Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.
Mike Industries wrote the closing toast. KiY edited, and added the anti-climax to fulfill the needs of his OCD.
The title is taken from a song in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Chapter 15 - And Super Heroes Come to Feast
KiY gestured for Mike Industries to come forward. MI slowly approached the stage in the front of theater. People were anxious to leave. While the show had gone off better than anyone had anticipated, no doubt benefiting from low expectations, it was time to head out for the real award show, the Fannies.
"What does this chapter title mean?" MI asked as he joined KiY.
"Line from a song in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Ever gone to a screening?"
"Good." KiY addressed the crowed. "MI will close us today, with a tribute to the man really responsible for this mess. And thankfully it isn't me. No, we should really blame this on… You all know who." He went back to his seat.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, for those who are able, please stand. I want to propose a toast." Everyone, except Ran Hakubi, stood up in the crowd and began throwing toast at MI.
"Why are we doing this?" KT asked her dad.
"Obscure cult movie reference," JA told her.
"Well, so long as there's a good reason."
When the barrage finished MI glared at them, "This is a serious moment in the script! Ran, what are you doing?"
"Sorry Mikey, I brought my 360 along, and during the off moments, I was playing Dead Rising. I guess I got too engrossed."
"Shut it off and stand up! Please Ran?"
"Okay, don't get your panties in a bunch. Just let me save my game first."
The crowd remained silent as they waited for Ran. Mike was getting impatient, so he decided to proceed with the toast.
"We're all hoping the Fannies will start tonight. And we need to clear out of here… How many of you think we'll really get the Fannies tonight?" He counted hands. "How many think we won't get the Fannies tonight." He counted hands again. He grinned at his fellow writers, "We're a bunch of optimists. Anyway, this part of the show is to give praise to a man who knows no boundaries, except maybe a U.S. border. He has done so much for us all, and what we are giving him back tonight is a little token of our appreciation. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about none other than the creator of the Fannie Awards, and the man who ignited the talks for an invasion of Canada, Zaratan.
"Many understand the pressure he has, running the Fannies and keeping them fair and balanced. It's safe to say when he counting the ballots, he checks them twice. He also, is a human, much to the shock of many people. He has run into personal problems left and right setting up this year's Fannies. We, as a community, stood by him, with the hope of giving him the strength to push forward.
"So tonight, for this small moment, we honor the man who gave us the Fannies, who gave us the Kim Possible Discussion Forum, who got me hooked on reading Ron/Bonnie fanfiction. Tonight we honor Zaratan by raising up our glasses and bottles in the air."
Everyone in attendance, including Ran Hakubi, who had finally saved his game, raised their drink in the air.
"To Zaratan!" Mike shouted.
"To Zaratan!" Everyone repeated and took a swig of their drink. However, something unexpected happened, everyone began spitting out their drinks. Something was not right.
"Alright, who replaced all of our drinks with grape juice?" Mike asked as he scanned the audience, then he noticed one man who was smiling brightly. "Nebster, why?"
"Because," Cpneb began, "I didn't want everyone here getting tipsy, so I replaced it with something that wouldn't make you drunk."
"I had Mountain Dew!" Mike shouted at his adopted older brother.
Cpneb glanced at his wrist, "Well, look at the time. You really need to wrap this all up, Mikey."
Mike sighed, "Yes I suppose. That isn't my job though, that would happen to belong to King in Yellow!"
"Don't let me hold you back," KiY called, "You got to get to the Fannies."
Almost as one the group raced to the back of the theater and left via the front door.
Cpneb lingered, "You coming?"
"Nah, I got to clean up here. I've got an OC there for me."
"You pulled it off pretty well, the lack of editing showed in a few chapters though."
"These guys write fanfiction. I didn't think some of them would need so much editing!"
"Want to name names?"
"No, better not. Hey, this was almost a good idea."
"Yeah, but next time don't let anyone give an award in a category they have a nomination in."
"Several honest people here today," KiY pointed out. "And there'll be no next time. Zaratan won't go missing next year." He made a fist and tapped his own head twice, "Knock on wood."
"You should think about it."
"Tell you what, 'Neb. You can emcee next year."
"You're right, it won't happen again."
They shook hands and 'Neb headed for the Fannies.
As he gathered rubbish the Succubus came out from the back, "Hi, Sailor, new in town?"
"No thanks, happily married."
"Doesn't stop a lot of men."
"Machiavelli said a Prince should be both loved and feared - that we will betray those we love before those we fear--"
The Succubus yawned, "You're really boring."
"Yeah. Hey, if you don't mind, what's a succubus doing here?"
"About a century ago this used to be a vaudeville theatre. I was a headliner on the circuit in the twenties… Lot of life in this town back then. Did I hear you've no interest in using the theater again?"
"Sorry, no. You should have left with the crowd. There'll be a fancy ceremony starting soon."
"How are you planning to end this?"
"Originally the whole theater would collapse seconds after we all escaped. Then I was going to quote the end of Edgar Allan Poe's The Fall of the House of Usher as we looked at the crumbling ruin."
"I appreciate you not knocking the place down."
"Yeah, well it seemed kind of a waste. Besides, most of the kids wouldn't recognize the Poe and I'd need to memorize the end of The Fall of the House of Usher. So I'll just sweep up the toast and lock up."
"An anti-climax? Well, it seems fitting."
"Thanks," KiY responded coolly.
"You're welcome. Say, I don't supposed you have roles for me in up-coming stories? I do a great other woman, jilted lover, or object of a passionate affair - but I'll accept character parts."
"Here, take my card, just in case."
KiY tried to remember a line about demon lovers from Coleridge's Xanadu, but wasn't sure if he remembered the quote well enough to leave a good impression. Besides, his grandmother had told him to never speak to demons. He returned to sweeping up toast.