The universe's next top slayer! (part one)
"Greetings gentle viewer and welcome to this week's edition of America's next top slayer-"
"Shouldn't it be the universe's next top slayer?" The video camera was out and in the hands of one Dawn Summers. The two walked simultaneously through the house; they were on a creative expedition.
"You're right-okay cut and rewind, this vid. has to be boss," Andrew moaned as Dawn rewound the tap and hit record. They were now entering the summer's kitchen, where most of the potentials and Xander were crowded.
"Gather 'round gentle viewers for this week's exciting episode of the universe's next top slayer!" Andrew smirked as Dawn skimmed the lens over the crowded kitchen.
"Let's do introductions shall we?" Andrew was perkier than a cheerleader, "I'm your host, Andrew. I enjoy long walks on the beach, holding hands and sunsets--"
Dawn lowered the camera and gave Andrew a questionable look.
"What?" Andrew squeaked nervously, "I was just introducing myself;" he rubbed his arm and looked at the ceiling.
"Hi," Andrew stared awkwardly at the ceiling," I'm Andrew, I'll be your host," He let out a hefty sigh, "I enjoy RPG's and collecting action figures-"
"I think you mean dolls!" scoffed Rona from behind Andrew.
"Silencio from the peanut gallery!"
"So like I was saying, I'm Andrew and I like action figures ouuu—and those tiny sour candies, the ones which make your head explode!"
"Warheads?" Rona offered
"From my Masterpiece," Andrew crossed his arms as Dawn zoomed in on Rona's confused face.
"Andrew what are you doing?" Buffy walked into the kitchen mean while giving Dawn a questionable glare as if to say, "You're hanging out with him? Really?'
"I take it back, I don't want to know," Buffy opened the fridge and poured herself a cup of milk.
"And this is gentle viewers is Buffy summers," Andrew continued to narrate as Dawn zoomed in on Buffy's mouth.
"She's the current slayer-soon to be replaced by THE UNIVERSE'S NEXT TOP SLAYER!" Andrew grinned; his elaborate TV series was going as planned. Buffy is like the Tyra of the flabbergasting television series, though Andrew.
"Soon? Soon to be replaced?" Xander put down his coffee.
"Of course not-ha-ha I didn't say that," Dawn swerved-between the two, slowly closing in on their eyes.
"Yeah you just did!" Xander pointed, "Dawn rewind the tape," Xander stepped forward and Dawn backed away.
"Cut and Print!" Andrew butted in nervously and led Dawn out of the Kitchen.
"We can cut that last part out," whispered Andrew under his breath.
"Where's the night vision on this thing?" Dawn held up the Camera to Andrew as a bunch of the potentials, Buffy and Spike headed to the grave yard. Andrew stopped and pressed a red button on the side of the Camera. Dawn held it up to eye level and set it on Andrew as he strolled along the pathwalk.
"Once again adventous personnel we bring you into the heart of slayer training, to be a slayer you have to be, strong, aggressive, you have to put you emotions aside-essentially you have to be a mean-green fighting machine--"
"Buffy can we stop for ice-cream?" Amanda butted past, knocking Andrew aside.
"Hey watch it; I'm as brittle as crusted blood" Andrew yelled after her then turned back to the camera.
"I kind of want Ice cream, let's side track this mission," Dawn stopped recording and let the video camera hang of her hand.
Buffy had obviously said no to ice cream so the rest of the potentials had gone ahead while Andrew and Dawn snuck into the ice cream parlour.
"Shouldn't we be documenting the potentials?" Dawn wondered out loud. Two rocky road ice creams were passed over the counter and Andrew fished a few dollars out of his jean pocket.
"Na, Buffy's probably just doing one of her motivational speeches," he handed one ice cream to Dawn and dug into his own.
"Oliver wood gave shorter speeches than Buffy," Andrew smirked as they leered at downtown Sunnydale.
"Harry Potter's Quiditch leader?" Andrew waited for an 'ohhh' but didn't get one, "You know….Harry Potter, sexy tousled black locks, lighting forehead, best seeker for forever's!?" Dawn just stared at him with blank eyes.
"I have much to teach you," Andrew patted her lightly on the shoulder. They began to ease out of the parlour.
"Quick Robin, to the Bat-mobile!" Andrew shouted and pointed to the street leading to the Grave yard. Dawn continued to stare blankly at him.
"E'gads, you're like media challenged or something," and with that the two strolled into the night. Their mission yet to be fulfilled.
"Spike," Andrew whispered, " Strong, Loyal to the slayer, has a way with humans of the female variety and last but not least… a mentally challenged vampire-"
" keep on doing that, and I'll give that bite on your neck a companion," Spike threatened as the potentials roamed the grave yard in search of vicious vampires. Andrew's ice-cream was leaking everywhere and at last a giant chocolaty-chunk dropped onto spikes doc martens. Spike looked down at his black boots, "I'm going to kill you,"
Dawn zoomed out as Spike tanked Andrew onto the ground.
"Help! Help! You can't kill me on television!—I'LL SUE YOU!" can you sue the dead? Spike pinned Andrew's wrists down and went for the kill. Andrew screamed out his last appeal, "Rape!! Rape!" Dawn just started laughing as Rona and two of the other potentials rushed to Andrew's side. Spike rolled his eyes and backed off a squirming/terrified Andrew.
"Bloody hell i think my ears are bleeding," Spike stuck a finger in his ear and spun it back and force.
"severs you right for attacking a innocent young lad!" Andrew barked, his voice cracking. Spike prentended to ludge for Andrew again then evilly cackled and walked off.
"I think I need to change my pants," Andrew was pretty sure he'd peed himself.
Dawn did a close up on Andrew's crotch.
"Hey!" Andrew wailed at Dawn; putting his hand up to cover the lens, "That doesn't have x-ray vision does it?"
(sorry for the long wait, my computer got a virius and died, but now it's back :)
Please read & REVIEW :)