gone. His stone hide was strong and useful, and in that way he had become slack in his defense. Were he to become human he'd have a high chance of dying in a fight due to carelessness built up over the years.

            With everything so different, he sunk into his, self-pity depression. They knew it and he knew it, he wasn't blind to that. But the reason behind his coldness and depression was started from anger and betrayal. The betrayal of Rezo, and the loss of his loved ones. So he had built a wall around him. Save few were even allowed near it, let alone in it. He barricaded people out; they had less chance to screw with him that way. To mess over his mind and heart.... what little was left of it that is.

            He didn't even let Zolf or Rodimus close to him. The few he let himself open to kept within the realm of Lina, Gourry, and Amelia.

            Xellos looked down to Zelgadis sensing a wall of coldness around him. And it had nothing to do with the temperature. He was blocking out a lot, with Zelgadis it was always like he was alone, even in a crowded room.

            There was always a disconnection between him and his other human companions. And that was why. THEY were human... Zelgadis was COMPLETELY different. He didn't fit in with them in a way. So he just withdrew himself.

            He and Zelgadis were a lot a like; they built walls of nothingness, to block out emotions. And so much more...

I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.

It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.

            Zelgadis frowned as a stir of wind pulled back his hood from his head, ice melting against his skin, and sticking to his hair. He sighed and just stopped closing his eyes. Did he even want to go? He left them with the feelings that he'd never need anyone again. He received the invitation and was hurt. What did he get from his friends? A big load of pain.

            But… When they made him smile and laugh… he almost felt like a family… He growled softly. Love, laughter, friends, who needed them? He was strong now. He had gained powerful, and learned more when he gave them up.

            "Love and friends, who needs them? They would reject me soon enough anyway…" he said aloud.

            "Yes I quite agree Zelgadis, laughter and love, detestable things. Happiness only causes pain in the end after all." The soft, smooth voice came all around him, encircling him in a way as he turned to Xellos.

I am a rock,

            "I mean if you have the epidermis of a rock you might as well just be one. Alone… Proud, Strong…"

            Zelgadis stiffened at Xellos' words. He was almost like one to a point already wasn't he?

I am an Island.

            "And what of yourself Xellos? If we're going to be fitting personalities to objects what would you be?"

            Xellos gave a small, almost sad, smile. "An island."

            "How do you figure that?" he kept his tone neutral as he spoke.

            "Alone, out in the middle of no where, most likely unknown, hardly touched, unique, but lets not forget the disadvantages of being a rock and an island Zelgadis-san… we are emotionally depraved…" he smirked lightly.

Don't talk of love,

            "What are you talking about?! Being a Mazoku what should it matter to you Xellos?" he frowned, "And I am not emotionally depraved, I'm fine the way I am."

            "Everyone needs a lil' love…" Xellos grinned as he paused, "…or lust. It's unhealthy otherwise."    

But I've heard the words before;

            "That's what Amelia used to say, except she said love. She was such a child."

            "She's grown a lot Zelgadis-san." An all-knowing smile crossed his features once more.

It's sleeping in my memory.

            THAT wasn't a safe topic Zelgadis' mind warned. He had purposely buried many thoughts of the group, especially when they concerned Amelia. That topic was laid at rest and here Xellos was poking it with a stick.

I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.

            "So she's grown, let's drop the subject, it's not something I want to discuss."

            "Sleeping memories re-awakening Zelgadis – San?"

If I never loved I never would have cried.

            "Shut – up Xellos! You know as well as Lina that I loved her!" he snapped without thinking then felt like hitting his head against a nearby tree.

            "Pain… Love… They all intertwine. Why does it hurt you that you loved her? Do you regret it?"

            "If I hadn't loved her I wouldn't have been so hurt by it. That's why I regret it!"

I am a rock,

            Zelgadis walked over to a large boulder and sat down unwilling to move and talk to this ass at the same time… or he'd end up decking Xellos. Which didn't sound so bad at the particular moment. He quickly re-gathered his calm. He was always the one who was supposed to be cool and collected. He should have had a better handle on his temper.

I am an island.

            Xellos stood in the middle of the lane silently tasting the Chimera' anger. "It disturbs you because she awoke something within you." He knew that his comment had hit their mark as Zelgadis' face darkened.

