Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Twilight, unfortunately. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
A.N. - Please review...I don't want to be updating like an idiot if no-one's reading! Also, the first part of the chapter gets a bit intense, but I put it in as a filler, so you don't have to read it.
"Bella, please, calm down!" Jasper pleaded with me. It was 9 o clock, and we'd been watching movies since 8, after I'd had my pizza. I was bouncing up and down dizzily, and the excitement that was radiating off me was effecting Jasper greatly. Jasper and I had drunk two bottles of alcohol between us, mixed with a soft drink, and it was definitely having an effect on me. I didn't know why he was drinking it; after all, the note from Emmett had said it was impossible for vampires to get drunk, and it would probably make him extremely uncomfortable to be drinking anything other than blood. Mental note, I thought. Don't think about Jasper drinking blood, because it may make his blood lust get uncontrollable. It occurred to me that he was drinking it to keep me company, though I'd drunk most of the alcohol. I was being sensible, obviously – I'd had the very clever thought of not thinking about blood, right? - but I was feeling slightly tipsy.
"Come on Jasper! You can't tell me to calm down, you're the one who I'm having so much fun with, remember?" His expression softened at this, and he smiled. I stood up, giddily, waddled to the TV and turned the volume up on the set. I'd lost the remote a lifetime ago, though Jasper probably knew where it was. I looked at Jasper, when I turned around, and felt myself melting in his eyes...I shook my head vigorously, toppling over a little, shaking out the bad thoughts. Edward was my life, my soul, my partner, my other half for all of eternity...even though it sounded very hokey to me at that point. I reached out for my glass on the coffee table, and tried to sip elegantly, proving that I wasn't drunk in the slightest. I failed, as I gulped down the remainder of the drink, the sweet yet sharp taste making my taste buds tingle.
"Bella!" Jasper scolded me, jokingly. "That's your fifth glass! I know it's weak, but it's still alcohol." I ignored him, laughing. I was having fun – just like you were meant to with friends. Jasper, my friend. I toppled into him, feeling dizzy. "WHOA Bella, calm!" He laughed, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, steadying me. My mind twisted the action. Jasper, my boyfriend.
Maybe the alcohol was having more of an effect on me than I'd originally thought. I realized that I'd been fourteen when I'd had my first large run in with alcohol. I decided to think about that, rather than the good looking muscly vampire that sat next to me. I was fourteen, and Renee was having a party. "Just a small gathering of friends, Bells!" She'd brushed it off. But the apartment was full, when the entire guest list had appeared, and various alcohol potions were left hanging around. I'd done my homework, watched Renee's friends dance and drink and now I was left clearing up, at 4 in the morning, as the guests flitted away slowly, going home to their own apartments. Maybe even their own children. Renee was out cold on the sofa, and I bent down beside her, admiring her beautiful face, though she didn't look at her best at that point in time. She was covered in a sheen of sweat, and most of her makeup had run from her face. The eyeliner I'd handed her that she'd outlined her eyes with was smudged, giving her panda eyes. She looked a mess, though still stunning. When she'd been awake, though, she was having so much fun, socializing and drinking. Drinking – I thought the word over and over, at every party my mother had. As more bodies crawled out of the front door, I turned my head to the kitchen. There was a lot of alcohol left. I didn't have school the next day, for the next few weeks, in fact. I straightened up, and smoothed down my clothes. The music that I'd left running, after turning the volume down, now played rebellious notes. I opened the drawer and pulled out a bottle opener, and opened a blue bottle. I sipped at it nervously, until I realized I liked it. I drank it, gulping it down. Renee wouldn't know. Charlie wouldn't know. It would be my secret, my rebellion for the night. I drank bottle after bottle, slumped against the kitchen cabinet. I watched Renee tossing and turning in her alcohol induced slumber, and I knew it wasn't fair. She was my best friend, which was what I needed. But I needed a mother too. I tried to push the idea away, but I knew it already, for I had pondered it over and over, when looking after her. I was fourteen, and I was looking after my mother, who should really be looking after me. I shook the idea from my head, trying to forget it. I didn't like that night, or the morning after.
I tried to distract myself, so I turned my head, and looked at Jasper. He was watching the movie intently. He couldn't have been watching it properly, but it gave me a chance to look at him. My alcohol induced stupor had me thinking things I really shouldn't be thinking. Jasper was unbelievably good looking. His eyes were liquid gold, focused on the screen, the bright pictures reflected in their surface. He was very muscly, and his choice to wear a short sleeved shirt showed this off incredibly, and I didn't mind that his arms were in full view, as the hazy lighting made it quite difficult to focus on anything as small as a pattern of scars. His blond hair fell over his eyes, and he shook it away. The movement, though subtle, shook me, and I toppled straight into him, collapsing with my head in his lap.
