-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or its context.
Warning(s): Slash, Amnesia, Sexual Context, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-
Main Paring: Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter
Side Pairings: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,
Summary: Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.
A/N: Please do read all the ending notes and the A/N's I put up. They may be long but a lot of the information is important!
What makes life beautiful, what helps express our feelings
It hurt, it hurt so freaking much and Harry wished he had Tom there so he could curse him to oblivion or at the very least throw something at him.
But no, he hadn't heard a thing from the man since the night of the attack. That was months ago. Months ago.
And now he lay in the Infirmary, Pomfrey talking about cutting him open, pulling out his child and all he wanted to do was say wait, just wait! I can't- not without Tom!
But then he caught sight of Dumbledore in the corner, looking worried and Harry could feel guilt entering him, consuming him.
He had told Dumbledore what Tom had done, and only Dumbledore. He wasn't sure why he had. Perhaps he wanted to prove that there was good in Tom, perhaps he wanted Dumbledore's consent…perhaps he had simply thought it was the right thing to do.
All he knew was that Dumbledore had barely seemed fazed by it. He had seemed relieved; there was no doubt about that. He had even seemed…happy with Tom's sacrifice, but he had not said anything.
He had ushered Harry along towards the Infirmary where others were being attended to so he could be checked.
The battle had been over by the time he had reached the school, and the majority of the Death Eaters that had been defeated had been moved out of Hogwarts by the time he left Dumbledore's office.
He had come across Draco on his way towards the Infirmary, his father and Severus with him along with Theodore.
Harry didn't know how to react when he had saw Lucius. He knew the man was against the Order, but he was also Draco's father and one of Tom's favorite followers. He had eventually decided to just pretend like he knew nothing. Wasn't that what he had been doing all along?
They had walked him to the infirmary where Draco wasted no time in announcing in Harry's ear the fact that his father was planning on marrying Severus, hopefully, he added, before the child was born.
Harry had wisely kept any surprise or comments to himself. Though it had been hard. God, sometimes he wondered how he had survived with the mouth he had.
A scream cut through his throat and thoughts, effectively bringing him back to reality. Back to the fact that Pomfrey still thought it was time to operate.
"We can't wait any longer," she said. "We truly can't. Those pains you're having? That's your body starting to reject the child."
Harry bit his lip, partly to hold back the scream that wanted to be free and partly because he still, deep down, wanted to wait. Wanted to wait on the off chance that Tom would walk through the door in time.
But he knew how foolish such a thought was and with a resigned sob, he gave a small nod.
Pomfrey's expression turned into one of immense relief as she gave a nod. "Alright, you'll feel a slight pressure, Harry, but I promise, it'll be over quickly."
Harry didn't nod this time, "Just do it, please."
Dumbledore met them in front of the doors of Hogwarts, his expression grim and his eyes a solid, cold blue. He was not fooled by the young face that stared back at him, nor was he fooled by the Ministry official beside the young man.
"This is Tomas Neil," the Ministry official said. "He's declared himself the father of Harry Potter's child."
"Oh?" Dumbledore said, giving a grim smile. "Are you sure of this, Tomas? Harry is aware of who the father is."
"As am I," Tomas said coldly. There was something about his green eyes that spoke of immense hate as he stared upon Dumbledore. "I wish to see Harry."
"I do not think that is wise-"
"I'm here to propose," Tomas interrupted, "Harry deserves the best. Deserves happiness, no?"
"And you think you of all people are the one who will give him this?" Dumbledore snapped, half tempted to give up on the charade and yet was well aware of the Ministry official who probably knew nothing. But could he truly allow this villain in? Allow him to pretend that he was anything else but a monster?
The memory of Harry telling him of Tom's sacrifice suddenly came to the front of his mind, as did the picture of Harry struggling to wait, ignoring Pomfrey's pleas, all because he wanted to wait for his lover.
Dumbledore let out a small sigh, and he realized then he could not protect Harry if he did not wish to be and perhaps…dear Merlin hopefully, he wouldn't need it.
"Fine," Dumbledore said. "He's in the infirmary."
"Is he alright?" Tomas asked, a look of panic crossing his features before it left just as quickly.
"Yes," Dumbledore said softly. "He just had a son."
