This is completely plotless silliness set way into the future and written for Easter. I hope everyone had a great weekend and, if you're in Britain like me, enjoyed the SNOW! I'm dreaming of a white Easter and all that… :-P
Anywho, the title is taken from something MrsB108 said about Easter eggs… and we know we all think of them like that!
Enjoy, and let me know what you think!
Of all the Earth traditions Teyla had heard about in the last ten years, she found Easter one of the oddest. She understood that it was a religious holiday, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, whom Christians on Earth believe was the son of God. This she got.
What she didn't get was why the occasion was marked by the giving of chocolate eggs. Someone had once tried to explain to her that Easter had also come to represent the arrival of Spring and new birth, and that the egg was a symbol of this, but that still begged the question: why chocolate?
When she had asked John this, he had looked at her askance and asked her what the point of a non-chocolate egg would be. Teyla had let it go. She was not quite as… obsessed… with chocolate as most people from Earth were. Her six-year-old son, though, was; which was lucky since it seemed almost every person on Atlantis had bought an egg for him this Easter.
Teyla headed towards their quarters now, balancing six boxed Easter eggs precariously in her arms, to add to the dozen or so they had already. It was going to take Tagan weeks to get through all this chocolate.
Teyla almost dropped the eggs as she opened the door, but just about managed it, only to be attacked the moment she walked through.
"More eggs! More eggs!" Tagan cried excitedly, bouncing over to her and grabbing her arm. The eggs went flying, tumbling down to the floor. Teyla managed to catch one as it fell, but the rest bounced off the floor. Teyla sighed, but Tagan didn't seem at all worried that his eggs had fallen – in fact he seemed delighted.
"Momma why can't it be Easter every day I really like Easter eggs can you make Easter eggs coz I think chocolate tastes way better when it's shaped like an egg ooh this one has Snickers bars in it I love Snickers bars I wonder if they make Snickers eggs coz this one will just be normal chocolate with Snickers bars on the side but I think they should make an egg that's actually a Snickers bar but isn't because it's an egg –"
Teyla narrowed her eyes suspiciously as Tagan scrambled around, picking up the fallen eggs. He was a talkative child, but he usually paused for breath occasionally.
Her eyes fell on the table next to the door, where the Easter eggs had been neatly stacked. There were two left. She stared around the small hall of their family quarters, and her suspicions were confirmed – there were pieces of coloured foil everywhere, and Teyla could spot at least three opened and empty egg boxes.
"- but they'd still have to be wrapped in foil because if there were proper sweet wrappers on eggs they'd be really heard to open and you can't screw them up really tight like you can with foil and use them as golf balls –"
Tagan finally stopped, and looked up at Teyla. His eyes were shiny, his cheeks were flushed, and there was chocolate round his mouth.
"How many eggs did you eat?" Teyla demanded.
The look on Tagan's face clearly indicated that he realised he'd been busted. "Um, er…"
Teyla rolled her eyes and started to take the eggs from her son to put on the table. "Tagan, I told you that you were only allowed to eat one egg a day!"
"No buts, Tagan," Teyla said. She finished piling the eggs and grabbed his hand. "Look at you – you are completely hyperactive."
Tagan's face scrunched up in confusion. "Huh?"
Teyla tutted. "John!" She called out. She walked through the door into the living area, pulling Tagan behind her. "John!"
She spotted a boot quickly disappearing from view through the balcony doors and stepped outside. John was sitting up on one of the sun loungers they had outside, and from his posture it was clear he had been lying down a second before. His iPod speakers were playing June Carter songs from a corner of the balcony.
"Hey, you're back early," he said in surprise.
Tagan giggled and Teyla looked down at him sharply, giving his hand a little tug to bring him closer to her. "John, Tagan has eaten who knows how many Easter eggs," she said, glaring down at her son. He stopped giggling, but still wore a vague smile.
"Oh – oh, well… that's not good," said John lamely.
Teyla rolled her eyes. "No, it is not," she said.
"But Momma they were my eggs and they were given to me and I was gonna eat one but I couldn't choose which one so daddy said he'd help me choose one but –"
"Er, Tagan –"
Teyla noticed the look of panic on John's face as he stared at the talkative boy.
"- but he couldn't choose either so he said he'd let me eat more than one if I shared with him and you always told me it was good to share and so I –"
John's arms darted forward and he picked Tagan up, pulled him onto his lap and clamped a hand over his mouth. Teyla's now-empty hand fell to her side as John looked up at her sheepishly.
