Me: I have to explain this before you read it. If I don't you will think there is something seriously wrong with me.

Cautai: There is something seriously wrong with you.

Me: Yeah, but I like to pretend to have a normal psyche.

Mims: You fail miserably at that attempt.

Me: Shut up. So this is something that I, the non-Christian, came up with for Easter. It started out as just Cloud and Sephiroth, but when I was thinking about it I realized that it was sooo not something that Cloud would do. Then it turned into Zack and Sephiroth, but I felt bad for leaving Cloud out. So finally it became Zack, Cloud, and Sephiroth. And as I was at a hockey game all day so I had a lot of time to think about this one. The Gophers might have lost, but man oh man did I win.

Mims: That was perverted even by my standards.

Me: Shut up.

Disclaimer: If I say I own this Sephiroth will stab me.

Warning: Cloud in a bunny costume with Zack and Sephiroth present, need I say more? Well yes, actually I do. Yaoi! But no sex, sorry. No like, no read.

Pairing: Sephiroth x Zack x Cloud.

Not betaed in order to get it out in time so I can get it on Easter.


Sephiroth stalked down the hallway, people veering out of his way after one look at his face. People were usually quick to avoid him on any day, but today they fled the general. It just had to be Easter, Sephiroth's least favorite holiday. Nothing particularly bad had happened on Easter in the past to cause the silver haired man to have such a dislike of the holiday, well, nothing too bad. Hojo never bothered him anyway. What did happen was Zack. Normally Sephiroth was all too happy to have the raven haired man around, but when a holiday rolled around his second in command became unbearable. At least with other holidays Sephiroth usually ended up with presents, but all he ever got on Easter was a headache. Last year Zack had decorated his office in pastels, hidden nearly one hundred hard boiled eggs in Sephiroth's office and courters, and released a dozen white rabbits and fuzzy yellow chicks into the mess hall. There were three things that were definitely wrong with Zack's actions in Sephiroth's mind. First, he was supposed to be the scary as fuck general of Shinra, not the pastel ooh la la general. Second, despite his famous scouting skills Sephiroth did not know there were still some eggs hidden in his office and courters and when they were left alone they rotted and smelled horrible. Third, someone had to catch those rabbits and chicks without killing them and no SOLDIER had that kind of gentleness left in them after going through training and being pumped full of mako. It had been a nightmare to explain to the president why there were dead animals in the mess hall that weren't part of 

the menu. Sephiroth scowled at the memory and decided that something horrible had happened in the past to make Easter so bad.

Coming to his office door, Sephiroth paused. Glancing over at his assistant the silver haired man couldn't miss the silent fit of laughter the chestnut haired woman was currently engaged in. Leah was one of the few people on the planet that wasn't afraid of Sephiroth, probably because she had seen him in real life and had blackmail material. She actually had a tape of him singing karaoke the one time that Zack had convinced Sephiroth to go out drinking. So when Leah was laughing and trying to hide it from Sephiroth it couldn't only mean one thing, Zack had already attacked.

"What did he do?" Sephiroth sighed as he turned to fully face the petite woman.

"You honestly think I'm going to tell you," Leah giggled, "That is just so precious."

"I should give you to the Turks," the general shook his head slightly.

"You wouldn't," Leah just waved her hand slightly, "Because I'd give them that tape and you'd have Tseng on you for the rest of your natural life. You know, I think he fancies you."

"Great, just what I need," Sephiroth turned away from the brunet to stare at his door, "I really don't want to go in there now."

"Oh trust me, you do."

Sephiroth threw a venomous glare at his assistant, but it was completely ignored. With a sigh he pushed the door open and walked into what he desperately hoped wasn't his redecorated office. When no light pastel met his eyes Sephiroth stopped to look around. His eyes immediately fell on the two males standing by his desk and he had to choke back a startled laugh. There stood Zack completely normal, his black hair in its usual spikes, uniform in relative order, and no visible new injuries. It was the blond next to him that made Sephiroth want to laugh. The petite blond looked thoroughly embarrassed and mortified as well as slightly annoyed. It seemed Zack had taken the liberty of dressing him that morning, because Sephiroth knew for a fact that Cloud did not usually dress in a rabbit outfit. He even had a set of rabbit ears attached to his head.

"Don't," Cloud muttered, his cheeks turning a brilliant shade of red.

"I wasn't going to say anything," Sephiroth was extremely grateful for his self control at that moment, "Now, what is going on here Zack?"

"Why do you look at me right away?" Zack put a hand to his chest as a mock pained look flashed across his face only to be replaced with his usual good natured grin seconds later.

"Because it's always your fault," Cloud muttered.

"Spiky, how could you?"

"He is intelligent Zack," Sephiroth sighed, "Though how you managed to get him dressed in this atrocity is beyond me."

"Fine," Zack sighed, "It was me."

"And?" Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at the raven haired man.

"And what?" violet eyes stared at the silver haired man in confusion.