I have my books,

And my poetry to protect me;

I am shielded in my armor,

Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.

            "YES! Fine Xellos, is that what you wanted to hear?! I don't even know why I'm talking to you. I've never wanted, or needed for that matter, to say more then ten words to you at once, God knows why I am now."

            "Well you have been depraved of human contact for a while..."

            "You're hardly human Xellos."

            "I am too! I love, hate, need, want, desire, throw tantrums, get pissed… I'm just evil about it." He pouted lightly, "In fact I'm more human then you are right now. You're denying yourself these things. Except for the hate and pissyness…"

            "Shut – up fruitcake…" he then paused, "Mazoku can feel all that?"

            "Very much so. In fact if we feel too much of it we have to be re - newed or destroyed."

            "What do you mean?"

            "Oh, have our memory wiped, restart over to a point. An over emotional Mazoku can be a problem. And I doubt you need an explanation on what being 'destroyed' means."

            "I highly doubt YOU love or loved."

            "Ahh… so little you know of me. So very, very little."

            "Right."

            "Well I do love, and I am intrigued by rarities. And can be drawn to certain … people. Male or female. In the end they are all the same pretty much…"

            Zelgadis lightly twitched, "You're twisted."

            "Look into a mirror sometime Zelgadis."

            "Touché." Zelgadis answered back, his mouth lightly curved into a smile at his next comment, "So you're a pervert huh?"

            "Liking men is not a perversion!" Xellos pouted.

            "Right…" he stood and then began walking again as Xellos followed behind him.

            "So are you going to go to the party?"

            "I don't know… I just don't want to…"

            "Ah, you're afraid."

            "I am not!" Zelgadis snarled.

            "Yes, you are. If you weren't you'd greet your friends. I can sense and taste it Zelgadis, you're afraid. You've cut them off, you feel strong, and you're tired of being hurt… But your lonely as all hell and you KNOW were you to feel any kind of warmth inside you right now in that place where you have a heart, you'd cry from the suddenness of it because inside you miss it more then anything you've ever had." Xellos' explanation was harsh yet uncharacteristically straight forward.

I touch no one and no one touches me.

            Zelgadis back muscles tightened as he clenched his teeth, a part of his mind hurting from the truth, he almost could have cried…

I am a rock,

            "Shut… up." His voice was strained. "I don't need ANYTHING… or Anyone! You're right I'm a rock. An emotionless thing on this planet."

I am an island.

            Xellos' eyes opened. "Zelgadis – san… I said that to show you, you're not the only one. Because you and I are on and in the same boat. What I just said of you… Is almost what I go through…I don't think I could go and re join them because I'd hurt…" his eyes closed tightly. "Well this island must be going… It seems depression is contagious…" his voice was strained ever so slightly. "Good bye my rock."

And a rock feels no pain;

            Zelgadis right eyebrow flew up as a part of him screeched to a halt at what was being said. "What do you mean 'MY' rock?!"

            Xellos' trade mark smirk crossed his face lightly. "Sore wa himitsu desu!" he then disappeared.

            Zelgadis felt a hollowness enter him as he was left with the low moaning of the lonely wind.

            Should he go and try to re-live what he lost? Re-awaken those aching emotions? Or should he leave them…?

            He continued walking down the path, the ever-crunching noise following him. As city lights grew brighter he felt an ache within him begin as a tear fell down his cheek.

            'I have to keep my emotions in check…' he almost argued with himself… But then stopped… He was no rock… He was a man, despite his outer skin. He wanted to re – join them… He had more with them then without them…

And an Island never cries.

            Xellos' form hovered in the corner of the room behind a pillar, watching as a figure wearing beige colored clothes walked in. Silence fell in the room and the little princess, not so little anymore, ran to Zelgadis, crying how she had missed him.

            "I hope you and your husband are doing well Amelia." He said to her.

            "Husband? What do you mean husband?" she blinked.

            Xellos giggled, he loved messing with people's mind. He was guilty of this particular crime, he had been testing how much Zelgadis had loved Amelia… Had he given up on Amelia, he would have pursued Zel more… But obviously that was not the case.

            "You're not marri…" his voice died within his throat and he hugged her tightly almost crying with happiness.

            Xellos' smile faded and he shook his head. At least Zelgadis was happy…

            Even if he had wanted him for his own.