Sound of Music
A/N:Sry for the huge wait! I'm just...so bad at updating. Darn my laziness! Hope this chapter's intense humor is worth the wait! :D I'll try to update everything else within a week also. If not...you should PM me or something and yell at me to stop looking at other people's works and start working on my own. xD
Oh yeah, and thnx to those of you who told me Naruto's actually younger than everyone else in the series. Kinda weird, but i'll believe you guys. :)
Oh and, sry if i mix the order of things up, I don't really remember what order they went in in the movie... xD DEAL WITH IT!
Edit: Heheheh I forgot this wasn't in Japan and used honorifics. Darn. Well, that's what I fixed. :)
Naruto plopped down on his bed exhausted, his heart thumping wildly. Who would've thought those brats would actually put up a really good fight...
Groaning, Naruto forced his torn and tired body to flip onto its back. He stared up at the ceiling, finally deciding to stop combating his current situation. Roving his eyes across the intricately detailed ceiling, he gritted his teeth in annoyance as that ribald Kiba's voice floated into his ear from down the hall, slightly muffled by the closed door.
"There's going to be a thunderstorm tonight, Hinata! You gonna pee in your pants again like last time?! Hahahahaaa!"
Stupid Kiba, stop picking on poor Hinata!Naruto wanted to go shout at them, but didn't have the strength. He had already chased them around the freaking large backyard half naked; he's through for the night.
"Hey Peenata! Catch me if you want it back! Hahaha!"
"K-K-Kiba! G-g-give him back!" Naruto heard the tiny squeak of the timid girl. His heart almost snapped in two when Kiba kept up his retarded jeering.
"Oooooohhh it's a him?! Peenata's got a crush on a stuffed animal! Hahahahaha!"
Naruto couldn't take it anymore. With a growl and a grunt, he heaved himself up and stomped to his door. Flinging it open, he walked outside right when Kiba was running by, a small stuffed mouse trailing behind him. Thinking quick, Naruto stuck out his foot about two feet high, effectively tripping Kiba who went down with a yelp.
"K-K-Kiba!" Hinata ran over, standing over the boy with a worried expression. Naruto smiled softly at her affections. You don't come across a girl like that every dynasty! (A/N:LOL quoting Mulan xD)
But sometimes you just couldn't stand so much kindness, especially towards an undeserving jerk like Kiba. Taking Hinata by the arms, Naruto led her away towards her room; after snatching her mouse from Kiba's loose grip, of course.
"Don't mind him, Hinata. You can't help a guy who trips over nothing." Naruto snickered to himself.
"Ehh? B-b-but..." Hinata's face suddenly boiled to a tomato red as she realized Naruto now practically had his arms around her. Behind them, Kiba could be seen propping himself up and glaring at the duo.
Naruto grinned and looked at Hinata, who stiffened. "What's his name?"
"W-w-what?" Hinata glanced back at Kiba, confused.
Laughing, Naruto shook his head, his mop of blond hair waving about. Pushing past Neji and Sasuke without a word, he clarified to Hinata, "No, not Kiba, silly! I meant this guy right here!" At that, he held up the stuffed mouse, which he just realized had the most adorable button eyes and stitched smile.
"W-w-well, I-I named him ummm..." Hinata turned red again and started up her habit of pushing her pointer fingers together shyly.
"Um? That's a weird name..." Naruto scratched his head, hearing the giggles behind him. Ignoring the stupid boys, he tuned his attention back to Hinata when she shook her head wildly.
"No! I-I-I mean, n-no, Mr. Uzumaki, I-I named him...Y-Yuki..." A cloud of steam escaped from Hinata's head as her cathartic name-blurting brought her emotional release. Sighing contently, Hinata gently took Yuki from Naruto's hands and hugged the animal.
"Mr. Uzumaki? What am I, twenty-five years old? Call me Naruto!"
"O-okay, N-N-Naruto..." Hinata smiled gently as the beautiful name fell across her rosy lips. She bowed to Naruto and quickly disappeared into her shared room with Sakura. Naruto scratched his head at the quick goodbye, but shrugged it off.
Ah! Now a relaxing and revitalizing sleep!Naruto started back, but quickly found him surrounded by three tall man-looking-teens. Rubbing his temples, Naruto tiredly questioned them, "What do you three want?"
"Well, Na-ru-to..." Kiba smirked, closing in on the blond. Suddenly, he found his shirt fisted by a puffed up Naruto who was glaring at the boy with intense blue orbs.
"Who said you could call me Naruto?!" He hissed out, giving Kiba the shivers as his breath ghosted across his jugular. Damn, did he just notice how COMPLETELY sexy his nanny was?!
"But you just said-!" Kiba tried defending himself, pointing frantically to Hinata's closed door, his eyes never leaving Naruto's own sparkling ones.