"What is going on here?" Sephiroth brought one hand to his forehead in frustration.

"Oh right! So here's the deal," Zack said very matter of factly, "I've hidden an Easter egg somewhere in this room and you have to find it."

"And why is Cloud in a bunny costume?"

"Because Zack's an ass," the blond said.

"Ouch, Spiky that hurt," Zack frowned at the small blond.

"But he would be correct," Sephiroth smiled good naturedly.

"What is this?" Zack pointed between the two other males in the room, "Some kind of unholy union against me?"

"Basically," Cloud shrugged slightly.

"I don't know why I put up with you two," Zack sighed.

"Neither do we," Sephiroth shot back.

"Whatever," Zack smiled suddenly, "You have to find the egg."

"Cloud, where did Zack hide the egg?"

"Don't tell him!" Zack yelled, causing Cloud to jump slightly, "He has to look."

"He hid it in this damn costume," Cloud flushed as he spoke.

Sephiroth stared at Cloud, not completely sure he had heard the teen correctly. Turning his gaze to his second in command, Sephiroth saw that Zack was looking particularly disgruntled and concluded that he had indeed heard Cloud say that the egg was in the costume. Clearing his throat slightly, Sephiroth turned back to the blond.

"Why are you still wearing that costume?" he asked carefully.

"Dumbass here messed with the zipper," Cloud blushed even more furiously, "I can't get it off."

"Come here," Sephiroth sighed.

Cloud looked into Sephiroth's eyes and smiled slightly. Before he made his way to the general he punched Zack in the arm. "Ow!" Zack exclaimed.

Sephiroth couldn't hold back a smile as the raven haired man started to rub his arm and glare at the blond as Cloud made his way to Sephiroth's side. As soon as the small teen stood in front of him Sephiroth motioned for him to turn. Blushing slightly Cloud complied, turning to that his back was to the silver haired man. Gently Sephiroth pulled on the zipper only to find that it was unmoving. At Zack's slight snicker, Sephiroth gave the garment a more forceful tug. Still it wouldn't budge.

"I'm afraid there is only one way to get that off now," Zack crossed his arms over his chest with a smug grin.

"And what would that be?" Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, more than slightly suspicious.

"Cut it off," Zack's grin broadened considerably.

"Oh really?" Sephiroth smirked slightly.

"You're both perverts," Cloud groaned, his head dropping slightly.

"But you love it," Zack walked up to the small blond and laid a kiss on his forehead.

"Idiot," the teen muttered.

"Right as always," Sephiroth smiled.

"Again with the insults," Zack smiled slightly, "And here I was trying to do something nice for you, bringing you a present and all."

"I'm not an object Zack," Cloud scowled, "You can't just give me to someone."

"Yes I can," Zack grinned broadly, "I have before, you and Seph didn't seem to mind."

"Idiot," Cloud and Sephiroth said in unison.

"Yeah, yeah," Zack waved a hand in dismissal, "I know. So Seph, why don't you open your Easter present?"

"I'm going back to the barracks," Cloud murmured, "I don't care if people see me any more."

Rather than allowing Cloud to follow through with his threat, Sephiroth unsheathed Masamune and cut away the costume in one swift move. Cloud squeaked in surprise, jumping away from the general and out of his clothes. Sephiroth grinned broadly at the sight of the petite blond standing before him, admiring the way his skin shone a brilliant purly white in the indoor lighting. Gently Sephiroth spun Cloud to face him, bursting out laughing at what he saw. Zack had painted an Easter egg on Cloud's stomach that had 'Fuck me hard' written on it. The blond just scowled at the general, not in 

the least bit amused. His face turned bright crimson when he looked down at what had the silver haired man so amused though.

"Zack!" Cloud shipped around to glare at the raven haired man, "You said that it was just an egg!"

"It is just an egg," Zack blinked innocently, "I just decorated it."

"So," Sephiroth smiled as both Cloud and Zack turned to him, "You both were in on this."

"Maybe," Cloud smiled, his sapphire eyes sparkling, "Did our plan make Easter a little more bearably?"

"I don't know," Seph tapped his chin thoughtfully, "I don't think there has been any distinct change yet."

"You should have heard Zack's original plan," the blond smiled broadly, "It involved puppies and dying your hair pink."

Sephiroth turned his eyes to his second in command and raised an eyebrow. When the raven haired man just blushed and looked away, Sephiroth knew it must have been bad. "Well," he sighed, "I guess I'm going to have to punish you."


Me: I love my muses.

Mims: Damn straight.

Cautai: I love you too.

Me: I am actually very pleased with how this turned out, even though there wasn't any sex…yet…So I was thinking of turning this into a series when I have time, that's why it's an M rating. But if no one likes it then I won't bother. I've never actually written a threesome, so that's why it's not in there. I did write the sex scene, but it was just so horrible in my opinion that I couldn't bear the thought of actually posting it. It was a kill bunnies and puppies bad. I'll work on it and maybe post it later…maybe…if I get reviews that ask for more. So review!