It took a moment for the words to sink in before the figure was sprinting up towards Dumbledore and the aged wizard had just enough time to step aside before the young man rushed past him.
Dumbledore shared a look with the Ministry official. "You needn't have escorted him here. I had received the Ministry's orders to allow them to see one another."
"Oh, I am here on Mr. Neil's behalf. He wishes to marry Mr. Potter as soon as possible, it seems."
Dumbledore didn't know how he felt about that.
When he entered the infirmary, the first thing he heard was the mumbling- the cooing. He walked further in, not caring about the empty beds, or the thought of anyone else present, and then he reached the very end of the infirmary that seemed to have been secluded off.
He grasped the curtain, hesitated for a single moment before he pulled it back, revealing a sight that nearly made him fall to his knees.
It was Harry…with their son. A tiny little bundle that he barely caught a glimpse of before Harry's words distracted him.
"Who are you?" Harry asked, his gaze suspicious.
He grinned. "I'm hurt that you don't recognize me, treasure," he said softly as he walked towards the empty chair and pulled it closer to the bed before promptly sitting down. "Think real hard now…and remember, I only have less than an hour."
Harry's look of confusion did not leave. "What are you talking…" he started but stopped abruptly when the stranger's lips curled into a smirk all too familiar.
"Tom…?" Harry whispered. "Is that…you?"
"Yes," Tom said. "The one and only."
"I- how...I don't understand! You don't look anything like…"
"If anyone asks, I'm Tomas Neil, yes?" Tom said softly. "And I'm the father of your child."
"You are the father of my child."
"There you go, you'll only be telling one lie."
"Tom," Harry hissed. "What is this!"
"I said I picked you, didn't I?" Tom mumbled. "So I've done it right. I carved myself a new identity- one that wasn't being used anyway. One that could provide for you and for our son-"
"What did you do?" Harry said. "Tom-"
"Nothing," Tom said, "Do you honestly think I would be stupid enough to come here with a proposal for a new life through the killing of someone? Knowing your bleeding heart so well?" Tom said dryly.
Harry didn't fight the blush that no doubt colored his cheek.
"I've been gone for so long because I was looking for the right identity. Someone who has not been seen outside in a very long time, someone of old money but no living relative."
"And then what, you stole their identity? Don't you think they'll eventually find out?"
"Not if they're already dead."
"But you just-"
"Tomas Neil died a year ago," Tom said smoothly, "Suicide, in his own home. His body was never discovered."
"Then how do you know about it?"
"He was a follower," Tom said. "A year ago, I went over to his house to settle…business…and I found him. I arrived just in time to see him take his last breath. I left shortly afterward."
"Oh…" Harry said. The thought that Tom could be lying entered his mind but he shoved it aside. Tom should know better than lying to Harry by now. He knew that deep down Harry would forgive him for nearly anything so long as he confessed to the act. Lying, however, Harry hated that the most.
"And so you remembered and decided to take his identity?"
"It didn't come to me immediately," Tom said with a small frown. "But when it did, it took me a bit to clean up his manor to make it seem as if someone has lived there for the past year. Then I had to go to the Ministry…make a few appearances, disprove any rumor that "I" was dead."
"But come on, are you saying no one knows what Tomas Neil looks like?"
"He was a Metamorphmagus known for constantly changing his appearance to the point where he had different faces. Those that knew him identified him by this," Tom explained as he grabbed the necklace around his neck with a silver pendent of what looked like a wing. "A family heirloom."
"But you're not a Metamorphmagus, how will you-"
"This is how he truly looked like," Tom said. "I took a few of his hairs and made some Polyjuice Potion. I was thinking of settling down Neil's habit of constantly changing his appearance. Perhaps take on my true appearance as Neil's…favorite appearance."
"There are people who know your true appearance."
"No one that would say anything either because they fear me or respect you," Tom said smoothly. "How about we worry about such things when we get there?"
"I want you to marry me," he interrupted. "I want us to be together. I'll take Neil's job within the Ministry…work to change the Wizarding World from that position. We'll live happily, I promise. All you have to do is agree."
"I…" Harry glanced down at the bundle in his arms that had fallen asleep at some point and looked so very peaceful. "Would you really do that…all of that…for me?"
"And more," Tom said, looking so serious. "Much more."
