A/N: I brainstormed this one. No need to worry about writers block. Still, most of the "humor" will come on the spot.

There once was a puffball named Kirby. Kirby was cute, bouncy, and pink... The most desirable friend one could wish for. While fangirls drooled over Roy, Link, and Marth, Kirby was huggled and snuggled by the millions, not just fangirls. Every day, packages of baby binkies, knitted sweaters, locks of hair, and tubes of blood would arrive for him. He was a plush toy, an action figure, a snow globe, and yes, even a tampon. Many tried to gain the title of "Best buddy of Kirby". But alas, their freakish stalker efforts were in vain. For Kirby's best friend was the one and only Ness. Ness and Kirby spent every moment together. They would play with Fox's ray gun, make obscene remarks about Marth's tiara, and sift through Zelda's underwear drawer. Yet they always managed to get away with it because they were so gosh-darn adorable. Yes, life was sweet and luxurious for our sickeningly cute smasher, Kirby.

That is... Until the day Super Smash Brothers Melee became Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Then the newcomers started pouring in.



Kirby and Ness screamed in deep, obnoxious voices as their fellow smashers inched in away. It was breakfast time for the smashers. They all gathered in the breakfast hall, munching on waffles. But not average waffles. SUPER ENHANCED BLUEBERRY WAFFLES! You see, the new brawlers were being introduced today, so it was an extremely special event. The two friends head-high-fived with a grunt and slurped up their milk.


Roy burst into their breakfast scene, wearing authentic SSBB fan-garb. He howled like a dog, picked up a plate of waffles, and gave it a head-high-five. Ignoring the cries of Jigglypuff at her now inedible waffles, he plopped his bottom right next to Ness and Kirby. "Wassup guys. Excited about brawl? 'Cause I sure am... But I'm not sure I made it clear enough." Roy grinned and wiped the syrup and butter from his hair. They made a face. "What are you so happy about?" Ness asked smugly. "Yeeeaaah?" Kirby made the question even more irritating. Roy's grin disappeared, and somewhere, a fangirl farted. "W-what do you mean? I'm excited because there's new people... new fans... new stages... the ability to replay an ass-kicking..." Kirby silenced him with a stub of an arm, which was sticky with syrup. "You can't stay here for that. You're being layed off. 'Member?" Ness nodded, giggling a bit at Roy's clueless stupidity. "C'mon you guys..." Roy's grin returned, and somewhere, a fangirl decided not to order the bean burrito. "They can't get rid of me. It's impossible. I rock. I can speak japanese."

"So can I dude." Marth - who knew about the lay off - strolled by casually by and patted him on the shoulder. Roy's grin faded once more. "Please tell me you're kidding?!" He looked kind of pathetic, with bits of waffles sticking to his face, wearing a panicked expression. Ness and Kirby shook their heads in unison. "Yeah dude. You're out..." Kirby began heartlessly. "Didn't anyone tell you? Mewtwo, Young Link, Pichu, Some other suckish fighter... they were all layed off... You really shouldn't be here right now."

"Pfft, what are they gonna do? KICK me out?" Roy leaned back smoothly, folding his arms behind his back. Kirby and Ness disguised their mischievous laughter with fake coughs. While this whole scene was going on, the new brawlers were chatting nervously behind closed doors.


The voice of Master Hand echoed off the walls. "Time to introduce our new brawlers!" The hand squealed gleefully. Master Hand usually wasn't this excited about anything. But his twin brother, Crazy Hand, was on vacation, and that alone was enough to make all of his pent up joy explode in one day. He shivered with delight and silenced all of the smashers with a hand motion... which was the only motion he could make. "Now, you all no today is a--" He stopped, spotting Roy leaning cooly in his chair. "YOU?!" The hand boomed. "Eeep!" Roy squeaked, lost his cool, and fell back out of his chair. He leapt lightly to his feet, fixing his hair with an embarrassed expression on his face. "Y-yeah." Roy nodded towards the mighty hand. "GET OUT!" Master Hand hollered angrily.

"Make me." He folded his arms across his chest with a superior look on his face. "Fine." Master Hand replied. He floated towards the boy, who yelped as Master Hand lifted him off of the ground by the back of his shirt. He wriggled rowdily as the hand drifted towards the window. "No! You can't do this! I'M PURE AWESOME!" But Master Hand's ears were deaf to his pleas... or rather not there... 'cause you know... He's a hand, and hands don't have ears... forget it. Master Hand opened the window with his free pinky, and tossed Roy out. Ness and Kirby were in rapture."You were right Roy! Kirby managed to say through his laughter. "They can't kick you out... because Master Hand is a hand... and he doesn't have a foot... so he technically can't kick.. and.. never mind." He stopped trying to explain an already-lame joke.

"Now that he's outta the way..." Master hand shook a bit, as if to get Roy Cooties off of him. "Let's meet out new brawlers!"