"Kids say the darndest things," he said weakly.
Teyla noticed the chocolate on the corner of his mouth.
"John!" She exclaimed. "For the love of – how many did you eat?!"
John went slightly red. "Only one," he said. His foot scuffed the floor, and Teyla looked down and saw that he was in fact attempting to push three empty boxes under the lounger.
Teyla raised an eyebrow and glared at John. He went even redder. "Four," he mumbled. "But I was really hungry!"
Tagan squirmed and made an indistinct sound from under John's hand, but couldn't get free. John ignored him.
"Why didn't you go to the mess hall?" Teyla demanded.
"Because… I… because Tagan didn't want to," he said.
Tagan once again made a strangled sound, probably of protest. John didn't let him go, so he reached up a small hand and flicked John on the chin.
John's eyes widened. "Ow!" He said accusingly. He flicked Tagan on the ear in retaliation. Tagan flicked John on the chin again.
"Children!" Teyla exclaimed before their flicking war could go any further. She growled in frustration and strode back into the living area.
"Way to get us into trouble Tagan," she heard John say as she went into the bathroom and pulled open a cupboard. She took out a large plastic rubbish bag and quickly swept all the unopened Easter eggs into it. She poked her head into the other rooms of their quarters but only found three other uneaten eggs – by which count, Tagan had eaten at least four.
Shaking her head, Teyla made her way back out onto the balcony. John no longer had his hand over Tagan's mouth, but he was still holding onto him, and Teyla could see that Tagan was struggling to get away.
"Trust me Tagan – it's better for us both if you stay sitting –" John was saying, keeping his arms tight around him.
"Let go daddy! I want to go!"
Teyla stepped outside and Tagan stopped struggling immediately. He and John blinked up at her, their faces pictures of chocolate-smeared innocence.
Teyla gave them a sweet smile, and both of them went from innocent to worried in 0.2 seconds. Her boys knew her well.
"Alright, here is what is going to happen now," she said. "Jennifer has had a shipment of pampering products arrive that she offered to share with me, so I am going to be in her quarters for the next few hours…"
"But I'm meeting Ronon in half an hour!" John exclaimed. "You know I can't take Tagan to the gym with me – it's too dangerous."
"Then you are going to have to cancel," said Teyla.
"But this is the only free time Ronon and I have got all week!"
Teyla's smile vanished. "You should have thought of that before you and Tagan at ten Easter eggs between you," she said.
"Those are my Easter eggs!" Tagan cried out suddenly, pointing at the bag in Teyla's hand.
"What? Where are you taking the eggs?" John asked, looking just as panicked as Tagan.
"Somewhere you two can't find them," Teyla said. "And instead of one egg a day, you will now have one egg a week."
"Between both of you."
Teyla gave them a cheery wave. "Have a fun afternoon," she said, stepping back inside.
"You're like the anti-Easter bunny!" John called after her. "No one likes that person, Teyla!"
Teyla rolled her eyes and kept walking. She could hear Tagan whining to John.
"Daddy stop her! Do something!"
"Like what? She might be pregnant, but she'd still kick my – er, she'll win."
Teyla grinned and opened the door to leave, rubbing her swollen belly. Those two were just lucky that the taste of chocolate made her nauseous at the moment.
Meanwhile, on the balcony, Tagan waited until the door closed behind Teyla and then jumped off the lounger. John watched him with some trepidation – he really was completely hyper at the moment, and he didn't really blame Teyla for leaving him to look after him. But to take all the eggs… that was just mean.
Tagan ran inside and John could hear him tearing through the rooms. He pondered on the fact that he should probably check on him and make sure he wasn't destroying anything, but before he could get up Tagan was back on the balcony. And he was holding an Easter egg box in one hand.
"I hid this one when Momma wasn't looking," he said excitedly.
John grinned. "Snickers! Score!" He held up a hand and Tagan high-fived him, and then jumped up next to him on the lounger. The two of them laid back, the cool breeze from the ocean drifting over their flushed faces, and tore open the box. Two Snickers bars fell out and Tagan handed one to John. Then he set about breaking the egg in half.
John opened his Snickers and bit into it. He grinned and placed an arm around Tagan's shoulders and pulled him closer, savouring the taste of the chocolate.
"This, Tagan," he said, giving him a squeeze. "This is what Easter is all about."