"That was for Hinata. As for you three..." Naruto gave Neji and Sasuke each their own special glare. "You three can call me..." He let go of Kiba and raised his nose in the air proudly.
"...UZUMAKI THE GREAT!" And of course, he struck a superman pose just to complete the effect.
"I see you are all dazzled by my awesomness, so I will leave you to ponder it! Pahahaha!" With that final statement, Naruto zoomed off to his room, making air whooshing noises as he "flew" haphazardly down the hall.
"...Is he sane?"
"...I'm not quite sure yet..."
Naruto was having such a beautiful dream. He was bobbing for ramen noodles! Mmmmm how tasty! He licked his lips, plunging his head into that delicious bowl once again, nipping at floating strings of delicious Japanese pasta! Ahhh this was heaven!
With a start, he shot up in bed, looking around wildly. What he saw was— he'll later testify—the second most scariest thing he's ever seen. A pair of white eyes right at his bedside.
"KYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The monster also yelled, taking quick steps back.
Finally calming down and rubbing his eyes, Naruto wearily blinked at the shadow a few times. A streak of lighting lit up the room, revealing the "monster". To his surprise, it was Hinata, and she was...crying. Uh oh.
"I'm so sorry, Hinata! I-I didn't mean to scream!" Naruto jumped out of bed and rushed towards the frightened girl, bringing her into his embrace.
It didn't help. With a small "EEP!" Hinata fainted right into Naruto's arms.
"...Hinata? HINATA?!" With all his strength, he carried the girl to his bed, turning on a lamp on the way. He nervously leaned his forehead onto hers, trying to get a feel of her temperature.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU PERV?!"
Before he knew what happened, he was rudely shoved down onto his ass as a blur stood between him and his bed.
"What?! I'm not a perv!" He yelled, rubbing his butt soothingly. Darn it, that hurt! That blur sure was manly!
"Then why is Hinata on your BED?! You disgusting pedophile!"
Once his vision came back, he looked at the figure exasperatedly, identifying it as Sakura. "Pedophile?! We're like, only three years apart!"
"Four years, you idiot!"
"WHATEVER THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"
"THEN WHAT'S YOUR POINT?!"
"I'M NOT A PERV! I WOKE UP AND HINATA WAS JUST—"
"OH MY GOD YOU RAPED HINATA?! NICE JOB, OH GREAT NANNY!" The new voice burst in.
"Oh no, not you, Kiba!" Naruto had had enough of that kid for one day!
"YOU RAPED HINATA?!" Sakura now yelled, freaking out.
"NO! NOOO, I DIDN'T!!" God, what was with this family?!
"Hinata was raped?" Everyone turned to look at the door. Neji and Sai were illuminated there, one with a slight frown on his face, the other looking a bit too cheery for this situation. But then again, Kiba already crossed the happy line by a mile...
"YES!" Kiba and Sakura both yelled.
"NO!" Naruto screamed in futile. No one was really listening to his explanation.
"Shut the hell up, morons."
Oh great, Sasuke on the scene now. And who was that behind him? Gaara came too? Splendid, the whole gangs here!
"I DID NOT RAPE HINATA!"
Everyone looked at Hinata, who had just woken up and heard that beautiful announcement by Naruto. Her eyes started swirling and plop! Down she went again, into the blissful land of unconsciousness.
"HINATA!" Sakura shook the poor girl roughly, everyone having crowded around the bed to witness Hinata's reawakening.
Slowly, the girl came to, blinking her big lilac eyes a few times.
"Hinata! Thank goodness you're okay!" Sakura gave the feeble girl a huge bear hug, then swiftly got to the point.
"Were you raped?!"
"Eh?! N-no!" Hinata's face heated up again, but thankfully didn't faint again.
"Oh. Okay then."
Naruto sighed, finally out of suspicion. He got up, and with a few pats to his behind, he walked over to stand beside Hinata.
"Why were you here, Hinata?"
At that question, Hinata started twiddling her fingers and mumbling incoherent phrases.
She gulped. "I-I was a bit scared...and was w-wondering if y-y-you were still a-a-awake..."
"Oh, were you scared of the thunder?" Naruto smiled down at the trembling girl as another loud clap accentuated his point.
Hinata nodded shyly, now playing with the edge of the comforter.
"Well, no problem! I'll teach you a little trick, okay?" Hinata blushed as Naruto gave her a wink and jumped onto the bed. Sakura also sat down, a bit interested, as did Neji and Kiba (who managed to stay silent all this time, what a miracle!). Seeing everyone else doing it, Sai also climbed into bed with his creepy smile still in place.
Only Sasuke and Gaara remained standing, skeptical of this whole shenanigan...