Harry looked up and stared into those unfamiliar eyes. "Could it really be that simple?"
"Yes," Tom said. "If you wish it."
"I wish it," Harry answered. "I truly do."
Tom gave a small smile, his hand reaching out and cupping Harry's face. "I love you, Harry."
"I love you too…" Harry whispered, unable to stop the smile that wanted to split his face. "Do you want to meet him?" Harry asked, raising his arms a bit so Tom could see the baby's face a little better.
"Of course," Tom said, sounding almost insulted yet he stayed in the chair for a few seconds before he stood and reached out for the small bundle. Harry let out a small sigh that sounded pained.
"Are you alright?"
"My torso's still sore," he confessed. "It was about an hour ago that she did the operation." He leaned further into the pillows behind him with a small sigh. "Sirius and Remus will be here tomorrow they said."
"We should get married before then," Tom said, his gaze on the baby in his arms. It was a tiny little thing, with a perfect nose and mouth, and little fingers. Tom felt something in him melt. This was his son…his son. His and Harry's son.
"-mean?" Harry's voice finally cut in and Tom reluctantly pulled his gaze from the sleeping baby to gaze upon Harry. "Huh?"
"I said, what do you mean? That we have to get married before then?"
"Well, I doubt your godfather is fond of me," Tom said dryly. "Hell, I'm all for him thinking I'm truly Tomas Neil. I'd rather not have to go through a long progress where I try to convince every person who cares for you to allow us to marry."
"Just the paperwork," Tom said, "Afterward, if you want, we can have a huge, outrageous wedding with every person your big heart wishes to invite."
Harry gave a small sigh. "I don't want to go behind their backs like this…"
"I didn't say anything," Tom said. He waited for a moment before adding, "I have a Ministry official here just in case you want to take the easy route, however."
"Also very practical."
The baby shifted slightly in Tom's arms and Tom looked down, for a second thinking he was awake. He wasn't however.
"What are we going to name him?"
Harry had closed his eyes for a moment but they opened at Tom's question. "I was thinking…Jamie. I don't know..." he gave a small shrug.
"After your father?"
"Hm…" Harry gave a half shrug, looking slightly uncomfortable. "I just like Jamie Nicolas."
"Then Jamie it is," Tom said. "Jamie Nicolas…"
A comfortable silence fell upon them and for a long time, neither of them did anything to disturb it. Harry closed his eyes, deciding they needed a rest while Tom continued to gaze down upon his son as if the little creature had all the answers.
It was minutes before Harry opened his eyes once more.
"You know, I have so much to tell you," Harry said.
"Yeah. Snape and Malfoy are getting married, you know that? Also, Blaise proposed to Draco and they're planning on marrying once they finish school."
"None of that surprises me."
"They seem happy," Harry said softly.
"I'm sure they are."
"You think we'll end up that happy?"
They shared a look that spoke for them; spoke of forgiveness, of love and of a future. A future that would undoubtedly be hard but also one with them together and, in the end…
"Yeah…I think we'll be happy," Tom said softly. "Just like everyone else, I think."
Harry seemed satisfied with the answer for he closed his eyes once more and allowed himself to sink back into the mattress and built up pillows. Tom watched him and he knew the moment the other wizard fell asleep.
The emotion in his chest was happiness, he knew it. it was rather foreign in its lightness but he grasped at it, not allowing it to leave him.
The Ministry official arrived a few minutes later with Dumbledore not a step behind. Tom barely spared them a glance. "Let him sleep…he's earned it." His gaze was back on his future spouse and he took in all that he could. Watched as his chest rose and fell, watched as his lips parted slightly in sleep.
He watched it all and didn't bother to think of what could go wrong or the people he would have to deal with. He would fight for his position by Harry's side. He would fight for his son and he would win.
He had surrendered to one cause, but he wouldn't for this one. This one was too large, too important.
He moved Jamie in his arms until he was holding him with one arm while his other hand grasped Harry's. "We'll be happy…I promise."
And it could be said that they were.
The end! I know, maybe not what you guys were looking for but –shrug- anyway, I'd like to thank all of you for sticking with this story and thanks for your support! I'm sorry it took so long to update and thanks for being so patient!
As a note, I really don't plan on making a sequel but if on the off chance (really really small chance) that I do, I'll drop a note here.