"I knew it wouldn't take long for you to fall over!" He laughed, and I felt him shaking underneath me. I shifted, so that I was looking up to his face.
"You can't fall over when you're sitting, Jasper!" I giggled. The words wouldn't come out right, making me feel very out of control. I looked at Jasper's lips, the corners turned up in a dazzling half smile. "Don't laugh at me, Jazzy!" I pulled myself up, into his arms, resting my head against his chest.
"Did you just call me Jazzy?" He asked, incredulous. I realized this was Alice's pet name for him, and tried to backtrack. I didn't want him to think that I was trying to be like his wife. But Jazzy is your boyfriend, silly! My mind added, making me more confused.
"No, no, no, Jazzy, I didn't call you Jazzy!" Oh. "Crap! I did it again, didn't I Jazzy?!" He laughed, but I couldn't see his expression. I realized I was probably making him uncomfortable, so I pulled myself off his muscular chest, as much as I disliked doing it, and put my hands on his shoulders. I was inches from his face, and he could probably smell the alcohol on my breath, but I didn't care. "Jasper," I forced the elongated word out of my mouth, making sure that I didn't call him Jazzy again.
"You can call me Jazzy if you want to, Bells." He whispered. The scent of his cool breath momentarily disorientated me, and I struggled to focus. His face was so close and it would only take the tiniest movement to near myself to him and kiss him on the lips... I mentally slapped myself. Hadn't I just been trying to stop myself from making him uncomfortable? I needed to tell him that I was feeling things I shouldn't thanks to the alcohol I'd consumed, and he'd understand, and make sure I didn't step out of line. Then he could take me up to his room...NO! He would take me up to Edward's room, and we'd go our separate ways. I realized I hadn't been close to him like this physically ever before, and it was probably making his blood lust far worse than it usually was.
"Jazzy," I started again, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, and maybe it's just the alcohol talking, but tonight I'm feeling things I shouldn't..." He cut me off, resting his forehead against mine. I couldn't believe I was so close to him. I could kiss him, right now if I wanted to! And God, did I want to. But he started talking, so I listened, hanging on his every word.
"Bella, I know what you've been feeling," Ah. Didn't think of that. How stupid of me, the godlike empath in front of me would have obviously noticed the lust radiating from me. He continued, and I expected the worst. He'd shout, and send me up to Edward's room like a child. I'd come way too close to him, and I should be ashamed, mentally cheating on Edward and betraying my best friend! What kind of monster was I? But, his silken voice continued in a gentle whisper, "I'm not drunk, and I feel the same way about you." He let this sink in, as I stared into his golden eyes. I took a deep breath, ready to tell him that it must be my emotions manipulating his, because he loved Alice, and I loved Edward. But all I wanted right now was to kiss him, and the rest didn't matter. "Bella, please," he looked at me, begging. I didn't know what he wanted. For me to stop thinking about him, for me to move away...or for me to kiss him?
"It's my emotions manipulating yours, Jazzy. You couldn't possibly feel the same way for me, you absurdly delicious god like creature! Why would you?!" The realization of what I'd just let slip sunk in, and I pulled back from him, clapping my hands over my mouth. Bella, clumsy, I could identify with. Bella, danger magnet, I agreed with. Bella, slurring her words after having to much to drink, I'd come to expect as the night continued. But the Bella who let humongous things slip like the adjectives she was using mentally to identify her boyfriend's divine brother, I was not used to.
I waited for Jasper to laugh, to tell me that I was right. He was a god, and he didn't want to be near the likes of me. I slipped off his lap, and sat next to him, ashamed. I couldn't look at him, because I could feel his eyes smoldering, penetrating me. Then, suddenly, I felt overpowering lust, and I whipped my head around to face him.
"Bella, I feel exactly what you feel. And I want to do exactly what you want to do." I took a sharp breath, and I inched closer to him. His arms snaked around my waist, pulling me closer. I was elated; about to kiss the Adonis before me...I looked at his lips, filled with longing, lust... His lips brushed against mine for a fraction of a second, not giving me chance to even feel them properly, before they were gone.
A sharp beeping sound filled my ears, and I realized Jasper's cell was ringing. He reached over to it, sighing, and I huddled up against him, as we both read the name that was flashing on the front screen of his silver cell. I looked at him in terror, and I saw the same emotion in his gold eyes, when we read the Caller ID.