"Well?" Sakura prodded, curiosity getting a hold of her. Naruto leaned in, everyone following suit instinctively. Even Sasuke and Gaara tipped their gravity point to hear better.
"You have to..." Naruto had a dazzling smile on his smile as he spread his hands wide (and nearly hitting Sai who was right next to him). "...think of your favorite things!"
"Huh?" Was the collective response.
"For example..." Naruto took a deep breath and to everyone's surprise, starting singing.
"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with strings; these are a few of my favorite things."
Everyone gave each other incredulous looks. Shrugging, they decided to watch the rest of Naruto's musical.
"Cream colored ponies and crisp ramen noodles. Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with poodles. Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings; these are a few of my favorite things!"
Ramen noddles? Poodles? What? Everyone thought.
"Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes. Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes. Silver white winters that melt into springs; these are a few of my favorite things!"
Damn, he's straight,thought Kiba.
"When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad...I simply remember my favorite things! And then I don't feeeeeeeeeeeellllllllll!" Naruto took a pause here as he tried to catch his breath. "SOOOOOOO BAAAAAADDDDDD!!"
Into the mood, Naruto jumped off the bed and started dancing around, twirling around with the comforter and various objects in the room.
Nevermind...Kiba thought with a smirk.
After singing the same thing all over again, he finally stopped and looked at everyone else with a huge grin.
Naruto looked to see who clapped. It was Neji, who was looking dazed. Hehe, trust the freakishly long-haired guy to admire the arts!
Clap.This time it was Sakura with a huge grin.
Clap clap clap!Hinata joined in with the two, as the applauding grew louder and louder, Sai, Kiba, and Gaara joining also. Only Sasuke was the stubborn idiot who refused to show that he was impressed by Naruto's singing skills. And where the heck did the orchestral background music come from?
"Thank you! Thank you! So, GO TO BED YOU IDIOTS! I need my beauty sleep!" With that, Naruto promptly shoved everyone out except Hinata.
After slamming the door, he turned to Hinata sweetly. "Do you want to sleep with me?"
"W-w-w-what?!" Hinata squeaked, gripping her hands.
"So you won't be scared! I see you've brought Yuki too! Um, this could be considered a uhhh... a uhhh... sleepover! Yeah!"
Hinata let out her breath she had previously held. "Okay, N-Naruto."
Naruto jumped back into bed, going back to his ceiling staring. He's been quite fond of doing that lately.
After a while, he just couldn't hold back his question any longer.
"Hey Hinata, do you think I'm doing a good job as a nanny so far?"
When no reply came, Naruto turned over to look at Hinata only to find her sound asleep, cuddling Yuki to her bosom. Smiling with the loving face of an aged parent, Naruto pulled the comforter higher up and then settled down himself.
Before long, the two were both off to very similar dream lands full of noodles and poodles and raindrops on roses.
ChibiesRevil- I wouldn't dream of not finishing this one! It's like, my favorite! xD So no need to worry about that, even if I go in a coma, I will write it subconciously! Mmhmm! :D Now speed I can't guarantee...
cluelessninja65- So many questions I would love to answer, and so many I won't for your reading sake. :) But I can tell you this; Kakashi and the rest do have a history, and it's going to have a fairly big part in the plot later on :D
DemonEclipse- SASUNARU LEGEND?! MOI?! :D :D :D :D!! ZOMG YAY!! Even though most of my stories haven't gotten to the SasuNaru parts yet...heheh...But I guess I could be classified as a Naruke legend. :)
forevrlostinme- Oh sorry, was the summary a bit confusing? xD the grammar was bothering a bit too, but i gave up trying to fix it and still remain concise xD Well basically, "five of the seven kids are hormonal teenage boys out for some ass. And the other two are just out for some ass" means five of the seven kids are boys. and horny. and wants Naruto. xD and the other two that aren't boys are girls that want Naruto. :) So the only difference is their gender, see? xD
goodemily547- Kukuku the molesting is almost here! Don't fret, my pretty! xD
Ivvy-sama- :bites nails: I would love to really reply to you about Sakura, but I don't want to give anything away... stop tempting me! lol! xD
kakaroshi- LOL well, if the readers think i'm funny, that's all i can ask for! xD personally i flinched at myself for typing it, but i guess i'm not such a big failure at humor! xD
Bee Bop- The next week will be filled with loving like you have never seen before. xD Not to raise expectations or give away anything...but lots of kiss stealing will be spread across the next few chaps :)
skyglazingMaro- Mmmm shirtless Naruto! xD I'm jealous of those Hatake kids... :pout:
sugarcult-xD- Haha Gaara will most definitely be one of the fiercest competitors for their nanny's heart :)
rglover- That's childrens' specialty: torture. xD So of course, Naruto's gunna go through HELL before his babysitting job is over xD